Chapter Seven
One week had gone by since the morning Sierra had left Jock’s cabin with Caleb without a civil word being exchanged between them. The tension between them had been so thick one could have cut it with a knife. Instead of focusing on the Diamond Lil as she should, her thoughts were still fixated on Caleb.
His absence was killing her, pure and simple. The sight of him was like fuel for her, keeping her strong, keeping her motivated - he was a reminder of all her hopes and dreams, past and future. But she had to accept that Caleb’s feelings for her were firmly rooted in the past. She needed to move on and learn to live with her regrets.
Lord, please help me accept that I can’t change the past. I’ve got to accept the choices I made and the fact that Caleb has moved on with his life. Please give me grace. I’ve got a job to do at the Diamond Lil and I need to keep my eyes focused on fixing things at the ranch.
As tired out as her body felt from the physical rigors of working the ranch, she was truly enjoying every single moment of the experience. No matter how big or small the task, she felt herself rising to the occasion to complete it. Although she hadn’t often allowed herself the luxury of being homesick while living in New York City, she’d never been able to deny the empty hole inside of her that was crying out to be filled. Being back in Briarwood felt so right. It felt like home after being gone for an eternity, and suddenly the loneliness wasn’t so bad anymore.
Exhausted from working out in the pasture, Sierra entered the kitchen through the back door of the house. As always, Minnie was there, infusing the space with her warmth and down home cooking.
“Come and sit down, chile. You look as if you could use a glass of lemonade and some of my rhubarb pie.” Minnie didn’t stare at Sierra, which she knew must be a mighty hard task since she was covered from head to toe with sweat and grime. Her hair was caked with mud and she was walking awkwardly as if she’d trekked all the way from New York to Texas. Minnie ushered Sierra toward one of the kitchen chairs and placed a tall glass of lemonade in front of her on the table. Sierra gratefully reached for the lemonade and drank the refreshing liquid in huge gulps.
Minnie ripped off her apron and then plopped down in the chair next to her, heaving a huge sigh as she sat down. Sierra felt Minnie’s intense scrutiny, and as she turned towards her she caught Minnie looking at her with a knowing eye.
“So, chile, she finally up and told you the truth, huh?” Minnie asked in a spirited voice.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Sierra asked, trying to sound innocent.
“Hmmph! Who do you think you’re fooling, girl?” Minnie rolled her warm brown eyes at Sierra and gave her a look that warned her not to even try to pull the wool over her eyes. “Ever since you’ve been back you’ve been moping around the house like a lost soul. I know you’re grieving and all, but you still don’t look right. Seems to me it’s the same look you had on your face when you broke up with the Matthews boy all them years ago. The way I figure it, Lilliana up and told you what she’d done to you.”
Sierra’s mouth hung open in absolute shock. She couldn’t believe that Minnie had kept secrets from her all these years, secrets that had forever changed her life. “Minnie...no, oh please don’t tell me that you knew the truth all this time,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.
“No, baby, I haven’t known the whole time. Keeping secrets ain’t my style.” Minnie reached out and patted Sierra’s hand in a comforting gesture. “Years after the fact Lilliana had an attack of the guilts and confessed everything to me one hot summer night when we dipped into the wine. She was quite sorry and sad about the whole sordid mess. She knew she’d done wrong, I reckon.”
Sierra cast a skeptical look in Minnie’s direction and said, “Hmmph! She had eight years to tell me the truth and she waited until she was on her deathbead to come clean! So much for remorse. She couldn’t even face me with the truth, Minnie, even though she knew I deserved at least that.”
“Hush, child. It ain’t right to talk stink about your granny, may she rest in peace. She did what she did, and Lord knows it ain’t right, but she thought she was saving you from heartache! In a crazy kind of way it makes sense, I suppose.”
Sierra’s chin quivered with emotion as she said, “She had no right! Just because Jock Matthews broke her heart, she had no right to break mine! But I guess my hopes and dreams were expendable in Lilliana’s eyes.” She couldn’t contain her bitterness, and it rang out in every word.
Minnie made a tutting sound. “Chile, if you’re planning to move on with your life you need to find forgiveness in that heart of yours. You sound like a bitter old prune when I know you’re the very opposite. I remember when you were growing up all the ranch hands used to call you a slice of sunshine because wherever you went you brought happiness. Don’t you see, Sierra? That’s your salvation.”
“Having a wide open heart has always been my downfall, Minnie, never my salvation. It’s never given me anything but heartache and disappointment.”
Minnie shook her head mournfully and said, “If you believe that nonsense then you really have lost your way. And that’s why I’m here, I reckon. To show you the way back.”
“How do you plan on doing that Minnie? As far as I can tell I’m pretty far off course.”
Minnie clapped her walnut-colored hands together and cackled with glee. “I’m going to take you back to the beginning. I’m going to tell you a story, chile, about two people who loved fiercer and deeper than any two people I’ve ever seen in my life. So settle down in that chair of yours and fill up your glass with some more lemonade, because the telling might take awhile.”
Sierra pushed her chair back and began to stand up. “Minnie, I really should go back to the corral. Bryce is out there trying to break in a couple of broncs and he’s not real experienced.”
“Sit down, girl, and listen to what I have to say,” Minnie said in an annoyed tone. “If Bryce Jarvis is fool enough to think he can break in a wild mustang, than I ain’t gonna cry no tears for him when he’s the one who’s broken. Sit down and listen! You may learn something.”
Without a word of protest Sierra sat back down in her chair, humbled for a moment by Minnie’s direct manner and her startling resemblance to Lilliana Rose. Sierra had forgotten how similar the two women were in temperament and mannerisms, a natural result of their sixty five years of friendship.
“Lilliana Rose and Jock met at a rodeo festival in San Antonio. Your grandmother and I went to San Antonio to attend the festival with your great-grandaddy, who if’n I reckon correctly was looking to buy some horses. Jock was a bronc rider on the circuit and he had come to San Antonio to enter one of them bronc riding contests.” Minnie’s eyes were dreamy as she recounted the events of sixty years ago, her face lighting up with a poignant smile as she spoke, the brown skin crinkling around her twinkling eyes.
“Jock looked out into the audience and clapped eyes onto your grandmama. It was love at first sight. Lilliana Rose preened like a peacock when she caught sight of Jock staring at her. Lord above! She was smiling and batting her eyes something fierce.” Minnie let out a huge belly-laugh and continued. “Jock was so distracted he went flying off the bronc and ended up in a pile of dung. As the crowd roared with laughter Lilliana Rose slipped away from the stands and went looking for Jock.”
“Did she find him?” Sierra asked as she leaned forward in her chair with both elbows propped on the table, entranced by Minnie’s storytelling and the love story that was unfolding.
Minnie nodded and smiled knowingly. “She sure did. Even though he smelled like day- old dung, your grandmother was smitten. From that moment forward those two were inseparable. Turns out Jock originally hailed from Briarwood, so he up and moved back to be near Lilliana Rose and court her.”
“And did he? Court her, I mean?” Sierra couldn’t contain her curiosity, for it seemed to have a life of its own. She had wanted to uncover information about Jock and her grandmother’s relationship, and since Jock couldn’t or wouldn’t talk to her at the moment, Minnie was her best source of information. If she listened to Minnie carefully, she might be able to unravel some clues about Jock’s desertion.
“He courted her like a fairy tale princess, Sierra. He took her to barbecues and hoe-downs, ice cream socials and church outings. He brought her roses at night and sugar cookies in the morning. But most of all he courted her with his mind and with words. He shared her dreams for building up the Diamond Lil. Jessup, your great-grandaddy, he never cared for Jock. He tried his hardest to turn Lilliana Rose against Jock, but it never worked. She loved that man. And he earned her devotion, let me tell you. He worked like a dog helping her with it after her daddy got killed, bless his soul. I’ve never seen a man work himself harder than Jock did. He was so devoted to Lilliana Rose, and because of that devotion he made the Diamond Lil his life’s mission. He single-handedly put up both the barn and the corral.”
“Jock helped build up the Diamond Lil?” Sierra asked, her voice sounding incredulous at the very idea of Caleb’s grandfather contributing so much to her family's legacy. It was a mind- boggling concept, one that she stored in her mind for another time and place. Perhaps Caleb would be interested in knowing of his grandfather’s contribution to the Diamond Lil.
Minnie nodded and said, “Sure enough, chile. He was a large part of its success, despite what some might say. I was there and I seen it all. And he did it all because he was crazy in love with Lilliana Rose.”
Sierra let out a frustrated sigh, not understanding the implications of what she was hearing. None of it made a lick of sense. “If he loved her so much, then why did he throw her over for another woman?”
Minnie shook her head from side to side, her face reflecting her own confusion on the issue. “Chile, that is a question I will take to my grave. I never understood what possessed the man. I remember the day it happened like it was yesterday.” Minnie grimaced at the memory, her walnut-colored skin crinkling with distaste. “It was supposed to be the happiest of days, yet it ended with such sadness, such heartache.”
As they sat at the table drinking their cold lemonade and crunching on sugar cookies, the memories of another warm spring day came flooding back with vivid intensity. And with Minnie guiding the way, Sierra was able to see the past through her eyes.
***
It was a warm spring morning in Briarwood, Texas, and folks were buzzing around the Homestead, eagerly anticipating the wedding that was taking place later that afternoon. All week preparations had been made for the wedding of the year, the much heralded nuptials of Lilliana Rose Craddock and Jock Matthews.
After a one-year courtship, Lilliana Rose and Jock were being married in the presence of friends and relatives who had gathered from all around the country to attend the ceremony. Everyone who knew the happy couple had great expectations for their future: endless happiness, a house full of little ones and the biggest cattle ranch in all of Texas. Joy hung in the air.
As a special wedding day surprise for Lilliana Rose, Jock had built a gazebo adjacent to the Homestead, one that he had adorned with lace, pink and white roses and ivy. In Jock’s mind it was the perfect site for them to exchange their wedding vows, a virtual garden of Eden right here in Briarwood. All the ranch hands chipped in with the decorations, casting off their reticence to do womens’ work in order to make sure that Lilliana Rose and Jock’s wedding was the most memorable day of their young lives. And by the day of the wedding they had transformed the Homestead into a romantic paradise, filled with flowers, ribbons and baskets overflowing with party favors.
Sadly, Lilliana Rose’s biggest heartache on this most sacred of days was that her father Jessup wasn’t around to give her away. She’d always dreamed of a fancy wedding and of walking towards her groom on her father’s strong arm. It was with great sadness that she reflected on her father’s murder as she sat in her bedroom with Minnie.
Minnie was making last minute adjustments to Lilliana Rose’s wedding dress, making sure that the bodice of the gown fit perfectly over her bosom and that the length of the dress was perfect. Minnie didn’t want her friend tumbling down the stairs of the Homestead and breaking her neck on her wedding day. Lilliana Rose was a vision in a floor length, ivory silk gown that accentuated her lush figure without being immodest. Minnie had sewn onto the bodice a half dozen pink roses, which added to the femininity of the gown, while still lending her a demure look.
“You look beautiful, Lilliana Rose. Pretty as a picture,” she gushed in obvious admiration.
Lilliana Rose stood before the full-length antique mirror and studied her reflection with a critical eye. Impulsively, she twirled around like a ballerina, enjoying the feel of the ivory silk against her body. “I feel like a princess, Minnie. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.”
Minnie reached out and pinched her friend’s arm, grinning as Lilliana Rose yelled, “Ow,” then saying, “Hmmm. I’ve pinched you and you’re still here in this wedding gown. It can’t be a dream.”
Both women dissolved into giggles as they fell back onto Lilliana Rose’s bed and clutched their stomachs as they continued to laugh uproariously. They were both feeling giddy with joy and excitement.
“How I wish my daddy could be here today, Minnie.” Tears gathered in Lilliana Rose’s eyes as she spoke about her father. She missed him dearly each and every day, but she especially felt it on this most sacred of days. A day when every bride needed her daddy by her side, walking her down the aisle and whispering his blessings and best wishes. “But he’s gone, Minnie, and he’s never coming back.” She sadly wiped a tear away from her cheek, her face filled with misery and deep sorrow.
“Your daddy will be here today, Miss Lilliana. In your heart-in your soul...he’ll always be here with you,” Minnie said soothingly as she patted her friend’s hand, wishing she could ease her pain.
Lilliana Rose smiled through her tears at her best friend, her spirits buoyed by Minnie’s words of wisdom and by the knowledge that her father would always rest in her heart. Forever. Even the night riders’ viciousness couldn’t change that.
A loud rapping on the bedroom door startled both women, causing both of them to jump off the bed in surprise. Minnie walked towards the door and swung it open, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw Jock standing at the door, his cowboy hand respectfully placed in his hand.
“Jock, what are you doing here?” Minnie yelled. She tried to slam the door shut in an attempt to keep the groom’s eyes off his bride, but Jock quickly placed his foot in the door and prevented her from slamming it closed.
Jock’s eyes were filled with desperation and urgency as he said, “I need to talk to Lilliana. It’s important, Minnie.” His eyes were now pleading with her to let him in. “You know I wouldn’t come here like this if’n it wasn’t important.”
A feeling of foreboding flashed through Minnie as she stood by the door and silently summed Jock up. He was standing in the doorway looking as disheveled as a man could look. A twelve o’clock shadow graced his chin and his eyes were red-rimmed with dark circles underneath. More ominously, he wasn’t dressed in his wedding finery, nor did he resemble a man who was getting married that afternoon.
Lilliana’s voice rang out from behind the door, “Let him in, Minnie. If’n Jock needs to talk to me, I need to listen. I’m not going to let silly old superstition get in the way.” When Minnie turned around Lilliana Rose’s smile was radiant, and it was clear that she wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of her perfectly wonderful wedding day. And Minnie knew from experience that her dear friend usually got her way.
Minnie ushered Jock into the room, watching in satisfaction as he stopped dead in his tracks to admire his fiancee. Even a blind man could see the love radiating from Jock’s eyes as he drank in the sight of Lilliana Rose in her wedding finery. The look on his face was one of pure rapture, then right before Minnie’s very eyes the look changed into one of devestation...and loss.
“Good Lord Almighty, Lilliana,” he said in a strangled voice. “You look...you look like you’re not of this world. I think the sight of you could make the angels cry. Sure enough.”
“You’re my angel, Jock. My very own angel.” Lilliana smiled at him then, a breathtakingly beautiful smile that spoke volumes of her love and devotion.
Rather than smile back at her, Jock was grim faced and stoic, deep worry lines etched in his forehead. “Lilliana, I...I came here today to speak my piece,” he said in a raspy voice.
“W-what is it? What’s wrong, my darling?” Lilliana Rose’s voice was full of concern, and she looked as if she wanted to reach out and smooth away the worry lines that dotted his brow. But as she reached out to him he took a step backward, his face not showing any signs that he wanted her near him.
“Lilliana, I-I can’t marry you today.”
For a moment she looked stunned at Jock’s bombshell, her beautiful features turning slack and pale, her mouth hanging open in shock at the unexpected announcement. A few seconds later she recovered her equilibrium and began talking, “It’s alright, Jock. We don’t have to do this today. I know everything was rushed and all...and if you want a small ceremony by a Justice of the Peace, then it’s all right by me.” She then flashed him an understanding smile, one that relayed the message that she understood perfectly his feelings on the matter.
Jock shook his head, his eyes filled with sorrow as he said, “No, Lilliana, you’re not understanding me. We can’t be together. Not now. Not ever.”
A sharp intake of air was the only sound that echoed in the stillness of the room. Minnie sat like a statue on the bed, for all intents and purposes an unseen, unheard entity. On the inside her heart was breaking for Lilliana Rose because she knew that her dearest friend’s world was coming to a crashing halt. In all likelihood nothing would ever be the same for her again.
“I-I don’t love you, Lilliana,” Jock continued. “Not enough to marry you.”
“That’s a lie!” Lilliana Rose screamed as she shook her head to indicate that she didn’t believe his words. “That’s not true, Jock. How can you stand here and lie to me like this?”
“It’s the truth, Lilliana. I swear it! On my soul, I swear it!” he cried, the words nearly ripped out of his very soul.
“You have no soul if you could do this to me. Why? What has happened to turn you against me like this? What happened to turn you away from me?” Lilliana Rose’s cries were heartfelt and emotional, and they clearly struck a nerve within Jock, who could not mask the pained expression on his face.
“I...I can’t stay,” he muttered as he turned to walk away from her. “It will only make it harder on both of us.”
“Jock! Please. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me like this!” she cried out in a hysterical voice. “I don’t want to live without you.”
For a moment Jock halted in his tracks, and he half turned towards her, his face reflecting uncertainty and regret. Just as it appeared as if he would turn back toward her he turned away, his shoulders slumped forward, his head hanging low like a man who’d lost everything. In four short strides he walked out of the door and out of Lilliana Rose’s life.
Minnie reached for Lilliana Rose, who was clawing like a wild animal at her wedding dress and crying hysterically, her sobs plaintive and heart-wrenching. She collapsed onto the floor and was writhing around like a wounded animal who needed to be put out of its misery. Thankfully, Lilliana Rose sank into unconsciousness, and it was as if her body was seeking to protect her against the savage pain that Jock had inflicted with his stunning betrayal. It was as if her body knew that even Lilliana Rose couldn’t withstand this deep pain without shattering into a million pieces.
***
“The doctor came to the Homestead and administered some medication to your grandmother which calmed her down a bit. She was in her sick-bed for near to a month. She wouldn’t talk and she barely ate a bite. We thought she’d just waste away. And then one day she simply snapped out of it. The first thing she did was to go outside and tear down that gazebo, piece by piece. She forbid anyone to mention Jock’s name around the Homestead or the Diamond Lil, and of course we wouldn’t have dreamed of it. Everyone hated Jock for what he’d done to Lilliana, especially when he up and married Shanae and told everyone they were expecting a baby.” Minnie's voice bristled with anger as she continued, “I wanted to kill him myself a couple of times. Your grandmother of course was never the same. She became hard. Older. Wiser. And even though she married your granddaddy...she never let herself love a man like she’d loved Jock.”
“Such cruelty!” Sierra exclaimed, still caught up by the story that Minnie had told and infuriated by Jock’s cruel desertion of her grandmother on their wedding day.
Minnie let out a loud sigh, filled with all the pain and heartache of the past. “She didn’t want the circle to repeat with you and your young man. If you’d have seen the pain that your grandmother suffered after Jock left her, maybe you’d fully understand.”
Sierra rose from the table and reached into the kitchen drawer for a tissue to blot away her tears. Her face felt puffy from crying over Minnie’s story and she knew that she looked a mess. “I’ve seen my own pain up close and personal, Minnie. And the circle repeated anyway, regardless of what she tried to do. The big joke is that my grandmother thought she was sparing me from pain, when the whole time she was the one placing a dagger through my heart.”
“Seems to me you could clear this whole mess up with your young man if you really wanted to, although you’d have to swallow your pride a bit to do it, I imagine,” Minnie said knowingly.
“It’s not that simple, Minnie. He’s hot one minute and cold the next. Every time I’m with him he’s singing a different tune. He hates me, he hates me not.”
“Hmmph! I’d be hot and cold too if’n I thought a woman I’d loved had run off on me. No explanation. No nothing. What’s a body to think?”
Sierra shook her head, trying to shake off Minnie’s advice. “I just need to forget him. The past is the past and there’s no going back.”
“Hmmph! You haven’t forgotten him in eight years, chile, what makes you think you can forget him now? You need to just go on and tell him the truth and face the music.”
At that moment the kitchen door swung open and Jacey walked through the entranceway, her beautiful face lit up with excitement. “There you are, Sierra. I’ve been looking all over the place for you. Don’t you ever answer your cell phone? Marissa called earlier and she wanted to know if you were up to going to Tumbleweeds tonight. One of the hottest new groups in Houston is performing there tonight and we’re planning to have a ladies’ night out.”
Sierra felt skeptical at the mention of a ladies’ night out. She was bone tired from working the horses all day and she didn’t know how much fun it would be to subject herself to endless love songs and couples slow dancing on the dance floor. Besides, after hearing Minnie’s tragic story and talking about the hopelessness of her relationship with Caleb, she was in no mood for socializing. At this moment all she really wanted to do was to bury herself under the covers with a pint of Haagen Dazs ice cream and a juicy novel. Not that she’d get any reading done with Caleb on her mind, she thought glumly.
She hesitated. “I don’t know, Jacey. I was planning to take a long, warm bath and curl up with a good book tonight. I’m exhausted from working the ranch today.”
“Go on, chile,” Minnie advised with a warm smile and a shooing motion. “You have the rest of your life to rest up. Go out and enjoy yourself while you can.”
“Listen to Minnie,” Jacey cajoled. “She’s always been the voice of reason in this house.”
Maybe it would do her some good, she thought. Her only other option was to sit at the Homestead and think about Caleb all night. And that sure didn’t sound appealing, she thought. With her luck he’d probably creep into her dreams and haunt her all night long. At least if she went out on the town with Jacey and Marissa she’d be surrounded with music and people, all forms of distraction.
“Okay. I surrender,” Sierra said with a grin, realizing she was fighting a losing battle with Minnie and Jacey. She knew from experience that they wouldn’t give up until she agreed to the night out. She sighed and held up her hands in defeat. “Count me in,” she said.
***
“How many beers does it take to make an Irishman slur his words?”
Caleb signaled the bartender and ordered another Corona, not even bothering to spare a sideways glance at his companion. “I’m not in the mood for stupid jokes, Cruz. I’m busy.”
Matt Cruz snorted, then asked, “Busy doing what?” Cruz counted the number of empty beer bottles sitting in front of Caleb at the bar and shook his head. “Drinking? You don’t even drink, Caleb.”
“Mind your business, Cruz.” Caleb’s words were abrupt and to-the-point. Clearly, he was not in a mood to be messed with - not even by his blood brother, Matt Cruz. Caleb and Cruz had been friends since early childhood when Jake had introduced Caleb to the American Indian culture, and in turn Caleb had shown Cruz how to ask a girl out on a date and get a favorable response. Not counting Sierra, Matt Cruz had been the best friend he’d ever had in his life.
It had been Matt who had rescued Caleb from his rabble-rousing after his break up with Sierra. Caleb had helped him get back on his feet, convincing him that living well was the best revenge for faithless girlfriends. Matt had even lent Caleb the money he’d used to start up his ranch. Although Matt Cruz was the sheriff of Briarwood, he’d come into an inheritance at the age of twenty and was independently wealthy.
“It is my business. You’ve been on the wagon for six years and all of a sudden out of the blue you’re drinking when I know it’s not your style. What’s going on?”
“I’m not drunk, Cruz. As you said, I haven’t touched the stuff in years.”
“And all of a sudden you have a hankering for beer? I’m not buying it. I think you’re drowning in your cups over here because of a certain brown-eyed girl named Sierra, a girl you haven’t been able to forget. Or forgive. Am I right?”
“Don’t say her name.” Caleb gritted the words through tightly clenched teeth, his fist curled around the neck of the beer bottle as if he was fighting for control.
“What? Too painful to hear her name?” Jake asked. If nothing else he wanted a reaction out of his friend, even if it was explosive anger. Too often Caleb held his feelings in check, leaving them to fester on the inside. Matt knew it wasn’t healthy for his best friend to keep his emotions bottled up. He was determined to get a reaction out of Caleb, even if he ended up scrapping with him. At six feet one, two hundred twenty pounds, he wasn’t worried. Not that he would ever use his strength to hurt Caleb. He’d rather die than raise his hand against his “blood brother.”
“Shut up, Cruz! You have no idea what I’m feeling,” Caleb growled. Caleb couldn’t imagine another living soul knowing how he felt, torn between hatred and longing. Or was it love? No way! He didn’t even want to consider that possibility - it was far too painful.
All he knew for sure was that he ached for Sierra. He wanted her more desperately than he had as an eighteen year old. If that was humanly possible. He didn’t know how long he could hold on to his pride without going to her, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. All he could think about was the night they had spent at his grandfather’s cabin and the way they’d bonded. He’d felt that familiar attraction between them—that magnetic push and pull.
Cruz interrupted his thoughts by saying, “Remember, Caleb. I was there eight years ago when she turned your world upside down. I saw the wreckage up close. If anyone knows how it is...it’s me.”
Caleb let out a ragged sigh and laid his head down on the wooden surface of the bar, gently banging his head against the wood. “Unless you’ve been in love Cruz, and I don’t remember you ever being in that glorious state, you can’t know how it feels to have her back here in Briarwood. I want to be with her, but I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that the sight of her still tears me up inside. It’s tough, man.”
Cruz slapped Caleb on the back, a gesture that signified his solidarity. “Whatever happens between the two of you, just don’t lose yourself in the process. No woman is worth all that! And besides,” he said cryptically, “isn’t it about time you sent that plan in motion, the one you’ve been telling me about for months?”
“Lower your voice!” Caleb ordered in a fierce tone. “Do you think I want all my business out on the street? I’ll put the plan in motion when the time is right and not a minute sooner!”
Cruz nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and swiveled around in his bar chair, a small straw dangling from his lips as he perused the crowded bar. “I think a woman could do wonders for that foul mood you're in,” he said. “It's amazing what a pretty face can do to make a man forget the woman he thinks he loves.”
Suddenly he let out a low whistle and turned towards Caleb, a hint of a smile plastered on his face. “Well, it seems that this night might get interesting after all.”
“What are you mumbling about?” Caleb whirled around in his bar chair, reeling a little bit from the spinning motion and the beers he’d downed. Everyone and their brother was at Tumbleweeds tonight and the place was wall to wall people.
Cruz raised his finger and pointed to a female figure standing on the other side of the room next to the pool table. Caleb squinted in an effort to see who had captured his friend’s attention. Whoever she was, he thought, she was wearing jeans and a blue shirt that hugged her curves.
The figure began walking toward him, closer and closer until he didn’t have to stare anymore. The minute he’d spotted the copper colored hair it had been a dead giveaway. Sierra.
Within seconds she’d reached his side. “We need to talk,” she said abruptly, skipping all the niceties and getting straight to the point.
It was better that way, Caleb thought wildly. Straight to the point. Abrupt. He liked it straight. Then he wouldn’t be sucked in by her small talk and fooled into thinking that she wanted him in her life again. He was so tired of hoping and wanting. It made him feel like a fool. But then his insides began to flutter like a hundred butterflies were crashing around inside of him.
**
From the moment Sierra had spotted Caleb sitting at the bar in Tumbleweeds she’d been determined to face him head-on, rather than running to the bathroom and hiding from him as she would have preferred. No more running!
“Sierra, you remember Matt Cruz?” Caleb asked as he jutted his chin in the direction of his buddy.
Sierra nodded and coolly smiled in Matt’s direction, instantly remembering the cold and unfriendly Matt Cruz. Back in the day he’d been Caleb’s best friend, and in addition he’d been a thorn in Sierra’s side, constantly telling Caleb that they were all wrong for each other and that he should cut her loose.
Judging by the way he was looking at her now, Sierra thought grimly, time hadn’t changed him one little bit. He was still a judgmental so-and-so, and a woman-hater to boot, she imagined.
“How could I forget,” she said dryly as Matt tipped his cowboy hat in her direction and sent her a grudging smile. “You were Caleb’s shadow, always popping up wherever he went. It’s nice to know that some things never change.”
“So Caleb tells me,” he said in a snide tone that hinted of secrets exchanged between old buddies.
Sierra glared at Caleb, suddenly feeling betrayed by the fact that he’d discussed her with his best friend. Matt Cruz hadn’t liked her back in the day and she doubted that he liked her much now, so she could only imagine what he’d said to Caleb about her. Why is it, she thought, that male friends always felt threatened by their closest friend’s girlfriend? Not that she was Caleb’s girlfriend, she hastily reminded herself. Those days were long gone.
Before Sierra could pull Caleb aside to ask him how his grandfather had made out in the storm and give him a tongue-lashing for his attitude the other day, Marissa came walking over to where Sierra was standing at the bar next to Caleb and Matt.
“Marissa, you know Caleb, don’t you?” Sierra asked, certain their paths had crossed in the last eight years in a town as small as Briarwood.
Caleb graciously reached for Marissa’s hand and shook it, while Marissa gave him one of her winning smiles, the same smile that had made her Briarwood’s best selling real estate agent for the last four years running. She was the perfect salesperson, Sierra thought with a smile. Bubbly and perky with just the right touch of intelligence and class. Although Marissa could be a bit dramatic at times, Sierra considered her a friend for life, one who had proven her mettle time after time.
“You’re Marissa Santana?” The question hung in the air for a moment, flung from Matt’s lips like a grenade being hurled at the enemy. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Matt Cruz had a bone to pick. At this moment Marissa happened to be the unlucky bone.
“Yes,” Marissa said sharply, instantly responding to his churlish attitude, “who’s asking?”
“Sheriff Matt Cruz,” he said, his lips curling with distaste.
Marissa looked queasy for a moment upon hearing his name, and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment, or maybe it was shame, as he stared a hole straight through her.
“Er...ah, I don’t think we’ve met,” Marissa said clumsily.
Matt’s sharp features were grim, his lips set in a deep frown, the raisin colored eyes dark and brooding.
Marissa visibly shivered as he responded in a voice filled with challenge, “No, we haven’t met, but that sure didn’t stop you from telling tales all over town about me and old widow Jenkins.”
For a moment time stood still and Marissa looked as if all the blood in her body had rushed to her head. She had no idea what to say to this tall and forbidding man who looked like he was capable of first degree murder. Especially since she was guilty. She’d gossiped about him on more occasions than she could remember. Evidently, word had gotten back to him through the town grapevine and he was far from being pleased.
Caleb coughed uncomfortably and said, “Excuse us, Marissa, Cruz. Sierra's itching to get out on the dance floor.” Caleb reached for Sierra’s hand and pulled her none-too-gracefully towards the dance floor, then pausing to yell over his shoulder, “Don’t kill each other while we’re gone.”
Marissa watched her best friend’s desertion, wishing she was standing anywhere but here. Anywhere but trapped by Matt Cruz’s unrelenting stare and his dark, brooding expression. What in the world had she done now? she asked herself.
Marissa sighed dramatically and said, “Just exactly what am I being accused of?”
Matt Cruz folded his arms across his chest, managing to look more imposing by the minute as he drew himself up to his full six foot three inches. “You are hereby accused of being a small-minded, obnoxious, gossip. You are hereby accused of meddling in other peoples’ business and spreading false, malicious rumors about town. You are hereby accused of slurring the reputation of one of this town’s most respected and benevolent women. For what purpose, I ask, other than sheer nastiness?”
With tears in her eyes Marissa stood her ground, refusing to run away from this confrontation, even though every instinct within her was urging her to turn tail and get out of dodge. After his announcement he glared at her with hate in his eyes and angrily stormed away from her, his powerful body filled with outrage. For a few moments she stood rooted to the spot, her eyes prickling with unshed tears of humiliation and rage.
She’d stood there like a fool and let Matt Cruz get on his high horse and tear her to shreds. And for once in her life her mouth hadn’t been in working order. She’d been speechless.
Blindly, she wiped all traces of tears from her face and raced to the bathroom, where she ended up locking herself inside a bathroom stall and hiding out. In two seconds Matt Cruz had summed her up and found her unworthy, labeling her as “obnoxious” and “malicious.” If she lived to be the age of old widow Jenkins she would never forget the look of pure hatred on his face and the venom that had dripped off his tongue. Only she could inspire such hatred in a perfect stranger, she thought bitterly. Only Marissa Santana could mess up so royally.
As she sat on the toilet she placed her head in her hands, huge sobs wracking her body as the pain of Matt Cruz’s words seared through her. Small-minded. Obnoxious. Malicious. As always, she had made a huge mess out of things.
***
“Your jeans are too tight, darlin’,” Caleb announced in a matter-of-fact voice as he held Sierra in his arms of the dance floor.
“My jeans aren't too tight, Caleb. They fit just right and they’re perfectly respectable.” Sierra couldn’t suppress the defensive tone that had crept into her voice the moment he criticized her attire.
Caleb nodded his head knowingly, letting his eyes slide down the length of her. “I bet you had to shimmy into them and then lie down on your bed to zip them up.”
“I did not!” Sierra argued, feeling annoyed that he was picking on her and critiquing her jeans. After all, in his 501 jeans and T-shirt, he wasn’t exactly dressed to impress. Not that he didn’t look gorgeous, she conceded, as her eyes automatically drifted to his taut physique.
“Did too!” he teased, showcasing his pearly teeth. Sierra couldn’t figure Caleb out. He’d dragged her to the dance floor and was acting playfully toward her. If she didn’t know better, she might even think he was softening toward her.
“Hush up! You’re talking so loud everyone is staring,” Sierra warned as she shot him a disapproving glare.
“I know why the men are staring,” Caleb said knowingly as he winked at Sierra. “It’s those too-tight jeans.”
Sierra rolled her eyes. “One more word about my jeans and I’m leaving you here to dance by yourself.”
“Please don’t do that,” Caleb said with a grin, his smile lighting up his entire face and causing butterflies to dance in her stomach. “Dancing with you is like floating on a cloud.”
Sierra suppressed a tiny smile at Caleb’s over the top flattery. She shook her head ruefully as she said, “I knew I should’ve stayed home tonight.”
Caleb twirled her around in his arms, then brought her back toward him. “If you’d stayed home tonight, we wouldn’t have been able to two-step.”
“You’ve had too much to drink!”she said in an accusatory voice. “That’s why you’re acting like this.”
“Not at all,” he said dryly. “I had a few beers but that hardly makes me drunk.”
“I hope you’re not driving,” she said in a prim voice, her limbs still trembling from contact with Caleb. Why was she torturing herself by being held in his arms? He didn’t want her. He’d made that perfectly clear on numerous occasions.
Suddenly he pulled her towards him so that his breath was warm and hot against her cheek. “Are you going to see that I get home safely?” he whispered, inhaling the vanilla scent of her perfume.
Right away she shook her head and said, “No. Isn’t that your shadow’s job?”
Caleb smirked at her response. “Cruz left five minutes ago. I saw him storm out. It seems that the sight of your friend Marissa sent him into a funk. Did they have something romantic going on at any point?”
“Absolutely not,” Sierra said emphatically. “She definitely would have told me that.”
Caleb shrugged. “Maybe she sold him a bad property or something.”
Sierra bristled. “Never!” she said in a fierce tone. “Marissa is as professional as they come. She would never do something like that. She’s very successful as a realtor.”
Now it was Caleb’s turn to roll his eyes. “It was a joke. Lighten up! You’re supposed to be laughing right about now. Get it? I joke. You laugh. Everyone’s happy.”
“Ha Ha!” she said dryly, her face not cracking a smile even though she felt like grinning. Just being in his arms and dancing with him was enough to make her weep with joy. Having him laugh and joke with her and treat her like an old friend made her feel as if all was right with the universe, even though she was a bit confused at his sudden change of heart. The only thing she could surmise was that the beer was doing the talking for him rather than his bruised heart.
“Remember...the warmth of days gone by,” he sang softly in her ear, the words of the song echoing their own relationship. Was he deliberately teasing her with the words of the song? Or did he too hold a soft spot in his heart for the way things once were between them?
“This loneliness has crushed my heart,” she whispered, finishing the verse of the song, her eyes locking with his own as she gazed up at Caleb. She wanted him to see all the loneliness she’d endured through the years, all the longing and the love that she’d stored up in her heart. For him. Only for him.
It was sweet torture being held so tightly in Caleb’s arms and not being able to say the things she wanted to tell him. She closed her eyes as he pulled her closer to him, surrendering to all of the emotions she’d been waging war against ever since her arrival in Briarwood.
Suddenly, Sierra felt the vibration of her cell phone in her hip pocket. She pulled away from Caleb’s arms, every nerve ending in her body pulsing with life due to his touch. Desperately trying to shake off the momentary feeling of loss from not being in his arms, she explained, “It’s my phone. I told Hollis to text me if anything happened out at the ranch.” She took the phone out of her pocket and stared intently at the screen. “Oh no! He texted me 911, which is our code for an emergency. I’ve got to get to the ranch.”
The seriousness of the matter was not lost on Caleb, who immediately responded, “I’m going with you. You might need me out there, especially if the vandals have struck again. I want to be there.”
In that instant their eyes met, her deep brown eyes connecting with his golden tiger’s eyes in a look of mutual need and understanding. She needed him to come to the Diamond Lil with her equally as much as Caleb needed to help out with the situation. At the moment they both wanted the same thing, which was a miracle of sorts in her opinion. They always seemed to be on different sides.
With a quick nod of her head she gave Caleb permission to drive out to the Diamond Lil with her. It made sense to bring him along for back up in case the situation became dicey, she reasoned. Who was she kidding? she asked herself. She wanted him along for more reasons than protection. She wanted him with her because she loved him. And if she had her choice, he’d never leave her side.