“Baby?” I gently placed my hand on Silas’s chest.
He stopped whipping his head back and forth on the pillow and shot straight up in bed. His eyes remained blank for a moment until he blinked and cleared the fog of sleep. Rubbing his hands over his face, he muttered, “Fuck.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” Throwing the comforter aside, he swung his legs to the floor and went downstairs. When he disappeared from my sight, I listened to his footsteps pad through the living room and into the bathroom. I fell back into bed at the sound of the shower’s spray.
This had been his fifth nightmare in a week.
I glanced at the clock and cringed. It was just after five in the morning. There was no use trying to go back to sleep so I slipped out of bed and shrugged on some gray leggings and a plum hoodie.
By the time Silas emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, I had the coffee made and was nearly done with our oatmeal. “Do you want raisins?”
“Fine,” he muttered and went upstairs to dress.
He joined me at the bar and we ate in silence. It had been nearly a week since Sabrina’s dramatic appearance, and all but one morning had been like this. The nightmares had started two days after she’d gone into the mountains with Beau.
I had no clue what he was dealing with, but something about her visit had triggered the nightmares. Was it memories from his time in the army? I could only venture to guess. Every time I had asked, he’d locked down and shut me out.
“Thanks for breakfast.” He placed his bowl in the dishwasher. “I’m going to head out. Get an early start on fencing.”
“Okay. I don’t have anything going on today. Can I help?”
“You don’t need to do that.” He barely kissed the top of my head as he walked toward the door.
Fuck this. “Stop.”
“What?”
I hopped off my stool and met him in the hall. He spun around and didn’t try to hide his annoyance that I’d hindered his escape. I mirrored his stance, fisting my hands on my hips.
“I said stop. You don’t get to keep closing me out, Silas. Something is wrong and if you don’t want to talk about it, fine. But avoiding me and spending all day wearing yourself out until you’re utterly exhausted? That’s not working either.”
“I’m not avoiding you.” He started to turn but I grabbed his arm and held him back.
“Do not lie to me.”
His annoyance vanished. “Shit. I’m sorry.” He stepped into my space and pulled me in for a hug. “I’m in a bad mood and didn’t want to make you deal with it.”
“You are always there to cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood. Don’t take away my chance to do the same for you.”
His cheek pressed against my hair. “You’re right.”
“I know.”
He chuckled and let me go. “Is your offer to help me with the fencing still on the table?”
“It’s going to cost you.”
“I’m willing to pay. What’s the price?”
I smiled. “You have to watch Top Gun with me tonight.”
He smiled back and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. “Deal.”
“And you have to find someone to talk to about what’s bothering you.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see.”
It wasn’t a yes but I hadn’t really expected one. Silas buried his demons. He let their bad juju fester and grow until he couldn’t keep them locked down anymore and they let loose his roaring temper. I considered it a personal miracle that he’d ever opened up to me about the ranch and his dad. Somehow, he’d trusted me with those troubles. Maybe in time, he’d trust me enough to spill the rest.
“Okay. Let me change real quick.” I tipped my chin up for a quick kiss before hustling upstairs. I came down wearing ripped jeans and the Mustangs sweatshirt I’d stolen from him.
He tossed me my leather gloves, and we walked to the barn, where he collected a roll of barbed wire, a pair of fencing pliers and a bundle of steel fence posts. After loading up his truck, he drove me down a gravel road not far from his parents’ house and into a wide, green meadow filled with wildflowers of every color.
“This is beautiful,” I said when he parked next to a grove of trees that ran along the creek.
“This is my favorite spot on the ranch. Someday, this is where I’d like to build a house.”
A home here would be amazing. No matter how it was positioned, every view would be spectacular. On one side was the mountains; the other had the meadow and a grove of trees.
I could definitely live here.
I smiled, wishing one day I’d get that chance.
“Ready for your crash course in barbed wire?”
I grinned. “Bring it on.”
Three hours later, I’d stripped my sweatshirt down to the simple, white tank top underneath, now-drenched. My muscles hadn’t worked this hard in ages and I was a sweaty, hot mess. No wonder Silas had such a sculpted body and never went to the gym.
The patch of fence that we were repairing was deep in the trees. Silas was using a chainsaw to cut up a huge Cottonwood tree that had fallen onto the fence itself, and as he cut, I tossed the wood blocks into a pile, then hauled them all back to his truck for firewood.
Once the debris was cleared, we got to work on restringing the wire. Silas pounded steel posts into the ground, then I helped him string the barbed wire, attaching it to the posts using special clips. My arms had been scraped repeatedly and I looked like I’d lost a fight with an angry herd of barn cats.
But as difficult as it had been, I was enjoying the hard work. More so, I was enjoying working side by side with Silas.
“Let’s take a break.” He wiped his brow with his forearm.
His tight, white T-shirt showcased his broad and muscled chest. Damp with sweat, it clung to all the right places to highlight just how ripped he was, and as soon as we got back to his place, that shirt was coming off.
Silas sank down onto a fallen log, and I sat next to him, taking a long drink of cool water from his canteen. “Thanks for your help, babe. This would have taken me twice as long without your help.”
“Really?” Pride swelled in my chest.
He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. “Really.”
I stared into his brown eyes full of bright sunlight and knew he wasn’t just appeasing me. Elliot had said that I didn’t belong here, and maybe he’d end up being right. Ranch work really wasn’t my passion or my forte. But I did belong with Silas.
And since my man loved this ranch more than anything in the world, I’d put up with sore muscles and scraped skin every day of the week. I rested my head on his shoulder and listened to the birds chirping in the trees. When we’d both had more water, he helped me off the log and we got back to work.
As the morning went on, the sunlight disappeared and the clouds turned gray. I was pinching on my last wire clip when a drop of rain hit my nose. Three more followed and landed on my arms before the clouds burst and not even the trees could keep out the downpour.
“Gah!” I yelled, holding my hands over my head as I ran down the narrow trail toward the truck. Silas stood at the end of the trail.
He was just standing there. Not waiting to rush me back to the truck. Not shielding his face from the rain. Just standing and staring. His arms were hanging at his sides as he let the drenching rain wash over him.
My hands fell from my face when I reached him and the rain soaked my hair, running down my forehead and into my eyelashes. “What’s wrong?”
The water streamed down his face but he didn’t answer my question.
“Silas?” I was starting to get worried until a small smile tugged at his lips.
“You’re breathtaking, Lis.”
My breath hitched. Soaking wet with matted hair and no makeup, I had never felt more beautiful.
Silas’s fingers caressed my cheek. I tipped my head so it rested against his wrist and closed my eyes, letting the rain drip down my nose and over my lips. So what if we were wet? If he wanted to stand here in the rain, I’d stand here too.
When his warm breath hit my lips, his nose rubbed against the side of mine. I opened my eyes when his fingers started tracing the rain drops down the sides of my arms. Goose bumps broke across my skin and my heart pounded as I stood perfectly still, enjoying the feel of his sensual touch coupled with the rain.
His fingers reached mine and he laced them together before pulling me forward on the trail. He didn’t turn but was somehow able to navigate the rough ground as he walked backward. It was erotic, having his eyes locked on my face, refusing to break away.
The trail came to an end and we stepped out of the trees into the meadow. Silas’s back hit the truck and his slow, steady pursuit changed to a rough, greedy claiming as his mouth crushed down on mine. The heat from his tongue mixed with the cool water as both invaded my mouth. I let out a small moan when his hands started jerking and yanking at my wet clothes.
My hands went to his shirt, lifting it up so I could pull at the button on his jeans. When it was free, I slid down the zipper and let my hands slip underneath the damp denim to grip his muscled rear. I squeezed and kneaded the curves of his ass, pulling his hips closer to mine so I could feel his erection against my stomach.
He untangled his tongue from mine but kept our lips pressed together. “Inside,” he ordered. We leaned to the left and I reached around him to open the door’s handle.
He hopped inside first, tugging down his jeans. His hard cock sprang free and my mouth watered. I kicked out of my jeans and panties before climbing into the back seat, setting my thighs on the outside of his. My lips found the skin at his neck, and without hesitation, I lined up my entrance and sank down onto him.
“Fuck,” he groaned. “You feel so good, Lis.”
One of his hands came to my ass and he guided me up and down on his cock. The other dove inside my bra, rolling and pinching my hard nipples.
“Yeah, baby.” My moan vibrated against his corded throat and he let out a deep rumble of his own.
“Faster,” he commanded.
I braced my hands on his shoulders and worked my hips and thighs faster. His hand abandoned my breasts so both of his strong arms could support my legs as I fucked him. We slammed together, his hips thrusting upward to meet my descent, and each time we came together, my clit ground against the base of his cock.
My legs were starting to burn but I kept going, powered on by the sensation of my building orgasm. “Silas,” I gasped before it overtook me. White spots broke out behind my closed eyes and I cried out, clenching around him. I tried to keep moving but the wave of pleasure was too strong. All I could do was feel as it washed over me, bucking my hips as I pulsed.
I was coming down when Silas twisted us across the bench seat. With one of my legs on the floor and the other thrown over the seat back, he settled into my hips and started pounding. With his eyes locked on mine, he reached between us, found my clit and took me over the edge again, this time coming with me. The truck’s cab filled with sound as we both let go. Collapsing on top of me, his heavy breaths heated my neck as his come leaked down my rear. I loved that intimacy, knowing his seed was inside me.
“It just keeps getting better,” I murmured into his neck. “How is that possible? Every time I have to redo my top five.”
He leaned back and cocked his head. “Top five?”
I grinned. “Oh, yeah. Top five.” When his eyebrows furrowed, I brought a hand between us and rubbed the crease out. “Don’t worry. They all belong to you.”
His frown turned into a proud smile. “What’s number one?”
“It’s a secret.” I winked. The first time we’d ever been together would always be my number one.
Silas chuckled and pulled out, sitting up and taking me with him. With one skilled maneuver, he reversed our positions so he was on his back and I was lying on his chest. The rain dribbled on the truck’s roof, and the windows were all fogged white.
His hand came up and he stroked my hair while I closed my eyes and relaxed. The early morning, hard work and amazing sex had worn me out.
My clothes were all outside, getting soaked. Should I get up to get them?
Nah.
I’d walk home naked if that meant I got to take a nap on Silas while the rain lulled me to sleep.
Silas
Reaching under the seat, I fished out the flannel blanket I kept in the truck, draping it over Felicity’s bare back.
It wasn’t overly comfortable lying on the bench seat. My legs were at an odd angle, much too long for the tight space, and a seat-belt latch was digging into my side. But with Felicity content and sleepy, I’d be damned if I moved an inch.
“Lis?” I said before she could fall asleep.
She yawned. “Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For helping me today.”
“Anytime, baby,” she whispered and nuzzled further into my neck. I trailed my hands slowly down her back until her weight settled as she drifted off.
I’d been a dick this week, short and irritable, and I felt bad for taking it out on her. But these nightmares, they were fucking with my head.
Felicity probably assumed it was my time in the army causing my bad dreams. It wasn’t. I had been exposed to extreme violence and intensity, but somehow, I had learned to compartmentalize that time and not let it get to me.
Many others, like Paxon, were not as fortunate. I didn’t envy the way his memories would sneak up on him and thrust him into the past. He had been more forthcoming with me lately. A couple of times this week, he’d confided in me some of the problems he was having coping with his civilian life and I hoped that with a calm home and hard work, he would find a way to quiet his mind.
Those things had helped me. Coming home to Montana had made all the difference in the world and I hadn’t lost sleep because of my military past in years.
My nightmares were from Wes.
Right before Christmas, two years ago, I had been driving along an old country road on the far edge of the ranch and spotted something in the ditch.
Not something. Someone. Wes.
My childhood friend.
Dead.
He had been stabbed brutally and left to bleed out in the snow. His white skin and empty eyes had been in my dreams almost every night this past week. He’d sit up from his icy grave and tell me that Felicity would never be mine. That she’d always love him.
His blue lips would speak my biggest fear.
Felicity would always love Wes more than me. I was competing with a ghost. Men like me didn’t like to come in second place, but I had no chance at beating Wes. Felicity wasn’t over him.
I could read the signs.
In sixteen years, she’d never moved on. She’d had plenty of time to meet someone, get married and have kids. Instead, she’d dated assholes like that douchebag Andrea Merkuso was marrying. She’d dated men with no chance of replacing her love for Wes.
When she’d come home from Seattle, she had said that it was for her family and to be around for her mom, but I didn’t buy it. I think she came back because, now that Wes was gone, this was the only place where she still had a connection to him. Here, she could visit his grave and spend time with his parents.
For Christ’s sake, she kept a picture of them from high school on her mantel. Her house was void of any other photographs except the one of her and Wes. I’d seen that picture months ago and known I’d always just be a second-place contender for her heart.
And as much as all that shit had bothered me, I’d been able to push it down, ignore it and bury it deep. There had been no nightmares until Sabrina had showed up at my door.
Did Felicity recognize that her best friend was the spitting image of Wes?
Sabrina had lighter hair and eyes of a different color, but her face, nose and mouth were the same shape, and she reminded me so much of a younger Wes it was uncanny. Felicity had left us all behind but had made sure to find a Wes replacement to fill his void. How the fuck was I supposed to ignore that?
For the first time ever, I was actually glad she’d stayed gone for sixteen years. Seeing them together in my nightmares was bad enough. If she’d come home and reconnected with Wes, it would have gutted me. I would have re-enlisted and never come back.
But here we were, together. Get over this shit, man.
I had to work this out. Alone.
I wouldn’t tell Felicity about the nightmares, but I would spend more days like today, soaking up the comfort of her presence. Reminding myself over and over that Wes was gone and she was mine.
And that second place was better than no place at all.