MY LIFE WAS completely different, and yet, it was completely the same. I was still the hopeful, romantic girl who loved her family more than anything. I was just also undead and completely reliant upon blood to survive. But I was happy. I’d saved Hunter, and he’d saved me. And we now shared something so deep and meaningful, it nearly brought me to tears just thinking about it. I loved him, with every section of my unbeating heart, and I knew he loved me, too, just as much. That kind of unshakable devotion was comforting. It brightened all the potential dark spots. Like the downside to becoming a full vampire. And there were quite a few of those.
I wasn’t thrilled that the sun was now off-limits to me. I’d enjoyed sunbathing, watching the rays sparkle off the water wall at the library, going to school with my friends. But all those things were impossible for me now. I was confined to darkness, just like Halina, just like Hunter. At least I wasn’t alone.
The loss of the sun, along with the loss of food, being able to touch silver, ever physically aging past sixteen, and the chance of having children one day weren’t what I missed the most, though. Not yet. No, what bothered me more than anything was no longer being able to feel what Julian felt. I hadn’t been prepared for how much I’d miss that connection. There was a part of me that was empty inside, like it had been plucked out. I knew Julian felt the same hollowness inside him, but only because he’d told me. He hadn’t told me everything he was going through, though. For the first time ever, Julian could keep things from me, and I didn’t like it.
I saw his sullenness, the physical effect of some inner turmoil, but I didn’t know the cause, didn’t know the level of his pain. It was unnerving not to know. It put me on edge. All I could do was surmise what was wrong with him, and I hated having to rely on guessing. But he wouldn’t talk to me about it, so what else could I do?
Sitting beside me, as he often was, Hunter rubbed my thigh. His hand was pleasantly comfortable, now that we were the same temperature. “You okay?”
He asked me that constantly, like he was sure that any minute now I was going to go into hysterics over what he’d done to me. But what he’d done was save my life, and I wasn’t about to complain about being alive. “I’m fine. Just worried about Julian.”
Hunter nodded, his nearly black eyes pensive but unsurprised. Me being concerned over my brother was nothing new. I’d only been a full vampire for a few days, but in those days, Julian had been my main focal point of distress. He was asleep at the moment, only separated from me by our mutual bathroom. It might as well have been an entire country, though, with how distant I felt from him.
“He’s fine,” Hunter told me. This also wasn’t new. He often told me I had nothing to worry about concerning Julian, that we had much more pressing problems. And I supposed we did. Where we were going to live for one thing.
Ever since my conversion, Hunter had become my world. I was drawn to him as surely as a flower turned its petals toward the sun. If we were separated, even by just a few hundred feet, it felt like someone was pulling on a piece of me. It made my entire body ache. When he started to approach me, it had the opposite effect. I felt warmth in every cell, every muscle. Desire rushed through me like a tidal wave, nearly knocking me senseless. Hunter felt the same energy pulsing through him, and our unions were usually very explosive. It was more than a little embarrassing.
My father was being put through the wringer. He watched me close when Hunter was away, waiting for signs that the erotic bond was kicking in. He also watched me close when Hunter was nearby. It was a lose-lose for him. Hunter and I were going to be together, and there wasn’t much Dad could do about it. He still tried, though. Every time the bond rushed Hunter and I together, Dad was there to pull our writhing bodies apart. We hadn’t had a chance to consummate our vampiric bond yet, but we’d come very close.
Dad wouldn’t let Hunter stay here in the city with us during the day, which meant Hunter had to run back to the ranch before every sunrise. He didn’t like to part with me—our goodbyes usually took hours—and I was a little afraid that one day Hunter wouldn’t make it back to the ranch before the sun rose. I wanted him to stay here at the house because of that. And to keep the fiery part of our bond under control. We were naturally attracted to each other, but the intenseness leapt a hundred notches higher when we were forced to separate and reunite. Dad groaned after every sunset, when he watched me nearly panting with desire because Hunter was running to me. Like I said, embarrassing.
Dad refused to let him stay here, though. He just kept saying that I was sixteen, and too young to live with a boy. He wouldn’t let me stay at the ranch either. He seemed to think Halina and the others wouldn’t mind Hunter and I together as a couple as much as he did, and he was right about that. None of them had Dad’s level of aversion to the two of us having sex. They knew we were both head over heels in love, and that was enough for them. Dad just wasn’t ready to give up his little girl yet. Even if her heart had stopped beating.
It was easiest on our bond if Hunter and I remained together. It kept our desires in check, although, every part of me still burned to kiss him. He was very attractive, after all. And sweet, strong, sensitive, and recently, determined. He was going to make the world a safer place for vampires, and in a way, for humans, too. By changing the way vampire hunters felt about our species, he was slowly turning the tides. He was bringing order to the chaos, laws to the lawless, peace to the violence. I was sure there were a ton of people who wouldn’t like that fact, but I believed in him, and in what he was doing.
That was why I went with him every night when he went to convert a new group of hunters. It was dangerous, and Dad didn’t like me going, but I was stronger now. I was also blessed with the power to compel humans, too, so I could help Hunter in his mission. It gave me purpose, and helped take my mind off Julian, and all the things I had lost.
Standing, Hunter extended his hand to me. “We should go. There will probably be a few hunters waiting for us, if we’re lucky.” Each group of tranced hunters was asked to contact other hunters and have them wait at Hunter and Connor’s old home for “special instructions.”
Rising from the bed I didn’t sleep in anymore, I took his offered palm. “Okay, let’s go change some minds.”
From down the hall, I heard a sleepy voice mutter, “Nika…I want you to stay in tonight.”
I rolled my eyes and walked out to the hallway, pulling Hunter with me. Dad was at the end of the hall, leaning against his bedroom door. He looked exhausted, like any second he would topple over. He usually tagged along when Hunter and I went to meet with the hunters, then he stayed up afterward with his door open, listening for any sound of inappropriate behavior. Dad was burning himself at both ends, trying to watch over me all night long. Guilt washed through me as his haggard appearance cracked my heart.
Releasing Hunter, I walked toward Dad. He straightened, doing his best to look authoritative, even though he was dressed in his pajamas. Ignoring the stubborn stance he was giving me, I wrapped my arms around his neck. For the first time in my life, my father was no longer ice-cold to the touch; we were the same. “I love you, Daddy,” I whispered in his ear. “But you need to let me go.”
He buckled under my words. Arms tight around my waist, he murmured, “How am I supposed to do that? You’re my baby…”
Pulling back, I locked gazes with the pale blue eyes I had loved all my life. “And I always will be. Letting me go doesn’t mean you have to give me up.”
A corner of Dad’s mouth twitched into the smile that made Mom giggle like a schoolgirl. Widening it, he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re so much like your mother. I think that’s another reason why this is so hard for me.” He looked behind me at Hunter. I itched to look with him. The bond buzzed in me, goading me to return to Hunter, but I shoved the feeling aside so I could focus on my father. He needed me more at the moment. Eyes intently focused on my sire, Dad said, “You’re in possession of one of the most important things in my life. Treat her accordingly.”
Hunter’s smooth voice as he answered was like an electric current down my spine. “She is the most important thing in my life, and I won’t let anything happen to her.”
Dad returned his eyes to me, sighed, then kissed me on the forehead. “Be careful. You’re a pureblood vampire now, but you’re not invincible.”
I kissed his cheek. “We’ll be safe. Get some sleep.” Dad gave me a face that clearly told me he wouldn’t be sleeping so long as I was gone. I gave him one of my mother’s famous do-not-argue-with-me expressions. “You need rest, you’re about to keel over. I’ll be fine with Hunter, and besides, Halina’s in the city. You know she’ll show up at the meeting spot. The tranced hunters will be there, too. We’ve done this all week, Dad. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
Dad relaxed a little but then his eyes shifted back to Hunter. I could see the distrust there, and I knew it was more over my body than my safety this time. I moved into Dad’s line of sight so he would look at me again. “We’ll be good. I promise.”
Even though he nodded at me, by the tight way Dad pressed his lips together, I knew he probably wouldn’t sleep well tonight, if at all. Poor guy. We separated, and I returned to Hunter. The buzz from my body amplified as we approached each other. Even only being a few feet apart caused a reaction, albeit a much smaller one. Hunter had a euphoric smile when he wrapped me in his arms. I felt it, too, as I leaned up to kiss him. Dad cleared his throat, and I forced my lips to detach from Hunter’s. It was difficult.
Looking back at him, I cringed. Wanting to change the focus, and maybe suffering from a little wishful thinking, I brightened my expression and asked, “So, since you’re more comfortable with all of this, can Hunter stay with us now?”
Dad switched the scowl on his face to a smirk. “I never said I was comfortable, and no. No, he can’t.” He grinned at me as he added, “Nice try.”
Hunter and I stepped outside, and I paused to take in the vibrant air. There was an energy to the darkness that I’d never noticed before. It pulsed around me, beckoning me into shadowy corners and moonlit pathways. Being nocturnal appealed to the vampiric blood pumping through my veins, and while I missed the sun, there was an abundant amount of beauty to be found at night, away from the could-be garish light of day.
It was the middle of the night for humans, which was the middle of the day for us. It astounded me some that I’d already acclimated to the time difference. I would have thought I’d be tired and sluggish for days after my conversion, but I’d felt fine from that very first night. It even felt natural being up all night long.
Hunter smiled as he watched me enjoying the twilight. “I can’t say I’m happy about everything that has transpired recently, but…you certainly are a sight to behold in the moonlight.”
I laughed as I grabbed his hand. “So are you.”
We walked at a human pace toward Hunter’s old home, the place where I’d first laid eyes on him. Just before the house, we ran into Rory and Cleo. The pair of ex-vampire hunters were among the first batch that Hunter had compelled. Rory was a wide man, a six-foot-five wall of solid muscle. Even still, I could probably bench-press him if I wanted. Cleo was the opposite. Long, lean, and dark as the night, she was lithe and swift. She vanished so quickly at times, I nearly thought her a ghost. They were sort of Hunter’s lieutenants now, helping him with everything and anything. They even saluted him when he came into view.
“Only three this time.” Rory bowed his head. His dark hair was cut close to the scalp; a thin white line ran parallel to his right eye. He’d had a close call once. Probably more than once, considering his line of work.
“Three is better than none,” Hunter said as Rory and Cleo fell into step behind us. Their heartbeats were low and smooth, untroubled. Whatever anxiety they might have once felt about our kind, they certainly didn’t feel it now. Glancing over his shoulder, Hunter asked, “Any trouble with these three?”
Cleo shook her head. “No, they believe they’re here for important intel. They’re just waiting for the lead hunter to arrive…Hunter.” Her mouth curved into a one-sided smirk. She had the kind of lips men fantasized about—so plump you’d almost think she’d had them cosmetically altered. Cleo wasn’t the type, though. Everything about her was natural. She wasn’t out to impress anybody. Her mission was her life, and now her mission was Hunter’s mission.
Hunter twisted back to the front and continued leading us to his old home. Some things had changed drastically since he’d last lived there. Some things were charmingly the same, like the effeminate salmon color of the walls. It appeared slightly darker at night, but it was still definitely pink. The familiarity brought a smile to my face, and I hoped the landlord never changed the color.
Halina arrived just as we reached the door. Gabriel was with her. She beamed at Hunter, but restrained herself from hugging him in front of the “troops.” Instead, she merely nodded at him, then opened the door for us all. Rory and Cleo rushed inside first, to calm and gather the new trio of hunters who were about to be brought into the fold. Hunter paused for a moment, listening to the greetings, then strode in. Not expecting a vampire in their midst, the hunters in the living room were slow to react. Their brief hesitation was all we needed. Calm as a summer day, Hunter told them. “Don’t move, don’t speak. I have something to tell you, and I want you to listen very carefully.”
Forty-five minutes later, we had three more eager volunteers ready to champion the cause for vampire rights. Hunter was very careful to stress that every precaution should still be taken when dealing with vampires, but now, vampires would be given a chance to prove their innocence and not just murdered unduly. It was a way to give vampires, like my family, a chance to live in peace. We wouldn’t be hunted simply because of what we were. We could relax…somewhat.
Once Hunter gave the new recruits the order to send any “uninformed” friends our way, we were free to leave. Halina gave Hunter a sad look as he told her goodbye. Even though she tried to hide it as she repeated his sentiment, I could see the longing in her eyes. Hunter had been spending all his time with me. That had to be hard on her, since they were bonded, too.
Since it was still early in the day for us, we took a long, slow walk around the city. I’d never remembered Salt Lake being so beautiful, or Hunter being more at peace. He was finally okay with what he was, and with what I was.
Whether planned or by force of habit, we ended up at the library before long. We walked up the sloping ramp to the rooftop garden. Being amid the plush green grasses and slumbering flowers was soothing. Sitting on a railing, we looked out over the twinkling lights of the city spread out around us. While I’d been taught to not get too attached to a place, since my life would be a constant juggling act of lies and movement, I thought Salt Lake would always have a place in my heart. Different by Nature, just like me.
Hunter grabbed my hand and stroked my fingers. Our bond was calm and quiet since we were together. Everything was calm and quiet. Remembering something that I’d grabbed for Hunter a few nights ago, before everything in my life had changed, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small wooden puzzle box.
When I handed it to Hunter, his eyes widened. “How did you…?” He couldn’t finish his question in his confusion.
My grin was enormous as I watched him finger the contraption. “It was in your jacket, in that old man’s house. By the look on your face when you’d told me your dad had bugged it, I figured it was important to you.” Pointing at the side of it, I added, “I took the tracker out, by the way.”
Hunter stared at me, dumbfounded. “You figured out how to open it?”
Laughing a little, I grabbed it back. Simultaneously pressing on two smooth wooden sections, I popped it open. “Wasn’t so hard.” Truth was, it had been a little tricky, and I’d nearly smashed the stupid box against the wall, but the stunned look on Hunter’s face was priceless, so I didn’t mention that.
Hunter gingerly took the box back. The inside was lined with velvet, and the only thing that I had found inside—besides the tracker—was a picture and a ring. The picture was obviously of Hunter and his family, back when he and his sister were younger and his mother was still alive. They’d all looked so happy and normal, but even back then they’d been hunters, born and bred. Hunter removed the photo, smiling at the family members he’d lost. “My sister was twelve in this picture. She was given her first stake a few weeks later…” He sighed and shook his head. “Odd how much things change. Dad asked me what she’d think of me now. Sometimes I wonder the same thing.”
I ran my hand up and down his arm. “She’d see that you were doing the right thing, and she’d be very proud of you.” I kissed his shoulder. “I’m very proud of you.” He smiled down at me, and I pointed to the ring in the box. “Is that your mother’s?”
Nodding, Hunter replaced the photo and pulled out the golden circle with a small, modest diamond solitaire attached to it. “Her wedding ring. Her first one anyway. Mom and Dad didn’t have much in the beginning, doing what they did for a living. Dad eventually gave her a nicer one, but this simple one was always her favorite. Evangeline took it once Mom died. Now that she’s dead, too…I guess it’s mine.”
I folded his fingers around the ring. “It’s beautiful.”
Hunter grinned at me. “Maybe I’ll give it to you one day? When you’re older, of course.” He laughed, and I playfully pushed him away from me.
“Maybe someday I’ll agree to wear it…when I’m older, and ready to settle down with one man.”
I gave him a teasing smile, and he pursed his lips in feigned displeasure. “Mmmm hmmm.”
Laughing, I leaned into his side. Hunter fingered his mother’s jewelry, then lovingly put it back into the box, and back into his pocket. “Thank you for saving these for me. It means a lot.”
I exhaled in contentment. “I know. You’re welcome.”
After a peaceful, quiet moment, Hunter whispered, “Are you hungry? We could get you some more to eat.”
Even though I’d downed a huge glass of blood almost the instant I’d woken up, I was hungry again, almost on the edge of starving. That was a side effect of being a newborn. It didn’t control me, though. I controlled me.
Resting my head on his firm shoulder, I murmured, “Yes, I need to eat again, but I don’t want to leave just yet. It’s too perfect here. With you.”
I could feel Hunter chuckle, then felt him kiss my head. “Whatever you want, Nika. Whatever you want.”
We stayed there longer than I’d anticipated, just enjoying the still night, the hard-earned freedom we’d won, and each other’s comforting company. When only a few hours remained in our day, Hunter stood. With hardly any effort at all, he swept me into his arms. I laughed as I curled my arms around his neck. “If we stay here ‘til sunrise, you’ll starve to death.”
I laughed a little harder. “And we’ll both fry to a crisp.”
His smile faltered, and I hurriedly gave him a soft peck. “I’m fine with my life.”
His smile returned, although, not as bright as before. Keeping me cradled in his curved arms, he jetted off for my house. If I was going to eat, I preferred to do it from a steaming thermos like the rest of my family. Attacking cattle and wayward animals wasn’t my style. And humans…no…I didn’t ever want to bite a human. My teeth were reserved for Hunter, and Hunter alone.
Like we hadn’t made love again yet, we also hadn’t shared blood again either. I wanted to, but Hunter insisted we should wait until I was stronger. Personally, I thought I was plenty strong enough to handle him drinking from me, and now that the mild concern of Hunter possibly killing me was off the table, I couldn’t wait to try it again. But I knew feeding like that made him slightly uncomfortable still, so I didn’t push him on the matter.
Like a perfect gentleman, Hunter escorted me into my home, made sure I got something to eat, then twisted to leave me once I was finished with my meal. I grabbed his arm before the bond even had a chance to kick in. “And where do you think you’re going? It’s a couple of hours before daylight.”
Hunter grinned as he wrapped his arms around me, then he sighed. “You saw Halina. She misses me, and, truth be told, I miss her too. Our bond isn’t as strong as this…” he squeezed me for emphasis, “…but it’s still there.” When he pulled back, guilt was clear on his face. “I’m sorry, but I’d like to spend some time with my sire.”
Smiling, I shook my head. “You don’t have to be sorry for that, remember. I’m used to this world, and I understand how it works. What you and my grandmother have is special, and I won’t get in the way of it. If you need to go see her, then go. I’ll be fine here with my family.”
Peace smoothed his features. “Okay…I’ll miss you, though. So much, I think it will physically hurt me.”
I patted his chest, where the ache between us when we were apart was the greatest. “It will physically hurt you. Me too.” I sighed contently, loving him with every fiber of my being.
He kissed me. “Okay.” He kissed me again. “Okay, I’m leaving now.” He didn’t move, just kissed me again. “Okay, for real now, I’m leaving.” Again, he didn’t move, and once he realized he hadn’t, he laughed. “Hmm…you may need to help me, or this could go on for the rest of the night.”
I forcefully turned him around, pushed him to the entryway, then shoved him away from me. A shiver of discomfort rippled through my soul. I ignored it, and waved goodbye to him. Hunter nodded, inhaled a deep breath, then walked out the door with halting, jerky movements. As he streaked away from me, the ripples grew into waves that cruelly bashed against my heart with merciless abandon. I stomached the sensation, and closed the door on my love and the last few shadows of the night.
Twisting around, I debated going upstairs to my bedroom to read for a bit, or going straight to my hidey-hole beneath the earth. My new bedroom was originally put in for Halina, so she’d have a place to sleep if she was in town and wanted to stay the night. I’d taken it over since my conversion. It wasn’t nearly as nice as the below-ground halls at the ranch, but it blocked out the sun, and that was really all that mattered.
The entrance to it was buried in the hall closet under the stairs. I had to weasel my way past winter jackets every night to go to bed. But secrecy was ingrained in us, and even if things were drifting toward peace, we relied on our clandestine ways to keep our existence a secret.
I was just cursing my family for having way too many clothes when I heard my brother’s voice drifting down the stairs. “Can I talk to you a second, Nick?”
Wondering what Julian was doing awake, I shifted to head up to his room. When I got there, he was sitting up in his bed, rubbing his eyes. He was dressed in his typical pajamas—a black T-shirt and gray lounge pants. His hair was adorably tousled. Arianna would be all over him if she could see him right now. I wondered if she knew about me, and if so, why she hadn’t called me yet. I’d been too preoccupied adjusting to my new life, and this crazy, intense attraction to Hunter to call her. That made me feel pretty crappy. I was being a bad friend. I made a mental note to call her tomorrow night.
Sitting beside Julian, I smiled and asked, “Why are you up so early?”
I expected him to smile in return, but he stared down at his lap, a slight frown on his face. “I…uh…wanted to talk to you in private. I’ve been wanting to all week.”
Now I frowned. “Oh? What about?”
For some reason, dread filled my belly. It amplified along with Julian’s dour expression. “School…”
I blinked in surprise. By his face, I’d expected something much more sinister. Julian peeked up at me. “You know, what the kids and teachers think happened to you.”
Wondering what he was getting at, I said, “Dad already told me. For now, most of the student body thinks I decided to go back to homeschooling to finish out high school.” And then, after Julian graduated, the memory of both of us would be blurred from the students and staff. It was what my family had done for my father, although, it was going to be much trickier with us, since the school population was so much bigger than when Dad was in school. It wouldn’t matter too much, though. The natural aging process would erase us from the minds of the people Halina couldn’t get to.
Julian bit his lip and started working it between his teeth. I nearly expected him to gnaw through the tender flesh. “What?” I asked, a little irritated that I couldn’t sense what he was feeling right now.
Sighing, he released his mouth. “It’s not really about school. It’s about…Arianna.”
My spine tingled. Why hadn’t she called or come over yet? “I’ve been worried about her. Is she okay? She must still be in shock over what happened.” A thought occurred to me, and I let out a weary exhale. “Is she scared of me now that I’m a pureblood? I know Halina and Hunter kind of freak her out. Is that why she’s staying away? Why she hasn’t called?”
Julian snapped his head away from me, but not before I saw his eyes start to water. The emptiness in my soul where his emotions should have been assaulted me with painful silence. “Julian…where’s Arianna?”
He looked back at me with a hard swallow. “She’s gone, Nick. Grandma erased her…she took everything.”
I shot off the bed like he’d just lit it on fire; his tired eyes only watched me. “What? No, she wouldn’t do that! Arianna is your girlfriend. My best friend. She wouldn’t do that to us!”
His sad eyes lost focus as he stared behind me. “She did. I watched her. Arianna had a breakdown after what happened to you. She freaked out, broke up with me, told her parents everything.” His eyes refocused on mine. “Grandma…was on edge, I think. She wiped her clean, just like she promised me she would.”
I collapsed on the bed, no longer able to stand. “I can’t…no…she has to remember…”
Julian put his hand over mine. “She doesn’t. I see her every day at school, and she has no clue who I am. None of our friends remember us being together either. It’s like the last few months never existed. Like I’d just been dreaming them…”
He choked on his words, and I put aside my pain to focus on Julian’s. He loved her, and she didn’t know him. I couldn’t even imagine how much he hurt, and it felt a little selfish, but for the first time, I was remotely happy that I couldn’t feel it. Sympathy for him weighed down my spirit. “Julie…I’m so sorry. Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
He sniffed and looked at his lap again. “I told them not to. I wanted to be the one to tell you. I wanted to tell you right away, but…I couldn’t talk about it, and you had so much on your plate already.”
“You should have told me. No matter what is happening to me, I want to know what you’re going through.” I sighed. “Especially now that we can’t feel each other. Talking is all we have now.” Julian nodded, but didn’t comment.
I rubbed his back while we sat in silence. My vision hazed with red tears as I remembered all the times that I’d had with my quirky human friend, times that she didn’t remember now. “I can’t believe she’s gone. I never got a chance to say goodbye.”
Julian straightened and looked over at me. Wearing our grandmother’s confidence, he told me, “I’m going to win her back, Nick. She might not remember me, or what we were, or what we had, but I know she’s still attracted to me.” He gave me a sly yet determined smile. “I don’t care how long it takes, but I’m going to make her fall in love with me again. She’ll love both of us again.”
He seemed so sure of that, and I believed him. But still, love didn’t guarantee that we wouldn’t lose her. “Won’t she just freak out again…and won’t Grandma just wipe her again?”
Julian shook his head. “With what Hunter has been doing, we shouldn’t be chased and shot at anymore…I hope. That was what freaked her out, not what we are. I mean, you had just died…she was overwhelmed. Grandma shouldn’t have wiped her so fast. She should have given her time to adjust.”
He nodded with even more conviction. “That’s what I’ll do differently. I’ll give her time to adjust. I’ll go so slowly with her, we’ll make snails look fast.” He grabbed one of my hands with both of his. “I’m not giving up, so don’t worry, okay. I’m going to fix this. I promise.”
I smiled at his optimistic determination. “I believe you.”
I knew it was probably going to take some doing on his part, and a great deal of effort, but I had no doubts that my brother would eventually win over Arianna again. And maybe this time, he’d get to keep her.