My parents and brothers felt it necessary to make it a family event to move me into the dorms. My younger brother Kyler rode with my parents in the Range Rover where most of my stuff, including my under the bed storage totes and my new bedding took up the back. I rode with my older brother Calvin in his brand new F150, we managed to put the rest of my boxed up stuff in the back seat since he had an extended cab.
When we arrived at the school, it took us awhile to find suitable parking for my dad and brother. We made our way to the dorm, my dad refused to let me or my mom carry anything so she and I lead the way. We found my assigned room where my new roommate, Sierra, was already there hanging out with two guys. One guy was laying on what was clearly her bed; it was already made and had a cute chevron print bedspread and coordinating throw pillows on it. The other guy was kicking back, all tattooed and shirtless on what could only be determined to be my bed. It took approximately 2.3 seconds for my dad to announce “There is no way in hell you are living here Hannah, I don’t give a shit what I said or how much we’ve paid. Fuck that, you are coming back home with us.”
Beyond embarrassed, I look to my roommate who didn’t even flinch at my dad’s reaction. I glanced quickly at the guy on her bed; he didn’t seem too concerned either. It was the reaction of the guy on my bed that surprised me; he slowly sat up while smiling at my dad. Immediately, I figured him to be a little slow, since it was due to him and the other guy that my dad was reacting this way. I watched in horror as my mom reminded my dad that he agreed to let me grow up a little. And Calvin helped calm my dad down long enough to find out that both guys were Sierra’s brothers. Another glance at the shirtless one, I realized he was the same athletic looking bad boy I kept checking out at orientation. After offering to help my dad and brothers unload my stuff, Sierra’s brothers bonded with my dad and convinced him that they were hanging out in an effort to warn off any males that might get the wrong idea about their sister. They even went a little further and offered to include me in their protection. It was at that point that I realized the shirtless one, Steve, wasn’t slow after all; in 2.5 seconds he determined that he and my father were doing the same thing, looking out for the women in their lives. And within minutes, Steve may have developed a man crush on my dad; it was at that point I realized I might just be screwed. My freedom was hanging by a thread.
After getting everything unloaded my parents took us, along with Sierra and her brothers, Steve and Curtis, out to dinner. Calvin invited Sierra, Steve and Curtis to ride with us: Curtis quickly claimed the front seat; so Steve sat in the back with Sierra and I. Climbing in the back first; I could feel Steve standing behind me, he wasn’t touching me and I am not even sure he was even looking at me but his presence was there and it made me feel a little dizzy. Thankfully Sierra climbed in after me, I just kept scooting over so Steve had to sit next to Sierra. The little bit of distance from Steve allowed me the space I needed to breath.
I wasn’t so lucky at the restaurant; we were seated at an extra-large booth. They had Sierra and I scoot in first and as soon as I began to scoot Steve sat down next to me. More than once throughout dinner his thigh brushed against mine; each time it caused an electric jolt to zap through my body and each time I held my breath. If Steve hadn’t won over my dad and brothers earlier, I am sure they would have paid better attention and done something about what was happening. Surely the zap I felt in my body would be evident on my face, if someone would just pay attention.
Saying good bye to my family was a little harder than I thought it would be. I started with Calvin, because I knew there was the possibility he would get emotional and it wouldn’t be something he would want anyone to see. When I stepped in to give him a hug, I could see he was barely holding it in, so our good bye was just a quick hug followed by him telling me, “I’ll call you later.” he quickly jumped in his truck and took off. Calvin and I are really close, he opted to take college classes online so he can work full time for my dad. Anytime I have been allowed to be social it was because Calvin included me in his circle of friends. He is my best friend more than my brother, well other than the protective sheltering side, that is all brother. He is two years older than me and I’ve been helping him with homework since I was 10 and he’s been sheltering me since long before that. My hope is that with me away, he will be able to spend less time worrying about me and more time doing his own homework and possibly meeting someone special.
My little brother, Kyler is closer to me than he is to Calvin so to him he was losing his go to person. I didn’t have dating advice but I am a female so he has been able to ask me questions without being judged. He’s an excellent athlete with a huge heart; he works hard on the field and truly wants to make people happy. He is almost 16 and girls are already hanging all over him. I gave him a big hug and told him to call me tonight so we could have our nightly talks via phone instead of in person.
My mom, Amy, started crying when I was saying good bye to Calvin and the tears continued while I was hugging Kyler. Looking at her was so much like looking at my own reflection. She and I could be twins, I can only be hopeful that I will age as gracefully as she has. She styles her thick hair in a bob, I wear mine long to the middle of my back; but we both have strawberry blonde hair with natural highlights. In the winter the red gets darker as the blonde fades. We have solid brown eyes and she is an inch taller than my 5’5”. My mom was into all kinds of sports as a kid, including softball and soccer. She had a full ride athletic scholarship to play soccer, until life got in the way. She has maintained her athletic body by doing yoga and recently she started doing PIYO, the beachbody workout that is a cross between yoga and pilates. We are close to the same size; except in the boob area, apparently I inherited my D cups from my dad’s side of the family. I am going to miss my mom; she is the poster mom and wife; supports my dad and all his faults 110% of the time and loves him more than anything in the world, right next to her kids. Sometimes I can tell she wants me to be able to experience what other girls my age do, but ultimately she always backs my dad and tells me, “Your dad just wants to know you are safe, he doesn’t want you to deal with grown up issues. When you are an adult, a wife, a mother, you will look back on your life and wish you could go back to being the kid he has allowed you to be.” When I hug her, she whispers for only me to hear, “Make the most of this experience. Enjoy it and grow. Know that we are here if you need us. I’m proud of you baby girl.” I give her a big smooch on the cheek and look to my dad.
I turn to where he is standing tall, all 6’5-1/2” of him, with his arms spread out wide open. Other than the last name McMann, I didn’t get much from my dad. He’s over a foot taller than me, with olive tone skin, naturally light brown hair with his first few gray hairs coming in on the side. He was blessed with crystal blue eyes; you know the ones you swear are enhanced by Photoshop when you see them in pictures. Despite having light brown hair, he has the blackest eyelashes I have ever seen. If not for his intimidating size, I am sure people would ask him if he was wearing mascara more often. Traditional in more ways that just keeping his only daughter sheltered, he was raised to work hard. He married my mom while they were still teenagers, says they got married pretty quickly because they didn’t believe in premarital sex. My brothers laugh at that story, but since I have never gone on a date, or even kissed a guy I have nothing to compare it to and think there could be truth to the story. My bedroom at home is on the same end of the house as theirs and if they didn’t have sex before they got married they have certainly figured it out over the last 21 years. I can’t even tell you how many times I could hear them, and not just one of them. I guess I can be thankful I never had friends to spend the night; I would have died of embarrassment if they heard my parents getting freaky.
My dad pulls me into his arms for the biggest hug of them all, he always gives monster hugs but this one tops all the rest. When I lean back to look at his face, the tears tip from my eyes. This man has frustrated me speechless more times than I can count; but in all of my 18 years I have never questioned whether this man loves me. He has shown me by example how I want to be treated by a man, he has provided me the foundation in my education that I need to succeed. All his actions and words have taught me I am worth more than any teenage boy was ever going to be able to offer me. I know despite wanting to be free of the chains he has locked tight, I will want this same treatment for my future daughter or daughters. He has always told me he will never apologize for sheltering me from the life my classmates lived. All I could say as I looked up at my dad was, “Thank you Daddy.” The look of love and the sweet kiss on my temple were all it took for the tears to speed up; I was just short of an ugly cry. He reminded me, “You don’t have to do this baby girl. You can come home with us and continue taking classes online.” with a wink he said, “you can stay home forever.”
I kissed his cheek before telling him, “Take care of Mom and the boys for me.”
With one more tight squeeze he whispered, “I’m so proud of you baby girl. I love you. Enjoy this time, I know you will be amazing.” At that I turned with a wave and made my way back into the dorm.
Holy shit! I just fucking told Sierra I wasn’t going to let her be distracted by anything, including her roommate. Well guess what, that was before I knew who her roommate was. Fuck me, I saw her during freshman orientation. She appeared shy which intrigued me, but it was her unusual red hair and big brown eyes that had my attention.
Words weren’t necessary with Curtis and I, he always knows what I am thinking. I’m guessing that is why he jumped in the front seat with her brother on the way to dinner. If it weren’t my mission in life to protect Sierra, I would have pushed her out of my way when she climbed into the back seat beside Hannah. I wanted to be as close to her as physically possible; there are no words I can use to explain it. I’ve never felt this kind of instinct to protect. Actually, it’s more than protect, it’s like I need to own her. That sounds totally caveman-ish but I can’t think of a word that describes it any better than that.
I had to say good bye to her family quickly because I know if her dad or brother saw the excitement I was fighting to contain, they wouldn’t hesitate to take her back home. Far, far away from me.