Chapter Eight
As her body trembles beneath my touch, my heart aches for the pain I’ve caused her. I can only imagine how she’s been feeling the past few days, not to mention the thoughts I’m sure have been wreaking havoc in her mind. It’s my fault. There’s no one to blame other than myself. Squeezing my eyes shut, I regret every second I avoided her for the past few days.
Damn it, Trenton. You’re an idiot and about to throw away the one thing you’ve wanted more than the fight itself.
I’ve been so damn consumed with the Cage and how I would handle seeing my brother again, I completely turned her away. I’m a moron, a jackass who doesn’t deserve her, but I’ll be damned if I let her go and stop fighting for what I know we both want and need. I’m not lying when I tell her she is everything I’ve ever wanted in my life. She has to know that . . . right?
Opening my eyes, I look down to her, willing her to eyes to open. With the tip of my finger, I push a stray piece of hair away from her face and tuck it behind her ear while kissing her on the forehead. Her body slowly eases into mine as she releases a breath of air, her arms tightening around my body. Pulling her in tighter to my chest, I can feel the tension she’s been holding quickly dissipate. A sigh of relief falls over my own body knowing that she is slowly coming back to me. A smile spreads across my face watching her open her big, beautiful eyes. In this moment they are saddened in red, tears slowly falling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry I’m such a girl, Trenton. It’s just been so hard the last few days knowing you’re so close to me yet I couldn’t see or touch you. I miss you more than I ever thought was possible.”
“I know and I’m sorry I haven’t been around more. I should have been here with you and I don’t have any better excuse other than I was acting like a dick.”
“No,” she says stepping back and slapping her petite hand across my chest. “I may be a bit needier than I ever have been before, but I understand you have a lot going on in your own life. I won’t lie and say I haven’t been upset and sitting by the phone hoping to see you’ve sent a message or called. I certainly have and it drives me insane. We’ve known one another almost our entire lives and I’ve never needed you more than I do right now. I’m being overwhelmingly selfish and I know that. I’m trying, Trenton. I really am trying to give you your space here.”
Stepping away from her, I turn my back and my heart suddenly falls to the ground.
Shit! It guts me that she just said that?
“Trenton?” she calls out in a shaky tone.
I’m breaking her. She’s one of the most independent and strongest women I know and I’m causing her to crumble. I can’t do this, not to her. With my back to her all the possibilities of her eventually seeing the real me and walking away take over. I don’t know if I should just run now or turn around and tell her how I really feel. I’m scared. Seconds tick by, the night has gotten away from me as I look up to the now completely dark sky. I can’t take another moment questioning what’s about to happen. I’m a grown ass man and here I stand going mad. Just as turn to her, I see her body shift away from mine in the moonlight.
“Taryn,” I call out to her while running my fingers through my dark hair. “The last thing I want is for you to think I don’t want you. This is hard, so much harder than when we were together up state. Don’t you see? Don’t you realize I’ve wanted you since as long as I can remember,” I plead, taking a step toward her and extending my hand out to hers. With shaky hands, she grasps onto me, like I’m her lifeline. Looking deeply into her eyes, I know I need to let it all out. She has to know everything. “I’ve sat back and watched you live your life, watched you date guys I knew were never good enough to be in your presence and now, here I am questioning if I’m just as bad as them. It rips me apart inside to know that I’ve hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, yet I did it. I’m the one who has caused you to question everything between us over the last few days. I never want to hurt you. Seeing you upset is the last thing I want.”
My heart sinks.
“Oh, Trenton. Don’t beat yourself up like this. I don’t want you . . . how could you think that way? Yes, we’ve grown up. We’ve seen and witnessed the other in countless dead-end relationships, but all of it has brought us to where we are right now. I can’t say I regret a second of my past nor would I expect you to. The one thing I do know is that we are here together now. Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? I believe with every fiber of my being it will be everything we’ve ever hoped it could be.”
“You were about to walk away. How many times have you done that? How many times have you felt it wasn’t worth the risk and just left everything behind you for something better?” I ask, unsure I really want to know the answer.
The uncertainty and fear I am feeling is exactly what she’s been battling the last few days. I’m not alone in the fact that we are both scared of what will happen to us. It kills me that a woman as beautiful, smart and determined to win at everything is in fact scared of losing me.
“You’re right. I have walked away from relationships. Especially when things got rough, but I can promise you right now, I don’t want to walk away from you. I’m scared shitless of how much I feel I need you. Not just as one of my best friends, but because you are the man that I desperately need to be with me. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me until this last week. I grew attached to our conversations, your voice and your touch. Without all those things, I’ve felt lost. It’s not something I ever thought I’d feel, but with you it’s as though I can’t breathe when you’re not with me. Is that crazy?”
As she waits for a response, a smile spreads across my lips, I couldn’t be happier in knowing she feels the same way I do. I know more than ever that we are going to be okay. We will make it. Life has thrown us a few dozen curve balls in the last couple of months, but I won’t give up on her or us.
“No, baby. Nothing about us is crazy. We both have our own insecurities, but if we can see through that and trust in our feeling for each other, I know it’ll be okay.”
“Thank God!” she exclaims with a giggle. “Now take me inside and show me just how much you’ve been missing me.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I respond while leading her toward her home.
Together we walk faster than I thought humanly possible knowing what we anticipate will happen once inside. As we approach the door, Taryn fumbles with the keys until the door finally opens. Before she has a chance to flip the light switch, my arms pull her to me. Urgency takes over as our bodies collide, her lips crashing onto mine and our tongues dancing to a rhythm only we can feel.
Adrenaline surges through me as my cock quickly springs to life. I can’t wait another moment, I want her and I need to touch, feel and taste her now. Reaching for the hem of her dress, I take a step back and pull it over the top of her head. I want nothing more than to gaze at her gorgeous body, but in this exact second, I don’t want to waste any more time. I have to have her. Bending down onto my knees, I run my hands down her sides to her hips. Leaning forward, I pepper kisses against her smooth stomach and remove her panties. Burying my face into her most sensitive area I inhale her delicious scent. She softly lets out a moan of pleasure as her fingertips tangle into my hair encouraging me to keep going. My tongue licks her sensitive bud, making her legs tremble with need. I continue to devour her until she falls apart, screaming out in ecstasy. I love the sound of her climax and knowing that I’m able to give her exactly what she desperately craves.