I didn’t hear Steve leave or even Sierra come out of the bathroom. I had never in my life fallen into such a peaceful sleep so quickly. It was like his confessions spread a blanket of love, acceptance, and protection over me that took away any and all stress.
I woke the next morning earlier than usual and with a renewed sense of myself. For so long I wondered how I was going to make a life for myself. I wondered if my dad and brothers were ever going to allow me to spread my wings; would they ever allow me to be with a man. At this point, I know Calvin is aware of the connection Steve and I have and to my surprise he hasn’t reacted negatively; but will it be so easy with my dad? Realizing there wasn’t anything I could do about it at this point, I got out of bed and saw that Sierra was already awake too.
The two of us took our time getting ready for the game. I showered first, while she ordered a light breakfast from room service. Once I was showered, she jumped in and I got dressed. I still wasn’t great at doing my hair or putting on makeup, so I let her take over, the end result made me feel beautiful. I sat on the bed telling her about what happened the night before, as she got herself ready. At first it was awkward telling her that I practically did a strip tease for her brother as he took pictures of me. The reality is, I wasn’t embarrassed by my actions; I did something to please the man I love. It wasn’t my fault that man happened to be her brother. When I asked her if she was uncomfortable hearing this about her brother, she stopped what she was doing and confessed, “It is a little weird thinking about my brother that way, but I know he loves you and I know it isn’t something you would just do with anyone. We have talked about it before and I know we have both been sheltered in the same way. So despite it being my brother, I want to hear about it because you are experiencing it before me. The more I learn now, the more I will know when it is my turn.” Her cheeks turned pink, she lowered her face and continued, “Every time I am around Calvin, my pulse picks up and my hands start to sweat. If he touches me, my panties are instantly wet and my nipples get hard...seriously just walking next to him yesterday the back of his hand brushed against my hand and boom instantly hard nipples. I don’t know what to do or say.”
I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her tight. The thought of her being with Calvin, my brother who has been my best friend growing up, is so exciting for me. I couldn’t help but squeal with excitement. When I pulled back she looked terrified. But I made quick work of telling her a few things I thought might put her at ease, “I found this blog that has taught me a lot about my sexuality. Growing up my mom didn’t talk about sex. I certainly didn’t learn anything from my dad or brothers. I’ll send you the link so you can explore for yourself, see what you like and don’t like.”
“Thank you, I was too young to really learn about sex when my mom was alive. Steve and Curtis have done everything in their power to prevent me from learning anything about it. Listening to Norma yesterday made me realize I can take control of my sexuality without being a slut and while still holding onto my values.”
I already felt like Sierra was the sister I didn’t have, but this conversation just confirmed that we were meant to be friends for life. I hugged her again and broke the tension by casually telling her I would let her know which products I had already tried from the blog. We were still giggling when her brothers and mine knocked on our door.
It was fun to see the way Steve reacted to how I looked. And I didn’t miss the way Calvin reacted to seeing Sierra. Her long brown hair was braided over one shoulder and her oversized Western State sweatshirt hung off her other shoulder. I had never seen Calvin look at anyone the way he was looking at Sierra. I was quickly distracted from watching the two of them when Steve stepped in close to me blocking my view. He lightly ran his finger over the purple W Sierra had added after doing my regular make up. He whispered, “Good morning beautiful.” As he tilted my face towards his and kissed my lips. When I opened my eyes I saw the twinkle of love and appreciation looking back at me from Steve. It was a look that confirmed everything I had going through my mind about the night before; this is the man I will spend forever with and I will never feel ashamed of the sexual desires he brings out in me. With those thoughts, I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him with all my strength. He returned the hug while kissing the top of my head. Before letting go he said, “Let’s go watch some football baby, before I change my mind and take you to the courthouse instead.”
It was only about a mile walk to where Norma and Alfred were; we could have gotten about a half a mile closer to them if we drove but the weather was nice so the five of us decided to walk. As we got closer to the stadium, we met up with crowds of people heading the same place. We were obviously the minority in our Western State wear, but that didn’t stop people from being friendly. Curtis started chatting up a group and invited them to tailgate with us. Steve didn’t allow me much space to interact with those joining our group; instead he kept his arm tightly wrapped around my shoulders. I saw that Calvin was sticking pretty close to Sierra as well, he may not be touching her but he wasn’t allowing anyone else to either.
By the time we got to the motor-home, Norma was pulling out the side dishes and Alfred had the grill fired up. Sierra and I jumped in to help Norma while the guys helped pull out all the lawn chairs from the underbelly storage. Curtis introduced his new friends to Norma and Alfred; upon appearance it was hard to determine who was a couple and who wasn’t. There were two girls: Callie and Marissa along with three guys: Will, Rick and Jay all very attractive and all seemed nice.
Once it was closer to kick off we helped Norma and Alfred lock things up before making our way into the stadium. Curtis decided to tag along with his new friends while the rest of us made our way to the general stadium seating for the visiting team. There were only about 50 die hard Western State fans, which meant we had really good seats. By the time kick off hit, the home team crowd began to spread out into the visitor's side. It was a close game that ended in our favor. Since we were a small group they let the Western State fans down onto the field to greet our guys as they made their way back into the tunnel. Alfred and Norma were known among the players; Alfred quickly invited the coaches and players out to the motor-home for a bite to eat before they hit the road. They couldn’t stick around long, but took Alfred up on the offer of food. We all pitched in getting that much food ready for the players and coaches. Sierra and I were outnumbered more than usual and it was clear that Steve and Calvin did not like the situation. Two different guys tried to ask Sierra out and I was invited to three upcoming parties, all before Steve sent us into the motor-home with instruction to stay there until the team left. Curtis didn’t stick around that long, he and his new friends helped serve the players, then they invited him to their off campus house to continue the party. Sierra and I were allowed to come out of hiding once the crowd was gone.
Once everything was cleaned up Norma pulled out the games. The six of us started with “Cards Against Humanity”. It felt good to laugh; I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed so hard. We played for points and I wasn’t surprised that Calvin won. At his loud celebration of himself I remembered the scratch tickets I had purchased before meeting up with Norma and Alfred. I grabbed two from my wallet and held them behind my back for him to choose one; he ended up with a BINGO ticket. You would think he won a million dollars he was so excited, despite not actually winning anything on the ticket.
“Adult Loaded Questions” was next. It was quite the eye opening experience. I didn’t need to know who Alfred would like to see naked. I also didn’t need to know what special talent my brother thinks he has. Nonetheless it was a fun game that taught me that Steve would choose to have sex in whip cream as opposed to chocolate syrup. He learned that I would watch professional sports on TV if everyone was fully naked. We didn’t declare winners because we got side tracked at every turn. We helped Norma put the games away and made plans for us to take off the following day right after lunch. We wished them good night and started the walk back to the hotel.
As the four of us walked back to the hotel, Sierra and I walked in front of the guys. We were busy talking and laughing about the day. Steve and Calvin were deep in conversation and it appeared that they weren’t paying attention to us. That notion was quickly squashed when a couple of guys stumbled out of a bar we were passing. As soon as they started making catcalls and crude comments to Sierra and me; Calvin draped his arm across Sierra in a possessive manner and Steve quickly interlocked our fingers pulling me into his body. Neither of them let go as we continued down the street. By the time we made it back to the hotel Steve invited me to watch a movie, once again making sure that Calvin would see his sister back to our room. Calvin let go of Sierra long enough to pull me away from Steve for a minute. He wrapped me in one of his monster hugs, and then he kissed me on the top of my head and reminded me, “You will always be my little sister and my first instinct is to protect you, but I know that man loves you more than anything in the world. Hold onto him, he will take care of you and protect you in ways you have never experienced. Love you Sis.”
I didn’t want to let go of him, I didn’t get to hug him very often and despite talking to him on the phone almost daily, I missed him. He knew me better than anyone else in the world and I trusted him more than anyone. I couldn’t help but give him words of advice in return, “I love you too Cal, I also love Sierra like the sister I never had but always wanted. Please don’t play games with her. She deserves to be treated like you want me to be treated.” Without needing to say anything else he knew what I meant, Sierra was not the same as all the girls he took out back home.
I was reassured when he responded, “She is special, Sis.” I knew then that I didn’t need to worry about Sierra, my brother may have played the field back home but he was always quick to call things as they were. Sierra was the first girl he had ever called special. With that knowledge I said good night to him and turned to Sierra. I wrapped her in a tight hug and whispered for only her to hear, not to wait up for me. Steve stood back waiting for me to make my way to him.
With his hand on my lower back he guided me to the elevator. I was looking forward to spending some time alone with him and despite my limited experience with men, I really wasn’t nervous for what could happen.
On the elevator standing side by side he began talking, “I hope you don’t mind but, tonight I really want to just talk to you. There are so many things I want you to know about me, about my life.” As he was talking I turned to look at him, but he refused to make eye contact with me. It was then that I started to get nervous, I never thought just talking to a guy would make me more nervous than getting physical with one.
As the elevator doors opened he took hold of my hand and guided me down the hall to his room. Thankfully we knew that Curtis wasn’t there and quite possibly wouldn’t make it back there at all. Once in the room, he grabbed us both a bottle of water from the mini refrigerator as I took a tentative seat on the bed. He walked around the opposite side of the bed, kicked off his shoes and took a seat on the bed with his back against the headboard. As I turned to look at him he patted the bed next to him, indicating that he wanted me to scoot in closer to him. Once I was seated beside him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his chest.
With a soft kiss on the top of my head he began talking. “Remember in my first email when I told you that there was a lot I wanted to share with you, but that I wanted to hold you while I did?” With a simple nod of my head he continued talking. “I know I told you that we lost my parents when Curtis and I were 16 and Sierra was only 14; but what I didn’t tell you is that we also lost our older sister at the same time.” I could help but jerk my head up when he shared that they had an older sister, none of them ever mentioned having an older sister; I don’t know how many times I had told Sierra I always wished I had a sister and how lucky I felt to have her in my life because it was like she was the sister I never had. Why wouldn’t she tell me, did I break her heart every time I mentioned her being like my sister?
Steve must have sensed the crazy thoughts going through my head and gave me a minute before he continued talking. Eventually he continued telling me about his family, “Sophia was two years older than Curtis and me. She was beautiful, even more beautiful than Sierra. She was smart, the smartest person I knew. She was also a little on the wild side, like Curtis. When she hit her teens she drove our parent’s nuts, she pushed and pushed until they would finally give in to whatever it was she wanted. Looking back I can honestly say it was like she was the baby of the family, she always got what she wanted. Sometimes it took a while, but eventually my parents would give in to her. When she finally convinced them she should be allowed to start dating she jumped into it without reservations. Her first boyfriend didn’t last long; he was kind of a dork and wasn’t really interested in making a real relationship work. After that ended, she started dating Cody; he was a year older than her, athletic, popular, and his family had money. We weren’t poor, but didn’t even come close to having the kind of money Cody did. In the beginning he was our sisters cool older boyfriend, he would include us on their dates. I looked up to him for the simple fact that he went out of his way to be our friend.” Glancing at him I could see he was lost in the memories as he told me the story. I wanted to give him comfort and wanted to show him my support but I wasn’t sure how to best do that. With my head already resting on his chest, I slid my hand across his ripped stomach and rested it on his side farthest away from me. Giving him a small squeeze he continued talking.
“Cody and Sophia had a rough relationship. We all witnessed them fighting more than once. They loved loud and fought louder. The first time I realized that Cody was physically hurting my sister I was in the 8th grade. The week before it happened I had been in the car with them, he was telling her to lie to my parents about their spring break camping trip. She knew our parents wouldn’t let her go if they knew it was just teenagers going. He told her if she didn’t go she couldn’t expect him to stay faithful to her. So, if she wanted him not to cheat on her, she needed to figure out a way to get my parents to let her go. In the end, she lied and I didn’t tell them the truth. I was the only one home when they returned. Sierra had gone with our parents to watch Curtis play soccer. I hate admitting this to you,” he paused taking a few deep breaths, then continued “I was only home because I lied about spending the night with a buddy only so I could have Lizzy Hamilton come over.” He paused and I could see him struggling to tell me the truth, but knowing him the way I do, I know he needs to tell me everything. “Lizzy was a year older and had already had sex with two of my buddies. We knew without having to talk about it, why I invited her over. She hadn’t been at the house long, just long enough to be naked in my bed when Sophia and Cody returned a day early from their camping trip. I met them outside hoping to stall them long enough to give Lizzy time to get dressed. I could feel the tension between Sophia and Cody, but rather than ask questions I just carried her bags into the house. When she came in, she wouldn’t look at me, she just said she was tired and dirty so she was going to shower and lay down. I knew something was wrong; I could feel it but I was a 14 year old kid who had been planning on getting laid, not dealing with relationship drama. I gave her space and tried to get Lizzy back into my bed. The whole time, my mind went back and forth between knowing I needed to check on Sophia and wanting what every other 14 year old boy wanted. I didn’t stop trying until Lizzy pulled my shorts down and saw that I wasn’t even hard. And if I am completely honest she is the one who stopped. She saved me the embarrassment by saying she couldn’t do it with my sister there. Once she left, I realized the shower had been running for the last 45 minutes. I knew then that something was wrong, the water had to be cold which meant she was hiding something.
“I stood outside the bathroom door and after another five minutes I didn’t really care about giving her privacy. I found her curled up in a ball at the bottom of the shower. She was physically shaking and unable to stand on her own. I started to panic, I didn’t know what was wrong with her. At first I was afraid she was taking drugs but when I asked her she looked me in the eye for the first time and told me no. It was at that point that I saw the bruise on her temple that she had been trying to hide from me. I helped her dry off and in that process saw all the other bruises on her body. I didn’t count them, but I know she had some on both her arms and legs the worst one was along the bottom of her ribs and wrapped almost the whole way from her side to her spine. I carefully got her dried off and helped her into her bed. I took care of her and tried to ask several different ways what happened. She ultimately didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t push her to tell me. That is my biggest regret in life, well that and not telling my parents that night when they got home.”
He once again took a break from talking, lost in the painful memory of what happened with his sister and lost in feeling like he had failed. I handed him my water, since he had long since finished his. He took a drink and continued telling me about Sophia.
“At the time I didn’t think much of it because the following week Sophia came home and announced to the family that she and Cody broke up. She wasn’t sad, but she wasn’t her carefree self anymore either. Cody continued to call the house, even tried to stay friends with Curtis and me. He told me once that if my sister ever told me that he hit her, she was lying and he made a point to tell me he never had sex with her. I can look back now and know that he was using us to manipulate the situation and was merely using us to keep tabs on Sophia. Ultimately they ended up getting back together after she agreed to go get ice cream with him the week before her junior year started. They broke up a second time when Curtis went to a football party and caught him with another girl. He couldn’t deny it because Curtis took pictures of the two kissing while he had his hands down her pants. They continued to break up and get back together clear up until Christmas break of her senior year and his freshman year in college. She made the decision the beginning of December that she was going to break up with him for good while he was home from college. The plans didn’t work the way she thought they would, but finally she was able to break up with him on the 27th while they were standing right outside our front door. I remember being scared and my parents didn’t know what to do when we tried to go outside to help when he got even more belligerent and Sophia would assure us she was okay then tell us to stay inside. I don’t know what would have happened had the neighbor not called the cops. The cops knew him and his family so they just escorted him home, thinking that would fix the situation. The following morning my parents took Sophia to check out her first pick for college. They were gone all day, the last time we talked to them they were stopping on the way home to get some dinner. Sierra was at a sleepover; Curtis and I were hanging out with friends at our neighbor’s house down the street. Everything from that point on is still a blur, I remember hearing sirens and seeing red and blue lights flash through the front window. I didn’t think anything of it, until all our phones started ringing at the same time. The message was from the same neighbor that had called the police the night before; he was looking for Curtis, Sierra and me. The group of us headed towards our house, it was clear long before we got there that something terrible happened. Cody ambushed my parent’s car as they pulled in. They didn’t even make it out of the car, my dad didn’t even get the car in park, he was killed first, and then my sister. He shot my mom in the back of the head as she scrambled to get away.”
I knew he could feel the tears that were dripping down my face onto his chest and stomach. I was no longer comforting him. He was giving me comfort, running his hand through my hair. We sat in silence as I grieved for him; all he went through, all the pain he experienced, all the guilt he carried and all he had lost. I grieved for Sierra and Curtis. They suffered the same and did so in silence. I also couldn’t help but grieve for myself. I would never know his parents or Sophia.
Once the tears stopped Steve continued, “We were lucky enough to have grandparents willing to take care of us; they moved into our house so we could stay in the home we had always known. Grandma passed away before Curtis and I left for college and Grandpa died right after Sierra graduated. I’ll always be thankful for them, but Sierra is the one whose life was impacted the most by them.” With those words I realized how much Sierra was holding in, she hadn’t said anything to me about her sister or her grandparents; she didn’t have a mom to talk to and she had already admitted that she didn’t talk to her brothers about personal things. I couldn’t help but let more tears go thinking about how hard life has been for Sierra.
“I am sure you can understand that going through that was the most life altering event I have ever experienced. It has shaped my life more than anything else. I walked away from it knowing two things: I will do anything to protect Sierra from getting into the same kind of situation Sophia was in and relationships aren’t worth it unless it is with the one. That being said, I will only give myself, my body, my heart and my soul to you.”
As he spoke those words I couldn’t help but look up at him and smile. He lightly brushed his lips against mine. We laid there for a long time without speaking; if it weren’t for the movement of him rubbing my back I would have thought he was asleep. He quietly asked, “Are you still awake?” I nodded in response. “Will you stay by me tonight? We don’t have to do anything; I can even sleep above the covers, I just need to hold you tonight.” Again I nodded in response.
He stood up and slowly took his t-shirt off, I’d seen my brothers pull theirs off the same way but watching him do it was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. He tossed his t-shirt at me and instructed, “Wear this.” I went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed. Through the door I could hear him tell me I could use his toothbrush if I needed.
When I walked out of the bathroom he was standing there waiting, wearing pajama bottoms and nothing else. I was struck dumb at the site of him. I left the light on because I wanted to be able to see him. I could see the questioning look in his eyes. I wanted him to know I was staying because I wanted to. “I should probably let your sister know I am staying with you.”
“Already taken care of, I sent her a text.” He spoke while taking me by the hand and leading me to the bed. He pulled the blankets back and allowed me to climb in then pulled them to cover me up. It felt like he opened and closed the car door for me, a simple gesture that makes me feel important.
He walked around his side of the bed and climbed on top of the covers. When I turned to face him I knew it wasn’t going to be enough. “Please climb in with me, I want closer.” His eyes met mine in the shadows of light shining from the bathroom, he paused his questioning look before deciding to do as I asked.
When he slipped under the covers he pulled me in against his body; one arm around my back holding me tight, the other reached for my leg and pulled it across one of his. My knee brushed against his growing erection and his hand holding my leg began to move. It started with lightly moving his fingers which were resting behind my knee, the movements increased and the next thing I feel is his hand caressing my ass which is basically exposed because all I have on is his t-shirt and a g-string. I couldn’t stop my hand from exploring his chest and abs. What started as my palms caressing his pecks, turned into my finger circling his nipple then tracing the ridges of his six pack abs. As I brushed the v of his hips, I trailed along the waist band of his pajamas until I met the hair leading from beneath them toward his belly button. As I twirled my finger in the hair, I watched his pajamas tent even further. Steve pulled my leg even further until I was straddling him. He ran both hands up the back of my thighs and his grip tightened as he took hold of both ass cheeks. He pulled me down onto him as his hips pushed up into me; my pussy clinching at the friction, the moisture that was developing turned into pure liquid. My g-string did nothing to absorb the arousal, it would have been impossible for him to not feel it because I could feel my wetness on his pajamas. He ran his hands under the t-shirt. He was caressing my hips as he worked his way toward my breast. Without his hands on my ass I was left to control the movement of my hips, I really didn’t have much control, my hips were moving on their own. The chase of the pleasure was a natural instinct and him squeezing my tits only increased the speed of my hips. He pulled my t-shirt up and over my head leaving me practically naked as I pleasured myself against his rock hard cock. I was lost, so deep in pleasure my eyes closed and head thrown back, until I felt the tip of his wet tongue circle my right nipple and the squeezing pressure increase on the left one. Our eyes locked with one another as he lifted my left tit to his mouth; rather than circling it with his tongue he wrapped his lips around my nipple and sucked hard. The pulsing of my pussy matched the sucking pulse of his mouth on my tit; the feeling was out of this world. I had zero control over my body, not the noises I was making, not the speed to which my hips were moving, not the grip I had on his hair and certainly not the climax that came barreling through me. My body froze as the orgasm pulsed through my body and his body went stiff at the same time, I was lost in my pleasure but I didn’t miss the pulsing of his cock between my legs. I opened my eyes as my body came down from the biggest orgasm I had ever experienced only to find his still locked on me. I tried to move off his body but instead he pulled me down and kissed me. Eventually he pulled away as he told me he had to get cleaned up if he was going to be able to sleep. Between his release and mine, he was forced to ditch the pajamas. He headed to the bathroom to change into boxer briefs. While he was in there I pulled the t-shirt back on and got comfortable while I waited for him to return.
Comforted by having her in my arms, I had never felt so peaceful falling asleep. I kissed the top of her head and whispered into the darkness, “Thank you baby for everything, you are a gift that I will love and treasure for the rest of my life.”