Day seven.
I’d started keeping a tally on a scrap of paper in the kitchen, otherwise, the days would have blurred together.
Why? Because I was bored out of my damn mind.
Every day was the same. Wake up. Take a shower. Do my very best to style my hair without a hair dryer, straightener or curling iron. Eat breakfast. Read. Eat lunch. Read. Eat dinner. Read. Sleep.
Without the company of Felicity’s Kindle, I would have gone mad by day four.
I had enjoyed the relaxed and sleepy pace at first. I’d lost myself in a few amazing romance novels and time had flown by, but then I’d started getting antsy. This girl was not made for sitting idle. My fingers were in a continuous state of twiddling, and every time I sat down, my legs started bouncing involuntarily.
I missed my job. I missed my city. I missed my apartment.
I missed my phone.
The phantom pains from its amputation were no joke. I reached for it constantly. Social media had never really been my thing but I’d gotten in the habit of checking it periodically throughout the day. I had used it to keep tabs on my brothers’ lives in Florida. To see what rumors the gossip rags were spreading about my favorite celebrities. To stalk enemy reporters at competing newspapers.
Now I was completely disconnected.
No texting. No Google. No online shopping.
Since my ankle had mostly healed, I’d resorted to pacing to pass the time.
That’s what I was doing now. Pacing. Eight steps to one wall. Eight steps back. If I went from the bathroom to the front door, it took fifteen.
And where was Beau, my so-called companion, during all these jittery steps?
Avoiding me.
He’d disappear first thing in the morning and come back right before dinner. Our evenings were spent mostly in silence. I’d read—or pretend to read while watching him from the corner of my eye—and he’d tinker around the outpost until he set up his bed on the floor and fell asleep.
Ever since his declaration that he had no interest in exploring our chemistry, things between us had become miserably awkward. Whenever he was around, I was so focused on avoiding his personal space that I could barely carry on a normal conversation. Beau must have sensed my discomfort too because for the last few days he hadn’t even tried to make small talk.
I had to break this silence.
Maybe tonight I should clear the air. Tell him that I was attracted to him but had no desire for a romantic relationship. Tell him that all I wanted was the elusive male/female friendship. Surely by day fourteen, my attraction for him would fade and I’d be back to normal. Friendship would be easy then. Right?
Right.
“Hey.” Beau’s deep rumble startled me. I spun toward the front door, clutching my hands to my pounding heart. “Sorry.” He stepped inside. “Thought you heard me come up.”
I shook my head. “I was thinking. What’s up?” I tucked my hands into the kangaroo pocket of my green hoodie to keep them still.
“I just finished with a project. I was wondering if you wanted to come out and see what I’ve been working on.”
“Uh, sure?”
His eyebrows went up. “Is that a question or an answer?”
“An answer? I mean, sure. I’ll go out,” I gulped, “there.”
I’d spent these last seven days inside. I wasn’t a nature lover, and without Beau around, I hadn’t wanted to go exploring on my own. The only time I’d ventured out the door had been to take a bag of trash to the burn barrel. Afterward, Beau had told me to make sure I locked the lid up tight to avoid attracting raccoons or bears. That had terrified me so much that I’d made it my personal mission in life to avoid creating garbage.
“Come on out when you’re ready. I’ll split a few more logs.”
I nodded and went to dig out my tennis shoes. The sound of Beau’s ax cracking through wood echoed off the walls as I bent to tie my shoes, breathing through the tenderness in my still-sore ribs.
“Ready,” I called, stepping outside and shielding my eyes as they adjusted to the bright afternoon light.
He took one last powerful swing and I struggled to ignore the flutter in my belly. I fell in step beside him as we walked away from the road and outpost, his long strides slower than normal and mine doing double time to keep up.
“So, are you done acting weird?” Beau asked.
My chin fell and I gaped at him with huge eyes. “What?”
“I asked if you were done acting weird.”
I narrowed my eyes at the smirk on his face. How could he pin this all on me? He had been acting strangely too. Well, maybe his behavior had been more in reaction to mine. Whatever. This was the last topic I wanted to debate.
“I’m not even going to acknowledge that remark.” I held my chin high and picked up my pace. His chuckle elicited an eye roll.
We walked past a grouping of trees and into a long, wide clearing of lush, green grass. I tipped my chin up, the sunshine on my face incredible. My spirits instantly perked up. I needed to force myself to go outside more and boost my vitamin D levels.
I felt better now than I had all week.
Dropping my chin, I looked around. The outpost was situated in a mountain valley. The meadow we were walking through was surrounded by evergreen hills that turned to blue mountains as they rose into the sky. About halfway up their steep slopes, the trees were still dusted with snow. Standing out in the open, I felt so small compared to their majesty.
“This is beautiful.” The grass was the bright, neon green of spring and its clean smell was a welcome change from the woodsy aroma in the outpost. The air was still cool but not sharp. A breeze rustled through the evergreens, filling the air with a gentle whisper.
“Believe it or not, this is an airstrip,” Beau said. “I’ve been working to clear trees that started growing too far into the meadow.” He pointed to a few big piles of fallen trees around the edges of the field.
“Why is there an airstrip in the middle of nowhere?”
“In case a small plane needs to do an emergency landing. There are a bunch of these little strips throughout the mountains. Usually they’re located by an outpost so there is shelter. Part of my job with the forest service is to make sure the fields are clear and the tree line doesn’t encroach too much.”
“That sounds like a lot of work.”
“I don’t do it all myself. I’ve got a crew that goes around to the larger places. A couple of the bigger outposts have full-time residents that live there year-round. But since this place has always been my favorite, I usually come up here and clean it up myself.”
That didn’t surprise me at all. Though Beau hadn’t been overly chatty with me this week, he had seemed happy and content.
“You really love it out here, don’t you?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Why?” My question wasn’t judgmental, just curious. I had been plopped down in the middle of a different culture, a different world. Maybe if I understood what Beau found so appealing, the strange things here wouldn’t frighten me as much.
“I guess it just suits me. It speaks to my soul. I’ve always felt at peace in the woods, and life just seems . . . simpler out here.”
“Is your life in town complicated?”
He shrugged. “No. Maybe.”
We walked in silence for a few moments as I waited for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, frustration bubbled up in my gut. My inquisitive nature had been deprived this week. I missed being in reporter-mode and asking questions whenever they popped into my head. My boss had always compared me to a little kid, bouncing on my feet, asking “why” a million times until I was satisfied with the answer.
I needed more from Beau than a two-word response. “Come on, can’t you give me a better answer? Humor me. Please?”
“Nosy.” He looked down at me and grinned.
I gave him my “I’m waiting” look and he smiled wider.
“I wouldn’t say life is complicated,” he finally said, “it just gets busy. I could use about three more employees than I have. If there’s a fire in the area, that number becomes more like ten. And lately we’ve had some tough search and rescue cases. Plus I do my best to help out with family and spend time with Coby so he’s got a dad-type figure in his life. I’ve just got a lot of balls in the air and don’t want to drop any.”
On top of all that responsibility, he was taking on my troubles too. Beau was the type of man that everyone around him leaned on. And instead of seeing to his life in Prescott, he was stuck here. His absence from town could not be helping his stress levels.
Sabrina MacKenzie, you’ve been selfish. I had been so consumed worrying about my own life that I hadn’t taken into consideration what this setup was doing to Beau’s.
“I’m sorry, Beau. The last thing you need is to babysit me.”
“I don’t mind. Really. I needed to come up here anyway and do some long-overdue cleanup.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m sure. Though, things would be even better if you’d stop avoiding me.”
I nodded. “All right.”
The least I could do for Beau was make our temporary living arrangement comfortable. I’d do my damnedest not to let my intense attraction get in the way of friendship. Beau had been right in drawing that line in the sand between us, and I’d overreacted, making things more awkward than they had to be. We were adults. He was acting like one. It was time I did too.
We strolled across the clearing, enjoying the fresh spring air and the sound of birds chirping in the trees. In the distance, Boone bounded through the grass, his tail wagging constantly while his nose discovered and dismissed different smells. Just like Beau, Boone was in his element here.
“Look there.” Beau pointed to a bunny.
“Cute! A wildlife creature that doesn’t scare the shit out of me.” My appreciation of the animal was cut short when Boone came out of nowhere and barked, chasing the rabbit away.
By the time we hit the far end of the meadow, the awkwardness of the last week had all but vanished. When we turned to start back to the outpost, Beau asked, “What do you think is happening with the Federovs?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Without the internet to check, I can only guess. I’ve been keeping my fingers crossed that the FBI stepped in.” If they hadn’t, then I didn’t know what I’d do. Anton would be free to seek me out and finish what he’d started in my apartment. But I had faith that Henry, my FBI contact, wouldn’t let me down.
Beau hummed and rubbed a hand over his bearded jaw. I’d learned this week that meant he was mulling over something. “What about your family?”
I hated to think of how my disappearance was affecting my parents, so much so that I’d been trying not to think about it. “What about my family?”
“They’ve got to be worried. I’m sure they know by now you’re missing.”
My shoulders fell. “Yeah. I’m sure they are.”
The idea of causing them pain made my stomach ache.
My mom was probably in a perpetual state of motion—I’d inherited my pacing habit from her. While she was a frantic and active worrier, my dad was sullen and withdrawn when stressed. He’d had two ulcers already because his fears ate at him from the inside out. I just hoped that my brothers, who were the most levelheaded of us all, could keep them from panicking.
“Are you tight with them?” Beau asked.
I shook my head. “Not really. My parents are much closer to my older twin brothers. And work was always so busy for me I didn’t make the trip home much.”
My parents had only visited me in Seattle twice in all the years I’d lived there, once for my college graduation, and once when I’d received an award at the paper. My brothers had only come out for my graduation.
They’d offer to visit, and I’d tell them I was busy with work. They’d ask me to come home, and I’d suddenly have an idea for a story that just couldn’t wait. The last time I’d seen my family was three years ago, when I’d flown home after Mom had begged me to be there for Christmas. We’d all spent an awkward week together, not having much in common anymore and all loathing the forced small talk, until I’d retreated back to Seattle.
But just because I wasn’t close to my family didn’t mean there wasn’t love there. I knew my parents loved me, even if we didn’t talk often. I was sure they were going out of their minds wondering if I was alive.
Twirling a lock of hair in my ponytail, I started thinking about all of the other people in my life. Was my boss worried that the Federovs had gotten to me? He always pushed me to test the limits during my investigations but he also always reminded me to be safe, first and foremost. He’d never forgive himself for assigning me this story once he learned how Anton had beaten me. I couldn’t imagine how my boss was feeling if he thought I was dead.
Besides him, there was my doorman, who was more like a favorite uncle. He was undoubtedly concerned about my whereabouts and probably calling the police hourly to see if they had any updates.
But at least Felicity knew I was okay.
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Beau tugged my hand away from my hair.
“It’s okay. I just wish there was a way for me to secretly alert people that I was alive. Everyone probably thinks I’m swimming with the fishes and wearing concrete boots.”
“Hmm,” he said. “Let’s brainstorm that a bit. Electronic communication is out. That’s easy to trace. Phone calls are a no-go too. What about mail? I doubt the Federovs are monitoring the postal service. What if you sent your family a letter? Prescott is just a couple hours from Wyoming. When I go back, I could drive over the border and mail it just so we wouldn’t have to worry about the postmark.”
“That could work.” My spirits lifted instantly. Easing my parents’ worry would go a long way to easing my own. “You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all. And you might as well get word to your FBI agent while you’re at it. There’s no reason for them to spend man hours trying to track you down when they could put those toward nailing Federov to the wall.”
I smiled the first genuine smile of the week. “Agreed. Good idea, Goliath.”
He grinned. “Thanks.”
This plan settled some nerves but not all. Even if I notified my family and the FBI, there were still plenty of things still up in the air. Depending on how long I was here, the life I returned to in Seattle could be very different from the life I’d left.
Would my landlords hold my apartment for me? If they thought I was dead, would I go home to strangers living in my home? What about my job? My boss was making do with too few reporters as it was. Would I be unemployed soon?
I swallowed a dry laugh.
This wasn’t the grandeur I’d once imagined.
While I’d been writing the Federov story, I’d imagined how my life would change after its publication. I’d pictured myself getting award nominations and personal accolades from the justice department. I’d seen promotions and pay increases at the paper. I had dreamed of being a modern-day heroine.
Anton Federov had checked my ego.
Never had I imagined that things could have gone so terribly wrong.
“What now?” Beau asked.
“Huh?”
His eyebrows furrowed. “You were fine a minute ago and then the smile fell right off your face. What’s rattling around in your head now?”
“I was just thinking about all the stuff I left behind.” I confessed my worries and he sympathized, but unfortunately, where he’d offered a solution to my other concerns, there wasn’t much either of us could come up with this time around. Nevertheless, it helped to talk it out.
Beau was a skilled listener, and even though I’d only known him for a week, I trusted him to dole out honest advice. He had my full respect. I couldn’t think of the last time I’d dated a man as admirable as he was.
He could have pressed it earlier this week, taken advantage of my vulnerabilities and attraction for him. Most of my ex-boyfriends or ex-lovers would have, and god knows, I wouldn’t have put up a fight had he dragged me to his sleeping bag. But that just wasn’t Beau Holt’s style.
I liked that. A lot.
“Thanks, Beau.”
“Anytime.” He bumped me with his enormous shoulder. I was sure he only intended me to sidestep a bit, but the jolt sent me flying. If not for his quick reflexes, my ass would have landed in the grass and dirt.
“Fuck. Sorry,” he said, standing me up. “Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head and giggled. The sting in my ribs was nothing to make him feel bad about. “Let me guess. You don’t know your own strength?”
He laughed too. “Something like that.”
My breath hitched a bit at the wide smile softening his face. Our eyes locked, but before it lasted too long, I broke away and started walking again. Why did he have to be so hot? Being trapped here with a mullet man or booger eater would have been so much easier. Well . . . maybe not easier, but certainly less tempting.
Beau and I crossed the remaining distance to the edge of the meadow and eased back into the shadow of the trees. I instantly missed the sunshine and challenged myself to come out on a more regular basis. Maybe I’d even offer to help Beau with his projects. With the awkwardness from the last seven days gone, I could embrace his company instead of avoiding it. After all, soon I’d be alone. I needed to soak up his company while I still had it.
“What do you feel like for dinner?” I asked as we approached the outpost.
“Let’s take a drive first. Go ahead and hop in, I’ll be right back.” Beau called for Boone and the dog came sprinting over.
A drive sounded like a nice way to pass the rest of the afternoon and it wasn’t like my e-books were going anywhere. I had enjoyed my walk through the meadow and wouldn’t mind seeing more of the area. At night, the wilderness still scared the crap out of me, but during the day, the mountains and trees were kind of majestic.
Beau and Boone got in the truck and the dog settled right into my side. He, much like the rustic scenery, was growing on me.
I rode quietly as Beau drove us through the trees. We weren’t on a road and I said a silent prayer that he would be able to find his way back to the outpost. When he pointed the truck up a narrow and extremely steep hill, I gasped and gripped my door handle while my heart jumped into my throat. The truck was inverted at such a steep angle it was akin to a rollercoaster riding up that first terrifying incline before the inevitable plunge.
Please, truck, don’t roll over. I really wanted to live to my thirty-fifth birthday.
It took a few minutes after we crested the ridge for my racing heart to settle. Beau parked, and once my panic had subsided, I took a look at the incredible view. From up here, I could see forever.
“Wow. I feel like I’m in Middle Earth.” The tall, snowcapped mountains in the distance stood like giants above the open, gold plains in between.
“I wouldn’t have taken you for a Lord of the Rings fan,” Beau said. “Movies or books?”
“As a rule, books, but those movies were incredible so they are an exception.”
Beau hummed in agreement before pulling out his cell phone. “Here.” He held it out. “There’s probably only one bar or two but go crazy. Use my profile and cyber stalk your family. You can check the news to see what’s up with the Federovs.”
I sat frozen for a second until his words registered. He’d brought me up here because there was cell service. Taking the phone, I beamed. “Thank you.”
I tapped the Facebook app but stopped before typing my mom’s name into the search bar. I looked up at Beau, tears pooling in my eyes. “What if the Federovs got to them?” I could barely choke out the words.
His eyes softened and he reached out a hand, placing it on the side of my neck. “They’re okay. Jess would have found us if something bad had happened.”
“You think?”
“I know.” His thumb rubbed the underside of my jaw and I couldn’t help but lean my weight further into his soothing grip.
“Okay.” I blinked away my tears. Then, diving right in, I Facebook-stalked my family.
My parents, brothers and entire extended family had been posting regular pleas, begging for information on my whereabouts. Their words were laced so heavily with concern that I couldn’t stop the tears from running down my cheeks. The video my dad had posted was heartbreaking. His skin was splotchy from crying and he looked wrecked with worry.
I felt unbearably guilty for making them suffer but at the same time incredibly relieved, because even worried, they were all safe and unharmed.
“Well?” Beau asked.
I held out the phone for him to see the post I’d opened. “I’m the contemporary girl on the milk carton.”
“That’s quite the hairdo.” We both chuckled at his joke. I was grateful for his humor to help me get my emotions under control.
“I was going through a big-hair phase.” Clearly, I needed to get some more recent photographs to my parents. The one they seemed to be circulating the most was from my college graduation. I’d had a huge bump teased into the top of my head.
Looking out across the beautiful distance, I made a silent promise. I would build a stronger relationship with my family. Once I was free to leave my Montana hideout, I was going to be a better daughter and sister.
Turning back to the phone, I started digging into recent news articles from my paper. Immense relief flowed through my veins when I read that the Federovs had been arrested and the FBI was conducting a major investigation into their ties to the Russian mafia. I let out an audible sigh, relieved my hard work had not been in vain.
An hour later, I was in a better mental state than I’d been in since Seattle.
“Thank you,” I told Beau. “So much.” I wouldn’t ever be able to explain how much this hour connected to the real world had meant.
“No problem.” His easy smile made my heart beat double time.
Curses. My attraction for Beau wasn’t fading, not in the slightest. The new-guy flutters were morphing into all-consuming desire. My heart would fall for this sweet and thoughtful man. It was inevitable. And it would be the forever kind of fall. A disastrous descent that would splatter my heart on the pavement and leave no possible hope for repair.
Because a future with Beau was impossible.
We’re from two different worlds.
His words rang in my ears and sounded even worse than they had a week ago.
I turned back to his phone as a dull ache settled into my heart. When this ordeal was over, I’d go back to my life and Beau would stay here in his. The sooner I accepted that fate the better.
“One more minute?” I asked.
“Take as long as you need.”
My fingers worked automatically, typing in a name for one last Facebook search. Again, I was met with my picture, this one much more recent, having been taken just four weeks ago. But unlike the photos my family had posted, in this picture I was not alone.
Anton was standing at my side, an arm thrown around my shoulders. The smile on my face would look genuine to all those that didn’t know me well. Anton’s handsome face was split wide, laughing at the photographer, his brother Ivan.
The photo was unsettling but it was the caption that sent ice prickling down my spine.
Please help me find my beautiful girlfriend, Sabrina. We’re desperate to bring her back home.