CHAPTER TWELVE — CONNER
“Why are we taking flowers to Alex?” Lucas asked me amused from the backseat.
From the rearview mirror, I looked at him holding a bouquet of red roses and smiled. “They’re not for Alex. They’re for Chloe.”
My son narrowed his eyes at me and laughed. In his teasing voice, she asked, “Why? Are you her boyfriend?”
I chuckled at the question. Honestly, I wanted to reply yes—which was surprising as hell to me—but after the shitty way I left things at Chloe’s office that morning I just didn’t know where we stood. Also, Lucas was a blabbermouth and could not be trusted with such information until I had a chance to talk to Chloe and figure out what to do.
Still, I couldn’t help but gauge what his reaction would be. “Would it upset you if I was?”
Lucas’ eyes widened, and his smile tripled. “I love Chloe, she’s great and funny and plays video games better than you.” He took a small pause in which I laughed at his justifiable dig at me, then added, “Also, having a mom wouldn’t suck. I like Sasha, but a nanny isn’t the same thing as a mom.”
My heart ached so much for him I almost told him the truth, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I couldn’t promise him a mother before I knew if I even had a girl anymore.
“No, it isn’t buddy,” I agreed.
There was a heavy silence in the truck for about a second, then he pressed, “So . . . Are you her boyfriend?”
I laughed. “I don’t know Lucas,” I answered honestly. Knowing a follow-up question was coming, I added, “And before you ask, I’m bringing flowers because it’s polite when visiting a lady’s home. Remember that, and all the little girls and their mothers will love you.”
“Ewww, Dad!” he protested as I pulled into Alex’s driveway.
Laughing despite my buzzing nerves, I got out of the car and walked around to open his door. No longer needing my help, he unbuckled his seatbelt, jumped out, and set off running toward his godfather who was waiting at the front door. I rolled my eyes at the boy’s endless enthusiasm, picked up the flowers and beer from the seat, and followed my son.
“These are for you,” I said after greeting my friend.
His right brow arched. “You brought me flowers?”
Once more, I rolled my eyes. “The other hand, asshole. Damn flowers are for Chloe.”
“It’s polite to bring flowers to a lady’s home,” Lucas repeated like a freaking parrot. “If you remember that, girls and their moms will love ya.”
For a second, Alex shifted his eyes from Lucas to me. Then, he started laughing and shook his head. “The things you teach that boy . . .” he muttered as took the beers from my hand and welcomed us inside. “Bumblebee is outside. C’mon.”
Although I laughed along with both of them, my heart raced as I followed Alex and Lucas though the house. They started to discuss all the bad things I had taught my son over the years. Usually, I would have protested and mocked both of them in return, but I was too preoccupied thinking of what to say to Chloe to mind them.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Alex announced as we walked through the sliding back doors.
Chloe was sitting on a bench, with her legs folded underneath her and a book in her hands. She looked beautiful in one of her flowy summer dress and a ponytail. She had just enough makeup on to make her green eyes stand out, and her lips glow with a soft pink shimmer. My heart skipped so many beats I felt a little dizzy.
I filled my lungs with air and courage to approach her, but my son beat me to the punch. He ran toward Chloe, jumped on the seat next to her and folded his arms around her neck while he babbled about his day at school. My chest grew uncommonly warm at the sight.
“Hi,” I greeted in the most pathetic tone possible. “These are for you.”
Chloe looked at the flowers in my hands, and the fake smile in her lips turned almost honest. She put her book down and finally lifted her eyes to look at me. There was a sadness in them that made me feel like scum. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and let her know everything would be alright, but I just didn’t know how to go about doing that without creating unnecessary drama.
“They’re lovely. Thanks,” Cshloe said as she reached to grab them.
As her hands curled around the stems, our fingers touched, and my body came alive as it usually did around her. My arms tingled, my stomach felt weird, and my mind got hazy. Empowered by the adrenaline rush, I opened my mouth to apologize for everything that had happened earlier, but my son’s voice repeating the bit about flowers being polite broke through the intimate bubble our contact had created and reminded me we weren’t alone.
I cleared my throat and released the bouquet as Chloe turned her attention back to my babbling boy.
“Dude, although your Dad’s lesson was on point, you don’t want to give the girl an explanation,” she started as she got up from her seat and walked backward toward the kitchen. “Just give the flowers and leave it at that. Otherwise, you’ll ruin the effect.”
Lucas laughed, got up as well, and followed her babbling about how yucky girls were and how little he wanted their attention. Jealous of my own son, I watched them until they disappeared through the door leading into the kitchen.
“It’s nice that they’re getting along together,” Alex said from the grill. For a confused moment, I raised a brow half expecting him to say something about Chloe and me, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “That boy needs the attention of a woman who isn’t paid to take care of him.”
I ran a hand through my hair as I remembered Lucas’ comment in my truck, and said, “Can’t argue with that.” Then, without thinking, I added, “Maybe I’ll get him one soon.”
With an arched brow and incredulous expression, Alex turned his face toward me. I could almost hear the question on the tip of his tongue. Luckily, before he had a chance to ask it, Chloe and Lucas returned with the roses in a vase and my son bombarded Alex with questions about his trip and the new horse he had bought.
For the next hour, the four of us sat at the table, eating burgers and talking. Actually, Lucas and Alex spoke as Chloe and I sat uncomfortably on opposite sides of the tables trying not stare at each other. The tension between us was so intense it baffled me how no one else seemed to notice it.
Once we were done eating, Chloe got up to clear the table. Lucas challenged Alex to a game of chess, and I sighed a breath of relief when my friend accepted it. Since they both knew how much I hated the tedious game, they went into the living room without even asking me to join them which finally allowed me some alone time with Chloe.
“They’re playing chess,” I informed her as I entered the kitchen with a pile of dirty dishes in my hands.
She looked over her shoulder at me from the sink and gave me the coldest, saddest smile I had ever seen on her face. “Cool, Dad loves to play, and I suck at it.”
I chuckled and nodded. “Me too, which is great because we got about ten hours to talk and I have a lot to say.”
Returning her gaze to the dishes, Chloe shook her head. “I don’t think we should talk right now.”
“C’mon Chloe,” I started in a pleading tone I had never used before. “I know I was an ass today. I should never have left like that. There was not even anything for me to think about and we both know it. You were the first woman I made a part of my son’s life since my wife died and I did that because I know how I feel about you.”
After a short pause, I continued, “I love you. I love you so much, and it scares the shit out of me Chloe.”
I took a deep breath and waited for her to look back at me at that confession, but she didn’t. She just kept her head down, and her eyes closed like she was in pain or something, and it made me desperate.
Certain that I had gone and fucked things up beyond salvation between us, I ran a hand through my hair and placed the other hand on the small of her back. She shivered at my touch but didn’t pull away, which was a good thing, I decided. With my heart pounding like crazy in my chest, I took a step closer and brought my lips close to her ear.
With as much honesty as I could input into my words, I continued, “No matter how close your Dad and I are, you’re the one I can’t live without—the one I don’t want to live without. It’s you, baby, and it will always be you. I’m going talk to him and if he can’t understand, then fuck it. At the end of the day I need you in my world.”
Those words finally made Chloe open her eyes and look at me. Her expression was still pained and there were tears in her eyes, but there was also a hint of a smile on her lips. The sight of it lifted my heart, and I pulled her closer toward me. I brought a hand to her cup her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her.
Our lips were just inches apart when a thunderous voice echoed through the kitchen. “What the fuck is going on here?”