CHAPTER 29
KEVIN

I eyed Brooke carefully on the jet ride home. I had heard her crying the day before as I helped the kids pack upstairs. I had wanted to intervene, to pick her up in my arms and hold her closely like I had my children. I wanted to be the comfort I knew she needed during this time, but something stopped me.

For some reason, I felt like she needed that time to herself. And it was the very least I could do for her.

The closer the plane got to LAX, the more I dreaded our departure. Every single part of me wanted to ask her to stay. To ask her to come home with the kids and I and stay with us for a while. I wondered where in L.A. she lived. And if she would consider becoming our full-time nanny and staying with the kids. She could be a live-in. I’d make room for her. She could have guests and a house key and come and go as she pleased. I’d pay her handsomely. I’d pay her every penny I thought she was worth after everything we had been through.

“Sir?”

“Hmm?” I asked.

“You have a phone call,” the stewardess said.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Kevin, it’s me.”

“Sarah,” I said, as I looked over at Brooke.

The kids were asleep against her, but I couldn't tell if she was asleep or merely staring out the window.

“I was wondering if you guys were still on the island.”

“No. We’re in the air headed home,” I said.

“Oh, good. I just got back a couple of hours ago. I couldn't stay there.”

“Me neither,” I said.

“I wanted to talk with you about what I mentioned the other night,” she said.

“Can we do this another time?” I asked.

“Please, Kevin. Talk to me. Please don’t keep putting me off. I want to make amends.”

“I know you do, but I’m not prepared to talk about it right now.”

“We need to talk about it for the sake of the kids.”

“With all due respect, they have little to no idea who you are. And the last time I checked, you didn’t give us much of a choice. Why should you get one now?” I asked.

“I know what I did was wrong. I’ve been paying for it for years.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“Well, I have. And you don’t have to believe me. You can talk to my therapist if you want to.”

“Your therapist?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said, breathlessly. “My therapist. Kevin, I had serious postpartum depression.”

I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath as her admission hit me like a ton of bricks. Was she being serious? Postpartum depression? Was that the reason she’d abandoned us? Why the hell hadn’t she told me? And how the hell hadn’t I seen it?

“Kevin?”

“I’m here,” I said.

“It hasn’t been easy, and some days are still worse than others. But I want a chance at this. At reconciliation. I’m on medication that has stabilized me for over two years. I’m doing really well, and I miss my kids.”

“I can’t talk about this right now, Sarah. I haven’t even gotten them home yet,” I said.

“Kevin, please.”

“I’ll call you later.”

I hung up the phone and handed it back to my stewardess. I looked back over at Brooke and the kids, and I still couldn't tell if she was asleep or if she had overheard the whole thing.

I was hoping she had been asleep because that was the last thing I wanted her to have to deal with.

My mind was swirling with Sarah’s revelations. Was she being serious? Or was this just a way to manipulate the situation in her favor? I wasn't sure if she was capable of something like that. She was selfish, stubborn, but I’d never known her to be manipulative. Then again, I didn’t really know her. I got her pregnant on a one-night stand and it took a ring and the promise of comfort and monetary stability for her to not terminate the pregnancy.

I had no idea what the hell to believe.

The plane landed at LAX and I wasn’t ready for Brooke to leave. I woke up the kids and Brooke turned to face me, but she wasn’t as hazy-eyed with sleep as the kids were. My heart clenched in my chest. Had she been awake the entire time?

We gathered our things and descended off my jet where there were two cars stationed. One to take Brooke wherever she needed to go and another for me and the twins.

But Daniel wrapped his arms around Brooke and prevented her from moving.

“Please don’t go,” he said.

“Yeah, please stay with us. You said you would,” Sydney said.

Brooke looked up into my eyes before she dropped her bag and crouched down. She wrapped the kids tightly in her arms and I knew this was the right decision. At least for now. Brooke was too emotionally distraught from what had happened, and her body was still obviously in a lot of pain. The doctor had prescribed her some heavy pain medication before we left, but even on that she was still squinting against bright light and moving her head and neck gingerly. My kids clung to her neck and I watched her shower them with kisses, pressing them against their faces and foreheads and hands.

“Please don’t leave, Brooke,” Daniel said.

“Come watch a movie with us,” Sydney said.

“I have to go home for a little bit, okay guys?” Brooke asked. “But I promise you I’ll come visit. I have your daddy’s number, so I’ll call, and we can talk. And maybe this weekend I could come over and we can watch a movie.”

“But we want you now,” Daniel said.

“Yeah, now,” Sydney echoed.

I watched her hug my kids tightly as her eyes fluttered up to mine. She was fighting back tears, and every single part of me wanted to jump in and offer. Tell her I could employ her full-time, with all the benefits she wanted. She could commute, or move in, or whatever she wanted to do. She could write, and we could figure out exactly what we were to each other outside of all the drama of the past week. It was on the tip of my tongue, trying to force its way out, but the vibrating of the phone in my pocket pulled my eyes from hers.

I pulled it out and saw Sarah was calling. I silenced the call and sighed as Brooke pulled away from the kids. They were clinging to her, begging her to stay. I could see the hurt in her eyes as she turned to leave.

“Daddy, make her stay,” Daniel said.

“Tell her to come with us,” Sydney said.

“I can’t do that you guys,” I said. “Miss Brooke has to go home and rest.”

“She can rest with us!” Sydney exclaimed.

I gathered my angry kids in my arms and my heart broke. With everything they had been through, the one thing they wanted was something I couldn’t grant them. No amount of money could buy Brooke back for us. That much I knew. I knew her integrity, her passions, and that, at least for now, this was all for the best. I watched Brooke look back at us one last time before she ducked into the car as my phone started vibrating in my pocket again.

I gritted my teeth to keep from lashing out as her car drove away.

I felt myself breaking, helpless to fix anything as I picked my crying kids up off the ground. My chauffeur grabbed our bags and tossed them into the trunk as I settled all of us into the back of the car. My phone vibrated again on my hip and I set my kids off to the side.

Then I took my phone out and shut it off.

“I want Miss Brooke,” Daniel said.

“Me too,” Sydney repeated.

“I know kiddos. I do too, but Miss Brooke has a home too and she needs to go and rest so she can feel better.”

The sounds of Sydney’s sniffling broke my heart. The driver pulled away from the airport, leaving the horrors of Nassau Island behind us. But as I sat there in the car and listened to my children cry, I knew I was making a mistake.

I just wasn’t sure how to fix it.