The next five days were a blur, in between going to classes and studying for our Friday morning Biology test, Steve let me practice driving. We were spending more and more time together and we were getting closer as each day passed. It was now expected that he would wrap his hand around my head and kiss my temple each time he said good bye. The expectation did nothing to diminish the electric shock that radiated throughout my body at each contact. The pleasure that ran through me each time Steve kissed me reminded me that I hadn’t had any alone time to play with my toy again and I still had to submit a product review.

Steve invited me to go out to dinner Thursday night before we did our final study session for our Biology test. It wasn’t until he came to pick me up with a bouquet of flowers that I realized this wasn’t just us having our usual dinner, this was a date. The good thing about how it went down was that I didn’t have the opportunity to be nervous about my very first date.

Steve placed his hand on my lower back as he guided me out of the dorm, once outside he took hold of my hand as we walked to the Ford Explorer he shared with Curtis. He was always a gentleman, opening the car door for me but he went further this time by reaching in and buckling my seat belt for me. Once it was clicked into place, he firmly pressed his lips to my forehead before slowly backing out of the doorway. Once we were on the road, he reached out for my hand linking our fingers together. For a brief minute I wondered if the jolting I felt at every touch was something everyone felt.

At the restaurant Steve pulled out my chair while I took a seat. Once seated, he reached across the table with both his hands and took hold of my hand like it was a normal thing to do. I couldn’t help but look around the room to see if everyone was watching us. All his attention was focused on me, I don’t think he looked anywhere the entire time we were seated in the restaurant, not when the waitress took our order, delivered our food, or dropped off the bill.

Conversation had always flowed easily between the two of us and sitting on our first date was no exception. He asked questions and listened to my answers, his attention showed his interest was in getting to know me. “Do you envision yourself getting married?”

Easy enough, “Yes.”

“Do you want children?” I nodded, “How many?”

“I know I want at least 2 children, I have always thought being an only child would suck so I wouldn’t want to do that to my own kid. I think if I had two boys or two girls I would be good. If I had one boy and one girl I would want to have one more, because I wouldn’t want to be the cliché family where the boy goes with the dad and the girl goes with the mom. Then three is an odd number so I would want to go for one more; I’ve always figured at that point I would end up with twins, at which point I would give up on the even number deal.”

“What the hell is the even number deal?” I can see the humor in his eyes as he asks.

“I don’t really know I have just always liked even numbers. Does that make me odd?” I know it was dumb but I couldn’t help it. I started cracking up at myself, eventually he was laughing right there with me.

“Okay, okay funny girl. Do you want to work or do you want to stay home?” Just like that he was back on track to finding out everything he wanted to know about me.

“My mom didn’t work, now she does all kinds of volunteer stuff but when I was little she was always home with us. I don’t know what I will want once I have kids. I have always envisioned I would do something with my dad. I certainly don’t want to sell cars, but I think there are a lot of things I can do that will help the businesses. Sorry, kind of a non-answer.” I ended with a shrug.

He just smiled before he responded, “Don’t be sorry Hannah, I am asking because I want to know, not because I have a check list of answers I am looking for. You could tell me you didn’t want marriage….okay bad example, because I would try to change your mind on that one. But you could tell me you wanted to be a stay at home wife and I would be okay with that. I have always figured I would have children someday, but I’ve never been dead set on the number.”

It was easy to answer all of his questions since I had spent so many years daydreaming about what my life would be like when I grew up. I could see the nervousness in his eyes when he asked, “What do you envision your husband being like?”

I had a hard time not blurting out, “You!” Before I could respond he jumped back in and asked me, “Wait, what I really want to know is, what do you want your marriage to be like?”

I didn’t want to put myself out there in a way that appeared desperate but I also didn’t want to disguise what I really wanted in a husband and marriage. I couldn’t ignore the physical way that Steve affected me nor could I hide the fact that I liked it a lot. I suddenly felt bold and realized I was never going to get what I wanted if I wasn’t willing to ask for it. I couldn’t rely on people reading my mind. If I am going to build a future with this man, I have to tell him what I want. Worst case scenario he didn’t want the same things I did and we could stop the direction our relationship was going. Taking a calming breath I boldly told him the truth, “I plan to save myself sexually for my wedding night. I plan to marry a man who treats me like I am his world. You have met my parents, so without giving you too many details I want what they have, plus some. I want to give my heart, my body and my soul to one person and I want that person to treat all of that like it is the most precious gift in the world. I want the physical attraction between the two of us to crackle, I want to be irresistible to my husband, I want to drive him crazy with the need to touch me, I want to play out every sexual fantasy either of us have ever had, and I want him to embrace my fantasies. But most of all I want to take care of him, love him and support him.” I struggled to maintain eye contact with him, I was pretty sure my answer was not what he expected to hear. It wasn’t until I started reading the different stories on the blog that I realized what turned me on sexually might fall into the kinky side of things, but since I had zero experience I didn’t know if that was normal.

With a tight grip of my hand he told me, “I need to know your fantasies but please don’t tell me while I am sitting in a restaurant and don’t tell me when I am alone with you either. There is a lot I want to tell you but quite frankly I don’t have a lot of blood flow going to my brain right now, your little speech has me rock fucking hard. Hopefully by the time we’ve finished eating dinner I will be able to stand up without causing a scene.”

Thankfully, our food was delivered shortly thereafter and conversation turned to our plans to travel with Alfred and Norma. We had plans to take off with them right after our Biology test the next morning. After dinner we headed to the library where we finished studying for the test. Steve walked me back to my dorm holding my hand the whole way. When we got outside my room, he ran his free hand down the side of my face while looking in my eyes. There was no way he could have missed the physical shiver that ran down my body at his touch. His voice dropped to a low whisper when he told me, “I was serious when I said at dinner that I need to know your fantasies, I haven’t been able to stop imagining what they are. I want to share mine with you. There are so many things I want to say to you and hear you tell me; but I also want to respect your desire to save your body for our wedding night. The only way that will happen is if you are out of reach while telling me. Will you email me one fantasy tonight before you go to sleep?”

I could feel the desire between my legs pulsing at the thought of sharing my most intimate desires. The fear of my fantasies being too kinky for him made me nervous. But I reminded myself I had to be willing to ask for what I wanted. So I agreed with him, “I will, but you have to do the same.”

The sound that came from him at my words was a cross between a grunt and a growl. He kept eye contact as he rested his forehead against mine and rested his hands on my hips. I had no control of my hands as they ran up his arms, along his shoulders and down his chest; I could feel his rock hard chest twitch in response to my touch. He held my head with both hands and replaced his forehead with his lips lingering longer than ever before.

He whispered good night before turning to go. I know he could feel me watching him as he walked away. At the last minute he looked over his shoulder and told me to text him when I was ready to send him my email.

My heart raced at the thought of sharing desires that I had only recently discovered. On the plus side, since I technically had zero sexual experience everything was still a fantasy. I could share something easy, something small. With that in mind, I rushed into my room and got started on what would be the first email to a man I honestly believed would be my future husband.

Dear Steve,

Before I share my first fantasy with you there are a few things I want you to know. My dad and brothers are the only males that have been a part of my life. You are truly the first male friend I have ever had. All relationship experience or knowledge I have has come from my parents. I know they have a healthy sexual relationship because back home I could hear them through the wall and have walked in on them being affectionate with each other, more times than I can count. Until I met you I never had sexual desires, I had curiosity sure, but nothing vivid. Maybe the vivid desires were under there somewhere but I certainly never acknowledged them.

When I met you, I experienced what I can only describe as an electric current that runs throughout my body each time you touch me. Every time your lips touch my temple or forehead, I have to squeeze my legs together because of the desire I feel pulsing there.

Because of you, I have started to explore myself sexually; in doing so, I recently had my very first orgasm. One last confession before I tell you my fantasy; because I haven’t done anything with a man, everything I have ever thought is all fantasy at this point. I have daydreamed about my first kiss, and envisioned being seen naked for the first time. I think those are a given as far as fantasies go, so I am sharing something beyond that. That being said, I am still easing myself into sharing my fantasies... I hope my first one doesn’t disappoint you or make you think I am a freak and scare you away. Here goes:

I want to spend one on one time with your cock. I want to pleasure you. I want to explore your cock with my hands, stroke it until you cum. I want to lick, suck, and taste it. I want to know that I can make you cum without having sex. I want to hear what you sound like when you cum. I want to watch your face and your cock when you cum. I want you to tell me what you like as I explore.

So I thought that was all, but as I re-read what I just wrote I realize there is more to my fantasy. I want to rub the tip of your hard cock around my nipples. Just thinking about it is making my nipples so hard they hurt. I think it would feel amazing if the tip of your cock was wet while touching my nipples.

Thank you for tonight. There were so many things that made it a perfect night in my book. I will replay our conversations over and over as I try to fall asleep tonight. Your reference to “our wedding night” when talking about saving my body will be at the top of the replay loop.

Good night Steve.

Xoxo,

Hannah

When I sent Steve a text telling him I was ready to send him the email, he responded immediately saying he would send his email at the same time. I held my breath as I hit send then refreshed to see if his email arrived. It did.

Dear My Sweet Hannah,

There are so many things I want to share with you, not just my sexual fantasies. The reality is that most of what I want to share with you, I want to be able to hold you while I tell you. My fear is that if we share our sexual fantasies while holding each other, we will cross a line that we both are saving for our wedding night.

I want to strip you naked; I want to get you down to the baby blue bra and matching g-string I unpacked for you the first night in your dorm. I want a picture of you standing in nothing but that bra and those panties. I want to slowly drag the bra strap down your arm; I want to brush my fingers across your nipples as your bra releases your beautiful breasts. Once your bra is off I want to stand behind you in my boxers and hold your naked breasts in my hands, I want to squeeze them softly and feel their weight in my hands. I want to feel my naked chest against your back, while I hold your body against mine. I want to press my rock hard cock into your practically naked ass. I want to kneel behind you as I drag your g-string to the floor. I want to run my tongue up the back of your legs. My hope is, it will drive you crazy and cause you to fall forward at the waist. Once you’re bent over, I will spread your legs apart using my hands, which I will follow with my tongue. I want to lick your wet pussy and drag my tongue all the way to your tight asshole. I want you to tell me what feels best so I can bring you the most pleasure. I want to use my tongue to make you cum, again and again. I want your wetness to cover my face. I want to know I can please you sexually without using my cock. I want all your pleasure.

I need to go shower, I don’t think I can sleep in the current state I am in. I can’t stop thinking of you in that bra and g-string and I know you will be just as fucking hot in real life as you are in my fantasy. I can’t wait to see you babe.

I want to kiss you so fucking bad, but I am afraid I won’t stop if I start.

You are mine Hannah. It is not a question I am asking you babe, I am telling you. By the same token, I am yours.

Sleep well. I’ll pick you up for an early breakfast before our test.

~Steve

As if writing my fantasy for her to read wasn’t enough, I got to see a glimpse of her fantasy. Fuck. Me. She is perfect. I couldn’t control the pang of jealousy that hit knowing that she just had her first orgasm. Call me a bastard if you want, I won’t make excuses for the fact that I wish I was the one that had given her that orgasm.

At the end of my email I had planned to go take care of business in the shower. Now, after reading her letter, I need to go shower to clean my mess up. The thought of her being up close and personal with my cock had me leaking like a faucet, but the image of rubbing my cock all over her nipples had me spilling in my boxers.