Chapter Thirty-Six

Now

As soon as Kaden and I walk into the large hotel, I wonder what sort of dinner he’s taken me to. I haven’t been at this fancy downtown historical hotel before. We are led into a back room where a banquet is set up, a band is playing, and at least a couple hundred people are milling around.

“I thought this was a dinner,” I whisper, feeling unsure of myself. I don’t like being insecure. He should have given me more information.

“It is a dinner. A client we did an excellent job for has a new project. This is the kickoff party for it. They asked me to say a few words.” Kaden acts as if it’s no big deal. There are too many people around to get into an argument with him. I’m just feeling vulnerable from his rejection in the car. I try to tell myself this, try to not let it bother me. I’m sure there’s an honest explanation. I’m normally rational, to a point, at least. But it seems I can’t be that way when it comes to Kaden.

Someone calls his name and I’m relieved when his attention turns away from me. I need a few moments to clear my head, try to figure out what happened in the car, what’s happening between the two of us. A public forum isn’t the place for that.

Servers walk around with wine, champagne, and appetizers. There’s a bar set up with mixed drinks and a beautiful table of exotic and delicious dishes. I have no appetite at the moment.

I grab a glass of white wine and look through the room, hoping there’s someone I recognize. Audrey steps out of a circle of people and smiles at me in surprise. She comes right up and snatches my glass, taking a large swig.

“Am I glad to see you!” she exclaims. “I don’t know how I got dragged here, but it’s been incredibly boring so far.” She finishes off my glass then grabs a passing waiter and takes two more, handing one to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

She waved a hand. “You know my godparents and all the crap they’re involved with. My honorary mother guilted me into coming. She’s still hoping I’ll find focus in life, maybe join the corporate world. I’d rather walk over hot coals in the desert than put on a suit every day and sit at a desk.”

Audrey is wearing a stunning black gown that has zero back to it and a slit clear up her leg. She’s beautiful, of course, but she carries an effortless grace about her that makes her even more stunning. It truly doesn’t matter what she wears. Large diamond earrings that probably cost more than I make in a year hang from her ears. She doesn’t wear things like that because she’s extravagant or showing the world what she has; it’s simply because she grew up in a world of wealth and it’s secondary to her.

“You look stunning by the way. Sorry. It’s the first thing I should have said to you,” Audrey tells me. “Was that Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome I saw you walking in with?”

There’s no judgment in her tone, only curiosity.

“He told me it was a work dinner,” I mutter. I finish my glass of wine before she does and am grateful the servers are out in force. I set my empty glass on a tray and grab another. I should slow down, put some food in me, but two glasses in a row calm my nerves without sending me over the deep end.

“Tricky, tricky,” Audrey says with a chuckle. Then squeezes my arm. “Here he comes.”

I don’t have to turn to feel him standing here. He’s at my side, his hand going down my lower back. I look around, praying no one notices.

“I turned and you were gone.” The words come out like a chastisement; I don’t appreciate it, especially in front of my friend. She wasn’t shy and doesn’t abandon me. I shift so he isn’t touching me. I don’t need that image for the gossip columns.

“You remember Audrey?” I ask him, ignoring his statement about me running away.

“Yes, of course,” he says, holding out his hand. Audrey takes it, eyeing him up and down. I love the look she gives him, the one that tells him if he gets too out of line he’ll have to deal with her. She might be small, but she’s certainly a force to be reckoned with.

As I finish my second glass of wine, my nerves stop jumping. I certainly don’t want to rely on the soothing effects of alcohol but I won’t turn it down when I need a boost of courage.

“This is a work event. I prefer if you stay with me,” he says as he leans into me, his words meant for me only. I stiffen, losing the ease I felt only moments before.

“This seems to be more of a social event than work, although they can be one and the same. I’m not a woman who appreciates being controlled by your every whim. I won’t be your arm candy while you talk to people about things I don’t understand. Had you told me what this night was about, I’d be prepared and not feel so foolish.”

His eyes narrow. He isn’t used to anyone speaking to him like this. He’s the one pursuing me, the one who decided he wants me. This is who he gets.

“Why don’t I introduce you to our clients,” he says after a few tense seconds. Then he turns to Audrey, a polite but distant look resting on his features. “If you’ll excuse us.”

He doesn’t wait for her reply. I shift so his hand is no longer resting on my back, but I go with him. He walks across the room, confident in himself and his importance. It’s truly a different experience to be with him, knowing every person in this room wants his attention, if only for a brief moment.

I accept this is work, that this is another aspect of my job. Dell has a beautiful Latina woman at his side, her arm wrapped in his. He cleans up well. I smile and wave at him. He stuffs an appetizer in his mouth and waves back, not giving any vibe that he finds it weird I’m here with Kaden.

Audrey sails through the room, a smile on her lips, a willingness to listen to those who stop her. I wish I was with her. Though she comes from the same wealthy world as Kaden, I never feel out of place with her, never feel as if I’m an afterthought.

Dinner is announced and we take our seats. I’m delighted when Audrey slides in next to me. Kaden is on one side, Audrey on the other. It’d be perfect if Dell was at our table too. I’ve grown quite attached to him in the short amount of time I’ve worked for the corporation. I’d love to know his wife.

Several people go to the stage and talk about various business ventures. I’m becoming a part of this corporate world and I want to listen, want to learn more. But I’m almost sick with nerves, having a difficult time paying attention. I pick at my food and get as much bread in my alcohol-filled belly as possible. I don’t need to get sick.

When Kaden stands and walks to the stage, I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be his — truly be his without anything holding us back — to have every person in the room know he came in with me, not as a business associate, but as his girlfriend.

Audrey breaks away from the gentleman she was speaking to and smiles at me.

“Damn, Miranda, he truly is a fine man,” she whispers.

We stare as he walks, his stride purposeful, his composure unshakeable.

“Yeah, he really is,” I say. “But it doesn’t mean anything.” I’m still feeling dejected after he became so cold in the back of his car.

“It means something, that’s for sure. It’s clear you’re having a rough time. You have to quit tearing yourself apart. You have to figure this out,” she tells me.

“Nothing should happen between us, but something is whether I like it or not,” I say.

She puts her hand over the top of mine, sympathy in her eyes. “Just remember you’re human, you’ll mess up in life. It doesn’t define you, nor does it erase everything that’s wonderful about you. It’s a privilege to know you, to be loved by you.”

I fight back emotion at the power of her words. “I’m so glad to have you in my life.”

“And I’m glad to have you,” she assures me. She squeezes my hand again.

People surround Kaden; he’s the last speaker for the night. Our dinner has come to its conclusion. There’s no more need to stay around. I don’t want an awkward ride home with him. I’d rather take an Uber.

“Are you ready to leave?” Audrey asks, obviously seeing distress in my face.

“Yeah, I really am.”

“Good, let’s go back to my place so there’s no chance of interruptions. You barely touched your dinner. We’ll order pizza, drink more wine, and watch a chick flick. There’s no reason to talk about things you don’t want to talk about.”

I smile at her, incredibly grateful. “That sounds like exactly what I need.” I don’t try to push my way through the throng of people vying for Kaden’s attention. Audrey and I collect our wraps and purses and walk from the building. We aren’t the first people to leave, though the party is still going strong. I relax as soon as I leave the building. I’m not going to attend work events like this anymore, not when I don’t know what’s happening with my life.

I thought I had made a decision when it comes to Kaden. I’m wrong. A cold affair isn’t something I can enter into lightly. Even if my marriage seems over, I can’t just have sex with someone. There has to be feelings there. I realize I do have feelings for Kaden. I think I’m also realizing, though, that he doesn’t have them for me.