Chapter Twenty-Two
The Truth Hurts
Holy fucking shit! A horrifying realisation settled in my mind, I had done this. I had hurt Joe by ripping up the page in the manuscript. That must’ve been the pain he’d felt in his chest, the reason for his fall. Joe was connected to my manuscript and I, of all people, should’ve known that. That manuscript was the reason for his existence and now I knew it could also be his demise. Suddenly the tenuous link I had on this new life with Joe seemed even more fragile. My scruffy pile of papers immediately became an object to be guarded, protected, something that needed to be locked in a safe where nobody would find it. If anything should happen to it I would lose Joe forever. But I was already losing him, to Laney. It became imperative that I find her and stop her from writing anything more about Joe. I had to get him and Laney together, once she met him she would see that he was real. I’d have to confess everything of course but it had to be done. I was willing to accept the consequences of stealing her character, her ideas, if it meant Joe would be safe.
I carefully scooped up the torn pieces and laid them on top of the rest of the manuscript. Cautiously, I slipped it back into my satchel and took it to the bedroom. I looked around for a safe place to stash it, the tight spot between the wall and the bedside table was the only place I could see that no one would need to go near for any reason. The table hid the satchel from sight but I still felt uneasy. Knowing the power that it held between its thin pages was terrifying and I couldn’t stop myself from pacing up and down the small bedroom, wringing my hands together and gnawing at my bottom lip. I heard Joe come into the room.
“You’re like a caged animal pacing the room, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just the storm making me a bit nervous. We’re so close to the sea.”
“Are you afraid we’ll get swept away?” Joe grinned. I attempted a small smile but it came out more of a grimace. My eyes flicked to the bedside table. Is it safe there? “Don’t worry love, I’d save you. Remember I have super powers.” Joe flexed his biceps at me, flashing me his playful smile.
“Oh really? Well we should be fine as long as there are no sea planes or mud in the ocean then.” I joined in his banter, hoping it would distract me from my nervous pacing.
“What did I do to land myself such a sarcastic and unsympathetic wife?” Joe put his hands on his hips, shaking his head in mock chagrin. “Maybe it’s a test? If I put up with you in this life I get to live in luxury in the afterlife eh?” My face dropped, a look of genuine fear replaced the playfulness.
“Don’t even joke about that. That isn’t funny Joe.” My throat closed in a tight knot at the thought of what could happen to him now that I knew the fragility of the object that anchored him to life. He was by my side in an instant.
“Hey, I’m just playing with you. I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.” Joe rubbed my arms with his hands trying to reassure me.
“Yeah well you shouldn't joke. You never know what’s around the corner.” I said, wracked with guilt that just a moment ago, it had been me that had almost sent him to meet his maker. Worry creased my brow as I began to wonder what would happen to him if the manuscript did get destroyed. Would he die like a normal person and leave behind a physical body or would he just disappear and everything would go back to the way it had been before? Would he go back to being just another fictional character in a book. I shook my head violently trying to rid my head of such morbid thoughts.
“Come here Mrs Ferrantino. Wild horses couldn’t tear me away from you bella. And if the worst happened I’d come back and haunt you. You’ll never be rid of me.” The irony of his words wasn’t lost on me and I cocked an eyebrow at him. He must’ve realised what he’d said because he tried to make light of it with more banter. “And you know I’m already an accomplished spirit.”
“You’re not helping.”
“Yeah, I suppose that subject is a little sore right now huh?”
“A little. I don’t want to go over old ground again right now Joe.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” We both sat down on the bed next to each other. “I know it’s obviously a sore subject Naomi but at some point, we must talk about everything. I need to understand what happened to me and deal with it just as much as you need to deal with your issues. I’m trying so hard to be patient and give you the time you need to heal but…I need that healing time too. I’m getting on with life in the best way that I can, in the only way I know how and that’s to just carry on living. I don’t want to dwell on the past, it’s over but I still need to know what happened. Do you understand that?”
“Yes.” Was all I could manage. God what a selfish bitch! I had been so wrapped up in myself and my fear of losing him that I hadn’t given too much consideration to how he must be feeling. I mean I knew that he’d had questions and that he’d been holding back for my sanity’s sake but all I had concentrated on lately was trying to prove to everyone that I wasn’t crazy. I’d been so hell bent on finding Laney and proving to Joe that I’d been telling the truth; I hadn’t truly taken a minute to contemplate what the truth might do to him.
“I can’t help you like I want to help you because I still have so many unanswered questions.” Joe squeezed my hand.
“I’m sorry.” I uttered weakly. I was desperate to tell him that I could give him all the answers, I could prove all of the claims I had made but at what price? He’d already told me that it hurt his feelings when I had told him he wasn’t real. I had totally missed the point. Joe thought he was real. He believed wholeheartedly that I was his wife and that he’d suffered some sort of accident that had put him in a coma. He believed that he had been able to communicate with me while he’d been in a coma and that now everything was OK, or should be at least if it wasn’t for me and my crazy ramblings. Knowing all of this, he had still put me first and I had allowed it. I realised in that moment that I hadn’t treated Joe as a person, an actual living, breathing person with feelings and concerns of his own. I had treated him like an object, an object that I owned. What right did I have to take his beliefs and his life away from him. If I took him to Laney and proved my story, it would crush him. Everything he thought he knew, everything he believed was real would be taken from him and I would be responsible. I could not break his heart like that. But, I still needed to stop Laney from writing. If I didn’t I’d lose Joe anyway, she was writing him a new story and who knows what would happen. I couldn’t take that risk, could I? What if I just let it happen? Would it be the best thing for Joe, to let him drift back into his own story? He could forget me and…and what? No, that was even worse surely, to let a man feel, live and love and then send him back into oblivion? I couldn’t win either way. If I wanted to keep Joe in my world I needed to play the game, I needed to stop trying to prove myself right and just go with it. I needed to love him not objectify him and accept him as a person in his own right.
Deep down I knew this way of thinking wouldn’t work for too long, there would be problems when Joe needed a doctor or a dentist or if he wanted to learn to drive and could find no evidence of a birth certificate. Even something as mundane as doing our taxes for The Imp would cause problems. Then what? How would I explain all of that? Cross that bridge when you come to it Naomi, I thought. My priority now was to stop Laney Marsh. First thing tomorrow morning I was going to hunt her down and make her listen.
Joe lay back on the bed and pulled me down next to him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders so I could rest my head on his chest. I inhaled deeply. The scent of him was intoxicating and I couldn’t imagine a day when I might not be able to breathe him in. I needed him like a junkie needed drugs. Joe was my fix, he had been since the day I read his name on that stupid piece of paper and fell in love with my ultimate book boyfriend.
I listened to the thud thud of his heart beating against my cheek, trailed my fingers over his stomach in small soft circles and tried to reconcile the fact that whatever Joe had started out as, whatever fucked up magic had transformed him from fiction to fact, he was now a living, breathing human being. I had no true claim on him. I had no right to him, not even when he was merely an idea, a fantasy. All I could do was hope that he loved me, truly loved me and would stay. The dark seed of doubt crept in again to taunt me, how do you know he really loves you Naomi? Aren’t his feelings forced by your own hand? You created this version of Joe, you made him love you. He had no choice.
I swallowed painfully, the fear rising in my throat knowing that the only way to test this theory was to tell him the truth, to take him to Laney and prove to him that he wasn’t real but the truth would crush him. Imagine finding out that everything you thought you knew about yourself and your life was just some crazy quirk of unknown magical circumstance. That by all intents and purposes, you should not exist and nothing about you was real, your life was a lie. Jesus, it was like a real-life version of The Truman Show…except Truman got out.
Without realising it, the tiny circles I’d been tracing on Joe’s abdomen had somehow moved lower and I found my fingers gently rubbing near the waistband on his pyjama bottoms. I noticed Joe’s breathing had become shallower and his chest rose and fell quickly with each breath. The large bulge in his pants twitched as if trying to gain my attention and I immediately felt a thrill of excitement course through me. This was not a contrived reaction, at least I hoped not. Surely sexual attraction was a primal, instinctual reaction to being attracted to someone? He wouldn’t get a raging hard on just because I wrote him like that. Joe had reigned in his usual behaviour in the bedroom these last few weeks and had been sweet and gentle with me that had been his own choice, not mine. Didn’t that prove then that he was under his own influence to some degree?
My fingers glided downwards and over his erection, causing it to jerk upwards again. Joe’s hand squeezed my shoulder as he nuzzled my hair muttering in Italian. His voice, soft and sultry could not be mistaken for anything other than seductive. I knew what he wanted. I pressed my hand more firmly on to the twitching bulge and began rubbing him slowly with my palm. Low moans came from deep in his throat and he cupped my chin with his free hand, lifting my face towards him.
“Baciami.” Joe murmured, his brown eyes gleamed at me from under his long, lush lashes. I at least knew what that meant - Kiss me. Without hesitation, I slid up his body and gently teased his open lips with my tongue before crashing my mouth down on his in a bruising kiss. I needed him to know that I’d had enough of the delicate treatment. I wanted the rough and ready back. I bit down on his bottom lip and sucked it causing Joe’s breath to hitch sharply. His free hand grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged, exposing my neck. I caught the flash of heat in his look before his mouth plundered the delicate skin of my neck. Yes! There he is. I wanted nothing more than for Joe to fling me over and ravage my body but I broke away from the kiss.
“Stay there.” I instructed him. He gave me a quizzical smile but shrugged in agreement.
“What are you up to?”
“Shut up and you’ll find out.”
“Hmm, you know I like it when you’re bossy amore mio.” I went to the chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of black stockings, turning to Joe I ran them suggestively through my hands. I had intended to wear these along with the little lacy black Basque to entice Joe back to his old, dominant bedroom behaviour but now I had another plan. “Are you dressing up for me bella?” The corner of his mouth turned up with the hint of a devilish grin.
“No, you are.” I replied, pursing my lips, my brows raised. A low chuckle erupted from his mouth.
“Well that’s something I haven’t done before.”
“You’re not wearing them silly!” Grasping his meaning, I couldn’t help but giggle. “Put your hands up.” Joe did as I asked, amused curiosity fuelled his compliancy. I wrapped the stockings around his wrists and tied them tightly, pushing his arms above his head to rest on the bed. His top half lay on the bed and his legs dangled over the side with his bare feet on the floor.
“Don’t move.” I told him. I began a seductive strip tease for him, slowly peeling off my clothes one item at a time. A small part of me felt a little self-conscious and I almost giggled a few times, I had never played this role before, letting Joe take charge was how I liked it. But this was about him and I wanted to drive him to the edge my way. Seeing Joe’s expression change from amusement to ardent desire encouraged me. I suddenly felt empowered and explicitly female. Standing there naked under his gaze I was fully aware of my body and the effect it had on Joe. His cock was straining in his pants, a fleeting image of the creature bursting from John Hurt’s stomach in the film Alien flashed in my head and I almost guffawed. I could imagine Joe’s cock ripping through the material of his pants at any moment, screaming to be fucked.
“Do I get to play yet or are you just going to stand there staring at my crotch?”
“You don’t get to do anything. You just have to stay still and shut up. If you move the game ends. Got it?” I moved slowly and deliberately towards him, leaning over him I tugged down his pants allowing his dick to spring free. It jerked and bobbed alluringly, demanding attention. I pushed Joe’s legs apart with my foot and settled myself on my knees between his open thighs. Joe lifted his head to look at me.
“I said don’t move.” I shot him a look of what I hoped was dominance and he lay his head back down but not before I noticed the wanton look that he shot back. Satisfied that he would behave I began his slow torture, starting at his ankles I ran my hands up the inside of his leg changing to butterfly kisses and teasing nips as I neared his groin. His body tensed as my tongue lightly grazed his balls. I continued my tease by positioning my mouth a hairs width away from his dick and allowing the heat from my breath to bathe it in warmth. His dick jerked again banging against my lips and I responded with a swift lick from the base of his shaft to the throbbing tip. Joe’s hips bucked and he grumbled low in his chest. I retreated a little- returning my attentions to the area of skin in his groin, nipping at the little hollow where his thigh ended.
“Merda, donna!” Joe hissed through clenched teeth. His noises only spurred me on to more daring things. Standing up, I climbed onto the bed, turned around and straddled him so his face was inches from my exposed pussy. I felt him shift beneath me and I knew he wanted to taste me.
“You move and it ends.” I was enjoying this, being the more dominant partner wasn’t particularly my thing, I loved nothing more than a man that took charge but the feeling of power I had over Joe and my own femininity was intoxicating. Bringing my man pleasure on my terms turned me on no end. I could see why Joe liked being the dominant one, seeing your lover in a high state of sexual yearning, mercilessly at your hands was the ultimate high.
Bending forward so I was on all fours, my bottom aligned with his face, my head faced his crotch, I hooked my feet over his outstretched arms pinning them to the bed above his head. I moved slowly back and forth above him, trailing my long brown hair over his body and giving him a full view of my rear. I could feel his hot, rapid breaths on my backside and my body began to respond, eager for his touch. I refrained from pushing myself onto his waiting mouth, even though I ached for it. This was all about him and I was going to make damn sure he enjoyed every second.
I took hold of him in my hand and lowered my mouth, teasing his tip with my tongue. I loved the feel of him and he tasted incredible. My lips followed my tongue as I slipped them down over his length until my mouth was full and then slowly pulled away again. I continued this slow tease for a few strokes, revelling in the gasps and moans that he uttered. I switched to pleasuring him with my hand and let my tongue trail further down to stimulate his groin. My tongue reached places I knew had never been touched by anyone but me and that knowledge pleased me immensely. A rush of power surged through my body when Joe began grinding his hips against my mouth, pumping my hand harder and faster until I knew he was on the verge of a climax. I pulled away before he finished and I heard his tortured cry.
“Naomi, please. Don’t stop.”
“Patience baby, patience.”
“Christ, woman!!”
“Shh! You love it. Now be quiet” I straightened, kneeling above his face again. No more than a few centimetres separated my flesh from his lips. I could feel every tantalising hot breath on me and I knew he must feel the heat of me on his mouth. I ground my hips in tiny circular motions above him, showing myself off to him. A plethora of Italian expletives sprang from him, none of which I understood but hearing him speak his native tongue always turned me on. I could feel the desire flow from my centre, readying me for sex. I knew Joe could sense it, the cheeky swine had the gall to stick out his tongue to take a sneaky taste. Damn his mouth felt good.
“Ah ah ah! Bad boy. No touching.”
“Oh Jesus bella, you are killing me!” He growled as I rose up on my knees, out of his reach. “Please Naomi, I need to touch you.”
“Not yet. Now lay still.” I went back on all fours and unceremoniously took him in my mouth in one swift movement. Joe’s hips thrust upwards and he called out in ecstasy. I worked him with my mouth, flicking his tip with my tongue on each upstroke. The salty tang of pre-cum coated my tongue which triggered an immediate heated response between my own legs.
“Fuuuck!” He cried. “Naomi, I’m going to come.”
“Mmm.” I moaned against him, not ceasing my attentions. I felt him tense and his flesh pulsate. The cries of his climax barrelled through his gritted teeth and I relished every sound he made.
When he finally calmed, I withdrew from him, wiping my mouth. Turing to face an exhausted Joe, I untied his hands and flopped down beside him, looping my leg over his. We lay there, no sound other than his panting for a few minutes until Joe suddenly flipped me over on to my back and pinned me beneath him. I felt him begin to harden again and with a wicked glint in his eyes he said.
“My turn.”