Chapter Twenty-Two

 

 

Emerson

The summer flew by faster than I would have liked. Kaiden was busy for the most part with camp, but we enjoyed our evenings together behind closed doors. He and Cooper joined the volleyball team once we got home from South Bell, and it resulted in many nights out at local bars after practices or games.

Kaiden was much better than I was at keeping up appearances as a flirty single whereas I learned to temper my jealous reactions until we got home where I ensured he knew just how it made me feel. His flirting was always innocent and didn’t involve groping like I’d originally feared. Kaiden frequently kept an eye on me to ensure he wasn’t crossing lines, and many hidden smiles and winks were shared across the room.

“Mine,” I would remind him.

“Yours,” he assured me. “Always.”

Besides, Jagger was still half-convinced I was seeing someone in secret and wasn’t sharing details.

It was the last week of August, and I was finishing shaving and getting properly dressed for high school registration day. Kaiden had taken off with Cooper that morning to check out the local college—much to my surprise—and Jagger was swinging by to pick me up since Kaiden had taken my truck.

I already missed my jeans and T-shirts, and school hadn’t even begun.

At a quarter to nine, Jagger knocked and let himself in. “Hiddy-ho, you ready to go back to the grind?”

“Not even a little bit,” I groaned as I fished my loafers from the hall closet. “I was quite enjoying our vacation.”

We wandered to Jagger’s car, the cool, end of August breeze blowing through my thin shirt. Fall was fast approaching. In Port Raven, the leaves would soon be changing colors. I’d seen snow accumulate as early as October first in our neck of the woods, so it didn’t surprise me to feel the nip in the air already.

Registration day was a day set aside before classes began for students to pick up their schedules, pay their school fees, and get their new locker assignments. As teachers, we were required to be around in case accompanying parents or students had questions or just needed to have a general meet and greet.

“Here,” Jagger said, tossing a brown baggie on my lap. “Got you a muffin and coffee. I don’t know about you, but these early mornings are going to take getting used to again.”

“Agreed.” I set my muffin aside and cracked my coffee for a warming sip.

What Jagger didn’t know was that I’d spent all summer waking up early with Kaiden because of his job. Our mornings were spent tangled together in passion long before he needed to be out of bed. It had become practically a ritual and one I looked forward to. I hoped with the new school year, things in that department wouldn’t change.

We arrived at the school at just shy of nine. The number of cars in the student parking lot and gathered groupings outside the front of the school told me it was going to be a busy day. I clung to my coffee as we headed inside. Jagger’s classroom was a few down from mine, so we headed upstairs together.

The congestion in the hallways on the second floor was less. Former registration took place in the gymnasium, and it would take time for the kids to filter upstairs, so Jagger joined me in my room as we ate a small breakfast and chatted about the upcoming year.

“Have you checked out your class lists yet?” he asked.

“I skimmed it. Needed to know if there would be trouble on the horizon.”

Jagger chuckled. “And is she in your class again?”

“No, thank God.”

Over the summer, Alexa had not made any more appearances. Kaiden had seen her a few times, but the last we’d noted her around was that day we were leaving to go home to South Bell. I hoped that meant she’d moved past her obsession with me. Having her in my class again could have been disastrous.

For her sake, I hoped she got a few understanding teachers this year. Knowing her struggles and the fact that her dad refused to allow the school to be privy to that information bothered me to my core. She had potential to do much better than she was doing, but without developing an IEP, I feared she’d always be lost in the system with teachers who wouldn’t try to understand.

As we finished our coffees and muffins, students began milling about in the hallway. Jagger stood and sighed. “I guess I’m off. Good luck today. I’ll catch you in a bit.”

Registration ran until one, afterward, we planned to head out for lunch together so we could enjoy the last few days of freedom.

Throughout the morning, students came in and out, happy to chat and express their joy at being placed in my class. It was good to be one of those teachers the kids looked forward to having rather than one they cursed behind your back.

“Mr. C!” An old student I’d taught during my first year, Felix, came bounding into the room. “Guess who is spending time together again.” He spun with two hands over his head pointing down at himself.

Felix was entering the eleventh grade. He was a fun kid and kept things lively with his bubbly personality.

“Ah, shit, tell me it ain’t so.” I grinned, feigning disappointment with a hand to my head.

“Dude, this is gonna be awesome.”

He jumped up to sit on a desk up front which earned him a glare and raised brow. He chuckled and slipped down into the seat properly.

“D.J and Symone are coming back too. It’s the old crew all over again.”

I mock groaned as I pinched the bridge of my nose and sank into my chair. “I’m doomed. So, you’re saying I should retire now?”

“You’re the best, Mr. C, you know it. Everyone else makes math boring. Dude, you make it fun, and math isn’t fun. Math sucks.”

“I’m glad you feel that way. Doesn’t hurt my feelings in the least. It will be nice having you bunch with me again. Should I expect maturity? It’s been two years.”

“Nah, man, we’re gonna keep you on your toes like always.”

“Lovely. Can’t wait.”

We shared a laugh just as another kid I didn’t know poked his head through my classroom door. “Felix, let’s go, man. D.J’s waiting.”

Felix jumped up and bolted toward the door. “See you soon, Mr. C. Peace out.”

I waved him off with a smile. He would certainly make class fun.

I was teaching three courses in the first semester. Grade nine applied math, grade eleven applied algebra and geometry, and a uni-level, twelfth-year finite math course. My curriculum was planned, and I was ready to go. Even though I was sad to see summer end, I was secretly looking forward to school starting again. I loved teaching.

At shortly after noon, I had a few grade nine student’s parents swing by to say hi and discuss their child’s curriculum. And at twelve-thirty, I spent a long time discussing university requirements with a student entering his final year of high school who was looking to pursue math studies once he graduated.

The day was more relaxed than I’d assumed it would be. The crowds of students mostly didn’t venture into their assigned classrooms, so I had a lot of spare time to go over any leftover material I needed to organize for September.

At nearly one, Jagger popped back in and sat up front on the same desk I’d silently berated Felix for sitting on earlier in the day.

“How’d it go?”

“It was fine. Slow for the most part. You?”

“Lots of grade nine parents looking to lord over their kids’ schooling.”

“Isn’t that always how it is? It generally takes a year for them to back down a bit and let their pre-adult children become responsible for their own grades.”

“Truth. Where do you want to head for lunch?”

“I don’t know, I was thinking—”

Movement at the classroom door drew my eye, and the words stilled on my lips. Alexa. Jagger turned at my sudden distraction to see what was wrong.

I’d anticipated meeting up with Alexa today. Somehow, I knew I wouldn’t get away with avoiding her altogether. I simply hoped her summer had treated her well and we could resume a friendly teacher/student acquaintance.

“Alexa,” I greeted, “How are you? All registered for the new year?”

She didn’t answer but strolled into the classroom with an elaborate frown in place. Jagger glanced in my direction and then back at her.

“Is something the matter?” I asked when she stopped by my desk with her arms crossed over her chest. She met my eyes briefly, glanced away, then met them again for a few seconds longer.

“Why?” she asked, gaze fixed on the floor.

I dashed a glance to Jagger who shrugged.

“Why what?”

“Dad said I need to lay off. He said I wasn’t allowed to like you because it’s not appropriate. I’m seventeen now. My birthday was in July. Next year, I’m eighteen. But he still said it was wrong.”

“Alexa—”

“No!” Her voice rose in pitch, and she squeezed her arms tighter around her waist. “I get it, okay. I understand relationships inside my head. I know how they work. Making them happen is harder. I know I’m not good at it, but you are always nice to me. You try to understand me. I thought, maybe when I was older that it could be allowed, but I needed to see if you liked me too. I was practicing how to ask you. Trying hard to remember how to act properly. But social rules confuse me…”

She trailed off and tried once again to meet my stare. Her forehead creased, and she shuffled her feet.

“Alexa, first of all, you are a very sweet young woman, and there are many young men out there who would be thrilled to have you as their girlfriend, I’m sure. Your dad is right, it’s not appropriate to have a relationship with a teacher. It’s against the law, in fact. You’re a minor, and even if you weren’t and things were entirely different, Alexa, I’m gay, so it wouldn’t have ever been a possibility, okay?”

She huffed and curled her nose. “Well, I know that now.”

I tilted my head to the side when she looked like she had more to say.

“I just don’t understand why it’s against the law for you to like me but it’s okay for you to make out with your brother like you’re dating or something. That doesn’t make sense. I thought that was against the law too.”

The air in my lungs turned hot. I stood frozen as her words hit my ears and their meaning became clear. What had this girl seen? Oh, shit.

“Excuse me?” The desk where Jagger had been planted scraped against the ground as he stood. “What do you mean?”

“Alexa, I think you’re gravely mistaken,” I interrupted.

“No, I’m not. I saw you two. More than once. I was at your house. You came home, and he was skateboarding outside. It wasn’t a friendly kiss like dad puts on my cheek. His tongue was down your throat, and you touched each other… you know… down there.” She motioned with her hand.

Blood pulsed in my ears so loud it washed out whatever Jagger said next. My vision wavered and blurred at the edges. I’d forgotten how to breathe and gasped once before my ass hit a desk behind me. I caught myself before I toppled over, but Jagger snagged my arm and wrenched me upright. His mouth was by my ear, and his harsh whisper raised the hairs on my arm.

“What the fuck is she talking about?”

I couldn’t find words. My heart thrummed as a cold sweat broke out over my entire body.

“I told my dad. He’s talking to Mr. Kean right now.” Alexa’s final words hit me like a truck, and I pulled from Jagger’s grasp and stumbled as fast as I could from the room. I needed air. Space. Fuck, I needed to wake up and for all of this to be a dream.

How I ended up in the bathroom down the hall, I couldn’t recall. Everything was an incomprehensible blur. A buzzing of noise assaulted my brain mercilessly. The last five minutes felt surreal. They didn’t happen. Alexa did not just walk into my classroom and announce Kaiden’s and my secret out loud in front of Jagger.

Shit!

I ripped my phone from my pocket and fumbled through a text to Kaiden with shaking hands.

Me: We are so fucked!

I couldn’t force my hands to type anymore. I didn’t know where to even begin to explain. What did I do from there? Her father knew? My job was in jeopardy. How long until the rug was torn out from underneath me?

The slam of the bathroom door opening startled me. I jumped and shot my gaze to the new occupant. Jagger. He bolted the door behind him and turned, leaning against it with his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face.

“What the fuck?”

I had nothing to say in my defense, so I remained silent.

“I just had to confirm that she actually knew who Kaiden was, because this couldn’t be real. She must have been mistaken, but no, she knew exactly who Kaiden was because she saw him coaching with you last year. She even described him to me perfectly.”

He washed a hand down his face and blew out a breath before his look changed to one of disgust and disbelief. “Em, are you fucking around with Kaiden? Seriously?”

I opened my mouth to respond. How could I lie when the truth had been painted so vibrantly only moments before? My gaze flitted away. I couldn’t look him in the eyes and admit to having willingly taken Kaiden to bed.

“Yes,” I croaked. “But, Jagger, let me—”

He didn’t let me finish. “Fuck. Wow, you think you know a guy.”

“Can I explain?”

“What is there to explain? At least tell me Kaiden was on board and you didn’t push this on him.”

“What the hell? Of course, he was on board. What kind of person do you think I am?”

“I have no fucking idea anymore!”

Jagger shook his head and paced, his face screwing up a few times at random when I imagined he considered Kaiden and my situation.

“You’re fucked, you know that, right? Her dad was meeting with the principal while she was up here blowing your cover. I hope it was worth it. Say goodbye to your career.”

He spun and unlocked the door. Just before he pulled it open, I snagged his arm and pulled him back.

“Jagger, wait.”

“What?” he yelled, shooing my arm off. “What the hell do you have to say, Emerson? You want me to support this? You want me to have your back? Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?”

“For you maybe. You don’t have a clue how Kaiden and I work. I don’t expect you to understand. I don’t expect anyone to understand. Maybe it’s wrong, maybe it’s all taboo and shouldn’t be happening, but it’s our life, and we are happy with it. We fucked up. No one should have found out, and now I’m obviously going to pay for it. I don’t expect your support, or for you to have my back, but I thought we were friends.”

Jagger snorted through his nose. “Yeah, I thought so too.”

Then he left.

The slam of the bathroom door rang with a finality I felt in my bones. My entire life was about to turn upside down, and I got the feeling my coming out in South Bell would be nothing compared to what I was about to face.

I re-locked the bathroom door and turned on the sink. Splashing cool water on my face did little to help. My nerves were shot, and it felt as though the moment I walked out of the bathroom, all hell would break loose.

My phone pinged as I dried my face. It was a reply from Kaiden.

Kaiden: Explain?

With a heavy sigh, I managed a response.

Me: We’ve been found out. Heading home. Be there soon.

I silenced my phone after that knowing he would blow up my messenger. Walking into the hallway was surprisingly calm. A few kids were around, talking by lockers and going about their day, but Jagger and Alexa were gone. My erratic state of nerves was unknown to everyone I passed. I made a pit stop in my classroom, gathered my belongings, and flew out the door. As I hustled toward the front entrance, I called a cab.

 

* * *

 

“What the hell are we going to do?” Kaiden yelled, pacing the length of the living room for the dozenth time. “We’re finished. Your job is over, Em.”

“Don’t you think I know that. Sit down.”

“No. It’s that girl’s fault. I knew she was trouble. I should have fucking called the cops when she was creeping around.”

“Kaiden, it’s not her fault. It’s our fault. We should have been more careful.”

“Fuck!” He dropped onto the couch beside me and tugged hands through his hair. “What do we do?”

“We wait. Her dad was meeting with the principal. I expect to be called in for disciplinary action and to be walked out. Then, I don’t know. Let me think.”

A long period of silence stretched between us. Every part of our situation grated on my nerves. I knew it was considered wrong. I knew before we’d even crossed lines the risk we ran. But I couldn’t shake the unfairness of the situation. It was no one else’s business what Kaiden and I did behind closed doors. We weren’t hurting anyone.

“I was going to sign up for college. It was going to be my surprise to you tonight. Cooper and I were checking out a few courses for environmental studies. Outdoor stuff. We thought we’d go together. Now, I feel so up in the air again.”

I tugged Kaiden up against me, hugging him to my side. He’d come so far in a short time. He was settled and much more level-headed than he’d been less than a year ago. How could such a stupid, trivial fuck-up ruin all that progress?

“Whatever happens, we do it together. Always together, Kai. I love you. I hope you know that.”

He tilted his head and studied my face. “I’m your brother, it’s par for the course to love me.”

I smiled, gazing into his dark brown eyes so much like my own. With a tender stroke, I drew the hair from his forehead and kissed the creases away. “In love,” I whispered. “That’s not the same at all.”

He blinked a few times as his grin grew wide, then he dropped his head on my shoulder. “I like that. It feels right.”

It did. And fuck anyone who said differently.