Melissa stepped out of the shower and reached for the fluffy white towel hanging over the heated towel rail. She wrapped it around herself and peered into the giant mirror above the sink, examining her skin. She was starting to get crows’ feet and a few lines. Maybe she needed to start looking after her skin a bit better.
‘Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.’ Mark emerged naked from the bedroom and wrapped his arms around her, smiling at their joint reflection.
Melissa held his sleepy-eyed gaze, wishing she could turn off the feelings she had for him. Amy was right. She had fallen for him hook, line and sinker. And worse – he knew it. She so desperately wanted to play hard to get. To make him work harder for her. But she just didn’t know how.
She had never been one of those women who could play it cool. All her life she had lurched from one bed to another, searching for love and affection, always hoping that sex would fill the void. But it never had. Until now. Mark was different. Yes, theirs was a very highly sexual relationship but she did feel loved by him too.
She tried to ignore that he was so much older than her and that maybe he was some kind of substitute father-figure. That was just too weird. No, she loved him in anything but a fatherly way. ‘Good morning. You’re up early. For you.’
Mark’s velvety chocolate-brown eyes crinkled in amusement. ‘We could go back to bed if you want…?’
‘No!’ Melissa turned in his arms so that she was facing him. ‘We need to make sure we’re there on time today. It’ll give Sophie a nice surprise that you’re not two hours late like you normally are.’
Mark bent and kissed her on the top of her nose. ‘I always think being late is very thoughtful. It means your loved ones never have to worry about you if you’re not there on time.’
‘Oh, really? And am I one of your “loved ones”?’ Melissa rolled her tongue on the word “loved”, hoping to disguise the seriousness of her question.
Mark’s brow furrowed as he pretended to think about it. ‘Um, yes. One of them, anyway.’
Melissa tutted and dodged out of his embrace, striding into the bedroom. She knew he was joking. She just wished he didn’t have the power to hurt her so much.
‘Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?’ Mark followed her into the bedroom and watched her as she sat at the dressing table, smoothing moisturizer onto her cheeks and blinking back tears.
‘Nothing.’
Mark came and sat on the bed. ‘Come on. This isn’t like you. You might as well tell me what’s wrong.’
Melissa looked at him in the reflection of the dressing-table mirror. ‘What are we doing, Mark?’
Mark blinked slowly. ‘We’re having fun. Aren’t we?’ He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head slightly as he asked the question.
Melissa put down the moisturizer. ‘Yes. It’s just…’ She could feel her heart racing as she tried to pluck up the courage to say what she wanted to say. ‘It’s just that I think I might want a bit more than that.’
‘Ah.’ Mark leaned back slightly and nodded. ‘I see.’
There was an awkward silence. Melissa considered filling it by telling him that she was joking. That she had just wanted to see how he’d react but she somehow felt that this was the right moment to find out where she stood. Whether she had any kind of a future with him. ‘What about you, Mark? Do you ever feel that?’
Mark’s eyes slid away from hers. She could almost feel him squirming inside. ‘Um, sometimes. Maybe. I’m not sure.’
Melissa watched him, drinking him in. She really loved him. He made her laugh. He made her feel special. He was everything she had ever wanted in a man. She couldn’t imagine putting an end to whatever it was they had together. But she couldn’t carry on like this either. It would destroy her.
‘I think that answers my question.’ Her voice dropped to a whisper and she couldn’t hold back the tears, as they rolled unstoppably down her face.
Mark came and knelt beside her, wrapping his arms around her, rocking her gently as she cried. ‘Don’t cry, darling. Listen, I love being with you. I think you’re wonderful.’
Melissa nodded and sniffed. He had never told her he loved her. Even now when it was all she needed to hear. ‘I think you’re wonderful too.’
‘Well then, why the tears?’ He stroked her hair tenderly.
‘Because I’m in love with you, Mark. And you’re not in love with me.’
Mark shook his head, looking perplexed. ‘I told you, I love being with you, I really do.’
Melissa gave a half-laugh. ‘I know. But that’s not the same as loving me.’
Mark opened his mouth to speak again but Melissa put a finger to his lips. ‘Don’t just say something you don’t mean, Mark. I know you so well. I understand you. I know that you’re not the type to settle down with one woman. Which is why I have to put a stop to this. I don’t want to. But it’s eating away at me and I have to protect myself.’
‘There’s no need to put a stop to it, darling.’ Mark cupped her face in his hands and gave her a searching look. ‘We’re happy, aren’t we? We have a good time together. Can’t that be enough?’
Melissa smiled. As she did so, she felt him relax. ‘You see?’ he continued, giving his head a tiny shake. ‘Don’t think so deeply about everything. Let’s just go with the flow and see what happens.’
Melissa leaned forward and kissed his full lips. Then she pulled away and stood up. ‘That’s just not enough for me, Mark. I want marriage. I want babies.’ She almost laughed as she watched his tanned face instantly pale at her words. ‘I want what Sophie has, with a man who loves her as much as she loves him. Don’t worry, I know I’m not going to get that from you. But I need to find a man who will give me that and I’m not going to find him while I’m sleeping with you every night.’
Mark stood up and came towards her. She had never seen him look so sad. ‘I don’t want to lose you. We’re so good together, Melissa.’
Melissa’s heart leapt momentarily. Was this the moment she had waited for? Was he finally going to realize that she was the only woman for him and get down on one knee?
‘But I’d be a terrible husband,’ he said, causing Melissa’s sprits to drop again instantly. ‘And an even worse father,’ he continued. ‘I’m too selfish. I like my life too much.’
‘I know.’ Despite the pain she felt at his words, Melissa admired his honesty. She was glad he didn’t just say all the things he knew she wanted to hear, in order to keep her coming back to his bed night after night. ‘But, Mark, you have to give me the chance to find happiness with someone else. Before it’s too late. I don’t want to get to forty and find myself on the scrapheap. It’s different for you. There’s no time limit the way there is for me.’
Mark pulled her into his arms and held her tightly to his chest. ‘Can’t we still see each other?’ he said into her hair, his voice plaintive. ‘Can’t you hunt for Mr Right while still enjoying the company of Mr Wrong?’
Melissa laughed. She could feel her resolve weakening. Maybe she could still spend the odd night with Mark, while she was looking for someone new. ‘I don’t know…’ she whispered.
‘You do know…’ Mark kissed her, sending pulses of lust racing through her whole body. He was so persuasive. ‘You can’t resist me, darling. Any more than I can resist you.’
Melissa allowed him to undo the towel she was wrapped in and lay her gently back on the bed. He began to kiss her all over, effortlessly finding her erogenous zones, as if he had memorized the map of her body. ‘How could you even think about giving this up?’ he murmured, as she let out a moan of pleasure.
Melissa gasped and pushed him away. ‘No!’ she said, getting off the bed and shaking her head. ‘I can’t. I can’t do this any more, Mark. It’s over.’