Chapter Twenty-Four
Bailey
The roads were all cleared, so Lila took me to get my car. As we pulled into the parking lot, I stared out the window of her little red car up the mountainside. I wondered what Xander was doing. I wondered if he missed me at all.
Liam’s truck was parked next to my car. A sense of relief fell over me knowing that he was with Xander and that he wasn’t alone.
“I’ve got jumper cables in the back,” Lila stated as she pulled her car next to mine.
I got out, feeling the familiar cool breeze of the mountain air on my face. It felt good, comfortable.
“Aren’t you freezing?” Lila gasped, quickly wrapping her face in a wool scarf as she climbed out of her driver’s seat.
I shook my head. No. I wasn’t cold. I was perfectly fine.
“Pop your hood,” I instructed, grabbing the jumper cables from the back seat and moving to my car.
I unlocked the door, tried starting it once, and as expected, the battery was dead. I popped my hood and connected the cables to my battery, and then Lila’s. I leaned against the front bumper of my car, staring up the mountain.
“What went on with you two?” Lila asked, pulling me from my trance.
“Nothing, why?” I questioned.
“Because you’re staring up that mountain like you’re lost down here, and every time Xander’s name is mentioned, you blush,” she pointed out.
I sighed.
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes.
I slid into the driver’s seat of my car and turned the ignition over. The motor rumbled, but finally started.
“Louie’s?” Lila suggested.
I nodded and took the cables loose from our cars. I’d promised her lunch if she took me to my car, and she wasn’t going to let me skip out. I’d been distant, not just with her, but everyone. Most of my time was spent at home, caring for Dad, and the other part was at home, sulking about Xander.
“I’ll follow you just in case there are any problems,” she stated, and shoved the cables into her back seat before sliding back into the driver’s position.
I hated to leave, but I knew she was waiting on me to pull out. I wanted to run up that mountain, beat on the cabin door, and have Xander take me into his strong arms.
I pulled out, trying not to stare up the mountainside and keep my eyes on the road, but I ended up hitting the curb anyways. Lila was in my rearview mirror, her expression filled with shock. Shit.
The drive to Louie’s took a little over twenty minutes, and during that time I kept going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to tell Lila about Xander. It was obvious she already knew something happened, but I dreaded the way she would look at me when she found out exactly what.
Lila’s car pulled beside me, parked in front of Louie’s, the best burger joint in town.
“How’s your tire?” she asked, walking around the passenger side of my car.
I shook my head, fighting back the color that was forming on my cheeks, and walked over to take a look.
“It’s good,” I smiled, hitting the lock button on my keychain and heading inside.
“Two?” the woman at the door greeted us.
“Yes,” I responded quickly, hoping to get Lila distracted with the menu before she asked any more questions.
The hostess handed us two menus, which I immediately opened.
“Have you tried this new avocado burger?” I asked, pushing Lila to start browsing the menu.
I knew she’d get enthralled in the listing of all the delicious items, going through them one by one, even though she’d read the menu a thousand times.
“Bailey, you need to tell me what’s going on,” she demanded, showing no interest in the menu.
I placed the menu in front of me, flat on the table. My friend stared into my eyes with curiosity that I knew wouldn’t go away until she got details, but I couldn’t get myself to tell her. I didn’t want to tell anyone.
“I just really like the guy,” I offered up.
“Xander?” she questioned.
“Yes. I hate that he’s out there all alone,” I sighed.
“Didn’t you say that was his buddie’s truck?” she asked.
I nodded. What I didn’t say is that I knew if Liam was still there, Xander was obviously taking things rough. It didn’t matter how tough his exterior looked, he was soft inside. I knew that.
“Well, then he isn’t alone,” she stated.
“Liam will have to go home soon, and then he will be,” I protested.
“This guy really got under your skin, huh?” she pushed.
There was the color and heat forming on my cheeks. I couldn’t hide it. My lips curled into a smile, and I could feel my eyes dancing as they struggled to lose contact with Lila’s.
“Wow, you got it bad,” Lila teased.
“Stop it,” I sassed, picking my menu back up.
I buried my face behind the plastic menu, pretending to read each dish thoroughly.
“Can I get you something to drink?” a young waitress offered.
“Iced tea, please,” I quickly ordered.
Lila ordered water, and then she told the waitress we were ready to order. I wasn’t. I’d only pretended to read the damn menu to hide from Lila.
“I’ll have the avocado burger,” Lila chirped.
“Same,” I smiled at the waitress as she took our menus.
“So no more barrier. Tell me what really happened up there in the woods,” Lila pushed.
“We just spent a lot of time talking, and we got to know each other,” I insisted.
“How did he get to know you when you didn’t even know who you were?” she giggled.
“I was still me, it was just details I was missing,” I argued my point, even though hers was a good one.
“I think you’re really into this guy,” she purred, batting her eyes in my direction.
“I just really like him, that’s all. He saved my life, took care of me, and was super sweet,” I added.
“So why don’t you go after him?” she asked.
“Really? What am I supposed to do, pack my shit and move to the woods?” I laughed.
Lila’s lips pursed together, and her eyes rolled.
“Well, if you really liked him, I guess,” she sighed.
“I can’t leave Dad,” I asserted.
Dad wasn’t the only thing holding me back. I had a teaching job, and I loved my students. Xander was so distant when we parted. I wasn’t sure about how he felt either, at least not entirely. Plus, living in the woods, I wasn’t sure I could handle that, at least not long term. The two weeks I spent in the cabin with Xander was amazing, but I didn’t know what I had here, at home.
We finished our lunch, and I rushed out after paying the bill. I knew it was close to the time Dad would need his medication, and I didn’t want to ever let him down again.
“I’ll call you later,” I promised Lila as I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home.
Inside the house, Dad was up, but he looked horrible.
“Why are you out of bed?” I lectured.
He gave me a crooked smile, and shook his head. I knew what he was trying to say. He was still the dad, and I was the kid. He spent his entire life ordering men around, ordering me around, and keeping us all safe. Having someone tell him what to do wasn’t easy for him to swallow, especially when it was me.
“How are you feeling?” I asked.
He groaned, wrinkling his nose to make a face of disgust. I hated that he was so sick, but with the treatment, that would get better, but he would not want it.
“I can’t wait to eat again, to want to eat again,” he grumbled.
I smiled, taking his arm and helping him back to bed.
“Until then, would you like another Ensure?” I offered.
He chuckled as he shook his head. “Fuck no,” he groaned.
I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so ornery, so stubborn, that trying to get him to do anything was damn near impossible. I wasn’t sure how Lila managed him for two weeks.
“Thank you, Bailey, you make me so proud,” he said, gripping my hand in his.
It was the same words, the same voice that I’d heard when on the mountain with Xander. It brought tears to my eyes to hear him in person. I feared so badly that he wouldn’t be here when I got back, that I’d stayed gone too long and lost my chance to say goodbye, to hear his voice one last time.
“Here,” he grumbled, reaching over to grab a pamphlet from under his pillow.
“What’s this?” I questioned, holding the stiff paper in my hand.
“You need to call them this afternoon,” he insisted, pushing my hand away from his.
“This is hospice,” I choked, fighting back the stream of tears ready to roll from my eyes.
He looked up at me, smiled, and reached out for my hand.
“It’s time. They will make sure I’m comfortable once this medication is out of my system,” he assured me.
I’d spent plenty of time reading about hospice, and I knew it was the best option for him now, but I wasn’t ready to admit it. Admitting that it was time for them to come in meant admitting that it was the end of my father’s life.
“I’ll be okay. I promise,” he insisted.
I smiled, nodded, and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. I pushed the pamphlet into my purse and prepared his medications for the afternoon.
Soon, my father would be gone. It hurt so bad to imagine that day. I wanted to fall into Xander’s strong arms and have him comfort me.