The Girl Before Eve by Lisa J Hobman (38)

Being back in the UK was a strain. This permanent change didn’t sit well with Lily. Okay, so she was a little traumatised from the situation she had found herself in whilst in Florida, but what do they say? You have to get straight back on the horse. Unfortunately, that horse had been allocated a new rider. Her bosses just didn’t feel she could cope with being out there again. Who were they to make such a life changing decision for her without consultation?

The only marginally good thing was that she got to spend more time with Adam. Sadly, that was a double-edged sword that might just finish her off better than the hurricane’s attempts. She was tired of setting him up and helping him get ready for dates—emotionally drained in fact. Surely, he was capable of finding his own suitable clothing? She had started this whole thing off with the best intentions, but as always, her intentions had backfired.

This latest woman, however, was a tad different. She was, to all intents and purposes, perfect for him. Blonde (just his type), pretty (from the photo on his phone that he had shown her), intelligent (ran a business training school), and slim. This was his third date with her. Yes. Third. He was, as ever, nervous as hell, he told her on the phone. He had begged Lily to come over and help him get ready. Tonight, it was the last thing she wanted to do. He was a grown man for goodness sake.

She finished off the last dregs of her cold coffee and climbed into the shower. Having been for a jog to try and clear her head, the last thing she needed was to go around to Adam’s stinking and give him yet another reason not to love her.

No, this was it. This was the last time. She was thirty-one years old.

Time to let go.

She let the hot water cascade over her body and face as the tears came. She had spent so much of her life in love with this man. This wonderful, protective, handsome, sensitive, caring man. But she had to let go now. She had suffered in silence for far too long. Never having the right opportunity to tell him how she felt. Not that it would make any difference. She would always be Lil—the best friend. Family. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

Enough was enough.

Solemnly, she dressed in her favourite jeans and sweater. Applied a little makeup and did her best to tame her wild brunette curls. With a sigh, she climbed into the car and headed for Adam’s house. The bare chested man opened the door before she had a chance to knock.

She stifled a gasp. His body never ceased to affect her. “Someone’s eager.” She tried to smile.

“Oh God, Lil, thank goodness you’re here. I’m a wreck!” He panted as he stepped by to let her in. “I’ve tried on five different shirts and three different pairs of trousers.” He ran his hand through his luscious, thick dark hair.

Her chest ached.

She forced a smile. “Good grief, you’re such a girl, Adders.”

“I am…I am, aren’t I? Oh shit, Lil. She could be the one and I’m acting like a teenage fucking girl.” He paced the room.

The one? “Look just calm down, okay? So she’s perfect…but so are you.” Lily bit her lip.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m perfect alright. I’m sweating like a pig, I have emotional baggage, and I crumble under pressure. Perfect!” He threw his hands up, clearly exasperated.

Sighing and rolling her eyes as she always did, she walked over to the wardrobe door where all the shirts were waiting like washing hung untidily out to dry.

“This is your third date, Adders. You haven’t put her off yet, so there’s no reason you will now. Right, where are you going?”

“I’m taking her to Bella Roma. It’s quite a nice place but not exactly posh as such.”

Lily had only been once with a date. It was rather lovely. She remembered the owner was a sweet Italian man called Arlo.

She placed her hands on her hips. “Okay. You won’t need a tie and you can wear jeans.” She held a pair out to him. “These are the ones that make your backside look… I mean…erm…that…erm…these are the best ones.” Her stomach did somersaults at her almost-slip-up.

He scrunched his face and then shook his head. “Okay…okay…shirt?” He ragged his joggers off and stood there in just his boxers.

She tried to avert her eyes. But God, he really was perfect. In every possible way. She gulped as she felt the sting in her eyes. She would have to tell him soon. Tell him that she could no longer do this. That he was on his own. He had overcome his grief with her help, but he had to go it alone now. She bit the inside of her lip.

“Lil? You okay?”

She glanced up at the beautiful, half naked man whose brow was creased in concern and just nodded, unable to form words.

After a few moments she inhaled a long, calming breath. “Right…shirt. Well, personally I’ve always liked the pale blue one with the button down collar. It’s…you look…it makes you look…a little less repugnant.” She teased in the way she always had but didn’t really feel the joke.

He grabbed the shirt and slipped it on his muscular torso. “Gee thanks, Lil. With friends like you…” His sculpted back muscles flexed as he moved and she swallowed hard again and turned away.

He turned around on the spot in his bedroom. “Okay…will I do?”

She couldn’t help but smile. He looked stunning. This Emily woman would fall for him tonight, if she hadn’t already, and that would be it. The end.

Taking a deep breath she stood before him and put her hands on his arms. “Adders, she’d be crazy not to fall head over heels in love with you right then and there.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

He locked his gaze on hers and unreadable emotions flashed across his face. She dropped her arms but kept her eyes focused on his, willing him to see the truth. But instead he shook his head as if to rid himself of confusion or something.

He cleared his throat and said, “Aww, thanks, Lil. You’re such a…wonderful friend.”

She bit down harder on the inside of her lip. “And don’t you forget it.” Repeating her well-used phrase, she punched him lightly on the arm. She went back over to the bed and sat down.

He paced again. “I’m scared shitless though. Tonight might be…you know…the night.” He chewed on his thumb. “She’s made it very clear that she wants me. But…it’s been so long, you know?”

Lily’s heart sank. The last shred of hope left her body. Once he made love to Emily that was it. No going back. She wouldn’t let him go and who could blame her.

Finding a little courage from somewhere, Lily took a deep breath. “Look, Adders…I need to tell you something… I may struggle to get the words out, so just let me speak, okay?”

He sat beside her, a furrow of concern to his brow once again. “Sure…anything…what’s up, Lil? Are you…are you alright?”

She nodded. “I’m…yes I’m fine…it’s just that… I can’t do this anymore…this…this—”

Adam’s phone interrupted them.

He glanced at the caller ID. “Oh God, it’s Emily. What if she’s cancelling? I should take this.” He winced in apology but Lily just smiled and nodded. He gave her the thumbs up before answering. “Hey, Emily…how are you?... Yes…ahuh… oh right…that’s fine…no problems… I’m looking forward to seeing you again, too.” Lily stood. Feeling that the moment had passed, she walked toward the door but Adam’s voice stopped her. “One sec, Emily… Lily? Hey, Lily where’re you going?”

She turned and smiled at him as breezily as she could. “Don’t worry…we’ll talk later. Have fun tonight…and…good luck, eh? Let’s hope she’s the one.” She turned and walked down the stairs as she heard Adam continue his enthusiastic conversation.

By the time she reached the car, Lily’s tears were relentless and she felt like someone had reached in and pulled out the very heart of her. Well, what was left of it anyway.

There had been no closure like she’d hoped. But she had to make her own closure now. She had to let go. Finally. He would never love her back. Not in that way. Not in the way he had loved Eve. Not that she wanted to replace her friend in his affections. No, she just wanted him to love her in a way that wasn’t just friendship.

She took a deep breath and opened the car door. She wiped the tears from her eyes and stood for a moment with her head hung down, trying to compose her emotions and willing herself not to look back. She couldn’t look back. She would just get into the car and go home, drawing a line under everything.

He would get the message eventually.

Adam finished his call to Emily. The plans had changed. She had asked if she could meet him at the restaurant instead. That was fine. He was ready now, thanks to Lily.

Oh God Lil, she had wanted to talk!

He rushed to the window and looked down onto the street. Lily stood by her car looking at the ground and leaning on the open door. Her shoulders were shuddering. What was she laughing at? She wiped her eyes. No, she wasn’t laughing. She was crying about something. He was about to go after her when without looking back she climbed into her car and drove away.

Lily never cried. Well not often. She was a tough cookie. Checking his watch, he realised he would have to set off and wouldn’t have a chance to check on her until probably tomorrow. After all, he would no doubt be back too late tonight—if he came home at all.

He sat on his bed to pull his suede boots on. The conversation with Lily played over in his mind along with the images of her face. Her expression had been…lost…resigned even. But about what? It didn’t make any sense. He remembered her saying she couldn’t do…something anymore. What could she not do anymore? Visit and help him pick out clothes? She’d always done that. Boost his confidence? She’d always done that. Help him find a woman to share his life with? It had been her idea…

He thought back through what had been said again, trying to decipher the clues, if there were any. She sounds perfect…but so are you…she would be crazy not to fall in love with you right then and there…

He remembered back to other conversations they had shared. The look on her face when he had told her he was getting married to Eve; the way she always came running no matter what; that moment all those years ago when they had been playing tennis as teenagers. That particular incident had always stuck in his mind. How different things could have been if he hadn’t been such a coward back then. Although she probably would’ve slapped him if he’d done what he wanted to do and he would’ve lost her.

He swallowed hard and rubbed his hands over his face, then grabbed his jacket and keys and made his way down to the car.

Women. A total fucking mystery to me.