Chapter Two
Four Months Later
Her body is so beautiful, she is so beautiful.
Trailing my tongue along the curve of her neck, she squirms from beneath me. Every fiber of my being is drawn to her and the pleasure she seeks from my touch. Right now, in this exact moment, we are secluded in our own world. This can’t last forever and I know as soon as she leaves in the morning everything will come to an end. She is my stranger in the night, my perfect little secret. Nothing can pull me away from her, she has me locked in a trance and I just can’t get enough of the way her skin feels against mine.
Not wanting to waste another second of our fleeting time together, I slowly move my way down her small frame, kissing every inch of her exposed body. As I lick, nip and suck her smooth skin, her fingertips find their way into my hair. The more I taunt her, the harder she pulls onto the strands encouraging me to move toward the one place she desperately craves my tongue.
As I hover over her mound, I softly blow a breath of air over her wetness. Her legs squeeze tightly against my form while her hands push my head into her warmth before grabbing onto my shoulders. At first I start off slowly, tracing my tongue around her pulsating sweet spot before I satisfy my own yearning of tasting the rest of her. The more I feast, the louder her cries of ecstasy sound within the confines of my room. Wanting her to experience the most sensual high, I insert two fingers into her wetness pushing in and out of her as her walls clamp down. Her legs begin to tremble, her moans increase as her fingernails dig into my flesh. She’s close and I love the way I’m able to make her come undone around me. Biting down onto her clit, I quicken my pace and look up to see her head is thrown back and her perfect lips shaped in an O as she screams my name.
The wave of passion running through her intensifies my need to be inside of her. Lifting myself to hover over her body, my lips crash down onto hers. Our tongues mingle together as the taste of her climax relishes against our lips. Wanting nothing more than to fill the desire raging between us, I thrust myself into her as she wraps her legs around my hips. Together our bodies unite as one, sweat beginning to coat our skin. My pace quickens, her hot breath lingering against my skin while she kisses my neck causing goosebumps to form over my body. There is no better feeling in the world than what we are experiencing right now. Passion, lust and longing pulse through us as our bodies satisfy everything we need right in this moment. Running my hand along her smooth stomach to her mound, I press a fingertip on her clit causing her hips to buck against mine. The faster I push in and out of her, her muscles tighten. With each thrust, her moans of passion bring me closer to the edge. Lifting my face mere inches from hers, I look intently into her deep brown eyes as her body begins to tremble and she falls apart around me.
I don’t want this moment to end, yet I know that it can’t last. Together we lie connected in a tangled web of arms and legs. As I gently rub my fingers up and down her side, I place a gentle kiss to her forehead. Before long, her breath slows to a steady pace and I glance to see a peaceful smile resting across her face. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known, the one who has had my heart for as long as I can remember.
Silently I whisper, “I love you, doll face.”
Pulling her closer into my arms, I close my eyes wishing this night would never end. Dreams fill my mind of a happily after that will never become my reality. She isn’t mine and she never will be.
The annoying sound of my alarm pulls me from my sleep. Reaching my arm out onto the other side of the mattress, my fingers feel nothing but an empty, cold sheet. My eyes shoot open, sadness quickly filling my chest as I realize she has already up and left. I don’t know why I suddenly feel so hollow. I knew she wouldn’t stay when she woke, she never does. Rolling over, I grab onto the pillow and clutch it tightly to my chest. The sweet scent of her hair lingers on the fabric and I’m instantly reminded of the night before.
She plagues my every thought, the memories we’ve shared and the ways our mouths, hands and bodies have savored the other. For the past few months, I’ve been the most content I’ve ever been. I know I swore that I wouldn’t let my walls down, but at this point it’s too late. She’s had me hook, line and sinker right from the start. Now that we’ve spent all this time together . . . alone, I can’t help but wish things could be different. We had an arrangement, something that I thought would work for the two of us, but over time it’s become crystal clear that I’ve fallen harder than I ever thought I could. My heart has betrayed my mind. No matter how much I mentally remind myself that it’s just sex, I know very well that it’s more.
I should probably feel like the lowest piece of shit on the planet. What I’m doing is insane, it’s morally wrong. The moments of guilt have sat in the pit of my stomach, yet they’re easily erased when she’s here with me. I’ve been waging a war within my subconscious but here I am wishing she was still lying next to me. Scum . . . that’s what I am and in only a few days I’ll be face to face with the decisions I’ve . . . no, we’ve made.
Sitting up in my bed, I look toward the far wall and out the large window. As the rain falls against the pane and the wind whips through the trees, I sense the same storm wreaking havoc within my head. Not only have I been experiencing mind blowing sex with the woman of my dreams, I’ve been savoring every inch of her body in the most intimate moments.
Fucking hell! Thinking about it causes my heart to race and my dick to twitch beneath the sheets. In one thought I’m happy, yet in the next I can’t stand to live with the things I’ve done. The devil harps on my shoulder coaxing me on, telling me to live life and enjoy the moments we’ve shared together, but then there’s the angel shouting through my mind that I need to cut ties and run . . . run as far away as I can. Shit, if it were that simple I would have done the right thing months ago. Instead I allowed her into my life, into my bed and into my heart.
Lifting myself off of the mattress, I move through my small one-bedroom apartment in search of some caffeine. With all the energy I can muster, I start the coffee pot anxiously awaiting the warm jolt of energy. As the liquid begins to perk, my eyes gaze around the small space. This place has been my temporary home for the past six months and in two weeks I’ll be leaving to head back to Brooklyn.
I’m not exactly sure if I’m ready for that.
I’ve created my own world here and my schedule is pretty damn locked tight. In the morning I get up, go to the gym, head to work and do my thing, leave work and I’m right back to the gym. The days fly by faster than I could imagine, but I’ve kept my word. The one thing I promised Birch when I left was that I’d keep up with my training regime. I’ve already missed the first round fights and I’ll be damned if my lack of discipline disqualifies me for the next.
Drumming my fingers on top of the counter, I release a built-up sigh as the anxiety of it all hits me harder than a ton of bricks. Being away from everyone and everything for so long, it’s as if I’m not even supposed to be there anymore. I’ve distanced myself from just about everyone but Ma. She’s kept me in the loop with the local neighborhood gossip, the fact that Mike moved out of the loft and Hank . . . well, that’s a whole other shit storm I’ll have to deal with.
The thought of seeing my twin sends a wave of uneasiness into the pit of my stomach. Hence why I’d rather stay up state and away from it all, everything except her.
Fuck!!
Slamming the palm of my hand onto the top of the counter, frustration and resentment rage through my veins. If only the things in life we wanted the most weren’t so complicated. Gripping my fists together, I attempt to compose myself.
Two weeks. Two weeks is all the time I have to figure everything out before I leave.
Now all I need to do is wrap up the job and the life I’ve built here over the past few months. Simple as that, I can do that . . . right?
But that’s where the problem lies. It’s not leaving here that I’m worried about. It’s how I’ll deal with the lives that kept on living while I was away from Brooklyn. We’ve all changed in our own ways, I’m sure of it. What I’m just not sure of is if I’m prepared for what’s to come when I step back into that life.
I wish I could stay here. I’d much rather stay here, keep to myself and do my own thing, but my work here is just about done and it’s time to face reality.
If nothing else, this time away has shown me that I can indeed push myself to the limits. I’ve finally lived on my own and away from my family. I’ve successfully mastered my craft leading a team to complete one hell of a job and I’ve worked hard to become the best fighter I can be . . . on my own. The skills I’ve been taught throughout the years will always stick with me, but now knowing I can achieve what I have without the help of anyone from back home, it’s a feeling of satisfaction I didn’t realize I was missing. I relied so much on the support and motivation of the men around me, I lost the confidence I needed to live life my way.
The sound of my cell chirping on the small dinette table pulls my attention to the other side of the room. Glancing to the time on the microwave a smile spreads across my face as I reach for my phone.
“Morning, Ma,” I state shuffling my feet back toward the now full pot of coffee.
“Morning, sunshine,” she coos through the line.
“You’re right on time as usual. How was your weekend?” I ask pouring the steaming liquid into the giant mug.
“Oh, honey, I don’t want to bore you with the details of Brooklyn. I just wanted to see if you need anything.”
“Nah, Ma. What would I need?”
“Umm well, since you’re coming home in a few weeks I was umm . . . well, I was wondering if you’ll be moving back in here for a bit until you get yourself settled.”
Unsure where she’s going with this, I move into the living room and plop down onto the couch.
“Ma, why would I move back in with you, Hank still has the loft . . . right?”
“Mmhhmm, yes, he does, dear, but I was just thinking maybe it’s not such a good idea for you two to be under the same roof right away.”
Jesus, Mary and Joseph . . . there’s no way she knows.
“Ma?”
“Trenton, listen to me. I love you and your brother with all my heart and that will never change. It just seems best that you come home here, we’ll work out the rest in due time.”
“Yeah, I love you too, Ma, but what in the hell would make you think Hank . . .”
“Shh, let’s not discuss this over the phone, honey.”
“Discuss what, Ma? You’re really starting to worry me . . . what the hell is going on?”
“Ugh . . . I was really hoping we could discuss this in person. How about I come up for a visit this weekend and we’ll sit down and chat.”
“Ma,” I state in a raised tone. “No disrespect, but you can’t lay something like that out there and leave me hanging for days. What’s going on?”
“No disrespect taken, let’s just say I met with Mrs. Morris for coffee this morning and she may or may not had a case of verbal diarrhea. Look, I’m not judging you or anything that I may have heard, but I do think you and I need to sit down and have a chat. I raised good boys and although you are an adult and can make your own decisions, I can still provide my input on things like this. Look, sweetie, I’m about to go under the dryer at the salon I’ll call you back later today and make arrangements for me to visit in a few days. I gotta go. I love you, Trenton.”
She disconnects the call and my head instantly begins to spin with what Mrs. Morris may or may not have told her. It doesn’t make sense. We agreed we wouldn’t say a word to anyone. Obviously, she fell short on her end of the bargain.