THERE WERE MANY things in life that I was unsure about, but the one thing I was sure of was that Theo Fairweather would never tell me what he’d said (or threatened, I guess) to Gregory Rochester to convince him to let Finn go live with his grandparents.
What I did know was that Finn’s dad let him go but refused to back down on the money situation.
“Then what will he do?” I’d said as we piled Finn’s suitcases into the pool house where he’d stay for a few days before he got on a flight to Florida.
“I don’t want you to worry about college,” Theo had said to him. “You’re covered. I’ve already spoken to your grandparents.”
“How?” Finn said. He looked so exhausted and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him.
Theo gave him this no-nonsense, don’t-even-think-about-arguing-with-me look. “I will pay your tuition.”
“No!” Finn shot to his feet. “No way, I’m not a charity case.”
“Of course not,” Theo said. “You’re Kelsey Monaghan’s son. I held you when you were a baby and I’ve watched you grow up into a smart, talented young man. You’re like a son to me, Finn, and I will not see your future ruined because of your father.”
Finn blinked in surprise and I watched as that surprise turned to emotion. The muscles in his jaw flexed as he tried to fight it. “Sir, I don’t know...”
“Just say thank you.” Theo held out his hand to him with a smile.
They shook hands, and Theo clapped him on the shoulder, and all the while I watched a silent conversation pass between them. Watching them together I realized if Theo had known about Finn’s situation long ago he would have saved him, just like he was saving him now. But what really made the breath catch in my throat was that I believed, really believed, that if Theo had been around when I lived with my dad, he was the kind of person who would have stepped in to save me, too.
Once Theo had left us alone in the pool house we stared at each other.
Suddenly it came crashing down on me that we only had a few days left together. Finn’s grandparents were devastated to hear the truth and quite rightly desperate to have Finn come stay with them where he’d be safe. He’d been withdrawn from Tobias Rochester, and they’d enrolled him in a good (but tuition free) school a five-minute walk from their beach house.
I felt a little breathless at the idea of not seeing him every day.
“You want a soda?” I said, desperate to find a distraction, any distraction.
He looked a little confused by the question in light of the heavy atmosphere, but nodded. “Sure.”
I hurried toward the door.
“Aren’t there any in the kitchen here?” Finn called after me.
“We’re out.” I didn’t know if we were out of soda in the pool house. I just needed a momentary breather from the tension between us. I knew I had done the right thing for Finn and I knew one day he, too, would fully come to understand that.
It didn’t mean the sacrifice didn’t hurt like hell.
I strolled into the house, coming to a stop when I saw Hayley watching television in the family room.
“Hey, sweetie.” She looked up at me. “Finn getting settled in okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just getting him a soda.”
“Gretchen made some brownies. Take him a few.”
“Okay.” I moved to leave and then thought better of it. “Hayley.”
“Yeah?” She glanced back up from what looked like a soap opera. My silence drew her focus completely away from the screen, and once I knew I had her full attention I said something I never thought I’d hear myself say.
“He’s kind of awesome.”
It took her a moment and then a slow smile lit up her face as she worked out which he I was talking about. “Yeah,” she whispered. “He kind of is.”
Theo wasn’t perfect. Of course he wasn’t. Elle wouldn’t be so scared to be herself with her dad if he was. The test would be when Eloise’s truth was revealed. Would he be a hero to his daughter the way he had been to Finn and me?
I believed, deep down, he was the kind of man who would get over himself for Eloise.
“I’m happy for you,” I told Hayley.
And you know what the great thing was?
I finally meant it.
* * *
“You need to talk to Finn.”
I looked up from my ereader and the romance novel that I was attempting to read. I’d been reading the same page for the last ten minutes.
Eloise stood in my doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. “He’s down there in the pool house, confused, relieved, probably scared, but mostly brokenhearted because the girl he’s in love with organized his departure from the state and now refuses to be alone with him.”
I dropped my ereader to scowl at her. “Do you think this is easy for me?”
“No. I think it’s incredibly hard and I think what you did for him makes you the strongest person I know.” She gave me a sad, guilty look. “I can’t believe I didn’t know what was going on with him. But you did. You caught it. He told me all about it. And, India...that’s just one more thing in my life I have you to be thankful for.”
“You don’t need to thank me, Elle.”
“But I do. Because you saved him. And he’s my best friend.” Her mouth trembled with emotion, and she shook herself as if to shake it off. “I have cried buckets recently and I refuse to do any more crying. You need to go down there. I know it’s hard. But keep being strong. You’re the girl who somehow managed to fix everything without anyone ever finding out that I’m gay. I think you can handle going down to the pool house to make out with your boyfriend.”
I snorted. “When you put it like that...I guess so.”
* * *
Finn was lying on the sofa bed, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling light, when I stepped inside. He looked at me. “She appears,” he murmured.
I hurried over to him and got onto the bed beside him. He immediately moved one of his arms to put it around me, and I snuggled into his chest. “I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not... I just...do you feel like I railroaded you into this?”
His silence began to make me panic, but just as I was about to freak out, he spoke. “No. If I really didn’t want to I wouldn’t be going to Florida. I heard what you said, India, and you were right. I’m worried about leaving Boston, my friends, my life... I’m terrified to leave you and have things not work out between us...but the biggest thing I feel right now is relief.”
I relaxed deeper into him. “I’m glad.”
“He’s out of my life. I feel like there is this weight off me I didn’t even realize I was carrying. I almost don’t know what to do with myself—I feel so much lighter, like I might just take off and start floating around. I guess I just need to find myself on new ground.”
“Exactly. And it’s scary in itself but, Finn, it’ll be so worth the fear.”
“Yeah.”
I heard the anxiety in that one word. “It doesn’t mean you won’t miss it here. I know that.” I kissed his chest. “What will you miss the most?”
“You.”
I smiled. “I know that, too. Other than me?”
“Elle, Josh and Gabe. My crew. Although they’re pretty pissed I’m leaving so I don’t know how much they’ll miss me. And I’ll miss all the main stuff—Fenway, the burgers at the Bristol Lounge, Cafe 939, Mike’s Pastries, Maggie’s Diner.” He stroked my arm lightly. “You,” he repeated.
“You and I will be okay. And I’ll send you boxes of goodies from Mike’s Pastries.”
“What makes you so strong, India?”
I thought about it, how not too long ago I’d thought I was strong but the truth was I hadn’t been...not until recently. What I’d told Finn was true. When I realized my father would never be able to hurt me again I’d felt the relief of being free. But somehow over the years I’d built a new prison out of my fears of being hurt. I’d taken my own freedom away. Until Massachusetts. “You. Elle. Anna. Maybe even Hayley and Theo. We’ll see about those two,” I joked.
We were silent awhile as we lay together, just enjoying each other’s warmth.
Finn’s voice broke the quiet but barely, it was so low. “Whatever happens, I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.”
My eyes stung, and I pressed my cheek into his chest. “Back at you, Finn.”
* * *
I thought the worst thing that could happen the next day when I woke up was to remember that Finn was leaving the next morning.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
I was shaken awake by a hysterical Eloise.
“What, what, what is it?” I swatted at her drowsily.
“India, wake up now,” she said, her voice frantic.
I pried my eyes open. “What?” A horrible thought hit me and I sat up, almost slamming my face into hers. “Did Finn leave already?”
“No.” She pushed her hair off her face and I saw her cheeks were wet, her eyes red, and there was nothing short of horror in them.
“Elle.” I felt my heart slam against my ribs at the sight of her. “What’s going on?”
She shoved her phone at me.
I took it, blinking until my vision cleared, and what I saw made my blood turn cold.
Eloise’s Twitter stream was full of tweets about her from our classmates.
Tweets about her being gay.
I looked up at her. “How?”
More tears slipped down her cheeks as she took the phone back, pressed some buttons and then handed it back to me.
Bryce: I thought we were friends.
Eloise: We are friends. Are you drunk?
Bryce: I came over last night to see what was going on with Finn. I overheard you telling HER that you were gay. HER. Really? You tell HER your biggest secret. Well, guess what...secret’s out.
Eloise: Oh God, what did you do?
I’d suspected all along that Bryce was jealous of my friendship with Eloise, but despite how mean I knew that girl could be, I didn’t think she’d take her envy and use it as a weapon, let alone that the blood she’d spill would be Elle’s.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered.
I looked up from the phone and told her something I knew was the last thing she wanted to hear. “You need to tell your dad the truth before he finds out from someone else.”
Her chest began to rise and fall in a fast, sharp rhythm.
“It’s okay.” I pushed my duvet off me. “I’ll come with you. If you want?”
Elle nodded before expelling a long, shaky breath. “How do I do this? I’ve thought about telling him a million times but right now my mind is just blank.”
“Let’s just sit him down, and we’ll see how it goes from there.”
I pulled on a robe and directed a reluctant Eloise out of my room and down the hallway. We walked past her room, following the wide corridor around the house until we got to the other side where Theo and Hayley’s huge bedroom suite was.
Just as I raised my hand to knock on the door, Elle grabbed my wrist.
I looked at her and read the fear in her eyes.
Whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.
Her grip relaxed and she let me go. She nodded even though she looked ten seconds away from upchucking.
I rattled my knuckles against our parents’ door.
At the silence beyond it, I rapped harder. “Theo! Hayley!”
That seemed to do the trick as we heard soft sounds beyond the doors. A few seconds later one of the double doors swung open, and Theo stood in silk pajamas, squinting at us, his face creased with sleep. “Girls, what is it?” He yawned. “Everything all right?”
“No. Um... Eloise needs to talk to you. Downstairs. Back sitting room. Now.”
Suddenly more alert, Theo’s attention moved to his daughter. He immediately paled at her complexion. “Please tell me you’re not pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant, Daddy. I’m gay.”
I was physically jolted by her abrupt announcement and I swung my eyes from her to her father.
He stared at her, confused. “What?”
Elle’s lips started to tremble. “I’m gay.”
Hayley appeared beside Theo, her eyes on Eloise, her own face pale. She’d obviously heard. “Uh...sweetheart, why don’t we take this downstairs...”
“I don’t understand,” Theo huffed. “Is this a joke?”
“No.” She shook her head frantically. “I wasn’t just covering for Finn by dating him. He was covering for me. I’ve been too afraid to tell you and everyone else the truth. I’m gay. I’m gay, Daddy. I’m gay.”
“Stop saying that!” he yelled, throwing his hands up in disbelief.
“Why?” Elle began to cry. “Because you think it’s a dirty word?”
“How...what... I don’t know what’s going on?” He looked to me as if for answers.
Eloise’s “throw him into the deep end” strategy hadn’t worked. Perhaps I should have coached her before we did this. “Bryce found out last night. She overheard Elle and me talking. She’s told everyone. It’s all over social media. Eloise wanted you to find out from her, not from someone else.”
Theo looked horrified, which was probably the reaction Elle had been fearing since she was thirteen. He stared at her, wide-eyed, like he’d never seen her before.
And then that’s when Elle started to tell him her story—everything that she’d told me, about her tutor, about her fears about her mom and her uncle, how she thought it would have made her mom feel about her, how much that hurt and scared her... “So Finn and I thought we could help each other out,” she said, her voice shaking so much I wanted to grab her hand. “We agreed to pretend to be in a relationship to keep his dad off his back and to protect me from anyone finding out that I was gay. To protect me from you finding out I was gay.
“I love you more than anyone in this world and I know how you are. I’m terrified—” she began to visibly tremble now “—terrified of losing you over this. But I’m still me, Daddy. I’m still Eloise. Please.”
I’d never been as proud of anyone in my life as I was right then. Hayley was crying quietly beside Theo. Her tears had started as soon as Elle mentioned how she wanted to die when she first realized the truth about herself. She’d never told me that before. I wanted to cry, too, hearing it.
There was nothing but kindness and compassion in Hayley’s expression and I could only hope that her feelings would help Theo come to accept the truth about his daughter.
My hope was shattered into smithereens when he shook his head and dropped his eyes. “I can’t,” he said hoarsely. “I can’t even...” He sucked in a huge breath of air and then turned around, pulling away from Hayley’s touch as she reached for him.
“Theo!” she called as he stormed into their room and disappeared into their bathroom. The door slammed shut in his wake.
Eloise stared into the room.
If someone wanted to paint heartbreak, they need look no further than my stepsister’s face.
“Oh, sweetie,” Hayley breathed, and she reached for her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
Elle’s arms dangled at her sides as she continued to stare after her father like the whole world had just come crashing down.