Early the next morning, the hotshot crew was in a subdued mood. As the first ray of sun lit the sky, they all roused from their simple beds and started packing up camp. Beau and I woke early too, anxious to see our visitors—one individual in particular—gone.
As his crew cleaned up the fire pit, loaded bags and repacked their vehicles, Dylan sat in the passenger seat of one truck with his head tipped back and his eyes closed. One entire side of his face was red and swollen from where Beau had clobbered him. I tried but couldn’t summon a single ounce of sympathy for the asshole. Dylan had deserved that hit and the pain he’d be feeling for the next few days.
When the crew was loaded and ready to leave, Beau, Michael and I stood in a row, saying good-bye to the team. Michael promised to visit the guys that lived in Bozeman after forest fire season was over. Beau praised each and every one of the men for the hard work they’d put forward on this fire. And I plastered on a smile, doing my best to ease the worry etched on the men’s faces as they apologized on Dylan’s behalf.
As the crew’s trucks disappeared down the rough road, a mountain of tension went with them.
“How did the rest of the party go?” Beau asked Michael.
“Quiet. We pretty much all stared at the fire, then fell asleep.”
“Sorry,” I said. “I had a bad feeling about Dylan and shouldn’t have left the party alone.”
“Don’t apologize,” Beau said. “We all thought he was passed out. I wish I’d hit that fucker harder.”
“Down, boy,” I teased, touching his arm so his fists would unclench. He grumbled but relaxed.
Beau was right. I didn’t need to apologize. The fault was Dylan’s, but regardless, next time I would be more careful.
Wait, next time?
I hoped that was just a mental blip because I didn’t think I had it in me to fight off another Anton or Dylan. As promised, Beau had brought me my bear spray but I had no desire to learn how to use it. Hell, I hadn’t even considered using the spray last night. Instead I’d run into the dark woods, barefoot.
God, Sabrina. You’re worse than those stupid horror movie girls.
I pressed my lips together to keep my laughter inside. “I need more coffee,” I told the guys, turning to walk inside. I didn’t want to explain a sudden fit of giggles.
“So how are the supplies?” Beau asked, joining me in the kitchen a few minutes later.
I took a quick inventory of the cupboards and fridge. My food tubs had been mostly cleaned out last night at the party but I still had enough to last a while.
“I’ve got enough for at least a week by myself.”
“Okay. I need to get Michael back to town and check in at the office. I want to get my formal complaint in to Dylan’s boss as soon as possible. I really hate leaving you after all that shit last night but—”
“Go, I’m fine.”
“What if you have a nightmare or—”
“Beau, I’m fine. You need to report Dylan. I don’t want something bad to happen to those guys because you were too worried to leave me here alone. I’ve got Boone and a novel to write. Really, go. I’m fine.”
And I was. Being with him last night, sleeping safely in his arms, had done wonders to reassure me that I was safe in the outpost. I wasn’t going to let Dylan take this place from me.
Beau dropped his head and sighed. “I’m sorry, Shortcake. If I could, I’d send Michael back and hang with you for the week.”
“I know you would.”
He reached out and cupped my jaw, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “We need to talk.”
“We do but it can wait.”
As much as I’d like to hash things out and talk about our kiss, a week to myself might be best. I needed the peace and quiet of my little forest house to reflect on just how much my heart could take.
“Okay.” He dropped his hand. “You know I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t think you were safe.”
I smiled. “I know, I’m safe. No one knows I’m here. I’ve got my bear spray and Boone. The outhouse is my backup.”
He grinned. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Do you want anything in particular from town?”
“Hmm. A pint or five of Ben & Jerry’s wouldn’t go uneaten.”
He chuckled. “Ice cream. Anything else?”
“Nope. Just don’t worry about me and rush. Take the time to do what you need to do.”
“You’re the toughest woman I’ve ever met, Sabrina MacKenzie.” He grabbed the hair I’d been twirling out of my fingers. “But I think I’ll always worry about you.”
Just like I’d always worry about him when we were apart.
The next week dragged on until finally Friday came and Beau was back at the outpost.
Back, and torturing me.
“Again,” he ordered.
“It’s not going to work. You’re too big!”
“I’m not too big. Try again.”
I huffed and assumed my stance. With one swift move, Beau lunged for me, his arms reaching right for my throat.
I sidestepped and grabbed for his extended wrist and forearm like he’d shown me, locking his elbow straight. Then I brought my knee up hard to his groin, only pulling power at the last second so I wouldn’t damage his man parts. I did the takedown he’d taught me, leveraging his forward momentum and his locked arm to get him on the ground with his shoulder at an odd and painful angle in the air while I twisted his wrist in a direction it wasn’t meant to go.
“Can you get out?” I asked. He tried to roll but I pushed harder on his wrist.
“No. I’m stuck. Now you kick me in the gut with all your might. If you’ve got the right angle, you can always do another shot to the groin. A hard stomp on the lower back would work too. The goal is to inflict pain fast and hard so you can let go and run like hell.”
“Okay.” I nodded, releasing his wrist.
Beau jumped to his feet and brushed the dirt off the front of his gray T-shirt and jeans. “See? I told you that you could do it. Even though your attacker might be bigger, use what you’ve got to your advantage. You’re quick on your feet. Use the weaker joints to inflict pain. And remember, big bodies fall hard when they miss their target. You did awesome.”
I smiled as my chest swelled with pride. “Thanks.”
Beau had come to the outpost for the weekend and our first activity was this self-defense class. He insisted that after Dylan’s attack, I needed to be better prepared for the future. We’d been at it for hours and I’d only learned three techniques, but I had successfully completed each one. This last had been the most difficult, but with continued practice, I hoped to get more comfortable with the movements.
“Where’d you learn all this?” I asked as we each took a drink from our water bottles.
“I’ve got a black belt in karate.”
“Really? That’s awesome. I’m tempted to change your nickname from Goliath to Badass Beau.”
He chuckled. “Let’s not get crazy.”
“How long have you been doing karate? Tell me everything.” I had never met a black belt before. My gym in Seattle had a self-defense class taught by some police officers who were trained in the martial arts but I’d never made the time to sign up.
“I actually started in college. I got into it my freshman year and worked my way up to a black belt right before I graduated. I fell out of it after moving back home since there wasn’t anyone in Prescott who taught.”
“But you picked it back up?”
“Yeah. After Maisy got kidnapped and attacked, she asked me to teach her some basics and I started doing it again. Mostly, I practice in my garage but once every couple of months I try and get over to a dojo in Bozeman.”
“That’s amazing. Do you wear the white pajamas?”
He laughed. “It’s called a gi. And yes. I wear a gi when I visit the dojo.”
“Have you ever thought about starting up your own dojo in Prescott? You’re an awesome teacher.”
He shrugged. “I could probably build up a nice school, teaching one or two nights a week, but I just don’t have the time. Maybe someday when I have kids.”
“Well, I appreciate the lesson. Now if anyone tries to attack me, which seems to be happening much too frequently lately, I can take them out.” I did a series of exaggerated karate chops in the air with a shrieking, “Hiyah!”
Beau laughed and shook his head. “Shortcake, you are one of a kind.”
I smiled. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”
“You should.” He reached out and freed a lock of my ponytail that had gotten stuck in my ear.
My eyes locked with his as the mood shifted from playful to heavy. I inhaled but it hitched in my chest. Was he going to kiss me again? Please, please kiss me again. It seemed like so long ago that we’d kissed in the kitchen. It had only been a little over a week, but with the forest fire, the incident with Dylan and then him being gone in town, it felt like forever.
We hadn’t talked about our first kiss yet, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why we even needed the discussion. With Beau’s eyes staring right into my soul, I didn’t have one worry about where we were headed.
I’d follow him anywhere on earth.
Beau’s chin tipped down another notch as we closed the small gap between us. My hand lifted up to his chest, but before I could touch him, he caught my hand and pulled it down to our sides. Linking his fingers with mine, he took a step back. My hopes of another kiss evaporated as he pulled me away from the outpost and into the sunny meadow.
“We should probably talk about that kiss,” he said.
I frowned. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry, Sabrina.”
Sorry? Fabulous, he regretted it. Well, I didn’t and I wasn’t going to apologize. “I’m not,” I clipped.
“Hey.” He tugged on my hand. “That’s not what I mean.”
“Then can you please explain?” I was tired of trying to interpret Beau. Sometimes I thought we were on the same page, but other times, it was like we were on different sides of the library.
“I’m sorry if I’ve been sending you mixed messages. I had every intention of waiting for you to be ready but you looked so sad that morning. All I wanted was to take that away. I don’t want to be the guy that hurts you, Sabrina.”
Here he was with that “ready” crap again. During the last week, I’d replayed our conversations on loop and had come to the conclusion that he’d been talking about my ordeal with Anton. That he thought I wasn’t ready for a new man because I was still emotionally and physically fragile from Anton’s abuse.
“When you say I’m not ready, do you mean that I’m not ready to be hurt again? You think you’ll hurt me?”
He nodded.
“Why?”
“You know why.”
I really didn’t. Beau was the kindest, sweetest and most thoughtful man I’d ever met. He’d move mountains to keep me safe. How could he think he’d hurt me?
Two different worlds. Beau’s words popped in my head and my shoulders fell as it dawned on me. He was country. I was city.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the realization cleared away my confusion. All along, I had known it would hurt when I eventually left Beau. He had been giving me time so that I could decide if I wanted to go through that pain or not.
Beau Holt was such a good man.
And if he was willing, there was no way I was going to keep up a barrier between us. I was an expert at self-preservation, but pushing Beau away to spare my feelings just wasn’t an option. He was already a part of my heart. If it was going to get shredded when I left, I was going to take as much Beau as I could get until then.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen in one month or two, Beau. I don’t really even know what’s going to happen tomorrow, but I do know that you’d never intentionally hurt me.”
“This thing between us isn’t small.”
“No, but it’s not going away.”
“Are you sure you want to sign up for something that could end in disaster?”
“Are you?”
He nodded. “I’m not going to lie and say I don’t want you. We both know I do. But I’m going into this with eyes wide open.”
“Me too. I don’t want to always wonder ‘what if.’ ”
He studied me for a moment before sighing. “Okay.”
My heart filled with joy and my smile stretched wide. “The sex will probably be horrible anyway,” I teased.
He laughed and stepped into my space. With one burst of strength, he picked me up and crushed me against his chest. My legs wrapped around his hips as he bounced me up further so we were nose to nose.
I closed my eyes, waiting for him to kiss me, but his soft lips just barely skimmed mine as he asked, “Should we find out?”
I nodded, breathing, “Yes.”
Beau’s lips spread into a grin before he spun us around and walked back toward the outpost. As soon as his feet were on the right course, his mouth claimed mine. Damn, he could kiss. Everything about him took control. Not just his mouth, but his entire body. One of his arms banded even more tightly around my rear while the other came to the back of my hair. His hand was so large, he had complete control over my head.
With one gentle twist, he slanted my face and thrust his tongue between my lips again. I opened for him immediately so our tongues could tangle. My arms and legs squeezed tighter and my hands dug into his back, clinging to him with every ounce of strength as he walked. I didn’t need to keep a grip, he’d never drop me, but I clutched at his shoulders anyway.
I’d told him on numerous occasions that I didn’t like to be hauled around but Beau could carry me like this any day of the week. How he managed not to trip on the uneven ground or run us into a tree was amazing given how fast he was moving. It seemed like we had just started our kiss when he broke away, fumbling with the door of his truck.
“What are you doing?” I panted.
“Condoms.” He didn’t set me down as he reached into the truck and rifled through the console. It was a good thing he had some stashed away or I would have forced him to drive back to town to buy a box. My birth control shot had run out weeks ago, and now that we’d finally agreed to sex, I was not going to sleep tonight without it.
As soon as he had condoms in hand, his mouth came back to me, this time working its way from the corner of my lips, across my jaw and down my neck. My head lulled to the side as Beau’s soft lips traveled. The tickling of his beard sent shivers all the way down to my belly.
“Hurry,” I moaned, tipping my hips up to grind even further into his body.
Beau wasted no time carrying me inside. He crossed the threshold and slammed the door closed with a kick, leaving Boone outside. In the middle off the room, he carefully set me down so he could whip the sleeping bag off my cot and fan it out on the floor.
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my feet steady, but the room was spinning. Beau’s kiss had the power to make me nearly faint. Whatever was coming next might kill me, but at the moment, I couldn’t think of a better way to die.
“Sabrina.” Beau’s sexy, deep rumble filled the room as he held out a hand. The instant my fingers brushed his palm, he tugged me into his hard chest and wrapped me up in his arms.
Between us, I dropped both hands to the hem of his shirt, sliding my fingertips under the cotton to trace the dips of his muscled stomach up to his pecs. I lifted his T-shirt as my fingers explored, and when I finally reached his collarbone, Beau reached behind his neck to jerk the shirt off and sent it flying behind my back.
My eyes dropped from his face to his chest and as my fingers continued to explore, I leaned in and pressed a kiss against one of Beau’s nipples before doing the same to the other. Each time my tongue darted out and found his skin, he sucked in a sharp breath. The erection behind his jeans jutted firmly against my stomach and got harder with every lick.
I alternated between his nipples, enjoying the brush of his chest hair against my lips, until Beau grabbed both my hands, stopping them from reaching for his belt buckle.
“My turn.” The tank top I’d been wearing disappeared to the floor and my bra wasn’t far behind. Beau dropped to his knees on the sleeping bag and wrapped his arms around my hips, pulling me into his space. He was so tall that, even kneeling, I didn’t stand much taller than him on the floor. His lips found my ribs as his hands slid up to my breasts, cupping them completely as his thumb and middle finger rolled my nipples into hard pebbles.
“Goliath, you’re making me dizzy.”
He chuckled but kept worshiping my skin.
My head fell to one side as I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of Beau’s kisses and tugs. When his mouth started moving up, I looked down only to realize he wasn’t moving, I was sinking. My knees were slowly giving out as I descended to Beau’s lap.
When I straddled him at last, Beau’s mouth replaced his fingers on one of my breasts. The ache between my legs became desperate as he sucked and flicked my nipple with his tongue.
“Beau.” My soft plea filled the room.
“Lie down,” he ordered.
Once I was laid out on our sleeping-bag bed, Beau’s fingers started kneading my thighs. His strong fingers pushed hard into my denim-covered legs and ass, squeezing, then releasing until every muscle awakened. It was the most erotic massage I’d ever had. My hips were still resting on Beau’s thighs so I lifted them up, urging him to go after the button on my jeans.
With a quick flick, the button was undone and the zipper pulled down, revealing my pink lace panties. Carefully, Beau slid the jeans off my hips and ass, down one leg, then the other. His rushed movements from earlier were now slow and deliberate. My panties, which he could have shredded with minimal force, were carefully eased down inch by inch until he looped them off each foot and I was lying bare.
“Fuck, Sabrina.” The color of Beau’s eyes as he took in my naked body was breathtaking. The light, stormy blue-gray was gone and in its place was a ring of deep slate.
Holding his eyes, I pushed up on one elbow and reached for his jeans but he gently swatted my hand away. He stood to unbutton them himself so I lay back, content to watch. Off came his boots and socks, then his jeans. His familiar boxer briefs were tented at the front and my eyes widened as I finally got a glimpse of what was underneath the cotton.
Beau’s cock was enormous, just like I had suspected for a man of his size. With one hand at its root, Beau started stroking. My breath hitched at the beautiful sight of him thick and rock-hard, just for me.
Quickly, he put on a condom, then knelt between my open thighs, coming down on top of me and resting his weight on a forearm. As his chest hair rubbed against my nipples, I arched up, wanting to feel his skin against mine as he pushed inside.
“I’m big, angel,” he said, gripping his cock and rubbing it in my wetness. “Tell me if I hurt you.”
I nodded and gulped, willing myself to stay relaxed, but Beau didn’t thrust inside like I had expected. Instead, he kissed me again. All of my worries about his size disappeared as he kissed me lazily, his tongue working magic to clear my mind. The only thing I felt was burning desire and a throbbing, desperate ache.
Of course, he knew that. He knew his lips were magical, that they held the power to erase any thought that might flitter through my mind. All that was left was burning desire.
“Beau, please,” I breathed.
He broke away and hovered above me, then inch by inch, he pressed inside. His hips rocked back and forth until he was buried as deeply as I could take him. My inner muscles burned and protested as they stretched, but soon the pain was gone and I sighed, ready for Beau to move.
“Eyes on me, Sabrina,” he whispered. His strokes started slow, his body hovering over mine as he stared into my eyes. His sheer size alone had me trembling and on edge. But as I built closer and closer to my release, Beau’s restraint lessened. With a power unmatched by any man in my past, his hips hammered deep, proving what I had once suspected.
Beau could fuck a girl into oblivion.
His cock hit just the right spot over and over, and before I could warn him I was coming, the most intense and blinding orgasm of my life exploded, ripping through every muscle of my body.
“Fuck,” Beau groaned as I clenched around him, pulsing and squeezing his cock. “Fuck, you are beautiful.”
The white spots in my vision finally cleared and I opened my eyes to watch Beau as he kept thrusting. My hands traced up and down his chest, then snaked around his sides and drifted toward his ass. When my fingers dug into the hard muscle, the cords in his neck tightened and his arms started shaking. Then with a loud groan and hiss, Beau’s eyes snapped shut as he found his own release.
He managed not to crush me as he relaxed, giving me his weight for a brief second before twisting us both so I was lying limp on his chest. My head rested in the crook of his neck as we both returned from the stars.
“Definitely not horrible,” I panted.
He chuckled, then framed my face with his hands, lifting it up to give me a quick kiss. “We better go again just to be sure.”
My laughter was interrupted by another spectacular Beau kiss.
Then we double-checked that the sex wasn’t horrible.