Chapter 8
Sydney
Once the tub was finally drained, Hawk and I reluctantly made our way out of the tub. I felt relaxed and beautiful, but I needed to make sure the water draining didn’t wake up Emery. I walked to the top of the stairs, my body drip-drying as I listened out for Emery, but all I could hear were her soft snores. The sound brought a smile to my cheeks as I turned to head back to Hawk’s bedroom, but I found him standing there. Staring at me. With his arms crossed over his chest.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he said, grinning.
“No really. What?”
He walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me, placing a light kiss on my forehead. I could feel his fingertips dancing along the stretch marks on my side, and I tried to push him away.
But all he did was pull me closer, my naked body smashing into his as he traced the lines of my pregnancy on my body.
“Don’t cower away from these,” he said. “You wear them well.”
“Hawk? No woman wears stretch marks well,” I said, giggling.
“You do.”
I pulled back and looked up at him, losing myself in his emerald eyes. There was a steeliness to them. A harshness I didn’t remember. But the way his fingertips were tracing the sunken in lines of my body boasted of the tenderness I’d grown up with. The softer side of Hawk he’d finally allowed me to see after our first kiss by the embers of a dying fire.
“Why don’t we go lay down until our daughter wakes up?” he asked.
I melted at the use of the words ‘our daughter’ coming from his lips. His arms scooped me up as if I was nothing, his chiseled muscles flexing underneath me as he carried me back into the room. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent like I’d done so many times during my childhood. If there was one redeeming quality about the lifestyle I’d grown up in, it had been Hawk. He kept me stable. Sane. Secure. He was the only person I ever truly felt safe with, and he grew to become the best friend I’d ever know.
I felt him laying me down on the bed before he laid down beside me, our bodies working underneath the covers as I sank into his warm body.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” I said.
“You can tell me anything.”
“This morning, when you left. I was watching you leave.”
“That a bad thing?” he asked.
“Well, there was this black sedan sitting outside. You cruised down the road beside it, and when you got past it, it crept towards the house.”
“A black sedan,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“With tinted windows.”
“Yeah?” I asked.
“Did you get a license plate by any chance?” he asked.
“No. I-... was scared, honestly. It didn’t seem like a car a neighbor would have.”
“Did they knock on the door or anything?” he asked.
“No. Just… slowly crept by the house before turning around and leaving. Is something wrong with The Road Rebels?”
I didn’t even want to entertain the idea that someone had followed me all the way to Hawk’s.
“No. Everything’s fine with us. I’m worried someone’s followed you, though. You sure nothing was weird when you were traveling here?”
“I’m sure, but I can’t honestly say I was paying too much attention. Emery was in tears until she fell asleep in her seat. I was trying to get her to calm down. I did pull off and get her some fries and some ice cream, and no one followed me then.”
“Syd now’s the time, to be honest with me,” he said. “What did you get involved in with the Iron Souls?”
“Why? Hawk, what’s going on?” I asked.
“There was a black sedan that followed me from church,” he said. “Found me in the grocery store parking lot, then followed me out. I tried to dodge them in traffic, but ultimately had to take a back road to get to the highway to get home.”
I knew he wasn’t talking about church, but something in my gut told me not to mention it.
“Syd,” he said as he cupped my cheek. “I’m not angry with you. The Road Rebels get up with the Iron Souls every once in a while. They enjoy our bar when they come through. We’ve never had problems, but if I’m gonna protect you and Emery, I gotta know what’s going on.”
I knew he also had to know so he could protect whatever operations The Road Rebels were running, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I couldn’t bring myself to mention that I suspected that they were running drugs. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that the Iron Souls didn’t have the moral code The Road Rebels did, and that they were using their women and children as shields in order to protect their growing assets.
“Hawk, it really was nothing. The DEA doesn’t have anything but circumstantial shit, and they’re looking for a motorcycle crew to make an example out of. I don’t think anyone followed me. In fact, I’m almost sure of it. Are you sure this isn’t linked to what The Road Rebels are doing?”
I saw a flash of doubt run across his face, and that was enough to tell me that The Road Rebels were dabbling in something soon. I knew discussing things about the Iron Souls was just as taboo as him discussing Road Rebel plans with someone who wasn’t part of the crew. That was just an unspoken rule: you didn’t talk about plans with someone who wasn’t part of it. Both of us were trying to navigate that territory, but both of us were stuck between keeping our loyalties and protecting our family.
Protecting Emery.
Even though I tried reassuring Hawk no one followed me, I had a deep feeling in my gut that someone had. The problem was, I didn’t know if it was the Feds or an Iron Soul. The Iron Souls didn’t have the best moral code, but they did take family very seriously. When we were all asked to disperse, I took the chance and fled town. If one of them figured out I was running to the only place I could go-- which just happened to be one of the leaders of another club-- it could easily be interpreted that I was defecting someone.
Telling their secrets.
Selling them out.
I didn’t even realize my hands were shaking until Hawk’s wrapped around mine.
If it was the DEA, I risked never seeing Emery again. Fleeing and dodging the government would get me thrown in jail for sure, even if they couldn’t tie me to anything. I specifically stayed away from that bullshit and kept myself ignorant of their activities just in case it came down to this. I’d have a chance at still raising my daughter. Still seeing her grow up and fall in love and get married and have children of her own.
But now… I had no idea the tangled mess I’d woven because none of us had any idea whose black sedan that was.
“I believe you, Syd,” Hawk said. “I believe you. And I know you’re treading a thin line right now. If there’s anyone who understands that, it’s me. Just know, if this comes back around to Emery somehow-- if this puts her in trouble-- no amount of loyalty can hold our tongues any longer. Okay?”
“I can completely agree on that,” I said.
A tear I didn’t know was brewing slipped down my cheek. Hawk leaned in to kiss it away, and my body reached out for his. He scooped me close, my legs threading with his as the warmth of his naked body cascaded over mine. My fingertips drew mindless trails along his rippling muscles, and for the first time since Emery and I had left in the middle of the night, I felt safe.
Secure.
Home.
We laid there in silence for quite some time before I heard Emery stirring downstairs. It would take her some time to fully wake up-- she hated mornings just like I did-- but that meant Hawk, and I needed to get dressed.
“Thank you for the bath,” I said.
“Anytime,” he said, smirking.
He tucked a strand of hair back behind my ear before we slowly scooted from underneath the covers. We pulled our clothes back on, and I threw my hair up into a bun, hoping to cover up my disheveled appearance from Emery. The last thing we needed was her asking questions before the both of us had figured out how to tell her about Hawk.
“I gotta go take care of some club stuff tonight,” he said.
“I thought Sundays were rest days for the group?” I asked. “That not the case anymore?”
“For the group, yes. But, I’m part of the leading team now. Sergeant In Arms.”
“Hawk, are you serious?” I asked, smiling. “That’s great! That’s so great.”
“Yeah. Sunday’s a rest day, but the core group takes that day to do inventory in the mechanic’s shop and the bar, stock up shit, count tills, pay bills, talk about upcoming events. You know, boring shit.”
“Oh. Yeah. Boring shit,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
His chuckle fluttered up the back of my neck as his hands trailed up my arms. I felt every single hair stand on end as his hot breath hit the back of my neck. He leaned his lips into my skin, ghosting them against my shoulder before planting them on my cheek. I shivered at his touch and could feel him grinning into my skin, his eyes taking in the physical reaction his touch ensued in me still.
“I feel the same way,” he murmured into my ear.
We went downstairs, and I saw Hawk kiss Emery. She wrapped her arms around his neck, begging him not to go. He hugged her and pulled her up from the couch, her legs wrapping around him while she clung to him. My hand flew to my mouth in shock while I tried to keep my emotional tears at bay.
“I promise you when I get back you and me are gonna watch a movie,” he said.
“Promise?” she asked.
“Promise promise.”
“Can we eat ice cream while we watch the movie?” she asked.
“Of course.”
“And can we watch Beauty And The Beast?” she asked.
“Whatever you want, princess.”
The word flew from his mouth before he could catch it and I stood, eyes wide, as I watched Emery’s reaction. Her nose crinkled up as she turned the word over in her head, silently debating on whether or not that was a good thing. She looked at Hawk curiously as his eyes darted over her shoulder, and for the first time in my life, I could see fear brewing behind his eyes.
This tall, strong man-- who could fist fight like none other and shoot a gun with greater accuracy than a sniper-- was petrified of the reaction a six-year-old girl was about to have.
But the moment a smile bloomed on her face, we both visibly relaxed.
“I like that. Call me that more often,” she demanded.
“All right,” he said, chuckling. “I can do that… princess.”
She giggled and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose, and I could’ve sworn I saw his heart lurch from his chest. He hugged her close, burying his face into the nape of her neck just like he would do me. I watched his back expand with the breath he was taking, memorizing the way she smelled before he finally put her back down on the floor. I knew at that very moment we had to tell her. I didn’t care when, where, or who was involved, but we had to tell her.
We had to tell Emery that Hawk was her father.
He kissed her one last time and put her down before he threw me a look. He came up and planted a barely-there kiss on my cheek, but my hand cupped the back of his neck. I drew my lips up to his ear as I felt his shoulders pull taut, no doubt worried that Emery was watching us.
“Soon,” I whispered. “We’ll tell her soon.”
I felt his forehead press into the side of my face as he smiled. I kissed his cheek lightly before I stepped off to the side, then turned and watched him walk out the door. His leather jacket spanning the length of his back as I hurried for the window. I watched him bring his bike around from the corner, which told me right there the paranoia he was working under. Emery was laying back down on the couch, stretching and groaning as she tried to wake herself up further, but my attention was elsewhere.
My attention was on Hawk driving down the road, leaving us behind at the house while we were being stalked.
“I really need to get his number,” I murmured to myself.
I almost stepped away from the window until a dark movement caught my eye. I looked down the road that Hawk had just traveled, squinting as I tried to figure out what was happening. There was something slowly creeping up the road, rolling down the pathway. I thought someone might be out of gas, or their car might have stalled, and I thought about checking the garage for something I could use to help them with. I was no stranger to car troubles with the rickety mom-van Hawk let me park in his garage, and most of my fondest memories of my father surrounded him teaching me all he knew about mechanics.
The great thing about me owning a shit car was the fact that I knew how to fix everything in it.
But as the vehicle slowly approached, I felt that same bubble of dread waft up my throat. I felt Emery hug my leg, her tired face buried into my side as I ran my fingers through her hair. I allowed the curtain to flutter back over the window, leaving only a sliver I could look through as the looming vehicle slowly rolled up the road.
That damn black sedan was back.
Only this time, it parked itself right outside the house.