Chapter Thirty-Seven
Xander
My chest tightened at the thought of counseling, but I knew it was for the best. I couldn’t expect Bailey to give up her life and stay out here on this mountainside with me, so I had to get to a better place.
Why was she being so helpful?
She’d read my letters, and I was certain she’d read the words ‘I love you’ in the last one I’d written. She hadn’t said anything, nothing at all. Was she feeling the same way?
Lila called back, and when I answered, she sounded sweet, talking to me like she’d known me forever. I still got a little anxious talking to people I didn’t know, so I quickly handed Bailey the phone and made an excuse to get outside.
“I’m gonna restack the wood,” I smiled, leaving her to talk to her friend.
I knew it was about me, about the counseling. Shit, did she find someone that quickly?
I stepped out of the cabin and into the fresh air. It was still crisp, but warming up with the sun in full blaze above the mountain. I moved towards the wood pile, moved a few logs around, and then covered it back up. There really wasn’t much for me to do out there, but I wasn’t ready to go back inside.
I took a walk, using the path that Liam and I cleared that led to the creek. It was nice not having to push through heavy brush and get scratched by the low branches of the thick, tall trees.
With the rain, the sunshine, and the new clearing, wild flowers had blossomed along the tall grass, leaving a colorful rainbow of life lining the path. I stopped, taking it all in and feeling hopeful that Bailey and I would work.
She had to love me, otherwise she wouldn’t have come all the way out here, pushed those books in my face, and said she’d stand beside me while I dealt with my PTSD.
Sigh.
“Xander!” Bailey’s sweet voice echoed off the trees.
I turned back towards the cabin, making my way to the sound of her sweet tone.
“Where did ya go?” she asked, handing me my phone.
“I was just checking the creek, thinking about fishing for a little while,” I responded.
“Okay. Well, Lila found a counselor. She is going to call you on the phone to set something up for next week,” she blurted excitedly.
I watched her eyes dance on mine. Yes, she loved me. There was no doubt that this woman loved me.
“That is perfect,” I smiled.
“I’m really tired. I was thinking about taking a nap, is that okay?” she asked.
“Of course. I’ll bring us back fish for lunch,” I leaned in, kissing her on the cheek before she went inside.
I pulled a pole and net from the shed, and started back down the path towards the creek. I looked down at my phone, surprised that I had a signal away from the cabin, and knew I had the clearing and Liam to thank for that.
I dialed Liam’s number, curious as to how far down the mountain he’d made it.
“Hey, miss me already?” his voice was cheerful.
I could hear music in the background and what sounded like wind.
“Are you already in your truck?” I gasped, shocked that he could make it down the mountain that fast.
“Hell yeah,” he chuckled.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“It’s great. I just wanted to thank you for the clearing you talked me into,” I responded.
I made it to the creek after grabbing a few slugs, tree worms, and beetles along the way.
“Man, I can hear the creek rippling,” Liam sighed.
“You miss it, don’t ya?” I teased.
“I do,” he admitted.
“What’s on your mind?” he pushed.
He knew me well enough to know I wasn’t one to just call and chat.
“I think that Lila girl found a counselor. Gonna start next week,” I spewed.
“Yeah, that’s great,” he boasted.
“I guess,” I sighed.
“What else is it?” he urged.
“Would Bailey be doing all this if she didn’t love me?” I queried.
I felt foolish asking the question, especially to Liam, my SEAL brother. This was another topic we didn’t talk about with one another, but after he’d opened the gates to unchartered territory, I figured what the hell.
“Love… That’s awful soon, don’t ya think?” he asked.
“Not really. I mean, I wrote those letters, and she found them and read them. I said I loved her in the last one,” I admitted.
“And?” Liam asked.
“And she hasn’t said it back, hasn’t even mentioned the word,” I added.
Liam laughed, hard and from the belly. I was growing irritated as he continued to find humor in my pain.
“I’m sorry. Look, if you love her, then tell her, not in a letter, but with your own words,” he suggested.
“You’re right,” I sighed.
We said our goodbyes, and he promised to contact me as soon as he made it back to Texas.
I slid my phone into my pocket and baited the hook at the end of my line. I dropped the bait into the water and almost instantly had a hit. I jerked, pulling a nice size bass from the stream.
After about an hour, I’d collected over six nice-sized fish, all ready to clean and grill for tonight’s dinner.
The flat rock just a few feet from the creek was my cleaning station. I knew Bailey was sleeping, and the smell of fish guts wouldn’t be a nice aroma to wake up to, so I decided to get them all cleaned before heading back.
The filets were thick and meaty, and I was careful to ensure no bones were left on the meat as I tossed them into the bucket.
On the way back, I stopped at the open path and stared at all the flowers. They were beautiful, just like Bailey. I leaned down, picking some of the purple ones, and then moved towards the white. I picked three of each, even crossing into a thorn bush to gather the bright green ones that matched her eyes. I carried them into the cabin, set them on the counter with the bucket of fish, and started searching for a vase. The best thing I could find was an empty whiskey bottle, so I peeled off the label and rinsed it before placing them inside.
I washed the fish, battered them and seasoned them, and placed them in the fridge until Bailey woke up and we were ready to eat.
I sat in the chair, holding the flowers in my lap, just staring at her while she slept. She was the best thing that had ever come into my life, and I was going to do everything in my power to be the best thing for hers.
She started to rustle beneath the covers, so I got up and moved to the bed. I knelt down on my knees, holding the flowers in front of me, and waited for her to open her eyes.
Bright green, just like the flowers I’d picked, her eyes opened slowly. Her lips curled into a smile as she glanced up at the flowers, and then landed on mine with such sweetness, I couldn’t contain my words.
“I love you,” I blurted.
She sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes. Her hands reached for the flowers, and then she leapt into my arms.