CHAPTER SIX
SHANE
With my last check from the security job, I managed to pick up some food at the market. I couldn't afford to take her out to dinner or do anything fancy, but I worked with what I had. Nolan and Emily were more than happy to eat in the living room in front of the TV while I set up the tiny little dining area for Piper and me.
I don't know what I wanted to come out of this dinner, this reconnection with a woman I'd cared about so much, so long ago. But, the thought of seeing her again, outside the convenience store this time, made me smile.
“I think your girlfriend is here,” Nolan called out as I pulled the spaghetti from the oven.
I wasn't much of a cook, but I could make a mean baked spaghetti and meatballs, thanks to my mom. I rushed to the door and opened it, and stood there for a second with wide eyes, taking her in. My mouth had fallen open into a perfect “O,” and I'm pretty sure I'd stopped breathing altogether for a minute.
She wore a black cotton sheath dress, simple and classic, that was almost the exact same color as her hair. It brought out the paleness of her complexion and the gray in her eyes beautifully and hugged her curves in all the right places. I couldn't help but notice just how nicely she'd filled out over our time apart. It literally left me speechless for a few moments.
“Uh come in,” I said, finally snapping out of my trance and opened the door enough for her to step inside. “And welcome to our humble abode.”
She grinned. “Thank you,” she said.
She looked over at Emily sitting on the couch, staring at the TV, totally uninterested in the world around her.
“Wow,” Piper said. “They have both grown up so much.”
Emily's gaze flickered over to us and I saw the first spark of interest I'd seen in them all day. That spark of interest was quickly followed by the light of recognition.
“Piper?” Emily asked.
“You remember me?” Piper said.
“Of course,” Emily said, her face lighting up. “You were always my favorite of Shane's girlfriends.”
Ouch. Piper's smile wavered just a bit, drawing a mortified expression from Emily. It was as if she'd only just realized it was the wrong thing to say. Emily cleared her throat quickly and tried to save face.
“I mean, not that he had many,” she said. “But – well – of the few he brought home, you were the only one I remembered.”
“Well thank you, I think,” Piper chuckled.
I took Piper's hand, her skin as soft as I remembered it, and led her into the dining room and away from my brother and sister before they could say anything else that might make either Piper or myself feel awkward and uncomfortable.
“It smells delicious,” Piper said as we stepped into the kitchen-slash-dining area.
“I remembered you liked Italian food,” I said.
“I do, very much,” she said, her eyes twinkling.
“Well you're in for a treat then,” I said.
I pulled out her seat and she sat down, and I served up the food. We made idle chit chat until I joined her, sitting across from her at the small table.
“So what happened after high school?” I asked her.
“Uh, well, I went to KU for a little while, but you knew that already,” she said.
She bit her lip and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear but avoided looking at me.
“I did,” I said. “I remember.”
I watched her closely and saw that she was guarding something. She was keeping a secret and seemed to be debating with herself whether or not to share it with me. I didn't want to pry. If she didn't want to tell me what happened and why she didn't stay in school, it was none of my business.
She took a deep breath and let it out, her eyes moving upward to meet mine. She gave herself a small nod of the head and then lifted her eyes to mine, giving me a small smile.
“Well, things got complicated and went to shit after that,” she said. “But, in the end, I think it worked out.”
“Yeah? How so?” I asked.
“Well, for one thing,” she said, projecting confidence, though I could hear the slight tremor of nervousness in her voice, “I wouldn't have my daughter otherwise.”
I'd just taken a sip of my water when she said that and tried not to choke on it. Daughter? She had a daughter? “Wow, congrats,” I said. “I didn't know you had a little girl.”
She nodded. “She's four, almost five now,” she said. “Her name is Olivia.”
“Are you – ” I wasn't sure how to ask without sounding like a creep.
She'd made sure that this date was simply a get together between two old friends. Was there a reason for that, I suddenly found myself wondering?
“Am I married? God, no,” she chuckled. “Olivia's dad and I are no longer together. It was a mistake. He's – well – let's just say, he's not a good guy. We'll just leave it at that.”
I nodded. “I understand.”
“And what about you?” she asked, quickly changing the subject. “How'd you like Cal Poly?”
I took another drink of water. “I liked it a lot, actually,” I said. “It was tough having to leave.”
It seemed like ages ago, but truthfully, it really hadn't been all that long. Still, it was like another lifetime. One that I hadn't personally lived. Studying engineering at a fancy college in California on a full-ride scholarship. It had almost been too perfect – and of course it was. It all came crashing down halfway through my time there though.
“Do you ever think about going back?” she asked. “Once Emily is off to college?”
I shrugged. “I doubt I could go back to Cal Poly. But, to another college? Sure, maybe,” I said. “How about you?”
“I'm graduating with my RN next semester actually.”
That brought a smile to my face. Piper had always wanted to be a doctor. She had such a gentle, nurturing way about her, and she'd always wanted to care for others and to heal. She was a natural at taking care of other people. Nursing seemed like the perfect fit for her.
The next thing I said slipped from my mouth before I even had a chance to think about it.
“I really hope to meet your daughter one day,” I said.
Piper's eyes grew wide. “You do?”
“Of course,” I said, clearing my throat and doing my best to recover from such a horrible gaffe. “I mean, if you want me to, that is.”
“Well, I don't – I mean, I don't know what's going to happen between us, obviously, and I don't want to – ”
I leaned forward and stopped her mid-sentence by pressing my lips against hers. She hesitated, at first, but then her lips parted for me, welcoming my tongue into her mouth. I took her face in my hands and pulled her closer to me, nibbling at her lower lip. Piper sighed, a content sound, as her fingers moved through my hair.
“Oh Shane,” she whimpered against my mouth.
“Yes?” I whispered.
“I've missed you,” she said. “So much.”
Tears were falling down her cheeks, and I wiped them away as best I could.
“I missed you too, Piper,” I said. “I hated leaving you, but always hoped to be back with you someday.”
“Me too,” she said, and the tears continued to fall. She was smiling though – they were happy tears.
I leaned in for another kiss, my cock pressing hard against my slacks. God, what I wouldn't give to have the place to myself tonight, to be able to take her into my bed and show her how much I'd missed her. Before our lips touched for the second time, however, Emily's voice interrupted us.
“Shane?” she asked. “Did you forget to pay the gas bill or something?”
Fuck. I pulled my hands away from Piper's face and placed them over mine instead.
“I'll handle it, Emily.”
“We don't have any hot water and I need to shower,”
“I'm sorry, not much I can do about it tonight,” I said.
I thought I had at least a couple more days to scrape together the cash, but I'd been wrong. Obviously. Shit. I hated that happened right in front of Piper too. Nolan and Emily started shouting at each other. Emily was pissed at me, Nolan was defending me. It seemed like it was an endless cycle of arguing, no matter what I did these days.
“I think that's my cue to get going,” Piper said softly. She gave me a quick peck on my lips. “But call me. Maybe we can meet over at my place next time.”
“That would be nice,” I said.
She ran her hands through my hair as she walked through the dining room, and I stood, following behind. Her tight little ass swished in the dress as she walked, and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was stunning, every bit as beautiful as she'd been back then – if not more so.
When she glanced over her shoulder, it hit me that no, she was definitely hotter now. The new, curvier Piper was more gorgeous than I could have ever imagined. She smiled, knowing I was checking her out from behind. I just shrugged and gave her a smile.
“Call me,” she purred as she stepped through to door.
“I will.”
~ooo000ooo~
“You're sure there's nothing available?” I asked. “I mean, I'll do anything. No job is too small, right?”
I paced the living room of our shitty little apartment with the phone pressed to my ear, looking through the dirty, cracked window, to the parking lot below. More specifically, at my useless working car sitting there taunting me.
“I'm sorry, Mr. Jackson,” she replied. “We don't have anything available as of this moment. Maybe try us back in a few weeks and see if we have anything open then.”
I sighed. “Okay, thank you.”
I didn't have a few weeks – I was quickly running out of days. With the cupboards bare, the rent coming due, and the stack of bills on the table only getting thicker, things were looking bad. We'd already crossed grim and were quickly approaching dire.
Back in the day, I thought I knew what desperate was. I needed a new pair of jeans. I needed that girl's number. I needed a car. I needed things that now, with some perspective and hindsight, seem entirely frivolous. Stupid, even.
Yeah, the troubles of my youth in no way prepared me for that trials and tribulations of adulthood. Now that our parents were dead, and I was tasked with caring for two young kids – trying to keep a family together, a roof over our heads, the electricity on, and food in our bellies. – I knew what real troubles were.
Now, I knew what real desperation felt like.
I tossed my phone onto the table and let out a growl of frustration – which seemed to echo around the apartment about as loud as the growl in my belly. We didn't have much, but what we did have food-wise, I had to make sure to feed Nolan and Emily with. They came first. I'd figure out something to eat for myself later.
The problem was that I had nothing to give them for dinner. The thought of sending them to bed hungry simultaneously broke my heart and filled with a rage I knew was entirely impotent. I didn't even know who to be mad at. Should I be mad at myself for not being a better provider? At my siblings for being entirely dependent upon me for everything? My parents for dying and leaving us in this position in the first place? Who should I be mad at?
It was a shit situation that none of us had asked for. There was no way I was going to willingly send my brother and sister back into the system. I would keep doing whatever I could do to make it work. There was nothing to do but keep moving forward. One foot in front of the other.
I stood in the middle of the living room and ran my hands through my hair, letting out a long breath. My mind was spinning in a thousand different directions and I was having trouble holding on to just one thread of thought. Everything just seemed so utterly overwhelming at the moment.
As I stood there thinking, I smelled the unmistakable odor of pot. Tim. As the odor grew stronger, I thought back a couple of days to his job offer. When I'd turned him down, it was because I knew he was asking me to do something illegal. To mule drugs for him. I'd been a little self-righteous about it. Part of it was that I didn't want to be mixed up in any trouble. I didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize my family. The last thing we needed or wanted, was for me to get arrested hauling drugs and sent to jail. Nolan and Emily would end up back in the system in a heartbeat if that happened.
But, that day, I'd also been sure I'd find a new job without a problem. I'd been full of confidence. Turns out, I was only full of shit. And now, looking at an empty refrigerator, not knowing how I was going to feed two hungry kids tonight, my thinking had been forced to change a bit.
Now, I truly was at the end of my rope and desperate.
I let out another long breath and walked to the door slowly, giving myself time to think of something else. Time to think of some way out of doing what I was considering doing. By the time I'd opened the door and stepped into the hall though, nothing had come to me.
“I've got no choice,” I muttered to myself.
Closing the door behind me, I walked down the hall and came to Tim's place. His front door was open, music was playing, and the odor of pot was stronger than ever. I waved a cloud away and knocked on his door.
“Hey Tim,” I called into his place as the door swung open.
“Hey, man,” he said.
“You – uhhh – you got a minute?”
“Yeah, man,” he replied. “C'mon in.”
I stepped into his place and felt my head swimming. Good thing I hadn't gotten a job because I didn't know if I'd pass a drug test because of the contact high. Tim was reclining on his couch in nothing but a pair of black shorts. He had long, blonde hair he kept tied back in a ponytail and a full beard. He was thin, almost gaunt, and had dull green eyes and pale skin. He was kind of a greasy looking guy – the type of guy who just looks like he sits around smoking pot all day.
“What can I do for ya?” he asked, offering me a hit of his joint.
I shook my head. “Pass, but thanks, man,” I said. “Listen, the other day, you said you might have some work and wanted to know if I was interested?”
He nodded, his wide smile flashing a mouthful of yellowed teeth. “Yeah,” he said. “I remember.”
“Yeah,” I said, my stomach feeling queasy – though, I didn't know if it was from the pot or just plain nerves, “I was kind of hoping you still had some work that needs to be done?”
Grabbing the remote off his stomach, he shut off the music and sat up, his eyes more alert than I think I'd ever seen them before. They narrowed a little bit as he looked at me, and that smile of his became a little more predatory. I suddenly felt like I'd made a mistake and my brain was telling me to turn and run – though everything else in me told me to stay. That I needed to be able to feed my siblings.
“Yeah, yeah, man,” he said. “I always need good men – discreet men – to help me out with some small errands here and there.”
“Well, I think I'd be interested in it,” I said. “I kind of need some work.”
He nods as if he understood. “Yeah, it's a tough job market out there right now.”
A tough job market that's only worse in a small town like Walter, where there are only so many jobs to go around in the first place. Not that I thought Tim knew much about the job market out there to begin with, given the fact that he sold dope.
“Right,” I said. “I kind of need to make some quick cash, so I was hoping that offer still stood.”
He looked at his watch and nodded. “Yeah, you have great timing, actually,” he said. “I was just about to call another courier, but since you're here, I might as well give you a test run.”
“I just need to make a little cash until something else comes through,” I said, letting him know I wasn't in this for the long-term. “I'm still trying to find a regular job.”
Tim waved me off. “Yeah, yeah, I get it, man,” he said. “No problem.”
“So, when do I start?”
Tim let out a bark of laughter. “Eager beaver. A real go-getter,” he said. “I like that.”
I shrugged. “I've got a brother and sister to feed.”
Tim nodded, giving me a look that said he understood. I really doubted he did. He got up off the couch and walked into the bedroom. I heard him rustling around in there and a couple of minutes later, he came out holding a black backpack. He tosses it to me. It was heavier than I expected.
“Okay, before we get started, there are a couple of ground rules here,” he said.
I nodded, waiting for him to lay out the rules for me. The weight of the pack in my hands was heavy and sent an ominous chill rolling through me. I was really doing this. I was going to be a drug mule. I couldn't even believe it.
Standing there in Tim's living room, with a bag full of drugs in my hand, I gained a new understanding of the phrase, desperate times call for desperate measures.
“First, you need to make sure this bag stays with you at all times,” Tim said. “Do not leave it anywhere. Not even in your car if you stop to take a piss. This bag goes with you everywhere. It's like a part of your fuckin' being now, man.”
“Got it,” I replied.
“Second, you are to get the bag to the location within two hours of when I hand it off to you,” he said. “The customer will be waiting and watching the clock.”
“Two hours?”
Tim nodded. “That gonna be a problem?”
I think about my car sitting out back. Granted, Walter wasn't that big of a town to begin with. You could probably walk from one end to town to the other in two hours. But, it might be close.
“It could be,” I admitted. “My car's not working right now.”
A frown creased Tim's face. “Got a bike?”
I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of it sooner. Buried in the garage downstairs was my old mountain bike. I nodded.
“Yeah, I do,” I said.
“Then, you'll have no problem working in that time frame.”
“Nope,” I said. “Shouldn't be a problem at all. Anything else?”
“Yeah, one more thing,” he said. “Under no circumstances are you to open the bags I give you. None. You are to take them from me and drop them off where I tell you. Clear?”
I gave him a thumbs up. “Crystal.”
I had no desire to look into the bag in the first place. I'd be muling pot. Big deal. I mean, it would be a big deal if the cops stopped me and found out what's in the backpack. But, I'd never been in trouble and hadn't ever been on the radar of the police around here, so the likelihood of me getting stopped was probably pretty slim. To them, I'd probably just be another guy riding his bike through town, which suited me just fine.
“Okay, the last thing I'm going to need,” Tim said, “is for you to take a drug test for me.”
My mouth fell open and I stared at him, not sure I'd actually heard him correctly. There was an awkward silence between us for a moment and then Tim erupted in laughter. He laughed long and hard, doubling over and slapping his knee. A nervous chuckle escaped me, though I wasn't sure what was so funny.
“I'm kidding, man,” he said. “I'm just yanking your chain. A drug test? Seriously?”
An awkward grin touched my lips and I suddenly felt stupid for not catching on to it sooner. A drug test from a guy I was going to be muling drugs for. Yeah, great. Maybe I had to be high to appreciate the attempt at a joke. Or, maybe I was just so twisted up and high strung about what I was doing that I wasn't going to find anything funny at all.
His laughter finally faded away and he wiped at his eyes, shaking his head. “You should've seen your face, man.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Funny.”
Tim clapped his hands together. “Okay then,” he said. “Time to earn your money.”
“Speaking of that – ”
“Relax, man,” he said. “I'll take care of you. I'll make sure it's worth your while.”
“And worth the risk?”
He nodded. “Absolutely,” he said. “Trust me.”
Trust wasn't something I typically handed out all that easy. I've learned the hard way, that you can't really trust people. Especially somebody who deals in the shady side of things like Tim. But, it's not like I had a lot of options at the moment if I wanted to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.
“Okay,” I said. “Two hours.”
He handed me a slip of paper with an address written on it. “Take the bag here,” he said. “Make sure you give it to Harry – and nobody but Harry.”
“I'm on it.”
~ooo000ooo~
It was another scorcher of a day and sweat was rolling off of me in sheets. My shirt clung to me uncomfortably and I was a nervous wreck. My breath caught in my throat and my heart thundered inside of me when I cycled toward a cop, standing there, leaning against his car drinking from a bottle of water.
As I drew even with him, he eyed me up and down. Eyed me a little too closely, which made my heart thump even harder. I was sure he could hear it.
“Afternoon,” he said.
“Officer,” I replied.
“Make sure you stay hydrated, son,” he said. “It's hotter than Hades out here.”
“Will do,” I said. “Thank you, sir.”
As I cycled past, I let out a long breath of relief and wiped the sweat from my brow. It took me a little more than an hour to find the place. It was on the far side of town – the literal wrong side of the tracks. It shouldn't have surprised me that the bag was going to somebody down there. Crime and drugs were rampant in the area.
Even though I'd memorized the address, I checked the paper one more time before stopping my bike in front of a rundown house. It had once been a cornflower blue, but the paint was sun bleached and peeling. Thick bars were fastened over every window, the yard was overgrown with weeds that reached my thigh, and there were several cars in various states of disrepair in the driveway and nestled among the tall weeds.
I leaned my bike against a wooden fence that was missing more boards than it had left and wondered about the wisdom of leaving it there. After a brief second thought, and not wanting to find it gone when I got back, I wheeled it up and leaned it against the cracked, broken column that stood on the porch.
Stepping up to a thick metal security door, I fought back a wave of nervous energy, and knocked. A dog somewhere deeper in the house barked, a deep, angry sound that sent chills along my skin. The deep woofing drew closer and I started to grow even more nervous. Getting mauled by a big dog was not on my to-do list for the day.
From behind the door, I heard a man's voice yelling – probably at the dog – and the barking stopped. A moment later, the door opened and from behind the metal bars of the security door, a tall, fat man with long, greasy gray hair and a goatee stared back at me.
“The fuck you want, preppy?” he snapped.
I looked down at my jeans and black t-shirt, feeling like anything but a preppy. But, considering he was only wearing a pair of cut off blue jean shorts, his large belly hanging over the waist band, I suppose I was dressed to the nines.
“You Harry?”
His eyes narrowed, and his jaw clenched. He took a long drag of his cigarette, pinning me to my spot with a hard gaze. He didn't speak for a long moment, just blew a thick plume of smoke into my face. I exhaled, waving the cloud of smoke away and tried to not cough.
“Who's asking?” he finally said.
“Tim sent me,” I said, hacking just a little bit. “I have a delivery for Harry.”
Immediately, the man's face brightened, and he smiled, showing me a mouth full of rotting teeth – or rather, what was left of his rotting teeth. He only had three or four left.
“Well, why the fuck didn't you say so up front?” he said.
I shrugged. “New at this, I guess.”
He opened the door a crack and stuck his hand out. “Lemme have it.”
I stepped back a step and looked at him. “You are Harry, right?”
A dark look crossed his face. “You want to see my fuckin' ID, kid?”
I was a little hesitant to hand it over. The last thing I needed was to be wrong and hand the bag over to the wrong person. Given the fact that I was new at this, I didn't know Tim's regular customers – didn't know anything, really. I should have at least asked for a description before pedaling off.
“If it wouldn't be too much trouble,” I said. “Yeah, can I see some ID?”
The man gaped at me for a long moment and then started to laugh. “Fuckin' newbies,” he muttered.
He turned and walked back into the house and returned with his wallet though. He took out a driver's license and showed it to me – two years expired. But, the picture was him and the name, “Harold Raymer” was clearly visible. It was him.
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate – ”
“Great,” he cut me off. “Gimme my lunch and get the fuck outta here, newbie.”
I held up the bag and he snatched it from my hand, then slammed the door in my face. I suddenly felt really sorry for any pizza delivery guy who came by Harry's place. Walking my bike back out to the street, I climbed on and took off. Not having that albatross of a backpack around my neck felt great. I didn't have to worry about getting stopped in the street and hauled off to prison.
Now, I just had to hope Tim held up his end of the bargain and paid me well.
~ooo000ooo~
“Excellent work, Shane,” he said. “You're back in under two hours. That's got to be some sort of a record with the little shits I usually deal with. Nicely done, man.”
It felt weird being praised for doing something illegal well, but hey, given my track record with jobs lately, I took it. It meant I was going to be able to feed my family tonight. Hopefully, it meant I was going to be able to pay rent as well.
“That guy Harry,” I said, “he's – ”
“He's a fucking nutbag,” Tim said. “But, he's a good customer and always has cash, so he can be as big of a fuckin' nutbag as he wants, as far as I'm concerned.”
Tim disappeared into the bedroom and came back a few minutes later. I saw the cash in his hand and felt a surge of excitement in me. I had no idea how much he was going to give me, which, in hindsight, probably wasn't the smartest idea. I should have nailed him down to a figure before I accepted the job, b desperation makes you do stupid things.
Tim pressed a small stack of bills into my hand. “Well earned, man.”
I opened the stack and counted it out, my eyes growing a little wider with each bill. Four hundred dollars. I made four hundred dollars for not even two hours of work. I looked up at him to see if he was messing with me again.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“What, it's not enough?”
I shook my head quickly. “No, it's just more than I expected.”
He shrugged. “You run the risk out there,” he said. “You get paid. Just remember, part of that money is for your discretion and silence. You get caught, I don't fuckin' know you.”
I nodded quickly. “Yeah, I get it.”
“Seriously, man,” Tim said, his voice more serious than I'd ever heard it before. “You take that money, there's no rollin' on me. You do, you pay some serious fuckin' consequences.”
The threat sent a chill through me, but I nodded again. I looked up, held his gaze firm.
“You don't have to worry,” I said. “I'm not a rat.”
He clapped me on the shoulder, his smile wide. “Good man,” he says. “Now, go buy your brother and sister a nice meal.”
“I will,” I said.
I felt a genuine surge of excitement running through me. I was going to be able to treat them to something nice tonight. They'd been through so much, the deserved it.
“And remember, there's always more where that came from,” Tim said. “I need couriers all the time. So, you in? Can I put you at the top of my call list?”
A slight wave of trepidation surged through me. Muling drugs. Not exactly the career path I'd envisioned for myself. It was risky. Really risky. But then, was it really? I'd cruised right by a cop – was five feet from him – and he'd been none the wiser. To them, I was just some upstanding member of Walter's community on my way somewhere on my bike. They didn't know I was hauling drugs. So, how big was the risk really?
And the payoff – it seemed like a hell of a lot more than the risk I took. If I were able to do just a couple of jobs a week, we'd be sitting pretty. Or, at least, a lot prettier than we had been since our folks died. I wouldn't have to stress so hard about the bills or putting food on the table. And that's just if I did a couple of runs a week.
This was all temporary. It was just something to get us by until something better – and legal – came along. This wasn't going to be my life. It would allow me to provide for my family, but it wasn't going to be my life. I would get out the instant I could.
“Yeah,” I said. “Put me at the top of the list.”
Tim laughed and clapped me on the shoulder again. “Good man,” he said. “Good man.”
Was I though? Was I really? I was doing something wrong. Illegal.
But, at least it would allow me to take care of my family.