CHAPTER 30
BROOKE

 

I was sitting on my couch in my shoebox apartment, gazing out the window. I was seventy-five percent done with my book. I was slowly plugging away at some freelancing jobs that had come my way since I’d been back, but it wasn’t much. Every time I opened my wallet, I stared right into the face of the credit card I’d forgotten to give back to Kevin.

Which would remind me of the check he’d forgotten to write me.

I’d deposited all the cash he gave me from my first day of watching the kids. All three thousand dollars of it. That would easily get me by for a couple of months, but I had no idea how to approach the subject of paying me for the rest of my time. I mean, I couldn’t just call him up and demand money while we were all still just trying to heal from what had happened to all of us. It didn’t seem right to be focused on money at a time like this.

Morgan thought I was being idiotic, but I knew I wasn’t.

What I was really doing was avoiding Kevin.

Avoiding thinking about how much I missed him and the kids.

My phone rang, and I picked it up. I was ready to shut down whatever idiotic piece of advice Morgan had for me now. I braced myself for the argument that would eventually ensue, but when I heard his voice on the line I felt shivers slide up my spine.

“Hello, Brooke.”

I swallowed down the sigh as goosebumps rose along the surface of my skin.

“Kevin,” I said. “How are you doing?”

“I’m good. We’re good. The kids are good. How are you? How are your, um—?”

I could feel his struggle through the phone and I wasn’t going to make him say it. The man had been through enough.

“They’re good. Fading,” I said. “My head doesn’t hurt nearly as much anymore.”

“Good. That’s really good to hear, Brooke.”

“It feels good,” I said with a giggle.

“I wanted to call you with the news I had.”

“Oh? What’s going on?”

“The Italian police caught Gianni.”

“Oh my gosh, they did? Where was he?”

“In one of his Tuscan villas out where all of the vineyards are. It was under a previous wife’s name, but they found him and arrested him, and he’ll be locked away for a long time.”

“You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that.”

“Oh, I think maybe I do,” he said with a chuckle.

I felt a warmth spread through my chest as I relaxed back into my chair at my small desk.

“How have you been since we got back?” Kevin asked.

“It’s been a process. I’ve got a bit of work I’m pounding out, but nothing special.”

“How’s that book coming along?”

“It’s about seventy-five percent there,” I said.

“That’s good. That’s a good chunk.”

“Yep. Then there’s the editing and the re-editing and the never being fully satisfied with the outcome.”

“You’re a wonderful writer. I’m sure it’ll be great,” he said.

“Thanks.”

The silence was awkward, and I wasn’t sure if it was my place to ask. I had overheard the phone conversation on the plane he’d with the children’s mother. I wanted to ask him how things were going on that front; if they were patching things up and trying to be a family again.

But part of me didn’t want to know the answer.

“The kids miss you,” Kevin said.

“They do? Well, I miss them, too. Tell them for me, okay?”

“I will. Or—”

“Or, what?” I asked.

“You could tell them yourself, if you wanted. Over dinner.”

“Dinner,” I repeated.

“Yeah. You know, that thing you eat while the sun goes down, like after your day is finished.”

“But my days never get fully finished,” I said with a grin.

“Then that thing you eat at two in the morning when you’ve been up working way too late and have neglected to nourish yourself.”

“Ah, that meal. Got it. I vaguely remember it.”

His chuckle reverberated through the phone and wrapped me in its comforting sound. But there was still that nagging voice in the back of my head.

If he was trying to fix things with the mother of his children, then my presence probably wasn’t a good thing.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” I said.

“I know. I know you’re hesitant, but it’s not for me. It’s for them. They’ve really missed you. They ask me about you every day.”

I smiled as my heart melted at his words.

“They do?” I asked.

“Oh yeah. Sydney always wants to call, and Daniel keeps trying to come up with all these dinner ideas. He thinks if he cooks for you then you’ll come over and eat.”

“Oh, if he cooks then I will definitely come over,” I said.

“If he cooks you won’t be eating anything other than a messy, soggy bowl of cereal and orange juice scraped up off the floor.”

“Well, that sounds more than wonderful,” I said with a giggle.

“It’s good to hear you laugh again, Brooke.”

“It’s good to hear your voice again, Kevin.”

I could hear it in his voice. I could hear how much he missed me and thought that maybe—just maybe—he was the one asking me to dinner, using the kids as an excuse to get me over there so he could see me again. I had to admit, the thought was nice. But I didn’t want to come between him and the mother of his children. If she really wanted to fix things, then I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. People made mistakes. Sometimes big ones. But that didn’t mean they weren’t deserving of the opportunity to right those wrongs.

I didn’t want to be the reason Kevin kept putting off fixing things.

But still—

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay, you’ll come to dinner?” Kevin asked.

“I’ll come see the kids, yes,” I said.

There was a brief pause and I held my breath to see how it would pan out.

“That’s great, Brooke. We can’t—I mean, they can’t wait to see you.”

I felt my heart jump at his response as I pushed away from my desk.

“I’ll send you my address and you can come around six?” he asked.

“Sounds good. I’ll catch a cab.”

“No need. If you send me your address I can send a car.”

“Thank would be nice, thank you. I’ll see you guys tonight. Give the kids a hug for me.”

“Trust me, I will. And they’ll hug you, too. A lot.”

And he wasn’t kidding.

I knocked on the door promptly at six and Daniel was the one to pull it open. He barreled into me and almost knocked me off balance. Sydney shot herself into my arms and I held her close, my smile making my cheeks ache it was so big.

“You came! You came!” Daniel said.

“Of course I did. I told you I would,” I said.

“I missed you, Brooke,” Sydney said.

I closed my eyes and held her close as a pair of heavy footfalls approached the door.

“Come on, kids. Let’s let Brooke get inside,” Kevin said.

I looked up into his eyes and he smiled at me.

“Hey there, Brooke.”

“Hey there, Kevin.”

Staring into his eyes made my heart skip a beat. My palms began to sweat, and my knees grew weak. I set Sydney down on her feet and the kids took off, and I stood there staring at the beautiful man in front of me, with his button-down shirt clinging to his chiseled chest, and the dark washed jeans framing his sculpted ass. He offered his hand to me and I took it as fire shot through my veins.

He helped me up the last step into the house before he closed the door behind me.

The place was massive, but I honestly didn’t expect anything less. Sydney and Daniel’s voices echoed throughout the hallways as they yelled for me to follow them. I walked through the foyer and followed the smells of a wonderful dinner cooking.

Soon, we all sat down to eat, and the kids kept talking my ear off. They told me all about how Kevin had taken off work and they were out of school all week to be with him. They told me about the games of tag they’d played in the backyard and the outdoor concerts they’d gone to. How they went swimming and jumped into a hot tub and spent a day on the beach yesterday. They were beaming from ear to ear, trying to fill me in on everything I had missed.

It felt almost like a family.

“Sounds like you guys have had a good time,” I said.

“We missed you though,” Daniel said.

“Yeah. You should come to the beach,” Sydney said.

“Well, your father might not be working, but I am,” I said.

“Speaking of,” Kevin said. “Hold on a second.”

I watched him wipe his mouth before he got up from the table.

He walked over to his wallet and pulled out a check. He walked over to me, his fingers extending the little piece of paper. Relief flooded my veins that I wouldn’t have to find an awkward way to broach the subject during our nice visit.

But when I opened the check and saw how much it was for, I balked.

“Oh no,” I said.

“I should be giving you a lot more,” Kevin said.

“No. I’m not taking this,” I said.

“You are, and you will,” he said.

“Kevin, this is way too much. No. It’s not happening.”

He took my hands in his and my eyes whipped up to his face. He was completely serious. His eyes were set in stone and his face was hardened. He was actually about to hand me eight hundred thousand dollars for watching his kids for a week.

A damn week.

“You saved my daughter,” Kevin said. “What I should pay you is easily everything I’m worth.”

“I can’t take this,” I said breathlessly.

“You will. And if it isn’t cashed within the week, I’m tracking you down and handing you another check. And I’ll keep doing it until you do cash it. That’s my promise to you.”

I looked down at the little slip of paper in my hands that held the kind of money that could change everything for me.

“I still have your credit card,” I said, breathlessly.

“You can give it back to me whenever it’s convenient. Get yourself something on it.”

“No. You’re getting it back tonight.”

“Then that’s fine, too. But cash the check, Brooke. Please. Promise me.”

I sighed and shook my head as my hands fell from his.

“Okay,” I said breathlessly. “I’ll get it deposited tomorrow.”

“Thank you,” he said.

I pulled out my purse and slipped the check into my wallet. Then I took out his credit card and handed it back to him. He was still reluctant to take it, but I made him anyway. I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to hold onto it, but I wasn’t going to take what wasn’t rightfully mine. He had already given me way too much. I helped him clean up from dinner and lay the kids down for bed, settling in with Sydney until she fell asleep.

Then I walked downstairs and found Kevin holding out a glass of wine for me.

“Got a few more minutes?” he asked.

“For wine? Always,” I said with a grin.

I plucked the glass from between his fingers and drew it to my lips.

“Can I confide in you about something?” Kevin asked.

My eyes fluttered up to him as I swallowed a sip of my wine.

“Sure,” I said. “What’s up?”

“I’m pretty sure you overheard the phone conversation I had on the plane.”

“Bits and pieces,” I said, lying.

He grinned at me as he shook his head.

“That was Sarah. The children’s mother.”

“Oh,” I said. “Is everything okay?”

“No,” he said. “She wants to try and put the family back together. To reconcile for the sake of the kids.”

It felt like he had kicked me in the gut and all the air rushed out of my lungs. I had prepared myself for this, but it still didn’t make it any easier to hear. But she was Daniel and Sydney’s mother, and if she truly wanted a place in their lives, she should have it. Who was I to stand in the way of that? Kevin and I had never defined whatever it was we had been doing on the island.

“I think that’s a great idea,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.

“You do?” he asked, a look of disappointment crossing his face.

“Children need their mothers. That loving female influence is imperative to their development.”

“I don’t think she’s cut out for motherhood, though,” he said.

“Maybe she’s changed,” I offered.

“Maybe. She says she’s been in counseling and on medication for two years. But my gut tells me she still isn’t cut out for the day to day of being a parent,” he said.

I calmed my swirling mind and took another sip of my wine as I gathered my thoughts. Kevin was confiding in me, and I didn't want to sway his opinion because of my upheaval of emotions.

“I think that if she wants to give it a shot, you can do that while still protecting the kids. I think they should get the opportunity to know their mother. You mentioned counseling?”

“Yes, she said she suffered from serious postpartum depression,” he said.

“I hear that that is very serious and can make women do things they never would otherwise,” I offered.

“Yeah, but she wanted to get rid of the kids before they were even born, so that doesn’t explain everything away,” he said.

“Are you sure she’s getting help?” I asked.

“She says she is. But I don’t know if she’s telling the truth. Maybe it’s just an emotional reaction to knowing Sydney had been taken, or maybe she just wants a shot at my money. It’s hard to know with her.”

I took a second to digest all of what he said before my eyes turned out the window. It killed me, knowing a mother who had walked out on those kids was suddenly wanting back into the picture. After such a trauma, there was the possibility that she might walk out again, that this woman would come back, realize why she left, and leave again. Only this time, they would know her, and it would undoubtedly affect them. I knew that was what Kevin was thinking. It was my fear, too.

But they weren’t my children, and I was in no position to tell him what he should do with them.

No matter how much it killed me inside.

“I think if she wants to give it a shot, then you should try. If she’s been battling something like that, then she’s been in a hell all her own. And who knows? Maybe this whole thing with the island and stuff shocked some sense into her. You never know. She could come back in and be the mother you wished she had been the first time around.”

“That’s the thing. That never should have happened in the first place,” he said.

“But you can’t hold that against her forever,” I said. “Eventually, you have to either forgive her and try this out or move on and tell her it’s not happening.”

“But you think I should do it for the kids,” he said.

“I think that if you don’t, there’s the possibility they could hold you responsible later on for not having a relationship with their mother. You’re their father, so no one is going to know better than you. But if she’s reaching out to you and asking for this, then it at least shows a willingness on her part.”

I sipped on the rest of my wine to keep myself from talking because I was even convincing myself this was a good idea.

“And that’s your honest opinion?” Kevin asked.

I swallowed down the last of my wine before I placed the glass on the table.

“Yes,” I lied. “It is.”