Chapter Two
“She said what?” Jacey asked in a baffled voice. “What in the world was she talking about?”
Sierra shrugged and shook her head, wishing that she had all the answers. Although her grandmother’s letter had explained a few things, she didn’t think she would ever be able to fully understand why her grandmother had fabricated such a vicious lie. “She didn’t want us together, Jacey. Years ago she was in love with Jock Matthews, Caleb's grandfather. After he dumped her she became bitter towards the entire Matthews clan...so when Caleb and I fell in love-.”
“She got in the middle of the two of you,” Jacey said in a raised voice. “That old fox. I can’t believe she made you think...what were you thinking? Did you actually think that Daddy would do such a thing to Mama? He would never have stepped out on her like that!”
“How was I supposed to know? I was just a kid, Jacey. I believed in Lilliana Rose. Don’t you remember how close we used to be?” Sierra said in a defensive tone. “I never would’ve believed she could be so hateful and cruel.”
Jacey leaned over and grasped her sister’s hand, her gesture one of comfort and solidarity.
“I’m sorry,” Jacey said. “I wasn’t trying to blame you. I just can’t believe she could be so manipulative. So ruthless and unfeeling. It’s such a prepostrous lie.”
Sierra shrugged and blew out a deep breath. “I guess she justified it by telling herself she was sparing me pain and heartache down the road.”
“You said that you only found this out two days ago. How did you find out? From Yancy?” Jacey questioned. Yancy Barnes was the executor of Lilliana Rose’s estate, and he had also been her best friend since childhood. If anyone knew Lilliana Rose’s secrets it was Yancy.
“No,” Sierra said with a shake of her head, “Grammy left me a letter she wrote right before she died. Let’s just say that it was a deathbed confession. She begged my forgiveness and slapped herself on the wrist for ruining my life.”
“Generous of her,” Jacey said dryly, the sarcasm easily rolling off her tongue. “I can see now why you were crying. Finding out about Grammy’s betrayal must be devastating to you. Why didn’t you say anything sooner? And why didn’t you tell me what you were going through all those years ago?” Jacey’s voice sounded hurt and bewildered.
“I didn’t want anyone else to be hurt by what I thought was the truth. It was bad enough that I lost a lot of respect for Dad because of Grammy’s lies. I couldn’t put you through that nightmare,” Sierra explained. “It was me and Grammy’s secret. If it had gotten out, it would have been a scandal here in Briarwood.”
“Poor Dad! I’m sure he had no idea you were harboring all these mixed emotions towards him. And poor Caleb! Have you seen him since you’ve been back? Did you tell him about Grammy?”
“Yes, I’ve seen him,” she said bleakly, “although he doesn’t know the truth yet. I just left his place...let’s suffice it to say that he hasn’t exactly been pining away for me all these years. He could barely stand the sight of me.”
“You’ve got to tell him the truth, Sierra. If he means anything at all to you, he should know what really happened. I’m sure he’s wondered all these years why you ended things.”
The door abruptly opened and a tall, lean man who looked remarkably like Jacey entered the bedroom.
He too had attired himself for the funeral according to Lilliana Roses’ wishes. He was wearing a bright green polo shirt with a tan belt and matching green trousers.
“Jason! Haven’t you learned the fine art of knocking? Whatever are they teaching the young doctors of today?” Jacey joked with an impish grin.
“Yeah,” Sierra chimed in. “Do you walk in on your patients like that?”
“No,” said Jason with a toothy grin that enhanced his dark good looks. “But I’m not trying to catch my patients gossiping about their latest romances. Fess up, you two. Give up the dirt on your love lives!”
“Never!” squealed Sierra and Jacey in unison, easily falling back into their childhood rituals. Jason had eavesdropped on his siblings’ conversations so many times when they were growing up that their parents had placed him on perpetual punishment. Not that any form of punishment had cured his inquisitive nature, thought Sierra with a spurt of joy. Her brother was nosy to the bone.
Jason and Jacey were twins, both of them sharing the same striking good looks and sparkling personalities. Both were tall and lean, with angular faces and high cheekbones. Both possessed all the physical characteristics of runway models, although neither had the slightest interest in the profession. Jason had dedicated his life to medicine, having graduated cum laude from Harvard Medical School, then doing his residency at Stanford University, specializing in pediatrics. His twin had devoted her life to the world of fashion; Jacey was currently designing couture collections for Chanel in Paris.
Sierra and Jacey flashed each other a mischievous grin and yelled out “1-2-3” at which time they picked up pillows and bombarded Jason with all their might. Within seconds Jason was yelling out “Sisters rule” which allowed Sierra and Jacey to let him up for air. Sierra loved the tight relationship she shared with her siblings; it was based on mutual love and respect.
“Sierra, you better get a move on it. The service begins in an hour and we’re getting ready to leave in half an hour. You’re not even dressed for the service.” Jason sounded like the typical older brother as he gently advised his younger sister and silently ushered his twin out of the room.
Within half an hour Sierra had changed and was now dressed from head to toe in lavender, a color Lilliana Rose had always adored. Wearing lavender was Sierra’s way of paying homage to the woman she had loved with all her heart and admired her entire life. Despite everything, she still loved her Grammy. She suspected she always would. She quickly made her way down the spiral staircase, while silently rejoicing in her familiar surroundings. Despite the somber circumstances, it felt good to be home amongst the people she loved most in the world.
Debbie and Brock Jackson, along with Jacey, Jason and Aunt Simone, were waiting for Sierra in the foyer, their faces grim and reflective. Her mother and father had both chosen to dress in fire engine red while Aunt Simone looked resplendent in pelican pink.
Debbie Jackson was a woman in her mid-fifties, small-boned and petite, with a glowing mahogany complexion, a slight paunch and a head full of salt and pepper hair. Although she looked quiet and unassuming, Debbie had a sharp wit and a scathing tongue to match. Known for her witticisms and sparkling conversation, Debbie was not someone most folks wanted on their bad side. Brock was a tall, caramel colored, heavy-set man in his late-fifties, totally bald, with a perpetual smile and a warm disposition. Brock was a well-liked and personable man, who had built up the family business to even greater dimensions than anyone had ever expected.
Her parents had always been a devoted couple, Sierra thought, as she watched them standing hand in hand, two lovers united in their grief. Back when she a child there had been some tensions in their marriage due to her father’s overzealous dedication to the family business. Sierra knew they had worked hard over the years to mend their issues. The knowledge that her parents had struggled at one time had made it a bit easier for Sierra to believe that Brock Jackson had betrayed her mother with Lola Matthews. Her grandmother had convinced her to doubt her father and her parents’ marriage. Lilliana’s lie had caused her to question her father’s every action, and for years a simmering resentment had brewed beneath the surface. Through it all she had never confronted her father about Lola, managing to keep her sacred promise of silence to Lilliana. And she had left Briarwood without a single word of explanation to Caleb, knowing that by keeping silent she was protecting everyone from the secret her grandmother had exposed.
And now they were preparing to say goodbye to Lilliana Rose.
The Jackson family gathered together and held hands, showing their solidarity and togetherness as they walked towards the waiting limousine and made their way towards Pinecrest. During the ride to the cemetery, Sierra gazed out the window, her thoughts a wild jumble. She knew what was bothering her more than anything else. Caleb. After all these years she still loved him. In truth, she’d never stopped loving him. And he hated her.
Jacey gently shook her sister’s arm and whispered, “We’re here, Sierra”, as the limousine stopped and the family began to exit the car. Sierra tried to dispel all thoughts of Caleb in an effort to focus entirely on the service. Today was Lilliana Rose’s day, and Sierra intended to honor her grandmother, despite her mixed feelings.
“Praise the Lord. It seems as if all of Texas is here,” said Brock in a surprised tone as he surveyed the massive crowd gathered around Lilliana’s burial plot. All the mourners were decked out in the colors of the rainbow and there wasn’t a drab color in sight. “I never knew so many people loved my mother,” he said with a poignant smile.
Debbie squeezed her husband’s hand and raised it to her lips in a loving gesture. “It’s a testament to Lilliana Rose, Brock. She touched a lot of people in her lifetime, honey. Now it’s their chance to pay homage to her.”
After the family took their seats, the minister began the service, which brought tears to most of the guests’ eyes. Lilliana’s oldest and dearest friend, Yancy Ralston, delivered the eulogy, while other members of the community got up and spoke from the heart about the caring and hard-working woman they’d all loved. Sierra was so torn between love and admiration for Lillian Rose and the feelings of anger and betrayal her deception had aroused within her. For now, Sierra was choosing to honor her grandmother. There would be plenty of time later for reflection and recrimination.
Sierra’s best friend, Marissa Santana, sang a beautiful rendition of “How Great Thou Art” as the Jackson family solemnly rose to lay flowers on the casket and utter their final goodbyes.
Sierra followed her parents through the line of mourners, clutching a red rose to her breast as if her life depended on it. When she reached her grandmother’s final resting spot, she placed a kiss on the rose and threw it on top of the coffin. As she made the sign of the cross, Sierra blessed her grandmother, torn between love and anger, grief and betrayal.
Grammy! Sierra wanted to cry out to her grandmother, but she spoke to her silently. Shame on you for lying to me about Caleb! Shame on you for being selfish and mean-spirited! And may God forgive you for destroying the only love I’ve ever known.
“Rest in peace, Grammy,” Jason whispered as the attendants lowered the pearl-colored casket into the ground. Jason wiped away a tear and blew a farewell kiss to Lilliana Rose.
A lone tear trickled down Sierra’s face as she thought about all her grandmother had meant to her in her lifetime. Lilliana Rose had been everything to Sierra! She had worshiped the woman! Despite Lilliana Rose’s tangled web of lies, she still felt a fierce amount of love for her grandmother. It was one of the many things the past eight years had taught her. Real love doesn’t die easily. “I love you, Lilliana Rose, and I will miss you,” Sierra whispered, her heart feeling as if it was breaking in two. “But I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”
God, please help me reconcile all of these feelings so that I don’t harbor bad feelings in my heart.
Lilliana Rose. Matriarch. Friend. Mother. Grammy. Sierra couldn’t suppress the flood of memories as they rose unbidden to the surface. Lilliana Rose and Minnie sitting at the kitchen table sipping lemonade and swapping stories. Lilliana Rose barking orders at the ranch hands as they broke in a rowdy stallion. Lilliana Rose’s voice bursting with song as the family attended Christmas Eve midnight mass. Her grandmother kneeling among her prize winning roses and tulips, a hoe in one hand and a watering can in the other.
Oh, Grammy! You meant the world to me!
Sierra, Jacey and Jason watched in silence as Brock broke down in a torrent of weeping at the gravesite, his sobs filled with despair and loss. Their mother supported their father by having him lean on her as she guided him back to his seat. Aunt Simone patted Brock on the back and leaned her head on his shoulder, whispering words of comfort as she huddled against him. The two siblings had never been particularly close, but for this one moment in time they were joined as one.
A startling sight in the distance drew Sierra’s attention away from the ceremony and her familys’ grief. Behind a large oak tree, almost hidden from sight, stood a dark-skinned man, his face ravaged by time and old age. He stood behind the tree, openly weeping into his handkerchief. The man was striking for two reasons—his unruly mane of pure white hair and Rip Van Winkle beard combined with his overwhelming grief. Sierra found herself mesmerized by the old man’s appearance. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had crossed paths with this gentleman at some point in her life. Try as she might, she couldn’t remember where or when.
“What in the world is he doing here?” Sierra muttered as she laid eyes on the last person in Briarwood she would’ve expected to see at her grandmother’s funeral.
Caleb! He had appeared out of nowhere and was tugging on the sleeve of the elderly gentleman, who looked as if he was putting up a pretty good fight against Caleb’s strong arm tactics. She would bet her last pair of cowboy boots that the old man struggling with Caleb was Jock Matthews himself.
***
Caleb closed his eyes and wished for a moment that he could bury himself in the dirt. He would give anything or any amount of money to be as far away as humanly possible from this nightmarish scene. His grandfather, who had recently celebrated his eightieth birthday, was putting up a major struggle as he discreetly tried to lead him away from the cemetery. What business, he thought, did an eighty year old man have in giving him a run for his money? And it was his grandfather, no less. He wrinkled his nose as the odor of whiskey assaulted his senses.
“Poppy, come on. It’s time to go home now.” Caleb tried to make his voice sound soothing, although to his own ears it sounded like begging. He felt desperate. He might have been imagining it, but he’d thought Sierra had been glancing in his direction, and he felt certain that within minutes one of the family would approach them and ask them to leave the premises. After all, neither one of them had been invited here.
“Home? I can’t go home now, son.” A befuddled look appeared on Jock’s face. “I’ve got to pay my respects. For Lilliana. For Lilliana.”
“The service is over, Poppy. It’s time to go home.” Caleb reached out and grasped his grandfather by his wrist, his grip tight but gentle. Despite his tactics, Jock wasn’t budging, and beads of sweat began to break out on Caleb’s forehead as the skirmish became more heated. By this time his grandfather was bucking like a wild bronco and flailing his arms in every direction.
“No!” Jock shouted as he wrenched his arm away from his grandson and began to make his way towards the burial site, his long legs moving more rapidly than Caleb could ever remember.
As the mourners walked away from the gravesite and headed toward their parked vehicles, Jock raced toward the burial plot, managing to keep two paces ahead of his grandson. Caleb had no intention of running after his grandfather, although he knew that with little or no effort he could catch up with him and stop him in his tracks. He didn’t want to attract any more attention to him or his grandfather, and he felt certain that the sight of him in hot pursuit of an elderly gentleman would surely cause tongues to wag.
He didn’t want to embarrass Sierra or her family on this sacred day. Ugh. He was doing it again! He was acting as if he cared about the pampered princess. As if her getting her little feelings hurt was a big deal to him. Sierra Jackson meant nothing more to him than a bad memory.
By the time Caleb caught up to his grandfather all of the mourners had left the burial site, causing Caleb to utter a silent prayer of thanks for small mercies. For a brief second every nerve-ending in his body pulsed with feeling, as if he was being jolted by an electric current. A deep sense of awareness filled him, and he knew without turning around that Sierra was standing directly behind him. It had always been that way with Sierra - her mere presence made the hairs on the back of his neck tingle.
He stood with his back to her, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume that hovered in the hot, hazy air. If he closed his eyes, he thought for a brief moment, he could almost pretend it was that night long ago when she had worn that same intoxicating perfume and he had kissed her for the first time.
“Caleb.” The way she softly breathed his name made his gut clench, and for an instant he felt like running in the opposite direction. This woman was dangerous to his senses, to his self-control, to his ability to think before acting...and most of all, to his heart. Whenever she was anywhere near him he lost all sense of reason and he found himself acting like a teenager all over again. In some ways he still felt like the dirt poor, eighteen-year-old boy who had fallen in love with the richest girl in town...and lived to regret it.
Caleb turned towards Sierra, words of apology tumbling off his lips as he met the wounded brown eyes that reflected a sorrow he couldn’t ignore. She was hurting badly. He could see it etched on her face, by the slight dark shadows under her eyes and in the way she wrapped her arms around her middle. She looked like a wounded bird, her fragility and pain in direct contrast to the feisty, strong Sierra he had once known so well. He wanted to take her in his arms and shelter her from all the hurt and pain the world had to offer. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t afford to be so magnanimous, not after all that had passed between them. For all he knew she wouldn’t even want him to comfort her.
“I’m sorry,” Caleb said. “I tried to stop my grandfather from interrupting the service, but as you can see I wasn’t very successful. He was determined to be here.”
Sierra shook her head as if to dispute Caleb’s words of apology. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Your grandfather hasn’t done anything wrong. If he wants to say goodbye to my grandmother, I think it’s only right that he do so.”
“He shouldn’t be here. Neither of us should be here,” he responded in an abrupt tone. For some reason he couldn’t stomach her kindness, for it reminded him too much of all he had lost.
“I think my grandmother would want Jock here, by her side,” Sierra said cryptically. “It’s where he belongs.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Caleb asked with a frown. What was Sierra talking about? Lilliana Rose and Jock, side by side?
“I think you should ask your grandfather. You must realize there’s a reason he wanted so desperately to be here today.”
“Yes, of course,” he said with a roll of his eyes, “because he’s plastered out of his mind and he’s having delusions of grandeur. Your grandmother would’ve sooner crushed my grandfather under her shoe than speak to him. He meant nothing to her. A man like my grandfather was never allowed in the same circles as the almighty Lilliana Rose Jackson. They lived in two different worlds.”
“You’re wrong,” she hissed, her beautiful face full of defiance.
Two little words spoken so convincingly rocked him to the core. What was she saying? He looked over at the gravesite and watched as his grandfather got down on his knees and crossed his fingers in a prayerful gesture, one that spoke volumes. Jock wasn’t a religious man, and it was the first time Caleb had ever witnessed his grandfather’s devotion to God. For years his parents had begged Jock to be a part of their church family. Time after time he had refused. Yet now he was turning to the Lord.
There had to be a good reason for his actions. And Sierra didn’t appear at all surprised by his grandfather’s appearance at the service or his sorrowful actions.
“What’s going on?” Caleb asked. “I think I have a right to know. No more veiled innuendoes. Just give it to me straight!”
Sierra hesitated for a second, as if gauging the extent to which Caleb was going to pursue the issue. In a halting voice she began to speak. “My grandmother and your grandfather...they were in love. They even planned to get married, but your grandfather jilted Lilliana Rose at the altar. She never got over it. And evidently, he never got over her either. Otherwise, he probably wouldn’t be here today.”
“Who told you this messed up story?” Caleb demanded, his face fierce and forbidding as he gazed at her. “Whoever told you this fairy tale lied to you. They got it all twisted up.”
“It’s not a fairy tale. The story came straight from my grandmother. Why would she make up a story that your grandfather could so easily deny? Ask him, Caleb. Go on and ask him.”
Caleb turned around to confront his grandfather, panic swiftly sweeping through him as he turned toward the burial plot in search of Jock. He was no longer kneeling at the gravesite. He was nowhere to be seen. “Where is he?” Caleb demanded as he whirled around and began searching for his grandfather. “Where did he go?”
Sierra turned around, her face reflecting her confusion as she searched for Jock. “I don’t see him anywhere. He must have taken off when we weren’t paying attention.”
“Shoot!” Caleb uttered, his voice hoarse with frustration. “I promised Mama I’d bring him back to her house...safe and sound. She’s going to be crazy with worry.”
“Bring him back? Is there something wrong with your grandfather? Is he sick?”
“None of your business,” Caleb snapped. Immediately he regretted losing his temper, and he watched as she abruptly turned her back on him and began to walk away. “Wait, Sierra. Don’t leave.” She stopped in her tracks and turned back toward him, her face reflecting her wariness.
His posture was defensive as he spoke to her, his arms fisted in his jean pockets, shoulders rigid as he met her gaze head on. “Yeah, something is wrong. My grandfather has a chemical imbalance, complicated by a problem with booze. It makes him do crazy things sometimes if he’s off his meds and on a bender. We never know from one minute to another where he is or what he’s going to do next. One minute he’s fine and the next he’s acting very erratic. The reason I tracked him down here is because I was afraid he’d make a scene.”
“Well, he didn’t make a scene, Caleb. He did my grandmother a great honor by coming here and paying his respects,” Sierra said calmly.
“I'm glad he didn't ruin the service,” Caleb said, “but I wish he hadn't run off the way he did. It’s concerning.”
“I’m sorry about your grandfather. I-I have to go. My family's waiting for me over there.” Sierra nodded her head toward a cluster of oak trees where a long, dark limousine sat waiting for the missing member of the Jackson family. “I wish I could stay and help you look for your grandfather. I’d like to talk to him myself. I need to settle something with him for my grandmother.”
Gruffly, Caleb said, “About this afternoon...I was probably too hard on you. I’m sorry about your grandmother. It’s not easy losing a loved one.” I know that firsthand, he said to himself, because when I lost you my entire world turned upside down.
Sierra looked down, managing to avoid his gaze, her hands nervously fiddling with the clasp of her purse. “I thought you were going to say you were sorry about...kissing me.”
“I could never truly be sorry about that,” he said in a low voice.
Sierra swallowed nervously and opened her mouth to respond, her words dying on her lips as he took a step toward her. She took two steps backwards and then quickly turned on her heel, her legs moving at a rapid pace despite her three inch Laboutin pumps and her form-fitting skirt.
Sierra moved as if she was scared he might kiss her right here at the cemetary, Caleb thought with a smile. The nervous look on her face had said it all. She was running for self-preservation. She was running from him.
“Scaredy cat,” Caleb yelled after her. He could tell by the way she turned her head to the side that she’d heard his comment.
For a few moments Caleb watched Sierra walk away from him, silently admiring the proud tilt of her shoulders, her classic outfit and the sleek, muscled curve of her leg. He chided himself yet again for caring about the woman who had so cruelly broken his heart. Why? he asked himself. Why did it always seem as if Sierra was walking away from him?
***
Yancy Ralston was the type of man who handled matters of business in the same way he handled matters of the heart: quickly and with as few complications as necessary. It was in this manner that he hoped to settle the estate of his oldest and most beloved friend Lilliana Rose Jackson. Yancy was a tall, distinguished looking gentleman in his late seventies, although he could have passed for a decade younger. He was an average-looking man, although he was known to break hearts in the senior circle whenever he turned on his famous charm. Yancy was the type who never broke a sweat, always maintaining his dignity and composure regardless of the circumstances.
Dignity and composure were two necessary ingredients in the reading of a will, especially when so much was at stake. When a woman had as much money, power and influence as Lilliana Rose, Yancy mused, there was usually a group of relatives waiting in the wings to divvy up the estate. The Jacksons were a different breed entirely. Yancy knew that for a fact. He had known Lilliana Rose’s children and grandchildren their entire lives. He had watched them grow up from infancy to adolescence, then finally to adulthood, where each had fulfilled the promise of their generation. Now the entire family was in mourning, as he himself was, for a rare breed of woman who only came around once in a lifetime.
It was time he began the business of settling his best friend’s affairs.
Gently, he cleared his throat, then proceeded to speak. “Lilliana Rose had strict instructions regarding the reading of her will. She wanted all the family to gather at the homestead on the day of her funeral at two o’clock,” Yancy explained to the group who had gathered in the library after returning home. In addition to the immediate members of the family were Lilliana’s attorney, Sam Jarvis, along with the familys’ cook, Minnie, who’d been her grandmother’s most faithful companion.
Yancy appeared nervous as he prepared to read the document, his large fingers adjusting and readjusting his glasses on the brim of his nose. Suddenly he cleared his throat, shuffled the pages on the desk and began to read aloud. “I, Lilliana Rose Jackson, being of sound mind, if not body, do hereby dispose of my estate. To my beloved son, Brock, I leave the homestead, as well as full ownership of the company, Jackson & Jackson, along with a sum of five million dollars. And to my darling Simone, I leave five million dollars and a seat on the board of Jackson & Jackson. I also leave my daughter the family diamond that her father gave to me upon our engagement. It is my fondest hope that in the coming years my two children will mend their differences and grow together as a family.” Yancy paused for a breath and reached for the tall glass of water that Minnie had thoughtfully placed in front of him on the desk. He looked around the room for a brief moment in a clear attempt to gauge the reactions of the people in the room. Although Brock was clearly overwhelmed with gratitude over his mother’s bequest, Simone sat stone-faced in her chair, as if she had no reaction to the proceedings.
Sierra sat in her chair and listened to the proceedings, a tender smile lighting up her face as she heard her grandmother’s bequest to her father. The family company meant the world to her father, and although he had been Chief Executive Officer for almost twenty years, he had longed to make the company truly his own. While Lilliana Rose had built the company up with the help of Sierra’s grandfather, Webster, she had never loved working at Jackson & Jackson as much as she loved the Diamond Lil. The ranch had always been her true heart and soul. It had been her life’s grand passion.
Sierra heard Yancy reading her mother’s name, followed by Jacey and Jason. Both of her siblings had received two million dollars in cash, one million in stocks along with a seat on the board at the family company. Lilliana Rose had left her beloved daughter-in-law most of her jewelry and a large sum of money. Sierra forced herself to pay attention as she heard Yancy speaking her name. “And to my baby girl, Sierra, I leave the Diamond Lil Ranch, as well as two million in cash and one million in stocks.”
Sierra gasped as she heard the stunning inheritance. In her wildest dreams she had never expected her grandmother to leave her the ranch. Clearly, she wasn’t the only surprised person in the room. As soon as the words tumbled off Yancy’s tongue, Aunt Simone leaped from her seat and cried out, “No! No! It isn’t fair. The Diamond Lil should’ve been left to me.”