“Wait!”
Silas stormed out of the barn and I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.
I reached his side just as he cleared the door and pulled on his arm. “Silas, stop.”
“No.” He yanked his arm free and kept moving. “Not this time.”
Running around him, I stood in front of him and put my hands on his chest. “Forget I said anything, please? Don’t do this. Not today.”
Without a word, he put his hands under my armpits and picked me up, setting me out of his path.
“Silas!” I scrambled again to keep up.
Elliot had left the corrals and was just crossing the threshold into his house. Silas’s steps changed direction as he followed. If he got inside, their fight would be on full display for the branding guests, and Olivia would be humiliated.
I ran around him again, and this time when I pushed at his chest, I used as much force as I could muster and dug my fingernails into his pecs. “Stop this right now!”
“Felicity—”
He went for my armpits again but I dropped my hands and slapped his chest. “Don’t!”
He stopped pushing and glared down at me, fisting his hands on his hips. “Get out of the way, babe.”
I copied his stance. “No. I’m not going to let you get in a fight with your dad today. That house is full of people.” I pointed behind me. “Your mom has worked too hard to let you ruin it.”
He growled. “I don’t care.”
“Of course you do. You’re being completely irrational! Who cares that your dad was a jerk? It wasn’t the first time. What’s this really about?” Before he could deny I was right, I held up a hand. “And don’t tell me it’s about your dad and me snapping at each other. You’re off the rails here, Silas. Something else has been festering for weeks. I’m going to venture a guess and say it’s the same thing causing your nightmares, but since you won’t talk to me, I’m not really fucking sure. Do you feel like telling me yet?”
His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared, but he didn’t answer.
“Fine.” I threw my hands in the air. “You want to get in a fight with your dad? Do it. But I’m not sticking around to watch.”
Flying past him, I went straight for my car. I’d been leaving the keys inside so that anyone could move it if it was in the way. Right now, I was really glad that I didn’t have to go inside before I made my escape. I had about thirty seconds before angry tears were going to come pouring out.
I was pissed at Elliot and Silas, but more than that, I was hurt. He was hiding something from me. He was upset and didn’t trust me enough to confide that in me. Paxon had been able to talk to me. Why couldn’t my own boyfriend?
I heard his footsteps behind me but I didn’t turn.
“You’re going to leave?”
“Yep.” I tossed the word over my shoulder.
“So that’s your answer? I’m pissed so you run away?”
My feet slid to a halt on the gravel and I spun around. “I’m not running away.”
He glared at me and sneered, “Sure feels like it. And I’d know, wouldn’t I?”
Ouch. That was the first time he’d ever thrown the past in my face.
How could he think I’d run away? I was giving him some space. I was taking some time to compose myself before we both ended up saying things we’d regret. How could he not see that?
I guess he really hadn’t forgiven me for the mistakes I’d made, after all.
Maybe it was foolish of me to think he ever would.
Silas
I stood in the middle of the gravel lot and watched Felicity’s car peel away from the barn in a cloud of dust.
“Hey, princess.”
Paxon was on the porch behind me. “What do you want?” I clipped. I was pissed about Dad, about Felicity, about everything, and he’d picked a bad time to come find me.
“Whoa.” He held up his hands. “Just wanted to invite you inside for a poker game, but since I see you’ve got other issues,” he pointed to where Felicity’s car was nearly out of sight, “I think I’d better offer you a beer or twelve instead.”
Beer. Beer would be good.
I turned and followed him inside, keeping my mouth shut when people asked me where Felicity had gone and walking straight to the cooler to pop the lid on a bottle of Bud Light. When I’d drained it down, I dug out number two.
“Easy,” Pax said at my side. “I think you’d better come sit in on this poker game before you stand here by the cooler and get yourself in even more trouble.”
I huffed. “Probably not a bad idea.” I wouldn’t mind getting passed-out drunk but I’d save that for after Felicity came back and dumped my ass.
An hour later, I was down a hundred and fifty bucks and would have an empty wallet when I went home to an empty bed.
“Fuck,” I muttered, tossing my cards on the table. “I fold.”
“You’re in a shit mood tonight,” Jess said.
“There’s trouble in paradise,” Paxon informed the table.
“What?” Jess asked, looking up from his cards with concern.
I shot Pax a scowl. He hid behind his cards, but I saw the corner of his lip twitch. Dickhead.
“It’s nothing,” I lied.
Now that I’d had a chance to cool off, I realized just how right she was. I’d exploded over something minor because I’d been keeping too much bottled inside. Part of it was Dad. Part of it was stress. Most of it was trying to come to grips with the fact that I wanted to tell Felicity I loved her but I was afraid she wouldn’t say it back.
I was afraid she’d tell me she’d only ever love Wes.
And I’d let this stupid incident today push me over the edge and I’d hurt her.
Fuck.
“Daddy, look!” Rowen snagged my attention as she ran up to Jess’s side with a horseshoe in her hand.
“Nice.” He smiled and started fawning over her discovery. A familiar pang of jealousy hit my gut. I was happy for my friend and fatherhood agreed with him, but I wasn’t getting any younger. I was starting to worry that I’d never have the chance to build my own family.
I wanted kids, a life centered on family. And I wanted it all with Felicity. I wanted our children to grow up close to their cousins and our friends’ kids. I wanted to see them running around playing at a summer barbeque. To have sledding parties at the ranch in the winter. To have big holidays full of laughter and love.
But none of that was going to happen if I’d royally fucked us up this afternoon and driven her away.
I had completely fucking overreacted.
“Snap out of it, dipshit, it’s your deal,” Paxon said.
I chuckled. Yeah, I was a dipshit all right.
What was I even doing here? I should be at Felicity’s house, on my knees, begging for her forgiveness. Promising that I’d never throw the past in her face again.
I set down my beer and stood. “I’ve got to go.”
Ignoring their demands for my money, I jogged inside and through the house. Leaping down the porch steps, I was about to hop in my truck when I saw her car in its normal spot.
She came back?
“Thank fuck,” I muttered, running past the barn and into my loft. “Felicity, I’m sor—” My feet ground to a stop when I hit the end of the hallway. “What’s going on?”
Standing by the couch, she blushed and tucked her hands in her jeans pocket. “Will you come sit down?”
I gave her a sideways glance, then walked to the couch. It wasn’t in its normal spot but pushed too close to the TV. The coffee table was now by the kitchen and my armchair was by the stairs. She’d rearranged my entire living area to make room for my mattress, which was now on the floor instead of on its platform upstairs.
As soon as I sat down, Felicity came to me and straddled my thighs. My hands immediately went to her hips as she settled on my lap.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
My shoulders sagged in relief that she wasn’t mad. “It’s my fault, not yours. I shouldn’t have gotten so pissed.”
“Regardless, I shouldn’t have left. Sometimes we might need space, but Silas, I promise I’ll never leave you again.”
I pushed out a breath that I’d been holding in for years. I hadn’t realized just how much I’d needed to hear that promise.
She leaned back, and I pushed the hair out of her face. “Is my punishment for being an ass that I have to sleep upstairs without a mattress?”
She laughed and I closed my eyes, blocking out everything else except that musical sound. When her hands framed my face, I opened them back up. Her beautiful blue eyes sparkled in the dim light.
“I wish we could go back in time,” she said. “That we would have spent these last sixteen years together, not apart, but since that isn’t possible, I thought maybe we could recreate our first night. This time, have it end a little differently.”
She dropped her hands as I glanced around. Then it clicked. How could I have not noticed when I came in? Our first night together had been one of the best in my life.
When my eyes came back to Felicity, she was studying my face. “What are you thinking?”
Easy answer. “That I love you.”
This time she bit her lip so her chin wouldn’t quiver. It didn’t work. Those blue eyes filled and her breath hitched. Her chest heaved before she said, “I love you too.”
I was just about to kiss her when she lost hold and tears poured down her face. She fell into my chest and cried against my neck as my arms hugged her tightly.
Shit. I had pictured this going much differently.
“Don’t cry.” I stroked her hair. “I know it’s hard to hear. I know you’ve only ever loved Wes and he’ll always be the love of your life, but can you make some room for me too? Please? We could be happy. Please? Please give me a chance to make you happy.”
I was begging. I didn’t beg. Ever. But the more she cried, the more desperate I became. The pleas kept popping into my nervous mind and flowing out of my mouth without pause.
Felicity’s chest started shaking even harder and I was starting to panic, but then I realized she wasn’t crying anymore. She was laughing.
Full-out belly laughing.
She leaned back and tipped her head to the ceiling, filling the entire room while I sat dumbfounded and openmouthed. Dragging in a couple of deep breaths, she managed to pull it together, and though her laughter stopped, the beautiful, beaming smile on her face remained.
This was better. I could work with the smile. The tears had almost wrecked me.
Her hands came back to my face and she pulled me forward for a hard, short kiss. “You’re an idiot.”
What?
“Do you actually think Wes was the love of my life?”
“Well . . . yeah.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I have been in love with one man for what feels like my entire life.” Her forehead pressed against mine as her lips whispered, “You.”
I sucked in a short breath when my heart skipped.
“After our first night together, I knew I didn’t love Wes. Not really. I couldn’t love him because I loved you. Even when you were just my friend. Even when I lived in Seattle. Even when you were across the world, fighting for our country. You always had this.” She took my hand and pressed it against her heart.
My fingers warmed against the thin cotton of her shirt.
“And I was crying, because I’ve been waiting a really, really long time to hear you say you loved me too.”
My nose was burning and my throat closed. Fuck. Before my eyes could water, I took Felicity’s mouth. With one hand still pressed between us, I used the other to slide her hips closer. She ground down on my cock and I groaned into her mouth. My dick strained against my zipper to be free.
Just like our first night all those years ago, I carried her to my mattress and laid her down gently, peeling off her clothes, then mine. I stroked my cock and lined it up with her slick entrance, savoring her sweet moan when I slid inside. When her arms wrapped around my back, I pressed my chest to hers.
Heart to heart.
I made love to my Lis slowly, deliberately, using every stroke to remind her that my soul was hers. She owned me completely. When she came, crying out my name, I fought to restrain my own orgasm but her tight, wet heat clenched around me like a fist. I poured into her as white stars consumed my vision and her sweet voice whispered, “I love you, Silas.”
I didn’t know what her top five times were, but this one had just skyrocketed to my number one.
Collapsing on top of her, I let myself take three full breaths before pulling myself free and rolling to the side.
Felicity curled into my side and kissed my nipple. More of that, and I’d be ready for round two in three minutes instead of ten. “Now what?” She smiled against my skin as she asked the familiar question.
“Whatever you want.”
“I want babies,” she declared.
I chuckled at her bluntness. “Then stop taking those pills and I’ll give you babies.”
“Really?” She pushed off my chest and looked at me in surprise. “We should probably get married first.”
“We’re getting married.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you asking me to marry you?”
I smiled. “Nope.” There was no way my Lis was getting a casual proposal. She deserved the big show and I knew exactly what I was going to do.
“So you want to get married and have kids?”
“Yep.”
“But you’re not asking me to marry you.”
“Right.”
“I’m confused.”
I lifted my head and kissed her soft, pink lips. “Just go with it.”
She grinned at the familiar line from our youth. Fuck, that smile. She was stunning, so beautiful it made my heart hammer in my chest. Without a doubt, this was the happiest I’d ever been.
I kissed her gently again. “I love you.”
That smile spread even wider. “I love you too.”
Now that was a better reaction than the first time.
I came up at her in a flash, slamming our mouths together and spinning her onto her back. Then I took full advantage of the mattress being on the floor.
Felicity
Someone was knocking on the front door.
“Go away,” Silas muttered.
I blinked away sleep and pushed up onto an elbow, twisting to grab Silas’s T-shirt from the floor.
We had been asleep for maybe an hour. By the time Silas was done with me, it had been well after midnight, and I’d passed out, completely satisfied and deliriously happy. Squinting, I tried to read the clock on the microwave.
Silas got up first, yanking on a pair of jeans and zipping them up. He skipped the top button so they rode loosely on his hips. Please don’t be his mother at the door.
I stepped into my panties and tugged the hem of Silas’s shirt down over my rear. Walking quickly to catch up to Silas, I slipped a hand into his back jeans pocket and followed him down the hall.
He looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. When he opened the door, I forced my eyes away from his sculpted back to see who was here.
I gasped and slapped my free hand over my mouth.