Chapter Seven
Fumbling with a loose thread hanging off the end of my dress, I sit patiently waiting for a return text. It’s been days since I heard a peep from Trenton and I’m beginning to wonder what’s going on with him . . . with us.
“Taryn. Earth to Taryn,” Traci’s voice sings.
Looking up to her, I fight the tears welling up within my eyes.
“He’s ignoring me. He’s acting like I have the plague and won’t even speak to me,” I mutter to her.
“You need to relax, pretty lady. He has a lot on his mind right now. Of all people, you should know this. He’s been away for a while and has a shit ton of catching up to do. To be honest, I don’t think Gus or your dad were planning on allowing him to fight.”
“What?” I respond in shock.
Why on God’s green Earth would my father even think such a thing. Trenton is one, if not the best fighter at the Cage. They’d be absolute morons to exclude him.
“Why would they even consider that?” I ask.
“Taryn, it’s not going to happen. Both of them know better than to keep Trenton away. All I was saying was that he has a lot on his plate. I’m certain he’s not ignoring you.”
Looking to her, I stick my tongue out before displaying a mighty fine pout. I don’t want to seem like a diva or needy, but . . . but. Sigh! As much as I understand what she’s saying, I don’t like it one bit. I miss him. I miss our alone time and the weekends we spent far away, just the two of us. Since he’s been back in Brooklyn, we’ve barely spoken.
“I’m at a loss and unsure what direction I should go. Do I continue to reach out to him? Should I let him be? What if I back off and lose him forever? It feels like I just found him and I’m scared to death that I’m going to lose him.”
“Stop over analyzing this, Taryn. Be there for him. Trust in what you two have shared. If it is meant to be, it will.”
Plopping down on the chair, I swirl myself around and around until I’m dizzy. She’s right. I’m probably overthinking everything. I know Trenton cares about me. I know he’s busting his ass. I just need to get right with myself and be there when he’s ready. Yup, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.
“Girl, grab your shit,” I state before standing from the chair and heading toward the door.
“Huh?” she responds cocking her head in confusion.
“Come on. We’re going shopping. I need to clear my head and what better way to do it than a little retail therapy.”
“What exactly are we shopping for?” she asks with a raise of her brow.
“You silly. Your adorable baby bump needs some new clothes. Let me spoil you and my future niece.”
“No, no, there’s no reason for you to do that. I’m perfectly capable . . . wait! You said niece. Do you know something I don’t? I mean I feel like the baby will be a girl, but what the hell do I know. This is my first rodeo and all. Oh my goodness, Mike will flip with excitement. I should call him. Are you sure? Could you be certain? You’re not a skilled professional and it’s not like you’ve looked up my hoo-ha. Not like you could tell by looking up there, but wow . . . just wow.”
Watching as she bounces around the room, I’m unable to contain my laughter, I let it burst out. Holding my hand over my mouth, I feel the need to sit back down before I piddle on the floor.
“You are killing me lady. I have to admit that you may just be the cutest and most excited pregnant lady I’ve ever known. I’m so glad I get to share in this experience with you and watch you transform into a mommy.”
Her excitement quickly turns into a wall of tears.
What in the hell?
Jumping out of the chair, I rush to her side.
“What’s the matter?” I ask while soothing her back with the palm of my hand.
“These stupid hormones. They have me all out of whack. I’m happy. I really am, I promise. I can’t seem to keep myself steady on one emotion. I fucking cried over a car commercial yesterday. You know, the one where the dad watches his daughter pull out of the drive way. There’s a flash back of her childhood and then BAM, she’s driving away in a car.” She pauses for a moment while wiping away the tears. “Crazy, I know. I can’t help myself. I’m a hot mess of spiraling emotions.”
“You are fine and it’s completely normal. Now go wash away the tears and let’s go shopping. My treat, no arguments,” I scold with a pointed finger.
A smile forms across her beautifully glowing face as she hugs me tightly.
“Thank you so much, Taryn. You’re an amazing friend and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“The feeling is quite mutual. You’ve been such an important part of my life the last few years, it’s time I return the favor,” I remark, feeling tears coming back of my own.
With a sniffle, I pull away from her embrace and wipe my eyes.
“Now look at us. We are an interesting duo here. There’s no need for you to start crying. Your body isn’t filled with hormonal rage,” she giggles.
“No, no way,” I respond waving my hands in the air. “There’s absolutely no way that is possible.”
Taking a moment, I think back to every time I was intimate with Trenton. We’ve been careful and extremely cautious. Neither one of us would ever want to make a mistake like that in the moment of passion . . . but would it be a mistake? Would it really be so bad?
Oh my God, Taryn. Snap out of it. How could I, err . . . how could we?
“Girl, you’ve got some serious issues falling into the overthinking department. Shake it off, we’ve got some shopping to do.”
“You’re right. Get ready and I’ll just be out here shaking away all the ridiculous thoughts scampering through my mind,” I reply in an awkward giggle.
“Good girl. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right out.”
“Perfect!” I exclaim while clapping my hands together.
As I watch her walk away and down her hallway, I close my eyes and count to ten. Once I’m ready to open my eyes. I decide to focus on the here and now. Traci is absolutely right, all I’ve been doing is overanalyzing every possible negative outcome of my relationship with Trenton. I need to stop. I need to take every moment as it comes and trust everything will be okay. God, what in the hell would I do without her voice of reason? I love her and our friendship and I’m certain an afternoon away from everything will do us both a lot of good. I mean come on, who doesn’t like shopping after all?
With the sunset quickly darkening the sky, I park my car in front of my condo. Even for a serial shopper, today’s excursion has left me mentally and physically exhausted. Together, Traci and I spent hours window shopping, me watching her try on dozens of the cutest maternity clothes and finally me racking up the good ol’ credit card like there was no tomorrow. It was a “shop ‘til we drop” kind of day and she deserved every minute. There was no place I’d rather have been and the grin plastered across her face was enough to make my heart swell. As a smile of my own crosses my lips, I can’t hide the feelings that are swarming through my body. I’m overjoyed for her, I’m ecstatic for them and I honestly can’t wait to be a part of this journey.
Releasing another yawn, I grab the few things I purchased of my own and exit the car. As I turn on my heel, I’m embraced by the arms I’ve been waiting to touch for days. My eyes close, my fingers slowly moving up the curves and lines of his muscular back, mentally envisioning the beautiful inked designs etched into his skin. He is the most magnificent creature. Tears prick the inside of my eye lids, my heart racing faster and faster with each passing second. With my face tucked into his neck, I inhale the masculine scent of his cologne. My senses jolt into overdrive. I can’t hold back the emotions fluttering around my heart. My stomach falls as his touch loosens around my arms and I fight to hold on tighter. I don’t want him to let go. I don’t want to let him go. The fear of never feeling like this again guts me from within. I’ve missed his touch. I’ve missed his scent. I’ve missed him. Every nerve ending in my body reacts as he pulls away from me and the dam of tears breaks. I can’t control the sobs seeping from my lips. With trembling fingertips, he lifts my chin and wipes away the wetness falling from my eyes.
“Shh, don’t cry. Please don’t cry because of me,” he pleads before placing his lips against mine.
His lips pull me in, but I don’t want to open my eyes. I’m afraid that if I do, this will all be just a daydream. As he pulls my body in against his, a moan escapes my lungs. He takes advantage of the moment by sweeping his tongue into my mouth. The taste of him consumes me in ways I never thought was imaginable. My legs begin to quiver with need. The need I feel only when I’m with him. My fingertips move from his upper back into his hair, pulling ever so gently. With desire, I press my chest against his and deepen the kiss. My heart races beneath my shirt, I want him to take me inside and up to my room. I need him more than I ever have before.
Slowly he ends the intense moment, but not before placing soft kisses to my lips as my tears continue to fall.
“Taryn, please don’t cry. I’m begging you. I came here hoping you’d be home and to see you. I can see that you’ve been worrying. I know you better than just about anyone and I can guarantee you there’s no reason for you to be upset. I’m sorry I haven’t called or texted you back. I’m a pure asshole and have been sucked into my own issues. It’s wrong. I was wrong and I can’t apologize enough for pushing you away. We are in this together. I don’t want anyone else to be by my side here in Brooklyn. You’re it for me. It’s you, gorgeous. It’s only ever been you. Now, please open your beautiful eyes and let me see you.”
His voice is saddened. I can’t bear the fact that I’m the one causing it, yet I’m also scared of what is going to happen next. I can’t fight it any longer. What we have is real. The feelings that swarm through my body are not a figment of my imagination. I want with him, what I’ve never had with anyone else. I have to let the thoughts that are rushing through my head fall to the wayside, if not, I know that I’ll push him away for good.