CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
BLADE
Dancing at the Bar…
I could tell she loved the soft harmony of beats that I had put together for her. I had given Starburst and the rest of the band my new song, and they had done a little work on it. It was now perfect and soon to be released as our latest single.
“You did this for me?” Kira was overwhelmed.
Her smile was everything I needed; it was the sunshine that always lit up the darkest part of me.
“Yes, I did. Getting Kira Back was something that just came into my mind when you blew me off when I first visited your office. I was so hurt and disappointed that I had let you go. I took the treasure I had for granted, and imagining you with another guy made me upset. I didn’t want someone else to be with you, someone better, because I didn’t meet up to your standards.” I was not ashamed of telling her what I honestly felt and laying my heart bare for her to see.
“I don’t know what to say, Blade, but this song? This song is a hit!” Kira grinned.
“That’s because it was all about you. Everything about you is a hit.” I loved it when she showed her love of the words that came from my heart and soul.
“I love it, Blade, it’s really special to me, and I will never take the love you have shown me through your action and words for granted.” She hummed the tune for a few seconds, then to my surprise, she began to sing the song as if she owned it.
Prisoner of your heart, won’t you open wide…
Open wide your arms, open wide your heart
Beautiful demon, lovely and hardened
Won’t you open, open wide your heart…
Oh, baby, I am just a man, I am just a fuckin’ man
Oh, Kira baby, forgive me,
Rose with a million thorns, open wide your petals
And take me in, for everything I’ll get you back…
“Can I download it to my phone? I promise not to send it to anyone until it’s finally released by the band,” Kira asked.
I cupped her pretty face between my palms and looked deeply into the pools of her russet-colored eyes. “You can do whatever you want with it, baby. I just want you to be happy with me.”
She nodded and continued singing along.
“You sing alto so well, you should join my band for our next tour.” I loved the sound of Kira’s voice; her alto was a rare flavor, and I liked listening to it.
She blushed and looked away shyly. “What do you think people are going to say when they see a randy journalist on your band?”
I laughed; that was Kira being humorous. “You’re not randy, you’re cute and sexy in every possible way. And your confidence is something I admire and look up to,” I responded.
She shrugged. “I’m not interested; I love my job as a journalist. Our job is to report what goes on in the lives of people like you.” She turned off the song and poked my chest with her middle finger. “You are what rock stars for a girl like me wet dreams are made of.”
Kira got this intense look in her eyes as if she wanted to devour me on the spot. My cock sprang to life with the ferociousness of a lion. My desire for her would never be tamed.
I was ecstatic when Kira started to warm up to me, from when she had frozen me from her heart. I didn’t know what made her change her mind suddenly. Maybe I had harassed her too much and worn down her defenses. I just hoped I lived up to her expectations. I would try like hell to be the man she deserved.
“Did you ever fall out of love with me?” I dared to ask her.
My question was met with a few seconds of silence. I forgot to breathe until Kira’s mouth opened with her reply.
“I fell in love with you, Blade, I fell deeply for you. Everything in me was in love with you…I still loved you even after we ended things. I lied to myself and tried my hardest to deny the love I felt for you. I was determined to fight those feelings, to cast your face into the deepest part of my memory. I would have succeeded if you hadn’t kept showing up, fighting for our love,” she confessed.
“I’m glad I did show up at the right time and…I’m most fortunate to have you in my life. I won’t take the rare gift of your loving me for granted, sweetheart.” I was so touched that such an angel would be this patient with me, to give me another chance to make it right. “I’m sorry, Kira, for all the lies and deceit, taking your love for granted and mistreating you. I will never do something like that again. I promise.” I caressed the side of her face as tears gushed down from her eyes like an open fountain.
“I accept your apology, just don’t break my heart the third time.” She sniffed in some air.
“I won’t. It’s a promise.” I dropped a light peck on her forehead.
“Blade?” Kira’s calling of my name sounded desperate, she appeared to be scared.
“Yes, what is it?” I asked.
“How did you forgive me so easily? You stood by me even though I didn’t confess I was a journalist. I was one of the vultures you hated. Yet you still stand by me because even I have to confess that I was secretive…I could be called shady even because I didn’t want you to hate me.”
What could be shadier than being addicted to drugs and alcohol? Even if she had slept with some other guy, I wouldn’t have let her go, because I’d pushed her away when she’d needed me the most. I took a deep breath. I stayed quiet to allow her to purge her heart of her confession.
“I didn’t tell you I was a journalist, and now I realize that made me a liar by omission. How dare I come down on you for your lies when I had a lie of my own. I was wrong on so many levels, Blade. Will you forgive me?”
I understood why she hadn’t told me about that part of her life. I couldn’t hold it against Kira even if I tried. “You kept it from me because of the way I spoke about journalists, but that has changed now. I no longer think that way. It’s vital to circulate information—the right kind of information.” I wiped the tears off her face.
“You don’t understand, Blade, this is more than that…” She pushed my hands away and stepped back.
“What could be more than drug addiction?” I scoffed. What was she keeping from me?
Kira’s eyes were sad and forlorn, and her lips shook as she cried. Something was eating her alive, something made her feel very guilty. What could she have done?
“You can tell me anything,” I reassured her. “I will never stop loving you. I promise.”
“Maybe I should have kept this one secret away from you, but I don’t feel right. What we have now”—Kira grabbed my hands and stared at them—“is a new slate. We are both starting out clean as a couple, and I don’t want to be the one to walk in with dirty feet. I want this for real and I strongly feel you want the same. My conscience won’t let me rest should I keep this secret away from you. I know you love me, and you’d do anything for me, but if you cannot forgive me or move past this, I will understand, Blade. I will totally understand.”
I was getting a little apprehensive. “You sound like you murdered someone or have gotten in trouble with the law,” I teased to lighten up the conversation. “Just go on, tell me what it is you have to tell me.”
“Baby…” The look in Kira’s eyes grew more fearful.
I tightened my hold on her hands and placed them against my chest. “Go on,” I urged.
“Well, the first time we met when I came to the concert in New York… I came to get some vital information on your band. Since Daybreak hadn’t gotten something viral for a long time, Penny sent me to work on a project that would draw more people to the Journal. I felt lucky that you’d taken an interest in me that night. I really liked you from the very beginning but I started having doubts about where our love affair would lead. After I realized you were heavily into drugs and booze, I considered just for a little while to make you and the Trash Monkeys my initial project. I am sorry, Blade, I never went through with it. I…I love you too much to let you go down. I couldn’t bring myself to show the world your weakness, to put you in the spotlight and have you judged or trolled on social media. When I didn’t present Penny with a story, she demoted me, and that’s where I am now. I don’t know what I’ll do if you hate me but I am sorry,” Kira apologized again.
I laughed when she had finished speaking. I hoped to God she was making this up because I trusted Kira with my life.
“I’m not joking, Blade. I am sorry I did something like that. I just couldn’t keep it to myself.” She reiterated what she had said earlier.
This time, her eyes had lost their sparkle; they were dim and anxious.
“I don’t believe you’d do something like that to me or anyone else for that matter. You, Kira, are a different breed. You aren’t like those rag magazines who get off baring people’s struggles in life and pain. Please don’t forget you who you are. You’re my angel.” I hoped, I prayed she was telling me a story about someone else.
“No. I am serious, Blade.” She pushed my hands away.
“You’re not! Please tell me you are not!” I snapped at her unexpectedly.
“Blade, I didn’t have a choice. I was under a lot of pressure to produce something. Penny didn’t care how or where I got that story from, she just wanted something out of me!”
“For fuck’s sake, Kira, don’t give me that crap. I can’t believe you’d stoop this low. I thought you were different from other journalists. This is why I always have a strong aversion to the likes of journalists like you! You are always desperate for something negative, you never focus on the positive side of things, you feed negativity, you make it the bae of livelihood. I am so disappointed in you, Kira.” I felt hurt all over that I had trusted her with everything in me.
“Please, Blade, you have to understand my position in all of this. I didn’t have much choice, I was desperate to bring something to the table.”
“At my expense? Oh, come on, don’t pin this on Penny. Fine, she pressured you to get a story, but out of me? I really loved you, Kira, I still do, you’re so different from other girls I have met, and that’s because I thought you had a good heart, a pure soul.” I scoffed. She was the Devil in a white dress.
“That’s unfair!” she croaked.
“You know what’s unfair? You were treating me like dirt when you realized I was still on drugs, you were self-righteous, but you forgot you had something dirty in your closet. I am done with you! I am done with Daybreak Journal. Goodbye.” My heart had just been broken into little bits and pieces.
“Wait…please, Blade, reconsider.”
I swirled around and faced her. “Look around, Kira. What do you notice about this bar?”
She scanned the empty room and replied, “There’s no one except us.”
“No, there’s no one left except you, and you wore the appropriate dress for this occasion because you are the Devil. And devils don’t mix with well-meaning people. Goodnight, Jezebel.” I strolled out of the bar without looking back. I was done, I was gone, goodbye to Kira.
“Blade!” Kira called to me, but I kept walking.