The Girl Before Eve by Lisa J Hobman (28)

Adam hadn’t bothered to look through any more of the profiles from the dating site, despite Lily’s insistence that someone out there could be the one. Once again, he was plagued with thoughts that he’d had his one shot.

Everything had been perfect and wonderful for a while. Eve had been the real love of his life. His other half. She had been the central star in his sky. And now…if there was a heaven…she was up there shining brightly for everyone to see.

August melded into September and work was tiring but still rewarding. Coming home was still the hardest part, especially when his best friend was overseas so much. Lily loved her job passionately. She effervesced whenever she talked about it, and she was really making a name for herself. He thought it rather surreal seeing her on TV when she was so far away, off reporting something or other. But he was so proud of the fact she had succeeded in her chosen field. He just missed her. Whenever she was away he didn’t really see anyone. He would pop over to his parents’ every so often to be the dutiful son but as for friends…well…they all had their own lives that didn’t usually involve him. Lily was the only one who made the effort.

Her latest trip had taken her to Germany. He had no clue what the piece was that she was working on, but her hours were long and she was travelling around from place to place. They were communicating via email mostly, as he never seemed to catch her when he called and if he did she always had to end the call quickly.

Friday afternoon rolled around once again. The weekend. He sat on his sofa drumming his fingers on his thighs. Boredom had already set in and it was only six o’clock. He had marking that needed to be done but just couldn’t be bothered.

Grabbing his laptop he lifted the lid and logged into the dating site. God, this is the epitome of boredom and desperation. He loaded up the profiles and began to flick through.

“Too old…too young…eugh! Too skinny…sounds boring…looks like my mum…good grief is it my mum?” Adam looked closer at the screen. “No…not my mum…phew! That was weird.” He flicked through over a dozen profiles but none seemed to spark his interest.

He made the decision there and then that internet dating was simply not for him. He grabbed the local paper and thumbed through it, not really taking any notice of anything. Nothing massively newsworthy ever happened where he lived. Although he smiled at the way the local reporters made news out of the smallest things. Stories such as LOCAL ALLOTMENT OWNER, MALCOLM, STRIPPED OF ROSETTE FOR PRIZE TURNIP—allegedly for using some banned fertiliser he’d bought online. And CAT BURGLAR TURNS OUT TO BE A REAL CAT!— a story about an old woman who’d had some steaks pinched from her kitchen only to discover a sneaky stray feline was the culprit.

He turned the page and paused. There was an ad for a singles night at a local pub. Maybe meeting someone face to face would work? There would be less of the blind date about it.

Immediately he logged onto his email and opened a new message to Lily.

Hi Cheesy

So, what you been up to? I’m sitting here bored shitless on a Friday night. Couldn’t think of a single thing to do so I decided to check out some more profiles seeing as you keep badgering me. Anyway, I’ve decided to abandon the internet dating thing. But I’ve found an ad in the gazette about a singles night and thought that might be a good way to meet someone. You know, face to face. I’d like to know your opinion. It’s tomorrow night at the Stewart Hotel. Get me being all brave and suggesting this! I hope you’re suitably impressed.

Write me back asap so I know whether it’s worth it.

Adders x

Around an hour later he got his reply.

Adders…I think you will find that my name is Lily and I refuse to respond to Cheesy.

He hit reply.

Hi Lil

Sincerely sorry…so what did you think?

Adders x

P.S. You know you love me really.

He got an immediate response.

Hi again

Love you? Hmm, debatable. Anyway…yes it sounds like a good plan if you ask me…which you did! And as they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Anyway got to dash as I’m very busy and you seem to keep forgetting how extremely important I am, so stop bothering me.

Bye Pee Pants

Lily xx

Adam sniggered at her reply and the sly dig it contained. So, she thought it was a good idea, eh?

Right. That’s settled then. I’ll be a big boy and will venture out alone tomorrow to see if the future love of my life is waiting for me at the Stewart Hotel. Hmm. We’ll see, I guess.

With his resolve set he grabbed his jacket, deciding to call to the local shop and buy beer and chocolate to give him a boost. He would have a Monty Python marathon…again.

Yay…I know how to live, me.

He sighed as he walked back with his little stripy carrier bag. It was a fairly warm September Friday evening and the smell of barbecue was in the air. He and Eve used to have some great barbecues. Inhaling deeply he smiled as the smell brought memories flooding back, making tears sting the backs of his eyes.

God I miss you, Evie.

Saturday evening came around at lightning speed and before he knew it Adam was showering and shaving ready for his date with destiny. Well, ready for his night out at the Stewart Hotel anyway. He buttoned up his favourite pale green shirt and pulled on his dark blue jeans. His palms were sweaty and he was thankful his jeans were dark enough to hide the moisture he wiped down his legs. The pub was only a short walk away, and he decided to go sans jacket, thinking the cool evening air would help his profuse nervous perspiring.

On arrival he was both shocked and pleased at the number of singles in attendance. Although a second glance informed him that the men outweighed the women at about a ratio of four to one. Great. He went to the bar and ordered a pint of beer, hoping an infusion of alcohol into his bloodstream might relax him a little. Suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat into a microphone had everyone turning around toward the source of the noise.

“Good evening, ladies and gentleman. I’m Monica and I’d like to welcome you to Two’s Company Singles Night here at the Stewart Hotel.” She had a whiny, nasal voice that he guessed could be very irritating if listened to for any length of time. “Now these days many people are favouring online dating, but I say what better way is there to meet Mr. or Miss Right than face to face in a public place? Okay…so…you were all handed a little sticker on the way in, and you should’ve all written your names on them by now, so we’ll be ready to go shortly.” Adam had been tempted to write Dolf or Arnie on his sticker in case he met lots of weirdos. But in the end he had caved and written his real name.

“Now, there are a few ground rules. Well, I say ground rules…I suppose they’re more like ground suggestions.” Yeah coz that’s a thing, Adam snorted derisively to himself. “We prefer that if you connect with someone of interest that you swap email addresses or mobile numbers. We do not condone anyone pairing off and leaving together on the first meeting. Obviously, if you choose to do so Two’s Company will accept no responsibility for any incident that occurs outside the premises.” Yeah, like if the person you cop off with turns out to be an axe-wielding maniac. Why am I even here? “So, mingle, chat, and see where the night takes you. Enjoy and remember Two really is company.” As opposed to a threesome, eh?

Adam’s negative subconscious was clearly in full flight tonight. It didn’t bode well. Monica handed the microphone back to the bartender and began to walk around with a clipboard.

Adam stood there awkwardly contemplating ripping off his name badge and running for the hills, but that would mean the waste of a perfectly good pint of beer. He leaned against the post in the middle of the room and watched as everyone else seemed to make a beeline for someone. He cringed at how many medallions and hairy chests were on show and thought that perhaps a well-known manufacturer of hair product had gone into meltdown on account of having no stock left.

Another scan of the room and his eyes fell on a pretty woman who seemed to be feeling as out of place as Adam. She stood there in the corner, chewing her lip and fiddling with the strap on her bag. She looked up and made eye contact, and her cheeks blushed crimson as a slow smile spread across her face. Taking a deep breath he made his way over to talk to her.

He arrived home around an hour after chatting with Jessica. He decided that he felt too uncomfortable to be there and made excuses to leave but not before getting her email address. Once he arrived home he emailed Lily.

Hi, Lil

Well, I went to the singles night thing. Only stayed an hour though as I couldn’t hack it. It was a bit like a meat market. I did meet someone though! She’s called Jessica and she’s a nursery nurse. She has long, wavy auburn hair and green eyes. Quite pretty really. She likes boy bands but I can let that go. She has a cat but only one! She’s around five feet four and quite petite. I have her email address. What do you think? Should I give it a shot?

Write me back soon so I know what to do, eh?

Adders x

Around an hour later, after finishing off the huge bar of chocolate he’d bought the night before, he got a reply.

Hi Pee pants!

You did well to say you didn’t stay long! She sounds normal. Not sure she is your type but hey, what do I know? Drop Polly Pocket an email and see where it goes from there.

Lily x

Okay, so for some reason Lily didn’t think that this Jessica girl was his type. Well, he would email her anyway. What could it hurt? He opened up his email account and paused. He briefly considered doing a quick copy and paste of the email he had sent to Mallory but felt that Mallory was too nice to do that to. His email to her would remain unique. So he opened a new message.

Dear Jessica

It was very nice to meet you at the Stewart Hotel tonight. I’m so sorry for dashing off like that. I can only hope that you weren’t swept off your feet by some other dashing hunk after I’d gone. That’s not to say that I think I’m a dashing hunk. Nor do I intend to sound mean in hoping you didn’t meet anyone else. Anyway I digress. You said that you are based on the outskirts of Edinburgh. That’s quite handy as I’m near Jedburgh. Perhaps we could meet in Edinburgh for drinks or a meal?

Anyway, a little about myself, seeing as we didn’t get much chance to chat. I am almost thirty-one and teach English in high school. I love my job and the kids are great. You obviously like kids too as you work in a nursery. I’ll bet that can be exhausting but rewarding all at the same time.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Do email back if you would like to meet up.

Cheers

Adam

He clicked send and then opened the message up to re-read it. God I sound dull as fucking ditch water. Wouldn’t blame her if she falls asleep before she gets through the first paragraph. Oh well. As Lil said, nothing ventured…blah, blah, blah.

He watched TV for a while and had a bottle of beer. He bounced his knee up and down and kept glancing at his laptop as if Jessica would jump right out of it. After about forty minutes, impatience got the better of him, and he opened his email account again, just in case. There was a reply! Before he plucked up the courage to open it, he went to the kitchen and put a frozen pizza in the oven. Then, deciding he could put it off no longer he opened up the message.

Dear Adam

Thank you for your email. It was a pleasant surprise to receive it and it was nice to meet you too. I am on the outskirts of Edinburgh, so perhaps we could meet at a restaurant at Straiton? It would be nice to meet you properly. I left not long after you did, as I felt very much like a fish out of water, if the truth be told.

Are you free tomorrow evening? I know it’s short notice, but I’m due to go on a girl’s holiday next weekend and will be spending next week preparing, getting a spray tan, packing, etc.

Shall we say half seven outside Benito’s? It shouldn’t be too busy on a Sunday evening. Hopefully I will recognise you from our brief meeting. Unless I was tipsier than I realised and you really are in actual fact a fat, balding sixty-year-old! Gosh…I hope I remembered you correctly!

Anyway, I’ll await your next email and I’ll hopefully see you tomorrow.

Jess x

A smell of burning wafted through the air, and he dashed into the kitchen to check his pizza. Realising that the burning smell was just some dripped cheese, he took a large swig of his beer. Shit! That’s quick! Tomorrow? Better email Lil. He dashed back into the lounge and clicked to open a new message.

Hi Lil

Guess what? She replied! The Jessica one I mean. She wants to meet tomorrow! Aarrgh! What should I do? Should I go? If so, what do you think I should wear? She has suggested Benito’s at Straiton, so it’s casual dress normally. Shit, I wish you were here to advise me. Not sure I can do this without your help, Lil!

Adders xx

He knew she wouldn’t respond right away and it bothered him. He couldn’t leave Jessica hanging in the air wondering if he wanted to meet. He reread her email and decided to take the plunge.

Hi Jess

Thanks for getting back to me so quick. I would love to meet you at Benito’s tomorrow night, yes. Seven thirty it is. I’ll be the short fat balding man ;-) Only kidding.

See you tomorrow.

Adam

Nervously munching on his pizza, he slipped in Monty Python’s Life of Brian and sat back on the sofa. He couldn’t concentrate. He kept glancing at the laptop screen waiting for at least one of the girls to reply to his email. Lil was probably out getting drunk with Mack the camera man and Jess…well maybe Jess was picking outfits for her girl’s holiday. His email pinged to tell him a new message had arrived.

Lily.

Adders

Just bloody email her and set it up! You dufus! You don’t need me there to do this, Adam. You are a grown man! Accept it and embrace it. She sounds nice. Wear your jeans and your navy shirt with a white T-shirt underneath. You always look nice in that outfit. But seriously you will be fine! BTW try to remember her name!

Lily xx

Next came a confirmation from Jessica. She would be there. Seven thirty. Tomorrow. Adam wondered if he had made the right decision.

Only time will tell, I guess.

On Sunday evening, he donned the outfit Lily had suggested and set off. He arrived at Straiton ten minutes early and sat in the car feeling rather conspicuous. People walked past him whilst he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and kept checking his watch. One of these days, he would replace the broken dashboard clock.

He glanced over at Benito’s and saw a small-framed woman standing outside. That’s her. He remembered thinking she was pretty the night before, but twenty-four hours was a long time. He couldn’t tell a lot from where he was, but his stomach lurched at the thought of the night being crap and not having Lily here to rescue him. He should’ve arranged for her to ring him with a get out. But then again, she was busy in Germany.

He climbed out of his car and made his way toward the woman. She was rather tiny, he’d forgotten just how tiny.

She smiled when she saw him approaching and pointed at him questioningly. “Adam?”

He smiled at her as warmly as he could manage. “Jessica.”

She held out her hand to him. “Please…call me Jess. All my friends do.”

He shook her hand. “You can still call me Adam…my friends call me it because well…it’s quite hard to shorten Adam… I’ll stop talking now.” Heat rushed to his cheeks. Fucking knob. Jessica seemed to be trying her best not to giggle at him. She was very pretty and he liked her instantly.

Clearing his throat, he opened the door for her. “So, are we eating or just having coffee or something, seeing as we’re both driving?”

“Well, I’m starving, so food is good.”

He smiled. She must not find me repugnant then. Good start. “Great. I’m hungry, too. I only had a pastry for lunch.”

“At least you had lunch! I only managed a cup of coffee.”

They stood in the doorway waiting to be seated. “How come?”

“Oh, I’ve been helping my sister move into a flat with her boyfriend today.”

“Right…right…how old is your sister?”

“She’s twenty-one. But they were childhood sweethearts so…”

They were shown to a secluded, romantic table towards the back of the restaurant. He pulled out her chair and she thanked him, smiling sweetly. The waiter came over and reeled off a list of specials and handed them menus and a wine list. They both shook their heads at the wine list.

Adam liked that.