Chapter Two

Now and Then

I’ll never forget the day I met Kaden Kendrick. He arrived on the tail of a powerful storm — thunder, lightning, one hundred mile per hour winds. The earth was washed clean for his entrance into my life. One moment the world seemed empty, normal . . . predictable. The next is the reason for my story.

Time stopped having meaning on that day one year ago. Time was altered. My entire reality would be changed forever.

My life was in a rut. I was twenty-nine years old and had been married for ten years to my high school sweetheart. I went to work, came home, barely talked to my husband, watched some television, and went to bed. I did this over and over again. I didn’t know how to escape, how to change my situation. No other options seemed feasible. I couldn’t leave my husband. There wasn’t a valid reason to do so. I was stuck.

And then one day I was invited to a company for a job interview. And everything changed.

I can’t tell you about that change until I first tell you about who I was, how I met my husband, and the rollercoaster ride the two of us have been on.

In order for you to understand me, you need to know me. You need to know who I am. I’m not a cheater. I’m not a monster. I’m lonely. I’ve been lonely for so very long.

Each morning when I look in the mirror, I’m miserable with the reflection gazing back at me. I’m lost. I’m alone. I’m scared. But Kaden seems to know me. He seems to know what I need. Much more than my husband does.

The early part of my childhood was miserable. My father did the best he could, but he was a man, raising a young girl on his own. He also thought we should all go back to the Stone Age where we claimed our land, each person living by the honor system.

Fight the power. That was, and still is, my father’s belief. I don’t know how I grew up thinking so much differently than he does. Maybe it’s because I didn’t like being poor. Maybe because I had dreams. Maybe because I wanted more.

You must be confused. I can imagine, but please bear with me. This story is hard for me to tell. I feel as if I’m letting something go by sharing with you, as if I’ll lose more of myself than I’ve already lost, as if you might take that final piece from me.

My name is Miranda Dagwood. I’m nothing spectacular, standing about five feet, four inches tall, long dark hair, hazel eyes. I haven’t stepped on a scale in over a year, but I’m neither fat nor skinny. I’m neither proud nor ashamed of my body. It is what it is. I wouldn’t be picked for the cover of Vogue magazine, but I also wouldn’t be asked to buy a second seat on an airplane. I’m comfortable with the reflection that gazes back in the mirror.

I stopped caring what people thought about me around the time I turned fifteen. Those girls — you know the ones — the horrible popular girls in school, who have money and power. Yes, teenagers have power. What I didn’t realize then was that their power is limited. It doesn’t last beyond the gates of high school. They won’t hold that power when they walk into the real world.

They get to be at the top of the food chain for a few years, and then life has a way of knocking them down when they’re no longer in the protective pack they made during those formidable years.

But they managed to make my life a living hell. I even tried suicide once. How had I given them that much power over me? I don’t know the answer. All I know is they made me so miserable I once took an entire bottle of pills.

Luckily, or some would say, unluckily, I was found by my dad, who rushed me to the hospital where my stomach was pumped. The sight of tears in my father’s eyes shamed me. I never tried anything so stupid again. I realized what taking my life would’ve done to him. I would’ve hurt him much more than anyone could possibly hurt me.

At fifteen I realized those girls didn’t define who I was. I found a job, bought new clothes, and walked through those school halls with my head held high. When I looked in the mirror, the reflection staring back started to have confidence.

I wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the school, but it didn’t matter. I was unique, talented, and had something to offer the world. They weren’t allowed to take that away from me. They weren’t allowed to hold power over me. My life began that year. Once I started to truly live nothing would ever be the same again. Doesn’t it happen that way for most people? Don’t they wake up one day and realize they are more than what others think they are? I’ve talked to many people and most say they had that same flash of insight. The ages always differ, but the flash is still there.

I was at a youth activity the day Mason appeared over the top of a hill. I loved the people I went to youth group with. I’d finally found my home — the place I was accepted. The leaders were a great influence in my life, though it took me a long time to appreciate what they were doing for me.

We were riding in the dunes; church members had donated their expensive four-wheelers for us to play with. I’d just gotten my hair done and felt confident, beautiful even. That was a first for me. There I was, standing next to my friends, my hair blowing in the breeze. No way was I tying it back, even though the coastal wind whipped it in my face. It was done up to perfection — in my humble opinion. And for a girl who didn’t dress up much, I was quite proud.

One minute the world rotated normally, and the next it was out of sync. I didn’t notice when it happened, when that second of time froze. I barely noticed him at first. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I didn’t believe in myself enough to think I could have one.

Mason Kendrick had recently moved into town. I didn’t know him, didn’t necessarily care to know him. But he noticed me, and he seemed to only want me. Later this would be the thing that made me want him — need him — rely on him.

“Miranda, check him out,” Audrey whispered as she shot her elbow into my side a bit too roughly.

“Ouch.” I turned to glare at my best friend, the person I cared so much about.

“Pain is beauty. Now suck it up and turn to your left,” she said with urgency.

Of course I turned the wrong way.

“Your other left,” she hissed.

I smiled before glancing over my shoulder.

Our eyes connected. He was nothing special. He appeared to be a little under six feet and was kind of scrawny, looking like he was only just beginning to have muscles. His light blue eyes fastened to mine, capturing me for the briefest of moments, before I pulled away and discretely checked him out through the corner of my eyes.

I’d never really been interested in boys. I considered them friends, nothing more. I enjoyed getting sweaty while playing a game of two-on-two basketball. I ended up with a bloody nose at least twice a month as an elbow connected during a rough game. I’d spit it out and continue playing. I liked boys — as friends; they were far less catty than girls.

My newfound friends thought that was strange. They didn’t understand why I wasn’t pouring through magazines like the rest of them or making sure my hair and makeup was perfect before leaving the house. I discovered I liked doing my hair and putting on a little mascara, but I didn’t feel the need to do it daily.

As a matter of fact, I’d much rather throw on a pair of sweats and an old hoodie and call it a day. That thirty minutes of extra sleep was much more important to me than primping in front of a bathroom mirror. I’m sure my dad was relieved as we didn’t have the money for all the things normal teenage girls liked and wanted.

I dismissed Mason within the first minute of inspection. If he was a part of our youth activity, I’d see him. Of course I’d be polite, but let the tittering girls fluttering their eyelashes have at him.

I wasn’t interested.

“He’s coming over,” Audrey said, her look almost panicked.

“So what?” I told her and she looked at me as if I was an alien. So I shrugged. “Say hello,” I added, trying to appease her. Our friendship was unique and I wasn’t exactly sure how we had become and stayed best friends. I was, and still am, truly grateful for it though.

Audrey is one of those girls everyone likes. She has a natural beauty about her that simply shines. She’d been one of the few who accepted me, even when I came to school in rags. Since the moment we became friends, we had been inseparable.

We’d even made a vow that if ever we needed to bury a body, we’d help the other and never unseal our lips. Some day that might actually need to happen.

“Hey. I’m Mason. We just moved here.”

Audrey and I turned and looked at the boy who’d finally reached us. Audrey seemed to be tongue-tied, so I spoke for both of us.

“Good to meet you, Mason. I’m Miranda, and this is Audrey. Where’d you move from?”

“California. My dad died last year and my mom needed a change. She knew someone here, so this is where we landed,” he said, instantly invoking our sympathy.

“I’m so sorry,” Audrey said as she reached out and put her hand on his arm.

“Oh, it’s no big deal. The guy was a prick. I never saw him. However, when I hit eighteen next year, I inherit the corporation. My worthless uncle is running it right now. My mom thinks I should sell it to him and let it go. I might. Depends how I feel,” he said a bit smugly.

“Oh,” I said, quickly losing interest in speaking to him. He was one of those kids. A spoiled rich boy. No, thank you.

“It’s great to meet you, Mason,” Audrey piped up, seeming to have missed his arrogant tone. I couldn’t pretend to be interested in what he had to say so I walked away, quickly jumping on the opportunity to grab one of the four-wheelers and drive away as fast as I could.

As the wind whipped through my new hairdo, destroying the efforts of my cousin who’d spent hours on it, I smiled. I loved the freedom of flying over the dunes. I had a lot to smile about then because I didn’t know my world had already started spinning in a different direction — in a direction that would lead me down a road changing me forever.