Chapter 4
Sydney
I woke up to the Nevada sun streaming through the windows. My body was tangled up in a comforter and every move I made caused me to ache. I looked over at the clock and saw it was well past ten in the morning, and I sat up in bed as a wave of panic wafted over my body. How long had I been asleep? Where was Emery? Was Hawk all right?
Holy fuck, what did I just do?
While I tried to get my bearings, I rolled out of bed. I stumbled around trying to find something to wear, but couldn’t find my clothes. Slowly, the events of yesterday began surfacing in my mind, and I realized why I couldn’t find my clothes.
Because they never made it to the fucking bedroom.
I cursed myself silently as my vision began to focus. I saw one of Hawk’s shirts hanging off the back of a chair, so I slipped it over my head. I ran my fingertips through my hair as pieces of our intimate night came flooding to my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile. Out of all the reactions I expected and out of all the things Hawk could’ve done, the last thing I’d ever thought he would do was put his hands on me the way he did.
I shivered at the thought as my skin stood on end.
Suddenly, a sound pierced my thoughts. I went to the bedroom door and opened it as the sound built and built. I stepped out into the hallway and rounded the staircase to make my way downstairs, smiling as I began to identify what that beautifully joyful sound was.
It was Emery… and she was laughing.
I rounded the banister of the staircase and slowly walked down the hallway. I clocked my clothes sitting in a pile in the corner, but I was too entranced with the sight before me to care. Emery and Hawk were wrestling on the floor, and Hawk was showing her how to get out of specific moves. He was locking his legs around her and showing her how to break away. He was holding her close to him and showing her how to break someone’s grasp. She was listening to every word he was saying with a light in her eyes I hadn’t witnessed in weeks, but then she did something I didn’t expect.
She turned around and started tickling Hawk.
Granted, I knew Hawk wasn’t ticklish, but she didn’t understand the type of can she was about to open. Hawk was a tickle torturer. The moment you made that move you were in his grasp, and he wasn’t letting go. I watched him smile as her hands danced around his stomach, but the moment his hand came up and attached to her side I had to stifle my own laughter.
“The tickle monster!” he exclaimed.
“Noooooo!” Emery said, giggling.
“The tickle monster’s gonna get you!”
“That tickles! Noooooo!”
His hands flew along her sides before his lips dipped down to her stomach. He blew raspberries into her skin while she squealed and yelped for joy. Her legs kicked and her arms flailed, and I could see the pure essence of delight dripping from her features.
And Hawk. Holy hell, I’d never seen him smile like that in my life.
Tears rose in my eyes while I watched them bond. I leaned up against the hallway wall and crossed my legs, simply taking in the sight before me. They rolled along the floor, smiling and laughing, then Hawk finally had mercy and laid down beside her. The two of them were trying to catch their breath, and the movement that happened next caused a tear to ricochet down my cheek.
I saw Emery reach over and take Hawk’s hand.
“Will Mommy be up soon?” she asked.
“I’m sure she will. I just wanted to let her sleep. You guys have been through a lot lately, and she needs her rest, too,” Hawk said.
“Should we make her breakfast?” she asked.
“Are you getting hungry?” he asked.
“Yeah. Maybe Mommy’s hungry, and that’s why she’s not getting up.”
“Trust me, if your mother were hungry, she would get up quick.”
“I resent that notion,” I said.
Hawk and Emery rolled over to take in my grinning form. Emery scrambling to her feet and came running to me, but Hawk was focused on my neck. There was a wonderfully mischievous grin on his face as he pulled himself up from the carpet, and I figured he was simply grinning at me being in his shirt.
Until Emery’s hand flew to my neck.
“Mommy, are you okay?” she asked. “You have an owie.”
My eyes slowly trailed to Hawk’s as he tried to stifle a laugh. He shook his head and went into the kitchen, and that’s when the rest of the prior day hit me. Hawk pinning me to the wall. Driving his hips deep into mine. The way he made my body shake.
The way his teeth sunk into my neck…
“Mommy’s just fine. I slept on something in bed, and it’s left a mark. Is it bad?” I asked.
“Uh huh,” she said.
“Well, trust me. I’m just fine. How are you? I am so sorry I slept so long yesterday, sweetheart.”
“Don’t be. Mr. Hawk and I watched movies,” she said.
“You did, did you?”
“Yep. And he cooked dinner. Tacos. He cooks really good tacos.”
“I bet he does,” I said, smiling.
“I wanted to wake you up to watch the movie, but Mr. Hawk said you needed rest because you were tired. He said you were taking a nap and that I was safe with him.”
“Yes. You are very safe with Mr. Hawk,” I said.
I brushed Emery’s hair out of her face as something appeared in front of my face. An apple was sitting there, clutched in the palm of the hands that had brought me so much pleasure the day before. I rose to my feet and took it, taking a big bite as my stomach growled out with hunger.
“I don’t have much in the way of breakfast right now, I’ll have to go grocery shopping after church,” Hawk said.
“Church with the club?” I asked.
“Can I go?” Emery asked.
“You need to get some breakfast,” Hawk said, grinning. “I’ll be back later with some groceries. Any special requests?”
“Froot Loops,” Emery said.
“Froot Loops, what?” I asked.
“Froot Loops, please. Oh! And goldfish. Please.”
Hawk chuckled down at her while I simply shook my head. I took one more massive bite of the apple before I handed it to her. She took it within both of her hands and chomped down, juice dribbling down her chin. Before I could react, I watched Hawk dip his finger down and wipe it up from her chin. I watched his gesture linger on a cheek a bit longer than usual, and I looked over at him as his eyes stayed connected to her.
“Can I have the rest of this, Mommy?” she asked with a full mouth.
“Of course. Why don’t you go get settled on the couch, and we’ll find something to enjoy on television?” I asked.
“Mommy, why aren’t you wearing pants?”
I sputtered as I buried my face in my hand. It was a logical question, especially for a six-year-old girl, but Hawk took the reigns with that one before I could find an answer to dole out.
“Because grown-ups can do that sometimes. But, I’m sure she’ll put some on soon, all right?”
“Okay. I thought maybe Mommy’s legs hurt.”
“I’m not sure. Do Mommy’s legs hurt?”
I panned my gaze slowly over to Hawk as his eyes connected with him. His stark green eyes pierced my soul, fluttering something within my gut I hadn’t felt in years. I stood there studying him while Emery continued to eat her apple, and I decided to play his little game as I drew a breath in through my nose.
“They do. A bit less than I would’ve expected with how long the ride was, but then again the body can surprise you.”
I saw a spark ricochet behind his eyes before I panned my gaze back down to Emery.
“Adults are weird,” she said, sighing.
“Don’t worry. You’re weird, too”
“In all the best ways,” she said, grinning.
“I like the confidence,” Hawk said.
“Wonder who she gets that from,” I murmured.
The smile that beamed across his face told me everything I needed to know. With them bonding the way they were and how proud he already was to have a daughter, I knew I had to tell Emery at some point in time. I watched her hunker down onto the couch while she finished her apple, and my mind began to reel with all the ways I could tell her just as Hawk planted his hand into the small of my back.
And then, I felt him press a light kiss on my cheek.
“We’ll figure all this out, all right?” he asked.
“Thank you,” I said as I turned towards him. “For everything.”
“Anytime,” he said, winking. “Anytime.”
I shook my head and pushed him as the two of us giggled alongside one another. He walked over to Emery and bent down, pressing a kiss to her head as laughter peeled from between her lips again. He walked over and grabbed his leather coat as he slung it over his shoulders, and I grabbed my pants from the pile in the corner and quickly hopped my ass into them.
“Such a beautiful sight,” Hawk said.
“Can it, bud. You’re headed to church. Such unclean thoughts aren’t welcome in those areas,” I said.
“I’ll be back as soon as I can. Any requests for the store?” he asked.
“Beer,” I said.
“Besides the obvious?”
“Chips and salsa?” I asked.
“Always been a tried and true with you,” he said as he opened the door. “I’ll make sure to double up.”
I watched him walk out to his motorcycle, and all the memories came flooding back. I remembered when Hawk got his first cycle. I remembered the lessons my father gave him on it. I remembered the tricks he half-killed himself trying to accomplish in order to impress everyone. I remembered the first time I’d ridden on the back of it. How my arms snaked around his waist, and the wind blew in my short-cut hair. I remembered how free I felt hanging onto him while we zoomed down the road, dodging cars and outrunning policemen so we wouldn’t have to deal with our father’s wraths if we got speeding tickets.
He situated himself on the bike before he looked back up at me, and I could’ve sworn I saw the ghost of a grin on his cheeks before he pulled his helmet down onto his head.
I stood in the doorway and watched as he drove off down the road. Many emotions began to dawn upon my mind, but the biggest one was uncertainty. How was all of this going to pan out? How in the world had yesterday come about? How could a man I’d abandoned all those years ago just simply welcome me back into his life with the massive surprise I had clutched alongside my body.
But as my eyes continued to drift along down the road, that uncertainty slowly morphed to fear.
I watched as a black sedan pulled off the corner of the street. It turned around in the middle of the road and began exiting the neighborhood, following the same path that Hawk just took. I watched it slow down, the brake lights flashing their neon red as the sedan slowed down, and for a moment I held my breath. It stopped in the middle of the road as it slowly bobbed and weaved on its platform, then it sped off into the distance with its tinted windows and solid black frame.
I didn’t spend all those years riding with The Road Rebels to turn out an idiot.
Someone had followed me all the way to Hawk’s, and I had no idea what to do about it.