“Looks like we’re going to get a sky show after all,” Beau said, staring out the kitchen window.
“What do you mean?”
“There’s a thunderstorm rolling in.”
I squeezed in next to Beau to look outside. Between the trees, the sky was darkening to an ominous gray, and the wind was whipping the tops of the evergreens.
“Cool! I love thunderstorms. Seattle rarely gets them but back home in Florida they happened all the time. Lightning fascinates me.”
“You probably won’t see much from inside.”
I shrugged. “That’s okay. It’s still cool.”
He sighed. “I hope it doesn’t hit town until after the fireworks show.”
I smiled, knowing he didn’t want his little brother’s big night to be ruined by the weather. “Me neither.”
“Tomorrow we’ll have to take a walk in the meadow,” he said. “It’ll smell pretty fucking awesome after a good rain.”
“Sounds great.” I went back to the dishes in the sink. While I washed, Beau dried and put them away, our movements so in sync, we were like a couple that had done this together for years.
We had come back from the waterfall and spent some time apart. I’d written while Beau had cut up a fallen tree and chopped it for firewood. Even though it was summer, I’d been lighting a fire at night to ward off the chill. I rarely used the electric baseboard heaters now that I knew how to build a fire. Only once had I made the mistake of smoking up the outpost because I hadn’t set the vent correctly. Luckily, Beau hadn’t been here when that had happened so my embarrassment—and smoky home—had only been shared with Boone.
By the time Beau had come inside from chopping wood, my somber mood from earlier had disappeared. I’d volunteered to cook our steaks and make a salad, then we’d eaten at our makeshift cooler table on the floor, chatting about nothing serious, before we’d gotten up to do the dishes.
“Want to play a game?” Beau asked, putting away the last plate and pulling out two glasses.
“Sure. Cribbage?”
“Or gin.”
“Cribbage. You always beat me at gin.”
He chuckled while filling up our glasses with the whiskey he’d brought earlier. Grabbing a couple cubes from the freezer’s plastic ice trays, he plopped them into the glasses and handed one over.
I took a small sip, wincing as the burn spread down my throat and into my belly.
“Not a fan?” Beau asked.
“Whiskey is Felicity’s thing, not mine. If there isn’t red wine, I default to top-shelf tequila.”
“Good to know. Next time.”
I smiled, hoping there would be a next time and that the rekindled closeness between us wouldn’t vanish when he got back to town. I had missed him being at the outpost these last couple of months. Not just because I was lonely but because I’d often found myself wanting to tell him something or ask him a question.
Without a doubt, I would miss Beau a great deal when I went back home to Seattle.
An hour and two glasses of whiskey later, I was tipsy and had gotten my ass kicked at cribbage.
“I give up.” I threw my cards on the deck. My slightly inebriated state made me happy and curious along with really bad at simple math. “Let’s play a new game. For the rest of the night, we can ask each other anything we want and the other person has to answer.”
“Isn’t that what we always do?” he asked. “You badger me with personal questions until I finally give in.”
I giggled. “Yes, but this time I won’t have to badger you.”
“I’m game but we each get a pass at one question.”
“Agreed.”
Beau stood from the floor and put the cribbage board away, then quickly started a fire before going to the kitchen to refill his drink.
When he tipped the bottle at me, I shook my head. “I think I’ll switch to water.”
I’d had enough to drink, and if I kept going, there was a real chance my already-too-thin verbal filter would disintegrate like wet toilet paper. The last thing I needed was to go blurting how much I wanted Beau to satisfy the three-month-long craving I had for him.
Beau came back into the main room and settled against the wall on the opposite side from my log chair where I was now sitting. His long legs ate up the short distance between us. With his bare feet aimed my way, I got a good look at just how big they were.
“What size shoe do you wear?” He gave me a strange look but before he could comment, I said, “Remember. We agreed no badgering.”
He grinned. “Thirteen.” Big. Oh, boy.
I smiled. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Now it’s your turn.”
“Most embarrassing moment from when you were a kid.”
“Probably when Janessa and I tried drinking for the first time. We got smashed on cinnamon schnapps and I puked all over myself and the boy I had a crush on. He never talked to me again. Even after all these years, I still can’t stomach the taste of artificial cinnamon.”
“No Big Red gum?”
I made a sour face and he laughed.
“My turn.” I shifted on the chair as the wind outside the outpost started howling. “What’s the scariest thing to ever happen to you?”
Beau leaned his head back against the wall and spoke to the ceiling. The tortured look on his face made me want to take back my question.
“A couple of years ago, Jess, one of his deputies and me were up in the woods searching for a meth house. We found it, but before we could check it out, an old propane tank exploded. It was some sort of trap. Milo, the deputy, got third-degree burns. Jess got thrown into a fallen tree and a branch punctured his side. Lucky for me, I was far enough away that it just knocked me down but they both almost died that day.”
“God. I’m so sorry.” My hand went to my chest. The pain in his voice was palpable.
He lifted his head off the wall. “We got lucky. Both of them survived. But Gigi, Jess’s wife, was at the hospital when I brought them in. She’s a nurse. The scariest moment of my life was when I was sitting with her, waiting for a doctor to come out and tell us if Jess was going to live. I knew if he didn’t make it, I’d see her heart break.”
I sat silent and stunned. Beau wouldn’t meet my eyes. He just kept staring at the ceiling as he relived the memory.
Me and my damn questions. I hadn’t thought that question through. It had just come flying out of my mouth and now I’d dredged up that awful pain for him to relive.
“I don’t know what to say,” I whispered. “I’m sorry. I think we’d better quit this game.”
He shook his head and looked back down. “Don’t be sorry, Sabrina. I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Maybe just make the next question a little lighter.”
“I can do that. Your turn?”
“You go again.”
I smiled, thinking of a topic sure to cheer him up. “Okay, I’ve got one. Who’s your favorite sibling?”
“Michael.” He grinned but then pointed his index finger at me in warning. “But if you ever tell Maisy, I’m taking you over my knee.”
“I’ll take it to my grave.” I held up three fingers in the scout’s salute. “Why Michael? I would have bet good money that you’d say Maisy.”
He shrugged. “I love my sister, don’t get me wrong. But Michael and I have always been tight. He used to be my shadow growing up. A lot of guys I knew would have hated their little brother tailing them around but it never bothered me. He was my little buddy.”
“What’s the age difference between you guys?” Beau had graduated with Felicity so I knew we were both thirty-four.
“Maisy is six years younger than me. Michael is nine. Mom had some health problems after I was born so they waited awhile to have more kids.”
We talked about his parents and siblings until he started asking me about mine. Then the conversation veered to even lighter topics. I learned that we both hated folding socks more than any other household chore, including toilet scrubbing. We both had a deep love for chocolate and his aversion to strawberry yogurt was as strong as mine was to blueberry.
After a couple of hours, I had completely forgotten this was a game. The back and forth was so easy and comfortable it felt like the best date I’d ever had.
The buzz from my whiskey had faded and I decided to have a little more before bed. I went to the kitchen to refill my glass and did the same for Beau, but just as I was walking back to deliver his drink, a bright flash filled the room, immediately followed by a deafening crack of thunder.
My whole body jolted and whiskey sloshed in our tall cups. Had they been any fuller, I would have gotten an alcohol shower. I started to relax but lightning flashed again and a boom rattled my bones.
“You okay?” Beau asked, sitting up off the wall.
I shook my head. “I like to watch thunderstorms, not be in the middle of one. That felt way too close.” At any moment, lightning was bound to strike a tree and it would fall onto the outpost.
He chuckled and patted the floor next to him. “Come and sit. We’re completely safe inside.”
I hustled to the floor and settled in close with my knees pulled into my chest. When another flash and crack split the air, Beau’s arm came around my shoulders and he tucked me tighter into his side. On his other side was a freaked-out Boone.
We all sat quietly, listening to the wind and rain beat against the outpost’s walls and roof. When the thunder and lightning finally blew over, my body relaxed and I started to breathe deeply again.
The thunderstorm left a steady rain in its wake and the drops dinged and drizzled loudly against the tin roof. The noise was comforting, louder than a rainy day in Seattle, but so blissfully familiar that I melted further into Beau’s side.
“I missed the rain,” I whispered. “It feels like home.”
Beau’s frame deflated and he pushed out a pained breath. I couldn’t even begin to guess why.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” he muttered.
“You have to tell me. Game rules.”
“Then I’ll take my pass.”
My spirits fell. “Okay.”
What did that mean? Why wouldn’t he tell me what was wrong? The questions begged to be asked but I respected his decision to pass and let them be. Still, I didn’t understand how my love of the rain could possibly be upsetting.
“Hey.” He squeezed my shoulder and gave me a small smile. “I’m fine. Let’s keep playing. Ask me a different question.”
“Okay.” I thought for a few moments before asking, “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
“Disney World,” he answered immediately.
I smiled, glad he was teasing me to lighten the mood. “No, seriously. Where would you go?”
“Disney World,” he repeated.
My smile dropped. “Why?” He had promised to take me there when the Federovs were no longer a threat. Was it because he wanted to see me again? Would he miss me too after I was gone?
“Because that means you’re safe from the Federovs,” he said, “and this whole mess will be over.”
Right. He didn’t want to see me again. He wanted to be done with this mess.
The hope I’d felt seconds ago vanished. When I was gone, Beau would go back to his normal life and forget all about the headache that I’d caused him this summer.
“I think we’d better take Disney World off the table,” I said. “Once this mess is over, I’m sure you’ll be glad to be free of me. I don’t want you to feel obligated to meet me at a kid’s resort just because we were joking around.”
I picked up my glass to take a drink, but before the plastic rim hit my lips, Beau grabbed it out of my hand. With a loud clink, he set it on the floor.
“What just happened?” he asked.
“I’m letting you off the hook.”
“No, you’re taking away something I was looking forward to. Why?”
My eyes found his. “You’re looking forward to it?”
“Yes. Of course.” His face was so gentle and soft, I realized I’d made the wrong assumption when he’d called this a mess.
My head fell against his chest and I snaked an arm around his waist. “Me too.”
We both sat quietly, enjoying the sound of the rain and Boone snoring softly on the floor. I didn’t move my arm, and as time went on, I rested further against Beau. My knees fell from their upright position to drape across his big thigh while my head burrowed further into his shoulder.
Eventually, his cheek hit the top of my head and his breathing slowed. But before either one of us fell asleep, I had to ask one more question.
“Beau?”
“Hmm.”
“Why did you stop spending the night?” I whispered.
“You know why,” he whispered back.
I did. We had gotten too close. The intimacy of sleeping together was far too tempting. Had he not put that distance between us, we would have wound up doing much more than cuddling.
Yet here we were again, curled into one another. Though we both knew separation was for the best, neither one of us could resist the pull. My body fit into Beau’s side like a missing puzzle piece. He filled my heart like his waterfall filled its pool—until it was overflowing.
“Will you promise me something, Beau?”
“Sure.”
“Before I leave, will you kiss me? Just once?”
“Sabrina, we—”
“I know,” I interrupted him. “Two different worlds, I remember. One day I’ll go back to my life and you’ll be here with yours. But I’ll always wonder what it would have been like.”
He lifted his cheek from my head and reached for my chin, tipping it back. “That’s not what I was going to say.”
“It isn’t?”
“We would never stop at just a kiss.”
I smiled. “Would that be so bad?”
“Woman, it would be fucking incredible.”
My smile got wider. I had no doubt that he was right. A rush of heat went straight to my core and the intensity between my legs skyrocketed so quickly I wondered if Beau could feel my throbbing through the floorboards.
“But . . .” No! He lifted his hand up and lightly stroked my cheek. “You’re not ready.”
“Ready for what?”
“For me.”
What did that mean? I was more than ready for Beau and had been for months. Was it my appearance? I normally did myself up a bit more if I knew I was going to have sex and tonight I definitely wasn’t looking my best.
My hair was in a messy knot on top of my head. My roots were showing and I needed some highlights and a trim like no one’s business. My nails hadn’t gone this long without a manicure since high school. But beauty-regimen issues aside, I was still a pretty woman that was practically lying on his lap and definitely willing to have sex.
What was he waiting for? My pride wouldn’t let me ask.
I stayed quiet, hoping he would explain further, but after a few brutal minutes, I realized that I’d just been rejected. Again.
It was time to regain our usual distance.
“It’s probably for the best,” I said. “We’ve both been drinking and it’s been an emotional day.” I patted Beau’s flat stomach and peeled myself away from his side. “We’d better call it a night.”
“Hey—” Beau started.
“It’s fine. I’m just tired,” I lied.
Before he could stop me, I hustled into the bathroom and closed the door. The cold water I splashed on my face did little to relieve the hot flush of embarrassment.
After finishing my nightly routine, I came back out to the main room, relieved that Beau had kept our beds separate. He was on the floor. I was on my cot. Without delay, I got into my bed.
“Sabrina—”
“Good night, Beau,” I said, turning my back to him and facing the wall. The talking portion of our evening was over.
Beau sighed. “Night, Shortcake.”
Maybe in my dreams, I’d get a kiss because I had no idea what it would take to get one for real.
“Morning.”
I gave Beau a small smile and a wide berth but didn’t respond. Instead, my eyes stayed firmly locked on the coffee machine as I maneuvered around him to the counter.
“Sabrina.”
I ignored that too. My embarrassment from last night hadn’t faded a bit.
“Hey, can you look at me?” he asked. When I didn’t move, he did his jungle growl.
I turned from my coffee cup and leaned back against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Look, we need to talk about last night,” he said.
“We don’t. Let’s forget it.”
“I had fun last night. I’m not going to forget about it.”
Fun? Rejecting me when I’d asked him to kiss me had been fun? Telling me I wasn’t ready for sex with him, whatever the hell that meant, had been fun?
Embarrassment morphed to utter mortification and then to blood-boiling anger. Heat rose from my chest and up my throat, but before I breathed fire, I clenched my teeth together so hard my molars hurt.
“I pissed you off,” he guessed.
Opening my mouth still wasn’t safe so I widened my eyes and nodded vigorously.
“Would you mind telling me how?”
Men! Did they always need women to spell things out? Fine. I’d make his mistake perfectly clear. His innocent expression was doing nothing to save him.
With one hand firmly planted on my hip and the other holding up three fingers, I let my temper rip. “Number one. When a beautiful woman asks you to kiss her, unless you’re married, have a girlfriend or have a damn good reason not to, do the right thing and kiss her. Number two. If you don’t kiss her, it is not an appropriate excuse to tell her that it’s because sex between you would be incredible. That makes it worse! And number three. When you completely embarrass a woman, the last thing you should say was that it was fun!”
I added a fourth finger, not exactly sure what it would entail, but he stopped my rant by stepping into my space and hoisting me up on the counter.
“Beau, I hate to be hauled around,” I said through clenched teeth.
“Quiet and listen. It’s my turn.” He said it loudly enough that I shut my mouth. Somewhere during my rant his innocent expression had hardened in frustration. “I told you that if I kissed you, we wouldn’t stop there. There was no way I was fucking you the same day you told me that you considered yourself a whore. That’s my damn good reason for not kissing you last night.”
My teeth stopped grinding together and my spine relaxed. That was a good reason. Damn.
“I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” he said. “I’m not sure what kind of assholes you’re used to spending time around but I don’t get off on hurting a woman’s feelings or embarrassing her.”
My embarrassment came back but this time at my own hand. Beau was one of the good guys and I had just gone off the deep end and assumed the worse.
“Okay,” I said, holding up my hands. “I’m sorry.” I had no desire to fight and I was woman enough to know I’d just been beaten in that argument.
Beau jerked back an inch, staring at me with wary eyes. “That’s it?”
I nodded. “You’ve won your case.”
“This was too easy. It feels like a trap.” His eyes narrowed. “Is this going to come back and bite me in the ass?”
I grinned. “No. Once my bruised ego heals, this will be all but forgotten.” Though it might take a day or two. Beau’s refusal to kiss me had been quite the blow.
“I didn’t mean to bruise your ego.”
“Then what did you mean when you said I wasn’t ready?” It had been bothering me all night and morning. These cryptic messages he had been giving me were making me crazy.
“That you’re not ready. When you are, you’ll be the first to know.”
My head fell and I spoke to my knees. “I don’t know what that means.”
“I know. You just have to trust me.” His thumb hooked under my chin and lifted it up. “Christ,” he muttered. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like your heart hurts. It’s killing me.”
“I’m fine.” I reached up and put my hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The heat from his skin flowed through my hand to my elbow. When my grip lingered, he inched closer, stepping between my legs spread wide on the counter where he had me trapped.
The angry fire in his eyes was gone, replaced with a dark heat. Without thinking about my movements, my hand traveled from his shoulder to his heart. Under my fingers, its thundering pace matched my own.
“Beau.” His name came out in a breathless plea.
“Fuck it,” he growled.
“Huh?”
His soft, full lips came crashing down on mine. His tongue thrust inside at the same time he erased the remaining inches separating us. I unpinned my arm from his chest to throw it over his shoulder while the other went immediately to his hair.
With one roll of his hips, the hardness behind his jeans rubbed against my center. Even through my own jeans, I could feel how much he wanted me. One of my legs wound around his hips, putting my pulsing core right against his cock again. My moan spurred Beau’s tongue to ravage and his teeth to nip.
Kissing Beau was all-consuming. It was brazen, yet tender. The most beautiful words in the world couldn’t describe how his lips turned me to liquid in his arms. We each poured all of the sexual frustration and desire from the last few months into this kiss, neither of us breaking apart even to breathe.
His palms spanned my ribs as his fingers balled up the loose material of my T-shirt. When they found bare skin, I lost any shred of control and tugged harder on Beau’s hair, urging him to give me more.
Instead, he ripped his lips away from mine when Boone’s barking echoed off the walls. The quick change made my head spin so fast I had to grip the counter’s edge to keep from falling off.
“Fuck,” Beau cursed.
“What?” I panted.
“Someone’s coming. Stay here.”
Without another word, he grabbed the gun from on top of the fridge and walked outside. Standing by his truck, he waited for the approaching vehicle to appear on the road to the outpost. When a red truck emerged from behind the trees, Beau shook his head and jogged back inside.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“Michael. Stay inside.”
What was Beau’s brother doing here? I didn’t get the chance to ask. Beau put the gun away and ran back outside just in time to greet our two visitors.
Hidden behind the door and peeking out through its crack, I could see both men shake hands with Beau. I knew Michael right away because of his resemblance to his older brother. Michael’s large frame wasn’t as muscular as Beau’s and he was missing the beard but they shared the same angular shoulders, straight nose and square jaw.
The other man was a few inches shorter than the Holt brothers but he had an incredible physique. His short brown beard matched the color of his shaggy hair, and when he gave Beau a playful smile, it was clear that the men were good friends.
When all three turned toward the outpost, I flew away from the door, scrambling backward to stand in the center of the room and attempt to look like I hadn’t been spying on them.
Beau entered first and didn’t waste any time with introductions. “Sabrina, this is my brother, Michael.” After shaking Michael’s hand, Beau continued. “And this is Nick Slater.”
“Nice to meet you both.”
“Sabrina’s out here studying our pine beetle problem,” Beau lied. “She’s over here from Washington.”
I nodded and smiled, playing along with Beau’s story. I could ask him later what the hell a pine beetle was.
“These guys are here because the storm last night caused a fire about five miles up the mountain,” Beau said.
“Sorry, Sabrina,” Nick said, “but you’re about to get invaded. There’s a forest fire crew on their way here.”