GETTING SHOT SUCKED, and as I lay in my bed at the ranch, I decided I never wanted to experience it again. Arianna clasped my fingers, her expression worried. I threw on a smile for her so she wouldn’t stress over me. I was fine. The bullet was gone, and my leg was stitched up. My small wounds were even still numb from the anesthetic my grandmother had used. An anesthetic I was pretty sure my family had obtained in less than conventional methods. A perk of having a compulsion-wielding pureblood in the nest.
“How do you feel, Julian?” Arianna whispered, brushing some hair off my forehead.
Her touch felt wonderful. My head buzzed, and my brain itched a bit, but I was pretty sure that was just the bond returning to me. Either that, or I was having a really strange reaction to the drugs I’d been given. Ignoring the prickling, I focused on my sister’s stress pushing in around me. She was back in Flagstaff searching for Hunter, and by the feel of things, the scouting mission wasn’t going well. I compressed my lips, which made Arianna’s frown deepen. Shaking my head, I told her, “I feel fine. It’s Nika who’s losing it. She’s worried about Hunter…”
Arianna looked even more concerned over my pronouncement. I think it still wigged her out that Nika and I were empathically linked. “Oh…”
Her gaze drifted to our interlaced fingers. A tension grew between us, filling the air with apprehension. I could almost hear the words We need to talk vibrating in the silence. I really didn’t want to hear anything she might have to say, and I suddenly wished my grandparents were still in the room. But Alanna and Grandma Linda had left after I was all patched up. They were downstairs with Grandpa Jack, discussing the situation with Hunter. They weren’t sure what to do about him either.
Arianna cleared her throat, and I tensed. Wanting to distract her from what I was afraid she was going to say—that being with me was too much for her—I sputtered, “It was nice falling asleep with you last night.”
I stroked her thumb as I said it, reminding her that while that moment had been laced with fear and aggravation, it had also been full of comfort. Once Hunter had left us alone in a house we couldn’t leave, Arianna had wanted out of the dungeon-like basement. Since Hunter hadn’t forbidden us from leaving the room, I’d taken her upstairs. My stubborn sister had stayed behind to wait for Hunter to return. Looking back on it now, I probably should have dragged her ass with us, but I’d wanted to be alone with Arianna.
Waking up with my arms still draped over Arianna’s body had been just as amazing. We hadn’t done anything the night before, but somehow just sharing the intimacy of resting together had brought us closer. We’d had a quiet brunch with the old man, who’d seem completely unfazed that we were squatting in his house, then we’d tinkered throughout the home, looking for things to do until the sun went down. That was when we’d spotted the hunters outside with large gas cans. I’d never had a surge of adrenaline quite like that as I’d watched a trap being set. But still, I hadn’t panicked, hadn’t had an “episode.” I’d known that Arianna, Nika, and I needed to leave, but before we could do that, Hunter had to release his hold on my girlfriend. So, I’d done what was necessary to make that happen. Even though the entire event had been scary as hell, I was proud of myself for not falling apart. Maybe I could be the hero my dad was after all.
Arianna’s voice in my bedroom pushed away the fragments of my memories. “Is life with you always going to be this…crazy?” she asked, her voice hitching.
I clenched her hand tighter, wishing I could just lie and tell her no. “I don’t know, Arianna. Maybe. In spurts.” Since Halina wasn’t anywhere close enough to hear her answer, I asked, “Is it too much for you?”
My heart thudded as I waited for her response. It felt like it took forever in coming. Lifting her shimmering hazel eyes to mine, she shrugged. “This is a lot more dangerous than I’d anticipated, but maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, considering how we got together. I just thought…” she bit her lip as she mulled over her answer, “when you first told me what you were, I didn’t really think about what that might mean. I just liked you so much, and wanted to be with you…I think I allowed myself to overlook a few things.” She shook her head as a shimmering teardrop fell onto her cheek. “I’m only sixteen, Julian, and I’ve already been shot at twice now because of your family. Then there’s Raquel being attacked, this weird bond with your sister, your grandmother wanting me to get pregnant, Nika’s boyfriend threatening to take every memory away from me. It’s just…a lot to take.”
She hung her head, like she was filled with guilt for admitting that to me. I didn’t blame her for her feelings. It would be a lot for me, too, if I were in her shoes. Lifting her chin, I made her look at me again. Her eyes danced everywhere, looking at anything but me. “Hey, look at me, Arianna.”
She closed her eyes as a deep sigh left her body. Opening them again, she stared at my face like she was seeing all the way into my soul. My mouth felt dry, and my leg ached. I didn’t think it was because of my wounds, though. It was the question I was about to ask her. A part of me didn’t want to ask, but I needed to know. “Do you still want to be with me?”
She opened her mouth to answer my question, but no words came out. The only answer I got was more tears spilling down her cheeks. I didn’t take that as a good sign. Sitting up with a grunt, I cupped her cheek, wiping away her tears with my thumb. A desperate panic ran through me, and I did the only thing I could think to do. I pressed my mouth to hers, needing to physically show her how much I cared about her.
A sob escaped her, and I tasted salty tears on her lips. It sent of jolt of pain through my heart. My fear of losing her now matched Nika’s fear of losing Hunter. Yet again, we were feeling the exact same thing. Even through my own pain, a spark of worry for Nika flashed through my brain.
“Don’t do this, Arianna,” I whispered through our anxious kisses. “Don’t give up on us.”
She whimpered under my administrations, her lips frantic against mine. Then, with pain clear in her voice, she croaked, “I’m not. I’m not, Julian.”
Relief poured into my kiss as I slipped my tongue into her mouth. She groaned in a way that made me delirious with delight. She wasn’t leaving me. Not yet. Just as I was about to lean her back on the bed and show her what I couldn’t show her last night, my bedroom door swung wide open, banging against the far wall.
Arianna squeaked in surprise while I jumped about a foot in the air. My heart racing like I’d run a marathon, I snapped my head around in time to see Gabriel storming into the room. Face stern, he swiftly said, “The two of you need to come with me.”
Concern pricked my stomach. Halina had asked him to leave, and I was pretty sure she hadn’t meant for him to leave with my girlfriend and me. “What? Why?”
Gabriel shook his head and motioned with his hand for us to follow him. “There isn’t time to explain. We need to get you both downstairs. To safety.”
Electricity zinged up my spine. Safety? Arianna hopped off the bed while I got up a bit more gingerly. Alanna had stripped off my jeans, which was a little mortifying with Arianna in the room, then she’d made me put on some sweats once I was all bandaged up. I was only in my socks though, so I slipped on my shoes when I was sitting on the edge of the bed.
Gabriel glanced from me to the door and back again, clearly not liking how long this was taking. Frowning, he called over his shoulder, “Starla. Jacen. Get these two down to the lowest level. I’m going to check the perimeter.”
He was gone in a flash. While I went from a sitting to a standing position, my pseudo-mother and her boyfriend appeared. Arianna’s confused face matched mine. “What’s going on, Julian?” she asked.
Since I had no idea, I redirected the question to the two adults in the room. “What is it, Starla?”
Her brow pinched together, creating deep lines that were surely going to give her wrinkles, something she usually avoided. She blurred to my side, scooping me into her arms. “The ranch is under attack,” she whispered, with no trace of her usual snarky attitude.
My jaw dropped as I glanced at Jacen picking up Arianna. “What?” I had to have heard her wrong.
Starla’s eyes were wide with fear. Seeing it on her spiked my feelings of trepidation. Jacen spoke in his matter-of-fact way, but even his voice was laced with tension. “Hunters are here. At least a dozen…maybe more.”
Arianna started breathing faster. I did too. No. This couldn’t be happening. I had no idea what to do or say. But there wasn’t time for words anyway. I clung to Starla as she blurred us away, to the relative safety of the lower floors. Were they safe enough though?
Right as we entered the living room, three of the spacious windows shattered, and we were flecked with debris. Out of shock and the desire to avoid being hit by stray shrapnel, Starla and Jacen dropped behind the couch for shelter. Arianna screamed and held onto Jacen so tight her fingers were bone white. Fear sliced through my body as I separated myself from Starla; I was sore, but I could make it the short distance on my own. I could hear other windows breaking throughout the house as our home was penetrated, and I couldn’t stop the odd thought that this was going to be a bitch to clean up. Assuming any of us lived, of course.
From our vantage point, we could see the bookcase that covered the entrance to the hidden rooms below the earth. It was swinging open. Ben appeared from the recess, and frantically motioned at us to hurry.
We sped through the opening, and Ben closed the secret door. Aside from a tiny, barely-used lock, there was no real way to brace the door. The home just hadn’t been built with defending a siege in mind. Ben used his body instead, telling Jacen, “Go! Get them downstairs with the others!”
Jacen was still holding Arianna and immediately blurred away with her. Starla and I followed. We didn’t stop until we got to Halina’s bedroom; aside from Gabriel and Ben, everyone else was already there, waiting—Alanna, Grandma Linda, Grandpa Jack, Olivia, and Tracey. Jacen set Arianna down while I rubbed my aching leg. Grandma Linda immediately tossed her arms around my neck. Olivia attached herself to my waist, burying her head in my stomach like she was hiding; I stumbled a bit.
While Olivia screeched my name, Grandma Linda cooed, “Oh, thank God, Julian, Arianna. I was so worried.” Pulling back, she bobbed her head to Starla and Jacen. “Thank you, both.”
Jacen gave her a curt nod, then turned to face Starla. His face businesslike, he told her, “Leave all of the doors open. I don’t want you soundproofed and unable to hear what’s going on. I’m going to wait for them in the hallway with Ben. That’s where they’ll most likely attempt to enter from.”
Tracey groaned as she ran her hands through her hair in a nervous, repetitive fashion. Olivia tightened her grip on me so hard, I cringed. Starla grabbed Jacen’s elbow as he started to leave. When he swung his head around to her, she grabbed his face and kissed him, hard. When she came up for air, she fervently intoned, “Do not die on me, understand?”
Breathless, Jacen nodded. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”
He gave her one last kiss, then streaked away. Starla swallowed about five times in a row as she looked around the room. Alanna put her hand on her shoulder, but didn’t offer her any comforting words. Somehow, that filled me with more dread than anything else had.
After peeling Olivia off me and passing her over to her very pale mother, I balanced my weight on my uninjured leg and put a comforting arm around a trembling Arianna. Alanna straightened her shoulders and took a protective stance in front of all of us. The seemingly youthful woman probably looked like an unlikely bodyguard, but I knew how tough she really was. Her long black hair streamed down her back, as she rolled up the sleeves of her plaid, button-up shirt. She did the same thing when she was about to make dinner…or when she bled the cows.
Glancing back at her husband, Alanna murmured, “I’m glad Teren and the others aren’t here. I’m glad they’re safe.” Her pale eyes flicked to Grandma Linda, Tracey, Olivia, Arianna, and me, and I knew she wished we were away from the ranch with Dad.
While we waited for something to happen, Tracey repeatedly murmured, “I can’t believe this is happening.” Looking up at me, Arianna’s hazel eyes seemed to be saying the same thing. While I rubbed Arianna’s arm and tried to be comforting, I felt Nika’s concern skyrocketing. Were her feelings because of me? Did she know what was going on, or was she feeding off my fear? It was so frustrating at times to not know the reason behind the feelings.
There was a crash from upstairs, and I just about jumped out of my skin. It was followed by men cursing, groaning, growling, someone crying out in pain. I had no idea if that was Jacen. Anxiety twisted my stomach. Starla rushed forward, but stopped when Alanna held out her arm. “Jacen and Benjamin can take care of themselves. We need to protect them,” Alanna whispered, glancing back at the group of humans huddled in the center of the room.
Starla’s eyes watered, but she nodded and stayed with us.
The sound of snarling and fighting drifted toward us from upstairs. I knew Ben had experience fighting vampires with Dad, and I knew Jacen had experience fighting as a part of Gabriel’s guard duty in his old nest, but I didn’t know if they could take on multiple hunters. All they had to do was keep them out of the hallway, though. I supposed that was easier than a full-fledged assault.
While Tracey, clearly scared as hell, clutched at her daughter, Olivia mainly just looked confused. “Mom, what’s going on? Why are we hiding down here? Are men really attacking the house? Shouldn’t we be calling the cops?”
She asked several more questions until Starla finally rounded on her. “Would you shut up! We need to be able to hear what’s going on!” Olivia furrowed her brow, and I realized her human ears couldn’t hear what my family’s sensitive ears could. She really couldn’t tell what was going on, and she was the only one who had no idea she was in a house full of vampires, and that a group of zealous hunters were trying to exterminate them. I wasn’t sure if her ignorance was a blessing, or a curse.
Suddenly, there was growling and shouting from a different section of the house, much farther away than the living room hallway. Starla’s face brightened as she turned her head toward the sound. “Father,” she murmured.
I knew she meant Gabriel, and a bit of hope seeped into me. Gabriel was ancient, strong. It still wasn’t nearly a fair fight, but he’d definitely help even the odds.
I wasn’t sure how long our fighters fended them off; it felt like an eternity passed while I waited with the others. I was sweating bullets, which immediately cooled against my skin, leaving me chilled. I was sure each bang and crash I heard was the end of Gabriel, Ben, and Jacen. Starla was sure, too. She was rigid with tension. Tracey looked scared but indifferent. Maybe her ears being less acute was a good thing.
Everything was peaceful where we were for quite a while, but eventually, we heard a scuffle in the hallway directly above us, and heard Ben let out a loud curse. Footsteps pounded down the hall, then Jacen called out, “Starla! They’re coming!”
He’d said it loud enough for all of us to hear, even the humans. Arianna started hyperventilating. I squeezed her hand tightly, told her it was okay, then pushed her behind me. If we were about to get in a fight, I wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. Grandpa Jack pushed Grandma Linda, Tracey, and Olivia behind him while Alanna and Starla blocked us all. I wanted to blur up to the front of the line with Alanna and Starla, but I knew I wasn’t cut out for fighting vampire hunters with my bum leg.
As the sound of running feet grew louder, Tracey looked around at all of us; her fear was so evident it wafted around the room like perfume. “What do we do?” she asked.
In answer, Alanna twisted to face Grandpa. Her expression was bleak and stoic at the same time. “Take them outside, Jack. Run as far as you can. Starla and I will hold them off.”
Grandpa’s mouth opened as he stared at Alanna in disbelief. “I’m not leaving you.”
Turning to face him, Alanna gave him a hug filled with passion. “You have to, my love.” Running a hand through his silver hair, she whispered, “We talked about this moment coming one day, and you know this is the way it has to be. We decided that together. Please, get our family to safety.”
Grandpa’s aged eyes watered as he stared at his wife. “Alanna…”
She gave him a swift kiss. “I love you. Please go.”
I wanted to give Alanna and Starla a hug, beg them to change their minds and come with us, but the pounding feet were dangerously close now. There was no time for goodbyes. It broke my heart to leave them, but protecting the rest of the family was Grandpa’s and my responsibility now, and I wasn’t about to fail my job. Corralling Arianna and Olivia, I hobbled after Grandpa as he hurried Grandma Linda and Tracey to the back of Halina’s massive walk-in closet.
Grandpa pressed against what looked like a solid piece of dark cherry wood behind a rack of Halina’s dresses. It slid back to reveal a hidden pocket door with a smooth stone hallway leading into pitch-black darkness.
“It’s like the entrance to Narnia,” Olivia muttered as Grandpa moved her into the hallway.
Tightly holding Arianna’s hand, I followed her. “It just leads back outside. If all the…burglars…are in the house, then no one will notice us leaving.” I looked behind me. “Right, Grandpa?”
“That’s the plan.” Grandpa closed the closet door once we were all inside the tunnel. The door sealed tightly shut, blocking out the weak light coming from the house. Since these deep underground entrances were just for the vampire’s convenience, there was no external light source, and we were blinded by blackness. I waited for a familiar panic attack to drop me to my knees as the emptiness compressed around me. It didn’t come, though; I had too great a burden placed on my shoulders right now to cave into that childhood fear.
Sounds of a scuffle filtered through the door. The hunters who’d made it past Jacen and Ben had already found Alanna and Starla. Whispering, “Go, go, go!” I pushed on whoever was in front of me as I dragged Arianna behind me.
Olivia whimpered as we dashed up the hallway. “I don’t like this, Mom. Why isn’t Dad with us?”
Tracey, maybe realizing just how serious this was, told her daughter, “I know, honey, I don’t like this either, but we’ll be out soon, and Daddy will join us. I know he will.”
I strained my ears, listening for any sounds of pursuit, but I didn’t hear anything that led me to believe we were being followed. The floor of the escape tunnel had a steep incline to it as it reached for the surface. My heart was beating harder, my breath was faster, and my leg felt like it was on fire. The humans around me, especially the older humans, were struggling just as much as I was. Grandma Linda sounded pained, but she carried on without complaint.
Just when I thought we’d never get out of this hallway, I saw a crack in the darkness, a slim section of blackness that wasn’t quite as black as everything else. A weary exhale of relief left me. Thank God. Now, hopefully nobody was around when we burst out of here.
When the bodies in front of me came to a stop, I paused with them, tenderly rubbing my leg. The ground had leveled now that we were at the surface. I knew from experience that this exit opened at the back of a large wood shed. My nose told me that, too, as the smell of dry cedar logs stung my senses. Grandpa’s voice drifted back to me, along with the sound of a door jiggling. “It’s locked on the other side. Julian? Can you break this?”
Olivia snorted in surprise. “Julian? He’s barely bigger than I am…”
I ignored her unintentional insult as I weaved through the crowd toward Grandpa’s voice. “Yeah, hold on.”
The light was a little better at this end of the tunnel, and I could just make out Grandpa’s shape. When I got to where he was standing, I put my hands on the wooden sheets of plywood barring our escape. From the other side, they just looked like the building’s walls. A high stack of wood in front of them blocked the iron bar with a padlock. The door was locked on the other side to keep curious possible intruders out of the house; the tunnel was used more as an entrance, than an exit. It wouldn’t keep me in, though.
Holding up a hand behind me, I tossed over my shoulder, “Stand back.”
I heard shuffling as my family did as I asked. Inhaling a deep breath, I drew strength from the vampiric heritage inside me. Just like I could handle being in this cold, dark place, I could do this. With every ounce of supernatural force I possessed, I thrust my shoulder into the door. The iron bent, then pulled away from its hinges, and the wooden doors broke apart under the pressure.
I stumbled through the remains of the doorframe, crashing into the stacked pile of wood that was a couple of feet in front of the concealed door. I accidentally pushed a section of the cut logs forward, knocking them onto the floor of the wood shed with a resounding crash. Cursing, I froze. I felt like my heart was going to break through my ribcage. I could almost hear my sister reprimanding me—Way to be stealthy, Julie.
As my family inched their way through the door, I heard someone to my right say, “What was that?”
Another voice answered, “I don’t know. We’d better check it out.”
I rolled my eyes as I righted myself. Seeking out my grandfather, I told him, “Someone heard that. They’re coming.”
Face grim, he nodded as he indicated the slight break in the logs that led through the rows and to the exit. As quickly as our motley crew could go, we left the confines of the wood shed.
When we got into the open air, Olivia turned to me, wide-eyed. “You’re the strongest man I’ve ever met.”
She gave me a lovesick smile, and I turned her around. “We have to go!”
From over my shoulder, I heard someone say, “There!” and then a gun went off.
Everyone flinched, then started running. My leg ached so much I thought I might topple over, but I ran with them as another shot echoed in the night. We were all silent as we ran, but I could hear how difficult it was for the weaker people in our group to keep up. They wouldn’t stand a chance against those hunters once they caught up to us. And they would catch up; we were going far too slowly. It took me less than a second to know what I had to do.
Yelling up to my grandfather in the lead, I said, “Grandpa, get them to safety!”
He looked back at me, pain in his eyes, but he knew, just like I did, that I was the only one left who could fight back. I started to turn around, to go back the other way, but Arianna grabbed my forearm. “No! You’re coming with us!”
Another shot rang in the air. I heard the bullet hit a tree just a few yards to my left. Grabbing Arianna’s face, I gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll meet you there. I love you.” I didn’t give her another chance to try and stop me. I didn’t have time. Wrestling my arm back, I blurred away, toward the danger everyone else was running from.
I swung wide of the pair of men crashing through the brush after my girlfriend and my family. Turning around, I came up behind them. Hopefully, with the element of surprise, I could get the drop on them. Zipping back to the woodshed, I grabbed a heavy, durable log. Hoping I had the courage to inflict harm on another person, I charged the one closest to me. Moving blindingly fast, I smacked him across the back of the head with the log. He went down with a thud, and I twisted to his partner. The guy saw me, though, and swiveled his gun and fired before I could attack him. I instinctively ducked, and the man kicked me, hitting me just under the chin.
My vision hazed as I fell onto my back. I’d never been kicked like that before. I swore my jaw was broken and my teeth were cracked. My ears rang, and I saw everything in triplicate. I knew I didn’t have time to dwell on the pain vibrating through my skull. I didn’t have time to fixate on any of the myriad sensations percolating throughout my body. Nika, my family, the noises coming from the house, all of it was lost on me as I watched my attacker shove his gun into his pocket and pull out a thick, wooden stake. Wow, I was about to get staked, just like in some lame vampire flick.
The man was no bigger than me, but when he sank to his knees, straddling my body, I suddenly felt powerless. That wasn’t true, though, so I forced my mind to fight through the fear paralyzing my body. It was a bit alarming when I realized my breathing was heavy, my body was shaking. It had been an eternity since I’d had a panic attack. Calming my body, I brought my hands up to block the stake barreling toward my chest. I stopped the weapon an inch before my rib cage.
My attacker didn’t say anything; he just tried a different tactic. Leaning down, he head-butted me. I’d never experienced that before either. I saw stars as blackness choked my sight. My limp hands fell to my sides, leaving my chest exposed. I knew I needed to move, but I just couldn’t get my body to cooperate.
Hoping I’d at least given my family enough time to escape, I made one last attempt to get my body to do what I wanted it to do. My arms felt like lead as I lifted them, and I felt like I was shoving them through tar as I reached out for the man’s chest. Since he was moving forward to shove a sharp stick through my heart, his body met my hands more than the other way around. Wanting him away, I pushed against him with everything I had left.
Surprisingly, he flew off me. I cracked open my eyes, disbelieving my own strength. A growl filled the air as I watched my assailant soaring through the night sky. He struck a nearby tree with a sickening thump. He didn’t get back up after he fell to the ground.
“Julian, are you okay?”
Cold hands felt my forehead as familiar glowing brown eyes examined my injured face. “Mom?”
I could feel her location pinging in my head as she knelt beside me. I could feel everyone’s. The bond had crackled into life some time ago, but I’d been too preoccupied to really pay attention to it. I could sense Nika, Hunter, and my father several hundred miles away, and Halina was rushing into the house to help with the rest of the intruders. I relaxed in my mom’s arms as her cooling fingertips soothed my injuries. Even though we were still in the middle of the battle, I felt safe.
“Did Grandpa and the others get away?” I murmured, feeling sleepy.
“Yes, sweetheart,” she cooed, kissing my forehead. “Mom is taking them to Peter’s, getting them away from the property. You saved them,” she added, pride in her voice.
She helped me to my feet. I felt wobbly, like I was going to fall again, and I clung to her for support. “I didn’t do that much,” I muttered, wishing my head would stop throbbing.
“You helped them get away, and now I’m going to help you get away.” Her voice was fast and low, still laced with tension. This fight wasn’t over.
Mom scooped me into her arms while I listened to snarls and growls echoing from inside the house. I hoped every member of my family was safe. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing any of them. Just as Mom turned to dash away with me, an emptiness greater than anything I’d ever felt seared my soul. I gasped and clutched at my chest. It felt like a chunk of me had been ripped away. It hurt more than being staked. Mom paused, looking down on me with worried eyes. “Julian, what is it?”
I couldn’t breathe for a second while I tried to understand just what I was feeling. There was a nothingness in my body where something warm and loving used to be. I felt shallow, scooped out, void. The hollowness brought tears to my eyes. I couldn’t wrap my head around my growing despair. Why was I feeling this way? Was it Nika’s emotions that were getting to me? They shouldn’t be affecting me this strongly, considering our distance. I tuned in to her, paying more attention to the blip on my heart that was her. That was when I understood.
Eyes wide, I looked up at my mom. “I can’t feel her. She’s gone. She’s just…gone.”
Mom was confused for a second, then she gasped as she understood. “You can’t feel Nika’s emotions? Why? Why would they just disappear?”
She looked over her shoulder, to where we could both feel Nika’s presence. That bond was still there, still pinging her location. Our emotional bond was different though. Gabriel’s shot, and the shot I’d been given as a child, had proven that the two bonds were independent of each other. I didn’t want to say it. I didn’t want to think it. But only one answer rang through my head. If I wasn’t picking up on her feelings anymore, it was because she wasn’t having them. And if she wasn’t having them…then she was dead. I just knew it.