Chapter Sixteen
Just A Walk In The Park
A few weeks had passed in relative bliss. Joe and I had opened The Imp again and we were going to work together every day. I was slowly getting used to my new life. I’d spoken to Mum and Immy via Skype. It had been a rather bizarre experience having to pretend that everything was normal and listen to them talk about things like I should know what they were referring to. I’d tried to join in the conversation as best I could without it being obvious that I was totally clueless. I had asked a few nonchalant questions in an attempt to glean information that I could use to make my performance more plausible. But from the odd looks I’d gotten from Immy, my acting skills fell way below par.
The Imp was proving tiring work but so much fun! I’d never enjoyed socialising much and so I’d never made too many friends. The ones I’d made when I was with Iain had been his friends and had remained so after our split. I had a few old ones from my college days that kept in touch and visited now and again. But now, we had a couple of regulars who came into the book bar every day and chatted. I was getting to know my community and making new friends and found that I liked it. Of course, Joe was the big attraction, especially with all the university students. I saw the way they flirted and batted their eyes at him but I wasn’t jealous. Joe being Joe, lapped up the attention and flirted right back but in an open and innocent way, with a laugh and joke. He usually winked and smiled over at me or put his arm around me and kissed my cheek, letting everyone know that he was mine. The older ladies especially loved him, even Mrs Crabtree from our building had taken to popping in at lunchtime for tea and cake and she had hardly ever gone out before. Joe had this uncanny ability to bring out the smile in everyone. Our little book bar business was booming and I was thrilled!
The one thing that spoiled it, was that I knew this picture of happiness couldn’t possibly last. Joe had given me time to get over my little ‘episode’ and he hadn’t mentioned anything further about the accident he was convinced he had been in. It played on my mind constantly, even though I tried to bury it, like a worm it always burrowed its ugly way into my thoughts. He would start asking soon, I knew it. I could see it in his eyes and on his face when he thought I wasn’t looking. He wanted to know what had happened to him and I was going to have to tell him. I just hadn’t banked on doing it so soon.
“Hey bella.” Joe came up behind me and his arms went around my waist, pulling me into him.
“Hey you.” I smiled. “I’m almost finished cleaning the tables. It was busy today wasn’t it! Will you help me bring in the chairs from outside please?”
“Sure baby. I’m all done in the kitchen. I put the last of the dishes away and the pie is in the fridge for morning.” He turned me around to face him and surprised me with a tender, lingering kiss. I felt that familiar tug just below my belly button that happened every time we kissed. When I opened my eyes I expected to see his cheeky smile but instead he looked rather serious.
“Come for a walk in the park with me after closing? We need to talk.”
Oh God. The pleasurable tug in my belly quickly turned to a stab of fear. This was it. This was the day it would all fall apart.
“Uh huh.” Was all I could manage and then thankfully his lips found mine again but not even Joe's kiss could melt away the feeling of dread that washed over me.
I spent the remaining half hour closing The Imp in absolute emotional turmoil. My mind raced. I went over and over what I could possibly say to him that didn’t make me sound like a complete nutcase. I tried to think of how I could stick with the story of him having an accident, but realistically there was no way that would work in the long term. Eventually he’d need a doctor if he fell sick and then he’d find there were no medical records. Or what if one day he decided to track down evidence of his accident and couldn’t find anything. I’d caught him looking at our wedding album earlier this week too. Did he not think it strange that none of his own friends or family were in any of the photographs? It was the first thing I had noticed so surely he must have too? Then again, what if I told him the truth and he believed me? I imagined how that conversation might go. ‘Yes, so what happened was that I completely fell in love with you when I read about you in a book and then something magical happened and POOF! Here you are.’ How would he feel? How would he react? Oh God. He’d probably hate me and think I was a crazy basket case. There was just no way around it. I would just have to be brave and tell him everything. He deserved the truth.
My eyes constantly flicked back and forth to the small clock on the wall. When 5.30pm came Joe switched off the lights and walked me to the door. He said nothing as he turned the key in the lock. The silence was torture. When he finally turned to me he must have seen the nervous expression on my face because he took hold of my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“It’s just a walk in the park bella. Come on, let’s go.”
We walked hand in hand to the small park not far from the little museum around the corner. It was uphill so by the time we arrived I was breathing hard. Unsure if it was caused by the climb or the growing sense of panic in my chest. Joe walked us over to a weather beaten, old wooden bench and pulled me down to sit next to him.
“Joe, I’m sorry. I…”
“Naomi, you know I love you, right?”
We had both spoken at the same time.
“Wait. What?” I didn’t like the sound of that, he’d said it in a ‘you know I love you but’ sort of way.
“You go first bella.”
“No, it’s fine. I think I’d rather let you go first.” I said, thinking that it might be easier to explain everything if I let him lead the discussion. I braced myself for the questions I knew he must be burning to ask and mentally tried to prepare my answers.
“I love you Naomi and because I love you so much. I need to ask you something but just hear me out first OK?”
Oh shit, here we go!
“OK.”
“I think you should go see Dr Blanchard, your therapist, again.”
“Er…what?” That was not what I’d been expecting. “Why?”
“Bella, I know you don’t want to talk about what happened last week but it’s been playing on my mind. I…saw some things…and I’m worried about you love. I think you might be experiencing post-traumatic stress or something like that.”
This conversation was not turning out how I had feared it would. Now I wasn’t sure if I should feel relieved, or worried about why Joe thought I needed therapy.
“What things have you seen? I told you, I’m fine. Really, there’s no need to be worried. I’ve never felt so happy.”
Joe chewed his bottom lip as if unsure how to proceed. He looked away from me for a few seconds and then I really did feel scared. What the hell had he seen?
“I found something. I didn’t mean to read it bella. I was looking for some paper and I knew you had some in your cabinet. I found…”
“My manuscript!” I finished his sentence for him. Relief tinged with anxiety washed over me. That wasn’t so bad was it? I mean it’s just a story and it chronicles my life with Joe, almost like a diary really. Surely reading that wouldn’t lead him to think I was gaga? Maybe it was a good thing he’d already read it, it might help soften the blow when…if… I told him the truth.
“Yes. I know it’s private and I probably shouldn’t have read it.” Joe hung his head. “It caught my eye and I remembered seeing something like it when…when we weren’t together.” He meant when he was having his out of body experiences, or that’s what he thought they were. I still had no idea what the hell had happened or how I’d ended up in my own novel.
I still didn’t understand why my manuscript should be cause for concern. I tried to think back over what I had written that might upset him but I just couldn’t see how it would. It had shocked me when I last looked at it and had seen how our lives together now followed my own plot line and how some things that I hadn’t written, like my family being in New Zealand, had appeared. But everything had turned out great. I was happy. Surely, if Joe had read it, wouldn’t it just look like I had written our story? I hadn’t even finished it. In fact, the moment Joe had arrived in my life, I’d been so distracted by the sheer bizarre turn of events, and I had hardly give it much thought.
“Joe? I don’t think I understand. What has reading my manuscript got to do with why you think I need a therapist?”
“Bella…I love that you have written about us. It’s beautiful that you did that but…”
“But what?”
“Some of the other things that you wrote inside it…they… they don’t really make any sense.”
“Well, now you’re not making any sense.” I said, a little affronted. What the hell did he mean by that?
“Naomi, I’m not trying to upset you. I asked you to hear me out. Please?”
“Fine.” I shrugged and Joe pulled me in for a hug. He kissed the top of my head and spoke into my hair.
“I thought coming to the park, it would be easier to talk because it was neutral ground. I see that was a mistake.”
“Look, Joe. I still don’t understand. Neutral ground? You’re talking like it’s a big thing. It’s just a manuscript. I really don’t see what your problem is?”
“It’s not the things you already wrote…it’s the things you’re writing now. They’re a little disturbing love.”
“But I’m not writing anything! Joe, I really don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” This was getting beyond weird, I needed to go home and have him show me what he meant. “Can we go home? I need to see it.” Joe nodded and pulled me up with him off the bench. He wrapped his arms around me and tucked my head under his chin.
“Io ti amo mia cara.” He whispered softly.
“I know. I love you too. Can we just go?” I couldn’t wait to get home, I knew things had already appeared that hadn’t been written by me and although waking up to find I was married and my Mum had moved away had been a huge shock, I was getting used to it and everything had worked out great. So, I was more than curious to know what sort of ‘disturbing’ things had since materialised that had Joe in such a state of concern for my mental health.
The walk home had been quiet; we hadn’t talked but every now and then Joe had squeezed my hand and given me a sympathetic smile. It had irritated me. I wasn’t cross with Joe but I was agitated, I hated not being in control. I had been prepared to accept all the sudden changes in my life because I had Joe and he was everything I had ever wanted but if something or someone was messing with my situation, I had no idea how I could stop it.
I sat on the sofa while Joe got my manuscript from the cabinet, my foot tapping impatiently on the floor. When he handed me it, he asked if I wanted him to stay.
“Of course I want you to stay, I need you to show me what has upset you.”
“OK.” Joe sat next to me and put his arm around my shoulder protectively. This was unnerving, I looked at the manuscript on my knee and saw nothing different on the title page but it felt different in my hands. I could only describe it as how I imagine psychometry works, the moment I touched it I knew something was different- it felt…infected.
My instinctive reaction was to recoil but my curiosity overcame it. I had been living in a bubble this past few weeks and I had an ominous feeling it was about to burst and my happy little life would disintegrate before my eyes.
“Naomi? Do you want me to open it?” Joe asked.
“No Thanks, I need to do it myself.” I took a big breath in and out and turned through the pages of text one by one. Nothing immediately different jumped out. The first 20k was as I had written it, just with the few unexpected changes that had occurred right after Joe appeared. Mum’s move, my wedding and the birth of Immy’s baby where all there but as I got to the end of my twenty thousand, things began to feel very different. I could sense it, a sickness, an invasion is the only way I could describe it. Agitation rose within me and when I turned a new page, one I knew I had not written, I had to fight for control of my emotions. New pages of text filled my manuscript, page after page of type, none of it mine. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Where had these words come from? I should’ve paid more attention when it started happening after Joe showed up but I’d been so swept up in the sheer magic of having Joe in my life, I’d done my usual trick and stuck my head in the sand. My manuscript had taken on a life of its own. I read through one of the new passages,
‘Melissa waited outside the bar for closing. She couldn’t wait to see him again, it’d been months since her last trip to Florence and now she was here, waiting for Joe. She watched as the lights went out inside The Magnificent Medici and Joe stepped out of the front entrance, locking it behind him.
“Ciao Joe.” I said, stepping out from the shadows. He turned towards my voice and a broad smile of recognition appeared on his face.
“Melissa? Is that you? Ciao bella! I missed you! And your beautiful smile. What are you doing here?” Joe opened his arms wide and I ran to him, the moment I reached him, he wrapped me in a hug so tight and sincere it took my breath away. God, I had missed him. I was here to stay this time and the first person I wanted to tell was Joe.’
This was not my story. This was Laney’s.