CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
KIRA
A WEEK LATER…
I had explained to Penny that I would work with Blade and I was sorry for my behavior. I admitted I wasn’t professional but I was able to convince her I had only been overwhelmed. She laughed over it and encouraged me to put the matter to rest.
“This guy is just what Daybreak needs.” Edel was scrolling through her newsfeed.
I knew from the way she batted her lashes she was enamored with Blade.
“You overestimate him.” I sipped my coffee coolly.
A lot of work was going on in the Daybreak building in preparation for the first interview with Blade, which would take place tomorrow. The office had suddenly turned into a beehive overnight.
“Come on, Kira, I am still mad at you. You should be buying me something else.” Edel rolled her eyes.
She was furious I had kept my relationship with Blade away from her over the last couple of months. I’d carefully explained to her it was just something casual, that was the reason I’d hesitated. Edel was my good friend, and I trusted her, she would never do a thing to harm me.
“I am sorry, Edel, how many more times have I got to say it?” I thought she was being petty now.
“When I am satisfied?” She peered at me through slitted eyes.
“What if I convert the apologies into magazines, how does that sound?” I bit into my doughnut.
“No! I prefer the former.” She gritted her teeth.
“Okay, I am officially done apologizing.” I rolled my eyes; I meant it.
“Daybreak Journal is the most talked about journal in the U.S right now. We are envied by other blogs and magazines. Everyone wants to have one or all of the Trash Monkeys on their show. If Blade could have this effect before the show, then it’s going to be explosive, and that solely depends on you.” She ignored my last statement and rattled on.
It irked me that people would see him as a god, as a role model when they lacked the understanding of his true beastly nature.
“You’re not saying anything. You never told me why you guys broke up. Are you still going to hide that from me?” she asked.
“Edel…come on. I told you already, we just didn’t work out. We fell out of love, and these things happen every day,” I explained, hoping she would stop asking me questions about Blade.
“Whatever, I like him. Blade seems like a nice guy, and I know you still love him.” She winked.
I was getting peeved now. “Can you just stop?” I snorted.
“Stop what exactly? Truth is bitter.” Edel grinned.
I just didn’t want to hear his name. I dreaded working with him but I had accepted his offer for three days, so there was no turning back now.
“So, you had been making love to the hottest Trash Monkey alive, and you never cared to say anything? You could’ve even written about it,” she continued to tease me.
“Edel! It’s enough. You’re supposed to be on my side here not Blade’s. I am your best friend.” I rolled my eyes again. Why was everyone so carried away by his bright personality? Would they still feel the same way about him if I were to tell them about why we’d parted ways?
“How am I supposed to be on your side when you have refused to open up about what happened?” she told me.
“I will just ignore you, Edel, I have to focus on my work.” I lifted a file from the table we were seated at in the coffee shop.
Our coffee break would soon be over, and we would find ourselves back at the office. I needed to make use of this quiet place to go over the model questions Penny had given to me. She had just written a few and asked that I add other exciting questions. She was really thrilled by the upcoming interview, and I knew how important it was to her. I didn’t want to let Penny down; I didn’t want to let my colleagues down. I was a person and I had to consider the greater good. But this was not about Blade one bit. I knew I would not fall back when I felt myself being reeled in again. I was still in love with Blade. I was sure of this fact.
“What kind of questions does Penny want?” Edel sipped from her mug.
“Model questions for ‘Knowing Blade’,” I replied curtly.
“Interesting. Do you need my help?” Edel winked.
I could tell she was up to something mischievous, so I quickly declined. “No,” I replied.
“Would it hurt if you asked who he is currently in love with at the moment?” Edel asked.
One glance at her face had me laughing. I felt like wiping that smug smile off her face. She wanted Blade and me to be together.
“I don’t want to be with a celebrity. Their lives are much more complex…so complicated yet they look glamorous on the outside. I don’t want to be with a person who comes from a different world, someone who fails to understand me. I just want to be me. I want to be with someone who wants me to be me,” I said.
“So Blade doesn’t want you to be you?” She bit into a doughnut.
My mouth felt dry. I hadn’t thought about that. I was about to answer when my phone rang, breaking our conversation.
I took the call without checking the caller identity, but once I heard the rumbling of the baritone at the other end, my heart did a double beat as I realized who I was talking to.
“What do you want now, Blade?” I barked at him.
“Good afternoon, Kira. You seem angry. Did anyone get you upset?”
The hypocrite! He sounded so loving and caring; he seemed like a helpless lamb yet so heartless and cruel. He was the lion who had torn my heart into shreds.
“Don’t ask me any questions,” I fired back.
“It seems I called you at the wrong time. I am sorry about that. Well, I just wanted to remind you about our dinner tonight at the South Beach Lounge. You’ll have a driver and you could bring your friend Edel along if you’re not comfortable being around me.”
I scoffed. He was starting to get on my nerves. “What dinner? What are you going on about now?”
“I have to go Kira, darling, just prepare for the dinner. The attire is semi-formal.” Blade cut the call before I could say anything else.
“You know, for someone who is out of love, you act like you are in love.” Edel had been listening to our conversation.
“What makes you think that?” I was still mad at Blade for calling me in the first place.
“The aggression, the self-denial, and how tensed up you become when Blade is around. You are fighting it, Kira. It’s not a shame to go back to an ex. Love is a gift, it’s something beautiful, and some of us may not have a second chance at it. Why not give the hunky guy just one more chance?”
“I will ignore you, Penny is calling.”
My phone had buzzed again—this time it was Penny.
“Hello, Kira, where are you?” she asked.
“Good morning, Penny. I am at the coffee shop opposite the office,” I replied.
“Good, you need to get back to the office. I’ve got a fashion designer, specially hired by Blade for the show. So everyone is going to get something new to wear, especially you, the hostess. You two are going to have dinner tonight at the South Beach Lounge. It’s strictly business, a professional dinner, and you can take Edel or Tom along if you are not comfortable going alone. The meal is just to get you two acquainted with each other.”
God! The bastard cooked this up, I was so damn sure.
“Um, I don’t mean to be rude, Penny, but whose idea was this?”
“Oh, mine. Blade was hesitant about the dinner, I had to convince him,” she said.
“Okay, thanks. I will do as you have said.”
“Good girl. Now go and make us proud.”
“I guess you are going for that dinner after all,” Edel scoffed once the call with Penny was over.
I wasn’t listening to her, or what she had to say next, I was just bothered that the dinner wasn’t Blade’s idea.
I thought he had cooked that up so I could spend time with him. Was he over me?
“No,” I mused, he wasn’t, he was probably busy, and that’s why he was reluctant about the dinner.
“So, are you taking your best friend along to eat with a superstar?” Edel was inviting herself.
This was my answer: “For your punishment for being on his side, I will say ‘no’.”
A part of me whispered that I had said no to Edel because I wanted to spend time with Blade alone, and relive old times, but I quickly pushed the thought out of my head. I wasn’t going back to Blade, not now, not ever.
***
I was on my way to the South Beach Lounge where I was supposed to have dinner with Blade Benefield. I felt nervous. What would spending time with him again after the breakup feel like? It’d been a month since our break up, and I still felt off anytime I thought about him.
In Penny’s words, “It’s going to be strictly business, a professional dinner.” I knew she had no idea that Blade and I had been together intimately. If she did, she would have had a rethink about this whole ‘Knowing Blade’ thing.
I was ready to do this right. I was not going to come off defensive or attack him, it would be purely professional. I had a knee-length sweetheart Tiffany blue dress with an empire waistline. I hoped Blade didn’t get any ideas that I was still interested in him or wanted him back. Either way, I had decided to wear something sexy, and with it being fair, the dress complemented my skin tone. I also wore light makeup and had my hair straightened and curled. I just wanted Blade to realize that this dinner was nothing but business to me, so was our deal together.
“We’re here, ma’am,” the driver announced.
“Thanks.” I smiled and gripped the door handle as he brought the car to a final halt.
I grabbed my purse containing my mini tape recorder, my notepad, and my pen. I headed straight to the VVIP section where I was to meet Blade.
The South Beach Lounge was a beautiful place to be. It sparkled like a jewel in darkness. It looked like a cluster of stars that glittered in the universe on the very darkest night. There were a lot of cars in the parking lot, valets in their ensembles, and a very sophisticated fountain whose waters gushed out from twenty different sources.
“Lovely,” I murmured.
I found the bar meant for the VVIP and smiled at the security and showed them a badge that Penny had given to me, which was to offer me clearance into the lounge.
“You’re welcome, madam.” He returned my smile and widened the door.
I searched the bar briefly. It was spacey; only four tables were filled up. I just couldn’t find Blade at any of the tables so I moved to the bar area and settled on the leather swivel bar stool.
Maybe he was busy or still at the studio or had forgotten entirely about the dinner. I decided to have some fun time with Edel on Facebook to ease myself of the tension I felt while waiting for Blade’s arrival.
We talked about the sexy way I had dressed. I remembered Edel encouraging me to take great care choosing my dress because there was a likelihood of the paparazzi catching up with us.
“You wouldn’t want to appear like a nerd the first time you’ll be seen with Blade, would you? The internet never forgets, always remember that,” she’d cautioned me.
I also reminded her that I had the right to do whatever I wanted with my body and informed her I’d never had trouble with the paparazzi before. Heck, I was a journalist myself for that matter.
I was still messaging Edel when the shrill laughter of an unknown woman distracted the peace and quiet of the bar. I glanced up. The loudmouth was holding hands with the man who had taken hold of my heart and crumbled it.
I felt jealous, an emotion I thought was dead and buried within me. Who was the woman by Blade’s side? And why did she look so happy holding hands with Blade Benefield? Had he moved on? What if he had only been playing with my feelings when he had asked me to come back to him?
Get a grip on yourself, Kira! You must never let him or anyone else see this vulnerable part of you.
I watched them both. Our eyes met for a fleeting moment before Blade pulled his blue eyes from mine and led the lady to another table.
“This isn’t happening, what kind of behavior is this?” I mumbled.
Although Penny had been the one to plan this dinner, I was here at the bar, so why was he ignoring me now?
I decided to keep my cool and continued chatting with Edel who was now telling me about her sick cat, Deolphus. I sympathized with her and encouraged her to see a vet as soon as possible.
Though my fingers were on the keypads of my phone, I found it difficult to keep my eyes away from Blade and his date. I was truly envious of the way they doted upon each other and the way they laughed.
Okay, I’ve had enough.
Thirty minutes had passed, and Blade was yet to notice me or come to the bar to greet me. I rose to my feet and marched angrily towards his table. I felt like punching him and the blonde woman in the face.
“Kira? How are you?” Blade stood up to greet me.
So he wanted to play games, did he? Well, fucking game on!
“Are you kidding me? Are you color-blind now?” I hissed, pulled out a chair, and joined them.
Since my job was to get questions out of him and to have dinner, I had come to do just that.
“My bad, Kira. This is Dr. Ashley Cutler, she is my therapist.” He smiled then turned to the lady doctor. “Dr. Cutler, this is the woman I told you about.”
I felt ashamed for assuming they were lovers. What had Blade told this woman about me? I was immediately consumed by a fire of eagerness and curiosity.
The blonde lady reached across the table at once and offered her hand. “‘Hello, Kira, it’s nice to meet you in person finally. You played an important role in Blade’s transformation and healing. I wish a lot of young women could do this for their men. We would have less broken and depressed people in the world.”
I took her proffered hand and gave it a shake. I felt confused but happy to know that Blade wasn’t dating this blonde bombshell. I would have to rake her green eyes out of their sockets if their relationship proved to be something more than patient and doctor. I gave her a smile to cover up my mean thoughts. Even though she seemed like a friendly person, I would have to pay close attention. I didn’t like the way she kept placing her red talons on Blade’s forearm.
“Okay, let’s all get comfortable and talk the night away.” Blade looked over and grinned at me.
I didn’t smile back; instead, I gave him a suspicious, narrow-eyed glare.
“You know, Kira, I came here with my husband but bumped into Blade. He insists we must celebrate his graduation from the program.” Ashley smiled at me.
“Husband? Graduation?” I arched a brow, not following, but now my suspicions vanished like a vapor in the thin air.
“Blade had a drug problem. He also had a problem with alcohol; he came to me for help, and Blade has passed the first and second stages of therapy. He is left with the third. We at the facility are very proud of the progress he has made.”
I didn’t know whether to cry or congratulate Blade. Seeing him with his doctor made what he’d gone through very real to me. The rehabilitation along with the therapy sessions couldn’t have been a cakewalk. The ice melted from around my heart, but was I ready for that?
“Kira, thank you, sweetheart. You played a part in my transformation. If I had not lost you the second time, I would never have admitted I had a problem. You made me realize that, and I am thankful I met you. Even if you don’t love me again, I will accept my fate and cling on to the miracle that your coming into my life brought.”
Tears stung my eyes as I peered at him carefully. He really seemed different. I wiped my face with the back of my hand and stared at into Blade’s beautiful eyes. If Blade had achieved this with the help of his doctor, then he had changed.
“I don’t know what to say,” I stuttered as the tears found their way down my cheeks. Images of our wild partying, his excessive drinking and drugs played back. Could this be the same person?
“All right, Blade and Kira, my husband Andrew just called. He is done with his meeting.” The doctor rose to her feet, shook hands with Blade, and dropped a light peck on my cheek, then whispered, “This man is crazy about you. You should give him a chance.” Then she walked away.
It seemed Blade even had his therapist on his side.
“I’m sorry, Kira, for not coming over to you at first… I saw the sadness in your eyes when I walked in with Dr. Ashley. I wanted you to know in your heart that you have the right to come to me; it doesn’t matter who I’m with.” He paused.
I laughed. “You are horrible, Blade Benefield. Do you know what I almost did?”
“No, what did you almost do, baby?”
“I almost came across this table and raked your doctor’s eyes out.”
“That means you do care for me.” He grinned. You are sexy as hell in that dress. I could never be with another woman when I have you, Kira,” Blade managed to say.
His words made me blush. “Thank you, Blade, I just didn’t…” I quickly reminded myself I didn’t want Blade back in my life, so instead of smiling, I frowned. I needed to reel myself in.
“What? You didn’t want to dress up because of me? You are always beautiful, Kira…you don’t need to make too much effort.” He leaned closer to me and caressed my chin. “I know I hurt you deeply…you deserve more, but I just can’t let you go. Give me just one more chance.”
‘It’s strictly business, a professional dinner…’ Penny’s words rang in my ears.
“I am sorry, Blade, I can’t do this.” I pulled my chair back and rose.
“You can’t do the interview or be with me?” he asked, tears glistening his blue eyes.
I opened my mouth to reply, but words fled me. I couldn’t say anything. It seemed I had been living in self-denial. Fighting a fight that had no end, a fire that would transcend to an inferno if I failed to let it burn at its pace.
I was genuinely happy for the progress Blade had made. I was delighted he had realized his mistakes, but a part of me was unwilling to let go of his lies and deceit. What if he went back to that life? Would I be able to walk away this time? Even if I did, would my life remain the same?
“Please, Kira, I know your fears. But addicts do change. People find a way to cope with their problems, and the way I found is you. You are the light of my life.” His voice was husky, drenched in emotion.
He was pouring out his heart into my soul, and for the first time, I listened to him. I began to imagine a third chance with Blade.
“Just this last time, Kira. I promise with my life to do right by you. I promise.” Tears rushed down his face.
I had never seen him this way. “Oh, Blade!” My heart melted like ice cream under a blazing sun.
“I know I was carried away and had gotten trapped in my own world, but I am ready to give us a chance to grow. I care about your dreams, I care about your goals. Because of you, I see journalists in a brand-new light. These are people who make their living working on information, and like any other profession, there will be bad eggs, but there will be good ones, too. I was wrong to plunge all journalists into one category. I know I hurt you, baby, I am sorry.”
He reached for my hands, and this time I let him take them in his grip.
“You never wanted us to be known as a couple, Blade. You never cared enough about me to make me publicly yours. The media had you attached to Trisha,” I cried.
“I apologize, darling. I want to be a part of your life now. I want to get to know your friends Edel, and Tom, too.” He paused as my eyes widened.
“You know Tom?” I asked.
“Yes, I asked Penny a lot of questions about you. I just want to know who your friends are, who your enemies are. I want to know the first thought that crosses your mind whenever you wake up. I want to know what you think about my music and the areas I need to work on. I want to be with you and only you. There was never anything between Trisha and me in a romantic type of way. It’s only for show,” Blade confessed.
“And the media? What if they get wind of our relationship?” I asked.
“I don’t care what the media thinks about me. I even planned something for them on ‘Knowing Blade’. I want to tell the world my story, how I got addicted to drugs and alcohol. I want freedom, I want your love.”
I felt Blade was making a lot of promises. Could he keep them all?
“I want and need the whole world to know about our love.” He smiled down at me.
“As long as I know your love is real, I don’t need the whole world to put our every move under a microscope.” I was never the sort of girl who was comfortable being in the limelight. I loved my things private.
“Just say yes, Kira, just try me.” He squeezed my hands.
I shut his voice out as I closed my eyes. I shut out the soul music that hummed in the background. I shut out the laughter that reeled in the bar and the clanking of glasses.
I searched for peace. I looked deep into my soul, into the depths of my heart. I searched for my inner voice, and when I found it, I found my joy.
When he whispered to me, I felt convinced as my eyes flew wide open. “I love you, Blade. I am willing to give you another chance.”
I realized I’d never got over him. I was playing tough, fighting against the angels of love no man, whether strong or weak, could resist when it came to matters of the heart.
Love was a rock. It was intense and feverish. Love was gentle yet powerful. It flowed steadily like a river at times yet turned fiery and as all-consuming as flames. It was a sword that seared hearts apart, it was a drug that mended open wounds, a spell that bound two souls as one.
I fell in love even more profoundly than before with Blade when I found the truth in his eyes. He had taken a step to care for himself, and that was the greatest love of all. The respect and love one has for one’s body, his mind and his soul.
“Please don’t hurt me again…” I blinked the tears away from my eyes.
“My vow is never to hurt you intentionally again. We will have ups and downs, but I vow to you to work through them. We can accomplish anything as long as we are on one accord.”
“I vow to you not to run away from you again. I’m willing to fight for our love.”
Blade kissed my lips to seal the promise. I groaned when he lifted his head.
“I have a gift for you.” He fetched his phone from his pocket and offered it to me.
I was hesitant and confused.
“Take it, it’s yours. Press Play, baby.”
I stared at the screen, then pressed the Play button.