Chapter Twenty-Five
Choices
“What?” I wasn’t sure I had heard her correctly, “Did you just say,”
“I am Melissa,” Laney interrupted, “yes.” She had regained some of her former decorum but I could sense she was still shaken underneath.
“How is that possible? Did you write the book about yourself?” I felt my stomach curdle, fighting the need to retch in disgust I continued to probe her, “But you said that was forbidden! And now you’ve used him to trap me? How could you do that? That’s disgusting!” I glared at Laney with absolute disdain, the thought that she could use Joe, a man she created and probably loved at one time, to entrap someone else was abhorrent to me. I could never do something like that.
“It’s not what you think Naomi.”
“Well then how is it? Because from where I’m standing that’s exactly how it looks.” I shot her a challenging stare, demanding she explain herself. Admittedly a large part of the anger I felt towards her was born of jealousy, I had thought Joe was mine, my creation, mine to love. I had believed I was the only woman he had ever loved and yet now I found out he had been hers first. I swallowed the bile that arose in my throat. Laney let out a long, tired sigh. The Librarian patted her on the shoulder comfortingly and I wanted to slap her hand away. Laney Marsh deserved no such sympathy.
“Remember I told you I had faced my own test before I was chosen to become an Author?”
“Joe? Joe was your test too?” My fists were still balled and I dug my nails into my palms, trying desperately to detract from the pain in my heart. Laney nodded,
“I was sent that very same manuscript over fifty years ago, it’s been altered a little since then to fit the time but the essence of it is the same.” She said rather sadly. A stunned silence fell between us as I tried to process what she was saying. All I could think about was that Laney had been in love with Joe, my Joe at some point in the distant past. She has kissed him, touched him and done lord knows what with him…and even more sickening was the realisation that Joe had reciprocated. I felt the floor move beneath me and the room sway, I was going to fall. Soft, steady hands caught me and guided me back to a sitting position in the large leather chesterfield. The Librarian now stood beside me, a look of genuine concern on her face.
“He…he remembers you,” I said shakily, “he told me he remembers Melissa. Does that mean he still,” the next word stuck fast in my throat but I forced it out, “loves you?”
“I doubt it very much, it’s just a ghost of a memory from the past, a past that’s not even real.” I detected a hint of uncertainty in her tone that set my teeth on edge.
“Just how many times has that manuscript been used?” I said through tight lips.
“I was the second I believe,” Laney replied, she coughed to clear her throat before continuing, “As the novel became more popular in society, it became easier to discover more potential candidates. There are people whose task it is to create ways of finding suitable candidates, one of those tasks, amongst many others, is writing manuscripts similar to this one to send out to,”
“Lure people in!” I spat. “You’re playing with people’s lives here, do you know that? Do you care?”
“It’s not our job to care Naomi, if we let ourselves care then we begin to take pity on the people whose lives we're trying to protect.”
“Protect! That’s a fucking joke. How are you protecting the homeless man who dies alone on a street? Or the child that dies in a car accident?”
“We can’t protect individuals per say, you must understand that there is a balance to maintain, everything happens for a reason just the way it is supposed to protect that balance. If we started to care we would be driven to change the fate of anyone we felt pity for and that has massive consequences Naomi. You’ve only seen a tiny glimpse of the effects that the ripples of change can cause. We had to do things this way because you needed to see, to understand how it must be. You cannot change fate, if you do then you must live with the consequences.” Laney sat stiff backed and had regained her composure somewhat, that air of authority was back and a look of carefully contrived calmness spread across her face. I wanted to punch her.
“You turned him down didn’t you.” It was a statement not a question and I felt a twinge of gleeful gloating at the knowledge that I was right, I could see it in her eyes. Laney hadn’t loved Joe enough to make sacrifices, she’d chosen the life of an Author over him. Well I wasn’t going to make that mistake. That nagging little voice in the back of my mind attempted to remind me of the potential consequences of my choice, it tried to tell me I was being selfish but I ignored it…for now.
“I did, yes. I understood the responsibilities I had been given and chose to do the right thing.” Sanctimonious bitch! Oh she really had got on her high horse with me now.
“The right thing for who? For you? For Joe? Where does he fit into your perfect little plans?”
“The right thing for the universe Naomi, balance must be restored and maintained at all costs. I have already told you, you can choose not to follow this path and stay with Joe but in doing so the universe will fight to regain control. Can you live with what might happen because of it?”
“Yes. I can.” I jutted out my chin in stubborn protest. The universe could fight all it bloody well liked but I would fight back with every ounce of strength in my body to keep Joe by my side. If that’s what he wants. The knot of fear pulled at me again, what if he didn’t?
“Very well then, if that is what you choose then bring Joe to me tomorrow and we shall see if he feels the same way. Those are the rules Naomi, you both must choose the same path. Like it or not you have been selected and only two choices lay before you now, I pray for everyone’s sake you choose well…as I once did.” Laney Marsh rose from her chair, nodded her head once in my direction and dismissed me, “Good day Mrs Ferrantino.” Her tone of dismissal wasn’t lost on me, I sensed a tinge of jealousy in the way she had spoken my name. There was no doubt in my mind that part of her stupid rule of having to bring Joe to her was merely so she could see him again.
The Librarian shifted slightly, bringing my attention back to her.
“We shall see you both tomorrow then?” She asked very politely.
“Do I have any choice?”
She smiled sympathetically at me and that gave me my answer. I walked toward the library’s exit and out into the hallway without waiting for the Librarian to escort me although I could hear her scurrying behind me. When we reached the front door she scooted in front to open it, I walked out without a backward glance, flinching as the heavy oak door shut hard in my wake. Now I had the hard task of convincing Joe to come and meet Laney. No, convincing him to meet her wasn’t the hard part, it was everything that followed.