Chapter Eighteen
Apologies
“Naomi? Bella, wake up baby. Come on, what are you doing out here?”
I heard someone softly calling my name and felt a cold hand stroke my cheek. My heart fluttered a little in recognition.
“Joe? …You came back!” I said, trying to drag myself into consciousness. I could hardly move, my legs and arms were so stiff. When I became fully awake I realised I had fallen asleep outside the door to our flat. I was curled up in a fetal position on the hard floor, coatless and freezing cold. I coughed a little to clear my throat. Joe was crouched down beside me- the most welcome sight I’d ever seen.
“Of course I came back. I’m sorry it’s later than I planned. Why are you out here?”
“Oh Joe! I’m so sorry about our fight! I didn’t mean to behave like that. I thought you might leave because I acted so crazy. I came to find you but I forgot my keys and then I waited for you to come home but you didn’t. I…do you forgive me? I’ll go to counselling Joe, I promise. Just please don’t leave like that again.” I begged him. I knew how desperate I sounded and the sound of my voice made me cringe but I couldn’t help it. Joe was my world, he was the only beacon of light in my otherwise dark and lonely existence and without him to guide my way, I was blind. Relief flooded me as he pulled me up off the floor and hugged me tight. The warmth of his body felt like a blanket of comfort and safety wrapped around me. Joe was home.
“You slept out here? Jesus bella, I’m so sorry. I should’ve come home earlier. I went for a walk and popped into the pub for a quick pint. There were a few of our customers in there and they invited me to sit with them, we got chatting and before I knew it was midnight. I forgot to take my mobile phone with me otherwise I would’ve called.”
“Joe, I was so scared! I thought you weren’t coming home. I thought I’d lost you.” I sobbed into his chest.
“You could never lose me Naomi. It was just a silly fight love, everybody has them now and again. I’m not going to leave my wife because we had a fight.” He squeezed me tighter and I wanted to stay in his embrace forever. Furious with myself for nearly cocking it all up before it had hardly begun. “I just wanted to give you some space that’s all. God, you must be freezing.”
“I am…and really stiff.” I replied.
“OK Mrs. Ferrantino, let’s get you inside and warmed up si?”
Joe took out his keys and let us both inside. Before I could step through the door, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me over the threshold. I clung to him like a limpet. He put me on the sofa and wrapped a throw around my shoulders.
“Thanks.”
“Stay here, I’m going to run you a hot bath and get you a drink.” He instructed me, kissing my lips tenderly before he went off to the bathroom. I heard the water running and then Joe came back through to the lounge and went towards the kitchen area. I heard the clink of glass and he promptly returned with two glasses of Jack Daniels, neat with no ice. I received it eagerly and took a large sip, enjoying the smooth, warming feel of the liquid as it slid down my throat.
“Better?” He asked.
“Much.” I nodded enthusiastically.
“Good. Wait here, I need to go check on your bath.”
I drew the throw blanket tighter around my shoulders and sipped more of the bourbon. Everything was going to be OK, it had to be. There was no way I could live without Joe now. Living with depression was hard, it was always there lurking in the background waiting for an opportunity to sneak up on you and turn your world on its head. Joe was the stalwart knight who fended off the black beast that constantly circled the outskirts of my mind. For years I had fought a daily battle with that beast, often losing and succumbing to its crippling power. Joe had given me hope and love and the confidence to fight against it. Realising how quickly I had become dependent on his presence worried me a little. I fretted over the day I might wake up alone again and have nothing to fight for.
I would figure this whole mess out somehow. My very happiness depended on it. I knew I had to track down Laney Marsh, I had a feeling this happy status quo Joe and I had was in danger. If Laney was writing again and her words were appearing on my manuscript, how long would it be before things started to change with Joe and I? What if he suddenly disappeared back into the land of fiction? Or this Melissa woman became real and he developed feelings for her? I shuddered at the thought of all the possible things that could go wrong. Joe returned and took my glass, placing it on the coffee table.
“Come here you.” He bent down and lifted me into his arms again to carry me through to the bathroom.
“I can walk you know.”
“I know but I wanted to carry you. You, amore mio, need to be spoiled.” And he set me down on the bathroom floor. I started to undress but he stopped me. “May I?” He asked.
I raised an eyebrow at him, “You want to undress me?”
“If the lady would allow it? It would be my pleasure.” Joe’s eyes were smouldering, looking into them sent excited shivers down my spine. I nodded in approval of his request and he began his unveiling of me. He stood at my back and lifted my arms above my head, then took hold of my shirt and pulled it slowly off over my head. Dropping the shirt he ran his hands down my arms and over my shoulders, placing soft kisses on the back of my neck. I dropped my arms as he reached around front to unbutton my jeans. He peeled down the waistband and tugged it past my hips, gently kissing my skin as he went. My pulse quickened with every touch of his lips. He surprised me when he didn’t take things further, instead, when I stepped out of my knickers, he offered me his hand to guide me into the bath.
“Well, aren’t we the gentleman tonight!” I teased.
“It has been known, although I can’t guarantee I won’t want to do some very ungentlemanly things to you later.”
The bath was glorious, hot and deep and full of soft, foamy bubbles. Joe had lit a scented candle which he had placed between the two taps. He turned out the light and told me to relax for a bit. I didn’t want him to go but he said I should close my eyes and just soak out the cold from my body.
“I’ll be back in a little while bella. Do you want another drink?”
“No, I’m good thanks.” I wanted to stay sober. The single Jack Daniels had done its job and warmed me up but I didn’t need any more. Joe closed the door softly and I sighed, sinking further into the deep water. I began to feel the chill leave my bones and the aching muscles start to ease. The candle flame flickered and made the shadows dance on the tiled wall. I let my mind relax and let go of all thoughts, just for a minute. Today had been stressful, it was now almost 1am and I started to feel sleepy, despite the impromptu ‘nap’ I’d had on the outside landing.
Joe came back a few minutes after and opened the door, peeking his head around it he asked if he could come in.
“Of course you can.”
Joe, grinned and entered the room, naked. Suddenly I didn’t feel quite so tired.
“May I join you?”
I sat up and scooted forward so he could climb in and sit behind me. He sat and pushed his legs either side of me so I rested against his chest. He kissed the top of my head and reached for the sponge. After he got it good and lathered up, Joe began to gently wash me. It was the most sensual, beautiful thing I had ever experienced.
“Can I wash your hair?”
“Really? You would do that?”
“I’d like to.”
“You really are incredible, you know that?”
“I know.”
“Well, at least try and be a little more modest.” I laughed.
“It’s not in my nature bella. No one can ever love you better than I can. That’s not me being egotistical, it’s just the truth. I am yours, in body and soul and you are mine.”
I passed him the shampoo. “Well then let’s see if your shampooing skills are up to scratch shall we?”