Pulling up the driveway, I hear the kids before I see them, their shouts of delight reaching me from the garden, the springs of the trampoline going loopy. I rush to the house in search of Ava so I can soak up some of that praise she owes me. I find her sitting at the island in the kitchen staring down at something. My approaching steps don’t distract her, her focus engrossed. I realise what’s holding her rapt attention: the picture of our new baby. Her fingertip is tracing the edges of the paper. Her eyes look a little dreamy. I hate to disturb her.
‘Boo,’ I whisper in her ear, and her palm slaps on her chest as she starts.
She turns on her stool and glares at me, fisting the front of my T-shirt and yanking me forward. ‘Next time I call you, ring me back, Ward.’
‘Fuck, you’re sexy when you’re mad.’
Her scowl turns into an impish grin. ‘Then kiss me.’
‘What do you say, baby?’
There’s no hesitation. ‘Please.’
I pounce, lifting her from the stool to the island and utterly ravishing her bones. God, is there anywhere I’d rather be? Nope. Just glue my mouth to hers and let us be done with it. She is like the finest of wines, and I am an expert in that wine. ‘Spread your legs.’ They open and I move in, our mouths wild on each other. This is what happens when we’re apart too long. Starvation. I can’t get enough of her.
‘Jesse,’ she pants, her voice full of warning, though her relentless tongue doesn’t let up. ‘The kids.’
I’m about to say fuck ’em, getting a bit carried away with myself. But, instead, and very reluctantly, I prise myself from her lips before I take it a step further and push her back down onto the island. ‘Have you shown them the picture?’
‘No, of course not. I wanted to wait for you.’
‘Over dinner, or now?’ Truth be told, I want to do it now. I’m excited.
‘Now.’
I grin, knowing she read that in my eyes as I help her down. ‘Did you find shoes for your friend?’
‘Yes, a perfect match for the dress. She hung on for as long as she could to meet you, but she was going to be late for her date if she waited any longer.’
‘Another time.’ I try not to sound too casual. I know how much this new friend means to her. I need to at least pretend I care. ‘Maybe when I drop you to yoga?’
‘She’ll love you, and you her.’
‘Of course she will. I’m the fucking Lord of The Manor.’ Flipping her a cheeky wink, I find my stride and take us out to the garden. The creak of the trampoline with each jump grows louder as we walk, my smile growing with it, until it comes into view and I see my boy and girl springing up and down, laughing. And there’s another person. ‘Who’s that?’ I ask, my eyes set on the woman, her dark hair flapping in the air and around her face.
‘Oh.’ Ava sounds surprised, but not concerned. ‘That’s Zara. She was coming out to say bye to the kids. I thought she’d left already.’
I smile at the woman’s back. She’s a bit overdressed for playtime on a trampoline. ‘She’s got some energy.’
‘Why is she wearing her new dress?’ Ava asks, confusion now creeping into her tone.
I look at the black lace number, something uneasy settling over me, a weight on my shoulders that I can’t shake. My feet slow as we approach. Along with my heart.
And then it stops completely when the woman turns towards us. It’s a moment in time when I think I know what I’m seeing, but it’s so far beyond my comprehension, it takes my brain a moment to catch up. But the second I see her deep-set blue eyes, there’s no doubt. They look as troubled as I remember, and as she stares at me, they fill with hatred.
‘Oh fuck.’
She’s changed her hair colour. The blonde is gone, replaced with a harsh shade of mahogany that doesn’t suit her complexion at all. She’s always been pale, but now she looks bloodless. Heartless. Emotionless.
‘Lauren.’ Shock and fear has paralysed me.
Why didn’t I know she’d been released from the institution? We should have fucking been told! I need to get my kids off that trampoline, away from her and her murderous, fucked-up clutches, yet I can’t fucking move.
‘What a surprise.’ She walks to the netting around the edges of the trampoline, poking her fingers through the holes to hold on, a little breathless, but her words are as clear as day. ‘Nice to see you, Jesse.’
‘Lauren?’ Ava asks, confused. ‘This is Zara. You know each other?’ She drops her hold of me and takes a few steps back. I dare not take my gaze from the woman who nearly sent me to the grave twice. My babies are a few feet away from her, their bounces now slowing, too, their instinct telling them that something isn’t right. Fucking hell, how did this happen? Ava’s new friend, the one she’s been doing yoga with all these weeks, having coffee and going on shopping trips with, is my murderous ex-wife? I swallow, my body starting to shake. It’s a result of a bit of anger, but mostly, it’s fucking fear.
I need to play it cool. Not give the kids anything to worry about. Fucking impossible when faced with this woman. I know what lengths she’ll go to in order to ruin me.
Lauren casts her eyes over to Ava, a salacious smirk on her lips. ‘Oh, you mean of all the things he’s reminded you of, he forgot to mention me?’ Her cold eyes fall back onto my motionless form. My veins freeze. ‘Oh, Jesse, you have a habit of leaving your ex-wife off your list of priorities. And your dead daughter.’
Ava gasps, and I force myself to face her. She’s brought her hands to her head, her face twisting in agony. And then she screams. And I realise what’s happening. She’s remembering. ‘Ava, baby.’ I go to her, catching her as she falls to her knees.
‘No!’ she sobs. ‘No, no, no!’ She starts yanking at her hair, deranged and inconsolable. ‘Make it stop! I don’t want to know!’
‘Oh, Jesus.’ I fight back my tears, roaring to the sky, begging for someone up there to stop this insanity. I’m torn, needing to comfort my wife as she’s attacked with every tiny detail of our history all at once, the dams opening and flooding her fragile brain; but there’s a psychotic woman a few feet away on the trampoline with my babies. I know what she’s capable of. I know the hatred she harbours for me. Yelling, I break away from Ava to face my nemesis. Lauren’s smirk is wider. Sicker. Uglier. The kids are staring at their mum, shocked and confused at her hysterics.
Opening my arms, I swallow down my fear, working on keeping my face sure and strong. They need to see me strong. ‘Kids, come to Dad.’
They both take one step forward, but before they can go any farther, Lauren puts an arm around each of their shoulders, pulling them in tightly. They flinch, their eyes round now, but they don’t struggle. I’m so proud they’re smart enough to keep their cool.
‘They’re quite happy here with Auntie Lauren, right, kids?’ She kisses both of their heads in turn, her eyes on me. ‘Adorable, Jesse. Really adorable. And now you have another on the way! How exciting for you. Another addition to your perfect family. Ever wonder what our Rosie would look like if she’d have made it to this age? If you hadn’t killed her?’
The pain that bolts through me is excruciating. It makes me physically retch, my stomach twisting nastily. The kids remain silent, unmoving, but the shock on their faces is undeniable. I just need to get them away from her. ‘Lauren.’ I keep my tone level and sure, taking slow, careful steps towards the trampoline. ‘You don’t want to hurt my children. You’re not evil. Think about what you’re doing.’
‘Of course I don’t want to hurt them.’ She laughs, almost hysterically. Whatever the fuck they’ve been doing in that psychiatric ward all this time sure as shit hasn’t fixed her.
‘Then take me,’ I say. ‘Wherever you want to go. We’ll talk. See if we can work this out.’
‘Can you bring Rosie back?’
‘No one can bring Rosie back, Lauren.’ I reach the foot of the trampoline, threading my fingers through the netting myself, getting my face closer. I see that hatred in her eyes amplify. ‘Take me. You want to hurt me. They don’t deserve to suffer for my mistakes.’
Painfully, I silently acknowledge that either way, my children are going to suffer here. There’s no escaping it. Either this lunatic woman will hurt them – and I’ll go to the ends of the earth to prevent that – or she’ll hurt me, and that in turn will hurt them. I can’t win. But the latter is the lesser of two evils. I’m between the devil and the deep blue sea.
‘No, Jesse.’ Ava’s voice comes from nowhere, pulling my eyes to the left. She’s staring at Lauren, eyes almost crazy, and I know it’s because all the madness that’s just filled her head has made her that way. I’ve made her that way. ‘She’s already tried to kill you twice.’
‘Third time lucky?’ Lauren smirks.
‘You’re not getting the opportunity ever again.’ Ava’s head starts to shake, her eyes falling to me. ‘I’m not going to that level of hell again. I’m not praying for weeks for you to wake up. I’m not letting her hurt you again. You’ll have to fucking kill me first.’
‘That’s sweet.’ Lauren laughs again. ‘But you’re forgetting I have something you both cherish right here.’ She hugs the kids closer. ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself, Ava.’ She casts her cold eyes over to me. ‘Seems your husband wants to come with me.’ Releasing the kids, she collects a bag from the soft cushioned edge of the trampoline and reaches inside.
I get a glimpse of the handle of a gun, and air enters my lungs so fast, I stagger back one step. ‘I’ll come.’
‘No!’ Ava glares at me, furious. I ignore her and walk around the edge of the trampoline, unzipping the entrance. ‘Jesse!’ She’s losing it, and I flip her a death stare, silently asking her what fucking choice I have. She has our kids, for fuck’s sake. Ava’s so panicked, so overcome with what’s transpiring, she’s not thinking straight. She snaps her mouth shut and diverts her attention to Jacob and Maddie. And then it hits her. Her duty. I see the lioness in her rocket to the surface, accompanied by a new-found hatred for the woman now coming down the ladder of the trampoline, her gun pointed directly at my chest.
‘Dad?’ Jacob’s voice is ragged and cracked as he collects his sister and walks her to the furthest edge of the enclosure, as far away from Lauren as he can get them. ‘Dad, no.’
‘It’s fine, mate.’ I force a smile at him. ‘Everything is going to be all right, I promise you.’ I don’t make promises I can’t keep, and I’m ignoring the voice inside my head that’s telling me I just broke that rule.
Lauren reaches the bottom of the ladder and stares up at me as she slips her feet into a pair of heels I recognise. Ava’s. The hair, the dress, the shoes. It’s all been planned. I’m her fucking date. ‘You can drive,’ she says, reaching into my pocket. Every muscle I possess freezes as she feels around inside. I hiss when she skims my limp cock. ‘We’ll fix that, I’m sure.’
‘Get your hands off him!’ Ava screams, the wild in her eyes reaching a whole new dangerous level.
‘Pipe down, sweetheart.’ Lauren pulls out the keys for my Aston and thrusts them into my chest. ‘Let’s go.’
My limp hand takes the bunch, my eyes darting quickly to Ava. She’s made it to the kids, and they’re huddled together in the middle of the trampoline, my babies’ faces in their mum’s chest, hiding from this horror scene. ‘I’m driving.’ I say the words as clearly as I can, praying Ava hears my silent message. ‘In my car.’
‘Yes, in your car.’ Lauren wedges the gun painfully in my rib. ‘Go.’
I’m forced to turn before I get the opportunity to check for any recollection on Ava’s face. I fear she’s too lost in the new memories to realise what I’m trying to tell her.
As I’m guided to my car by the gun held at my back, I tussle with the temptation to turn and wrestle it from her hands. I’m big enough to easily overpower her. But that gun. One twitch of her finger, no matter how fast I am, and I’ll be gone. And then Ava and the kids will be helpless. No way am I risking their lives. Fuck mine. Fuck this. I deserve it all. Had I enlightened Ava, grown some balls and told her everything, she would have been aware of Lauren. Would have maybe seen some signs. Instead, I was the coward I was years ago, and I’ve put the most precious people in my life at danger’s door. My feet are heavy, my heart slowing with each step I take. She won’t need to kill me. I’m dying little bit by little bit the further I walk away from my family.