The Girl Before Eve by Lisa J Hobman (16)

“Adders? Adders where are you?” Lily called when she arrived to find Adam’s front door unlocked. There was no reply. She made her way through the dishevelled lounge into the kitchen at the back of the house. Dirty dishes covered every surface.

An unpleasant odour assaulted her nostrils. “Fucking hell, it stinks in here, Adders. Where are you?”

She still got no response. Walking back through the lounge she made her way up the stairs. The unpleasant smell seemed to follow her wherever she dared to tread. I’ll need to have my effing clothes fumigated at this rate.

She dodged discarded shoes, socks, and other items on the stairs and made her way to Adam’s bedroom. On opening the door, her nose encountered the pungent smell of unwashed male. Delightful. Adam was lying face down on his bed, curtains drawn.

She plonked down beside him, switched on the bedside lamp, and poked him in the back. “Adders, for fuck’s sake, come on man, get up.”

He sniffed and rolled over. His eyes were puffy and his face unshaven. “Thanks for your sympathy. Now fuck off.” He covered his eyes with his arm where a fresh batch of tears sprang forth.

“Because you’re my best friend and because your wife is dead, I’m going to let you off for that. Now get up and get a shower. You stink. We’re going to go for a walk and then we’re coming back here to clean up this shit hole.”

Adam groaned. “Why do you have to be so harsh, Lil? Why do you say because your wife is dead so matter-of-factly?”

“Because, Adam, I’m sorry but it is a matter of fact. And you sitting here aiming for the most unwashed and hairy man of the year prize isn’t going to change that. People are too nervous to be straight with you. Your mum sent me round to knock some sense into you. She feels too scared to kick you up the arse in case you jump off a cliff.” She rocked his body back and forth. “I, on the other hand, know that you’re too much of a chicken to do such a thing, seeing as you’re scared of heights, and so I’m here to tell you to get the fuck out of bed, get washed, and get on with your life!” She raised her voice at him but immediately felt guilty.

She pulled his arm away from his face. “It’s been almost six weeks since the funeral. School has been back in session for two weeks now. I know you’re grieving, believe me I do. I still keep crying about it all. But there comes a point when you have to start to try to get on with life again.”

He sniffed and pointed at her. “You said there was no time limit on grief. When did that change, Lil?”

He was right. She remembered saying those very words. He sniffed again and rolled away from her and she manoeuvred around the piles of dirty clothes to sit at the other side so that he was facing her again.

Her voice softened. “I’m sorry for being so harsh. I don’t want to upset you more, Adders. I love you, and it’s hurting me to see you in so much pain.”

“Well fuck off and don’t watch then. I didn’t ask you to come here with your shit attempts at helping.”

She sighed. “No…but look around you. Is this how Eve would want you to be?”

He jabbed a finger in her direction. “Don’t you fucking do that.” He almost barked the words.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t do the whole oooh-Eve-would-want-this-and-Eve-would-want-that shit. It’s a low blow, Lily.”

She pulled in her lips to stop a harsh retort from firing out and instead she rubbed his arm. “Come on…think about it…would she want to see you like this?”

He sat bolt upright and glared at her, his bloodshot eyes boring into hers so intensely she recoiled. In his unshaven and unkempt state, he looked quite menacing.

He punched the mattress as his voice boomed around the bedroom, rattling off the walls along with the raw emotion emanating seemingly from his very being. “It’s a moot fucking point, isn’t it? Because as you so clearly and so lovingly put it SHE IS DEAD!” He placed his head in his hands as growling, angry sobs wracked his body.

Lily encircled him in her arms and bit her lip to stave off her own threatening tears. She rubbed his back as his almost palpable agony poured out.

Once his sobs had subsided he pulled away. “I’m so sorry…I’m so very sorry. I shouldn’t take it out on you.” His desolate expression made her heart ache. She wanted to take his pain away. Seeing the man she loved like this was ripping her heart to pieces.

She brushed his greasy hair off his forehead and smiled. “I’ll let you off. You are a grieving widower after all. I think you’ve got a good excuse.” Her voice was soft and just above a whisper.

His lips curled slightly and he shook his head. “You’re right, Lil. This place stinks.” He glanced around the room as if realising this for the first time. “And God, it’s such a mess.”

“Right. You go get a shower and I’ll make a wee start on downstairs. When you’re done we’re going for a walk down to the park. We’ll pick up sandwiches from Berengers, and we’ll have ourselves a wee picnic. Deal?”

Adam nodded and sniffed. “Deal.”

Lily made her way back downstairs and began to collect the empty beer cans and pizza boxes scattered around the lounge and kitchen. She found some refuse sacks under the sink and disposed of the abundance of rubbish.

Buying her own house two years before Eve’s death, as an investment, had enabled her to move out of her tiny flat, and she was fairly house-proud. Adam had always been the same when Eve was alive. Clearly now, however, cleanliness was not on his list of priorities. Eve would have been furious.

Once the floor was visible again, she got out the vacuum cleaner and swept the carpet. The place was beginning to resemble a home again as opposed to the council dump. She opened the windows and locked them on the latch to let some fresh air circulate. Already the bad smell was beginning to vacate the premises, leaving something akin to freshness in its wake.

Adam walked into the lounge where Lily sat waiting. “Bloody hell, Lil. You’ve worked wonders.”

She gazed up at the Adam she knew well. Clean shaven, fresh clothes, and washed hair. He looked wonderful, apart from the red circles around his eyes.

She stood up to hug him. “That’s better. You look like you again.”

He hugged her back. “Thanks, Lil… I think you were right about me needing a kick up the arse.”

She cringed. “Well, maybe I could have been a little more compassionate, eh?”

“Nah. You know me better than anyone. I think people have been pussyfooting around me and I’ve been letting them. Look where it led. I was becoming Jedburgh’s very first home-owning tramp.” He twitched the corner of his mouth at one side.

She giggled. “Well, I did think I’d found a dead rat under your sofa but it turned out to be some former foodstuff with a thick layer of furry fungus.”

His eyes widened. “Oh God, no?”

“Oh yes. I would’ve screamed but then you’d have laughed at me for being a big girl.”

He shook his head. “Are you kidding? I think I’d have screamed like a big girl if I’d have found it.” It was so good to see him smile again.

The pair grabbed their coats and set off out of the house for some much needed fresh air. Luckily the weather was decent and the sky was blue. The walk to the park took them straight past Berenger’s bakery. It had been a favourite of theirs for many years.

Passed down from father to son, the bakery had a traditional appearance with its dark wood windows and the little bell that jingled on entry. The aroma inside made Lily’s stomach growl loudly and the few customers in the shop all turned to look at her. Her cheeks heated and Adam burst out laughing. It was the most wonderful sound she’d heard in a long time and it warmed her heart that she had brought it out of him…well, her grumbling belly anyway.

They headed for a bench by the duck pond in the small park. He took several deep breaths as if to cleanse the stale air that had been filling his lungs for the past six weeks. A family of mum, dad, and two toddlers were there feeding the ducks with bread from a supermarket wrapper. Lily watched as the little girl kept letting go of the bread whilst it was behind her instead of throwing it forward. Her parents were giggling and trying to teach her how to throw properly. Lily smiled at the scene and wondered if she would ever find herself doing something similar.

Realising she had drifted off a little, she looked back to Adam. He was watching the same scene with tears in his eyes. Poor Adam. He and Eve had been talking about starting a family only a short while before the accident.

Lily nudged him with her shoulder. “So, when are you going back to work then? The kids must be missing you like mad. I know it’s only two weeks into the term, but…well…”

He picked at the bread at the end of his baguette and nodded. “Yeah, I really should go back soon, eh? They’ve been so great at work. But I suppose…life goes on. I just… I’m just scared of going back and seeing sympathy in the kids’ eyes. It’d tear me apart. I don’t know if I could cope with that.”

“Yes you can. And it only means they care. Those kids worship the bloody ground you walk on. They must be worried about you. And no one would be angry if you got choked up in front of them. It shows you’re human. You’re a teacher, Adders, not a robot.”

“Yes…you’re right. I miss them. I miss work. I miss…normality.”

“Well, why don’t you speak to the headteacher? Tell her that you want to come back next week, eh? It’s Monday now. You have a week to prepare.”

He looked confused. “That’s a point…it is Monday. So what the hell are you doing here? Why aren’t you at work?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, I just happen to have this friend who’s lost his wife and needs to get back on his feet again, and he won’t do it unless I’m behind him giving his arse a push.”

He smiled warmly and nudged her shoulder. “Lil…you’re the best.”

Her heart did a somersault. “Aye and don’t you forget it.”