Chapter Six
Alyssa
My hands warmed against the cup that held my coffee, but they still shook. I was so anxious that I felt sick. The screen door flung open, and Holly stood there, looking just as anxious as I felt.
“Is he here yet?” she asked eagerly.
“No. Get back inside, and don’t come out here until I call you,” I warned.
Her face filled with disappointment as her shoulders drooped, and she turned around. I watched as she went back inside, feeling that gush of guilt flow through my veins; I’d felt it ever since she was born. She deserved to know her dad, and he deserved to know her.
My heart raced as a truck pulled up in front of my house, and I got my first glance at Liam in twelve years.
Dust flew out from behind the tires as he parked behind my little red Honda, and my eyes locked onto the front windshield, watching as he stared in my direction.
It wasn’t more than a few seconds, but it felt like forever for his truck door to open. As he stepped out, his blond hair buzzed short against his head was the first thing I noticed. It was the same exact color as Holly’s.
He took a few steps around the truck, making his way to the front. He paused for a moment, his eyes directed towards me, blue as the sky: blue as Holly’s.
His smile widened, easing my tension as he walked towards the front porch. I wanted to stand to greet him, but I was frozen in the metal glider that I sat in.
“Long time, no see,” he grinned; his voice was slow and thick like honey, and his stance relaxed and friendly.
“Yes, long time,” I responded, finally breaking free from my seat and standing to properly say hello.
My arms extended and reached for him without thought or purpose. He stepped back for a moment, apparently surprised by my welcoming. He laughed as he leaned back towards me, opening his arms to wrap around my trembling body. Damn, he still felt good.
“I had to check to make sure you didn’t have a knife,” he teased nervously as he pulled from our embrace.
I blushed, embarrassed by our awkward reunion.
“No. No knife,” I smirked.
When I told him the news, it would feel like a knife.
“How have you been?” he asked.
“Good. Just working,” I replied as if we’d only lost contact for a few weeks instead of over a decade.
“Oh yeah? Where you working?” he inquired.
“Dr. Reynolds’ office,” I replied.
“That’s great. That old coot still yanking teeth out with pliers?” he joked.
I nodded, chuckling under my breath.
It wasn’t an impressive position. I answered phones and sometimes harassed patients that didn’t pay their bills.
“I heard you were working for Senator Kline,” I noted.
His head nodded, and it was obvious he fought back a grin. It was a great job—bodyguard to a powerful politician. He had reason to be proud. I wasn’t sure why he was trying so hard to hide it.
“Looks like I’ll be around for a while,” he announced.
“A while?” I pushed.
I wasn’t willing to do this if he was planning on taking off in a few months. I couldn’t do that to Holly.
“I suppose I might stay around for good,” he responded.
I tried to hide my smile, but I could feel it creeping up on my face. His eyes left mine, moving past me and towards the front door just as Holly bounced out of the house.
A strange grin rode up on Liam’s face, and his complexion paled a bit as he stared at the young girl.
“I’m so happy you’re here,” she gushed, throwing her arms around his waist.
He was standoffish, looked shocked, and as his face started to redden, I feared he was growing angry as well.
“Holly, go back inside,” I insisted.
“Mom,” she growled.
“Now!” my tone meant business, and as she looked up at Liam’s face, red and filled with confusion, she backed herself into the house and shut the door.
Liam’s eyes pierced into me like sharp knives as his bottom lip drew into his mouth by his top teeth.
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” I said.
“So, she’s mine?” he questioned, his tone raw and uncensored.
I trembled as I nodded, feeling the guilt and remorse tearing through my gut.
“What the fuck, Alyssa?” he demanded, his voice loud and angry.
“You’re the one who left,” I hissed, trying to defend myself and my actions.
“I was serving my country,” he scolded.
“You left me; you left us,” I started to cry.
“You should’ve told me,” he growled.
“I thought you’d come back. What difference would it have made if I told you before you left? Would you have stayed?” I demanded.
His face turned red, redder than I’d ever seen it.
“I would’ve,” he started but didn’t finish his sentence.
I knew he wouldn’t have stayed. He was born to be a SEAL, and that’s all he ever talked about. I begged him to stay, to not risk his life or our future, but he went anyway.
“You would’ve?” I snapped.
“I would’ve come back,” he finished, a tone of defeat in his voice.
“But you didn’t,” I reminded him.
“Alyssa, I had to leave the way I did. I couldn’t expect you to stay here, worrying about me, not after…” he stopped short of finishing his sentence.
I knew he was referring to my brother and his death. He knew how much it scared me to risk losing him too.
“You broke my heart. It killed me that you left, and I still worried while you were gone,” I admitted.
The tears were falling freely from my eyes, no way to stop their flow. Liam just stood there, staring at me, a distant glaze over his eyes, and his lips tightly pursed together.
“Is this why everyone in the town has been acting so fuckin’ weird around me?” he asked.
My eyes widened, the tears slowly drying as I tried to look surprised. I wasn’t.
“Everyone knows?” he demanded.
I shrugged. “It’s a small town.”
“So that’s why Aiden couldn’t look me in the eye, why my neighbor was acting so strange,” he sighed, his anger still evident.
“When you left, and I was here, pregnant; it wasn’t hard for people to figure out,” I explained.
“Fuck, Alyssa, everyone knew, everyone but me,” he growled.
“I thought you’d come back after the accident, but you didn’t,” I sobbed.
“I was overseas; I lost everything. What did I have to come back to? I assumed you’d moved on; it wasn’t fair for me to come back and expect you to comfort me after the way I left. If I’d known, if I’d known I had something to come home to…” he breathed, shaking his head slowly as his eyes lingered on mine.
The hurt in his eyes broke my heart. I knew I’d messed up. I should’ve told him. He deserved to know.
I stood, moving towards him slowly with my arms opened, reaching for a hug. He pulled away, still angry, hurt, and obviously confused.
“I can’t do this,” he scolded, shoving his hands into his pockets and heading towards his truck.
My shoulders drooped, my knees started to buckle, and my entire body began to shake. What had I done?
I watched as he drove off, his eyes glaring towards the house, but past me. I turned to see Holly standing at the screen door, her eyes filled with tears, and I knew her little heart was breaking.