Chapter Six
Bailey
A weight had lifted from my shoulders knowing that someone was looking for answers. Whoever this Liam was, Xander seemed fond of him, and I was growing quite fond of Xander. I’d learned to trust him, even though I wouldn’t ask for his help when I need it, like now. It had been three nights of sleeping in my torn clothing, dirty bandages, and filth from that mountain side. I knew I had to stink, but I wasn’t sure how to ask about a bath. Xander had been so good to me, so helpful. I hated to intrude even further. He obviously came out here to be alone, and here I was, messing that up.
“Are you finished?” he asked, motioning towards my plate. My belly was still rumbling, and I didn’t want to waste his effort, even though I lied when I said I liked it. The biscuits were chewy, and the gravy was so spicy it burnt my throat going down and left what felt like a hot coal roasting in my belly.
“I’m going to finish it. I just haven’t gotten my appetite back yet,” I smiled.
He chuckled, lifting from the couch with his empty plate in his hand. “You don’t have to lie,” his blue eyes busted through my façade, causing me to laugh. I couldn’t stop once I started and ended with a snort that immediately sent my hand over my face in embarrassment.
“It’s just a little spicy,” I admitted, calming myself as he broke his eyes locked onto mine. “But I’m gonna finish it,” I declared.
“No way. Let me make you something else,” he insisted, reaching for my plate.
I reached out, stopping him before he could take it away, my hand resting on his. I hesitated; the roughness of his skin made mine tingle, and a feeling stirred in my gut that I couldn’t deny. He’s your hero, your savior, Bailey, that’s all. I shrugged off the feeling, refusing to fall prey to my own desires. I didn’t even know who the hell I was. What business did I have thinking of him that way? I wasn’t married—he’d pointed that out clearly enough with the absence of a ring—but I could be with someone, in love with another man, one who was searching frantically everywhere for me in this storm.
“There is something you could do for me,” I coaxed.
His hand released the plate, and I quickly took mine away from his. “Anything,” he smiled.
“I really need a bath,” I pleaded.
“Of course. I’ll boil you some water,” he agreed. “Let me go grab some firewood first, okay?” he added.
I nodded, grateful for this strong, handsome man who’d opened up his private home to me and cared for me with such grace and kindness. “Thank you,” I smiled, trying not to stare directly into his hypnotizing eyes. Beneath that scruff was a beautiful man, one that tugged at my heart strings like a musician on a harp. Shit, stop it, Bailey!
“It can wait if the weather is too bad,” I stressed, staring out the window. The snow was coming down harder than earlier, no longer just a flurry, but a steady flow of white fluff that turned the daylight dark.
“Nonsense. We need firewood anyway. It’s only gonna get worse,” he informed me, news he’d neglected to share before.
I sighed, falling back onto the couch, realizing that I may be stuck here for a while longer.
Xander piled on his heavy coat, hat, and gloves, and pulled open the front door. A gust of cold air forced its way inside, chilling me to the bone. It quickly closed, but left behind a chill in the room that made me shiver. I reached for the blanket on the arm of the couch and curled up inside it. The smell of burnt wood—birch, for some reason I recalled—was heavily mixed with a musky scent that Xander carried. I brought it to my nose, took a long whiff, and felt a strange comfort by its aroma.
The fire was still crackling, and a small flame flickered above the last log. I assumed if I wasn’t there, he wouldn’t have kept it so warm inside, as he was much more adapted to the elements than I was, obviously as I shuddered under the warm blanket. Xander swung an axe, breaking large pieces of log into smaller pieces just outside the window. The wind was whistling so loud it sounded as if long fingernails were sliding across the cold glass. I hated that he was out there in the cold and that I was stuck inside on the couch unable to help.
What was I doing up here in the mountains? If there was a man in my life, wouldn’t he have been here too?
My eyes closed as my head rested against the soft cushion of the couch. I tried to remember something, anything, but the only image in my mind was Xander. The last three days spent with him caring for me had made him my past, present, and my future. The feelings weren’t real; I knew they couldn’t be. There was a real past, a real present, and a real future waiting for me outside that front door.
Frigid air busted back into the cabin as Xander entered. He carried a large stack of freshly chopped wood with what appeared to be little effort in his strong arms. “It’s nippy out there,” he joked, transporting the load of wood to the tile by the fireplace. I watched as he placed a couple logs carefully over the flames and then poked at them until the small defeated flame burst up with a new life. “That should do it for now,” he boasted, brushing the snow from his coat before removing it and hanging on the hook near the warmth of the fire. “We’ll get you a bath, and then I’ll gather more for the night,” he announced.
“I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me, everything you’ve already done,” I uttered.
His eyes narrowed and shifted away from mine as he moved to the other side of the cabin. He dug through the cabinet until retrieving a large pot and then filled it with water before bringing it towards the fireplace. “You don’t have to thank me. It’s been kind of nice having someone to talk to,” he smiled.
“I guess you don’t get much company up here,” I teased playfully.
His grin was magnetic, pulling at my heart strings once again with a powerful force.
“Why do you want to be alone?” I asked a question I’d already asked several times, but received no real answer.
Xander lifted the pot of water onto a hook above the fireplace, and then turned towards me with a warm smile. “Some of the guys came back fine, some didn’t. I seemed to be the first to jump into things, so I saw a lot, too much I guess,” he explained.
“But you’re not there anymore,” I said softly.
“True, but sometimes it still feels like I am,” he sighed.
“Maybe if you didn’t isolate yourself, it would feel different,” I suggested, hoping I hadn’t stepped over his invisible boundary.
He hesitated, not speaking and looking away from me for what felt like an eternity even though it was only seconds. “Maybe,” he chuckled, his blue eyes returning to mine, warn, kind, and filled with more than just the humor he tried to portray. To me, his eyes were filled with sadness, as if I’d hit a nerve. Maybe this mountain man, this macho scruff of a man didn’t want to be alone. Maybe, he just hadn’t found the person who could understand him and love him for who he is.
“I’m going get your bath started,” he mumbled, taking the barely warm water into the bathroom. He filled the pot several more times, dumping it into the tub at various temperatures; the last was boiling. I heard him running water in the bathroom and knew it was time to finally get cleaned up. I couldn’t wait. The awkward silence between us while he worked had left me alone with myself, and all I could do was smell my stink.
“You want some help?” Xander asked, sticking his head out from the bathroom door.
I did, but I hated to ask after intruding on his life not only by being here, but by pushing topics that he obviously found uncomfortable. “I can manage,” I insisted, grabbing hold of the umbrella and using it to steady myself on one foot.
I started towards the bathroom, nearly falling as Xander rushed towards me to prevent the mishap. His strong arms cupped under mine, lifting me against his hard chest. That aroma of musk and birch soared under my nose, stirring that feeling once again. “Let me help you,” he smiled.
I nodded, realizing it was foolish to try and do everything on my own. Xander moved to my left side, propping me up as I used his body to balance my steps. Inside the bathroom, he’d lit several candles so the windowless room wasn’t so dark and instead had a romantic glow.
He helped me to the toilet seat, where he lowered me carefully, and then ran his hand through the water. “If it’s too hot, just run some cold water. The insulation on the pipes should last another day or so. After that, we’ll have to start using the snow for water,” he grinned as if he was kidding, but something told me he wasn’t.
He pulled a bar of soap, a wash cloth, and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner all-in-one from the medicine chest and set it on the rim of the tub. “I’ll leave you be. Holler if you need anything,” he stated, and then pulled the bathroom door shut as he left me alone.
I pulled my arms from the sleeves of my top, and wiggled my way out of it without too much trouble. As I reached behind me to unlatch my bra, my hip twisted, causing me to send a moan echoing through the small room.
“You okay?” Xander’s voice sounded frantic from the other side of the door.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
My fingers stretched as far as they could, finally grasping the clasp of my bra. I tugged, but got no release. Shit!
I was exhausting myself fighting with the metal hooks, so I decided to save them for last. I unbuttoned my pants, gripped them on each side of my hip, and tried to lift myself to push them down. As soon as I started to lift, I moaned out again, sending another eerie echo through the room.
The door handle turned slightly, and the door cracked open. I couldn’t see Xander, but his voice was still frantic as he asked again if I was okay. I sighed, falling back against the cold toilet tank. I knew this was a losing battle, one that would probably cause me more damage if I tried to continue. I needed help. I needed Xander’s help.
“This is embarrassing,” I confessed.
“There’s no need in being embarrassed,” he assured me. “What do you need me to do?” he questioned.
A long sigh rolled up from my throat and out of my mouth, leaving a puff of white air that resembled smoke in the room. “I can’t get undressed,” I mumbled.
Silence on the other side of the door made my stomach ache.
“So you want me to come in and help?” he stammered.
Oh my God! I can’t believe I am about to do this. “Yes, I do,” I choked.
The door pushed open a bit further, and then Xander’s head popped into the room. “I can’t guarantee I won’t peek,” he snickered. It was obvious he was as uncomfortable and nervous as I was with his attempt at lightening the situation. I did appreciate his playfulness though. It helped relax my tension.
He entered the small room, leaving the door open so the warmth of the fire could take away the chill in the air. “Let’s get this off first,” he suggested, kneeling down in front of me and reaching up for my bra. His hands were cold against my skin as they slid across my back. Goose pimples corrupted my smooth skin as nerves, cold, or possibly excitement rushed through me. With one quick motion, the bar was unsnapped and dangling from my breasts. I held the material with my hand, refusing to let it drop and reveal my flesh to this man I barely knew but still found myself attracted to.
Xander didn’t pay attention to my desperate clinging to the satin material, instead he moved onto my pants. “I’m going to lift you,” he said softly, pushing his hands under my arms. He pulled me from the seat, letting my already loosened pants fall past my hips before sitting me back down. He carefully pulled them from my legs, one by one, with extreme caution around my bad ankle. “Would you like help with those?” he motioned to my panties.
I was mortified when I looked down, realizing I was wearing white cotton briefs that were anything but flattering. I must not have a man, if I did, I couldn’t imagine wearing underwear that nearly reached my belly button. I giggled nervously as I contemplated my next move. I knew I couldn’t lift myself and was going to need help in and out of the tub. If I lifted my leg that high to get in, it would certainly send me toppling over in pain. But, then again, if I let him help me, he’d see me and everything I had—or didn’t have.
“I’ll be a gentleman, I promise,” he smirked with a foolish twinkle in his eyes.
“I bet,” I scoffed, chuckling at his attempted scrupulousness.
“I promise,” he reiterated with a serious tone. His blue eyes melted into mine, and that smile beneath the scruff of his overgrown and shaggy goatee melted my anxiety away.
“Okay. I’ll need help in and out of the tub too, so you’re gonna see stuff,” I joked.
“Stuff?” he questioned playfully, his eyes widening and eyebrows reaching towards his hairline.
“You know what I mean,” I giggled.
He lifted me once again, and this time his rough hands slid along my hips as he pulled down my panties. When he sat me back down, my bare ass twitched against the coldness of the toilet seat, causing him to chuckle. “Cold?”
I smirked nervously, grateful he was looking into my eyes and not between my legs as he slid my panties down my legs and off my feet. “Okay, let’s get you in the tub before your water gets cold,” he leaned over, lifting me up from the cold seat and against his warm chest. His goatee tickled my face as he held me up, and the scent of the musk and birch tickled my nipples with inappropriate thoughts. “I’m going to lift you up and then into the tub,” he directed his movements.
I let out a long exhale of surprise as he scooped my legs from the floor and into his arms. He cradled me like a child, his hand resting on my ass cheek, and his eyes I caught resting on my breasts. I closed my eyes, hating that this was turning me on so badly, and soon felt the warmth of the water surrounding my aching body.
“Is it too hot, too cold?” he asked.
“It’s perfect.”