Becky
Birmingham, UK
30 June 2018
‘I guess this is a bit different from your little village in Sussex?’ Kai asks as he and Becky walk up the busy street where he grew up, just outside the main centre of Birmingham. Bustling shops line the road, people enjoying their Saturday morning errands. People pass the red-brick buildings in colourful saris and swaying dreadlocks, a multicultural hotspot. This is very different from Becky’s little village. It feels so vibrant, so full of energy … just like Kai.
She’d called him when she’d touched down in the UK. She’d wanted to broach the subject of him coming to Russia with her to try to find her sister and explore the cave where Idris’s painting had been found. As she’d been flying into Birmingham airport – it was the cheapest flight she could find from Slovenia – he’d suggested they meet up in the town. She’d been hesitant at first. But then she’d thought why not? She’d flown back a day early anyway and David wasn’t expecting her home yet. Plus she was intrigued to see where Kai lived.
And now here she is. A group of teenagers pass, looking her up and down. She smiles at them, resisting the urge to pull her bag close to her. Just because they are teenagers wearing hoods doesn’t mean they’ll steal her bag.
‘Yeah, you might want to zip that bag of yours up,’ Kai says to her in a low voice. ‘I love it around here but there are a few – how shall I put it? – troubled youths hanging around. I know because I was one of them once,’ he adds with a sigh. ‘Anyway, we live just up the street. You’ll love them all. It’ll freak you out at first, there are a lot of them. But trust me, you’ll soon feel at home.’
Becky stops walking. ‘Them? What do you mean?’
‘My family!’
‘But I thought we were going to your house?’
‘We are. I live with my mum.’
Becky can’t help but laugh. ‘How old are you?’
He shoots her a look. ‘Thirty-three. And so what? I travel so much there’s no point getting anywhere myself yet. Plus my mum cooks a damn good curry goat.’
Becky swallows, suddenly nervous. Hadn’t Kai said he had five sisters?
‘They know I’m not your …’ She lets her voice trail off.
He laughs. ‘Girlfriend? Of course. They won’t believe it but who cares? Come on, I’m starving.’
Becky takes a deep breath and follows him for a few more minutes until they get to a quieter end of the street, a line of red-brick houses with bay windows. He swings the gate to one of them open and walks towards a red front door. Before they even reach the door, Becky can smell the mouth-watering cooking.
‘Breathe it in,’ Kai says, wafting his hand to his nose and closing his eyes as he inhales. ‘It’s a thing of beauty.’
‘Smells amazing.’
He lets them in and a cacophony of noise hits Becky: girls arguing, pop music being played, the bash of pots and pans and, above it all, the sharp loud shout of a woman.
‘Keep your pipes down, child. Kai’s lady will be here any minute.’
‘Lady?’ Becky says, raising an eyebrow.
‘I told you, Mum won’t accept it.’
‘Kai!’ A girl of about ten comes hurtling down the hallway, throwing herself into Kai’s arms. She’s tiny and beautiful with black hair tied into tight braids.
‘This is Tashel, my niece,’ Kai says, swinging her around as she giggles. Two women appear at the end of the hallway then, both in their twenties and identical apart from their dress senses, one dressed conservatively in a smart black dress, the other in ripped jeans and a low-cut red top.
‘The twins,’ Kai says, disentangling himself from his niece and giving the two women a high five. ‘Janique and Chrisette, Tashel’s long-suffering mum.’
Tashel crosses her arms and gives him a faux angry look.
‘Hello, Becky, welcome to the madhouse,’ the smartly dressed sister says. ‘So good our big bro’s found himself a lady.’
‘I hate to break the news but we’re just friends,’ Becky says.
‘But Mum said …’ The other twin sighs, shaking her head. ‘Why does she think every woman you meet is your future wife, Kai?’
‘It’s hope,’ the other twin says, ‘desperate hope her oldest son will settle down.’
‘Never!’ Kai declares.
They all laugh.
‘Come through,’ Kai says, jostling past his sisters and going into the kitchen. It’s a long galley kitchen looking out onto a neat garden. Sitting at a round table is a couple in their thirties, another one of Kai’s many sisters, Becky presumes. At the hob is an older woman with braided grey hair down her back and a beautiful long patterned dress. She turns when Becky enters and her face lights up.
‘Becky!’ She jogs forward and pulls her into a hug then holds her at arm’s length, examining her. ‘Nice and curvy, good. Kai doesn’t like them stick thin.’
‘Mum!’ Kai says, exasperated. ‘We’re just friends.’
She ignores him. ‘So, has my boy been behaving?’
‘I don’t really know,’ Becky says. ‘I’ve not been with him much.’
Kai’s mum whacks him with a wooden spoon. ‘Take her out more!’
Kai opens his mouth to protest but his sister shakes her head. ‘Don’t waste your breath – she’s in denial.’ She smiles at Becky. ‘I’m Pheebie, this is my husband, Antwan.’
Becky waves at them. ‘I’m Becky.’
‘Where are Chanese and Thea?’ Kai asks.
Becky takes a deep breath. All these names to remember, all the hustle and bustle of family life, she just isn’t used to it.
‘Dining room,’ his mum declares. ‘Lunch ready in five minutes. Get out of my kitchen, all of you! It’s getting too damn hot in here.’
Kai rolls his eyes and leads Becky out, but his mum stops him. ‘Not our guest. Stay, Becky.’
‘Mum, don’t grill her,’ Kai says with a sigh. ‘She really is just a friend.’
‘I know, I know. I just like to get to know my guests without all of you harping in my ear.’
Kai shrugs at Becky and she smiles. ‘It’s fine, maybe I’ll get an early taste of the curry. It smells delicious.’
Kai’s mum winks at him. ‘I like her already.’
The others leave the room, the sound of the TV turning on in the next room.
‘Can I help?’ Becky asks.
Kai’s mum shakes her head. ‘No, sit,’ she replies, gesturing to the table.
Becky does as she is told and sits down, looking around the kitchen. It’s a modern room with wooden tops and colourful blue units. Spices hang from a rack, various bottles of oils and more lining the sides. It’s clearly the hub of the house and Kai’s mum is in her element in there.
‘Kai tells me you’re searching for your sister?’ she asks Becky as she stirs the curry.
Becky nods. ‘I think I’ve tracked her down in Russia.’
Kai’s mum raises her eyebrow. ‘Russia? Always thought it looked like a strange place. Will you go?’
‘I hope so.’
She nods. ‘Good. Family’s important. You want children of your own?’
‘One day, I hope.’
‘Better hurry up, you’re not young.’
Becky laughs. She ought to be insulted but she likes Kai’s mum’s refreshing honesty. ‘Just thirty-five, it’s not so old.’
The woman waves her spoon up and down, gesturing to Becky’s tummy. ‘Those little eggs will be shrivelling soon and then what?’
‘I’m sure I’ll be fine, I have my dogs.’
‘Dogs, pah! Dogs won’t run you ragged and ruin your beautiful new kitchen, will they?’ she says, gesturing to a burn ring on her wooden surfaces.
‘You want to bet?’ Becky replies.
They smile at each other.
‘So you and my son, just friends?’ Kai’s mum asks.
‘Absolutely.’
She looks at Becky sideways as she pours some sauce into a huge pan. ‘You have a man?’
‘Not right now.’
‘Ever had one?’
‘One serious relationship when I was a teenager.’
‘What happened?’
Becky sighs. She’s not sure how she feels being quizzed like this. Half of her likes it, the other half feels a bit overwhelmed.
‘He left me out of the blue ten years later. I never really knew why.’
The woman turns around and smiles sadly. ‘Now I understand.’
‘Understand what?’
‘Why you and Kai have connected. You know he was engaged to be married last year?’
‘I had no idea. What happened?’
‘He will tell you all in his own time.’ She takes her apron off and sits across from Becky, taking her hand. ‘Your mother died not long ago?’
Becky nods, looking down at their conjoined hands as she tries to contain her sadness. It hits her sometimes, like a sledgehammer to the core. She’s barely stopped for breath since she’s started searching for her sister, so she hasn’t had much time to properly process the grief.
Hasn’t allowed herself much time.
‘Kai says you were with her when she went,’ Kai’s mum says softly. ‘That’s a luxury. I was thousands of miles away. Hold that in your heart.’
Becky smiles sadly. ‘I do. Does it get any easier?’
Kai’s mum shakes her head. ‘Not really. And the moment you think it has, it comes at you like a wave out of nowhere again. Especially milestones, you know? When my youngest was born, just after my mum passed, I thought how sad it would be she would never know her grandmother.’
Becky thinks of her own grandmother, seen only in photos bitterly shoved back into boxes by her mum.
‘Did you know yours?’ Kai’s mum asks, as though sensing her thoughts.
‘No, my mum never saw her. They had a difficult relationship. She used to be a singer.’
‘Oh yes?’ Kai’s mum says.
Becky nods. She remembers the rare times her mum talked about her grandmother, of how she always told her having a child had derailed her career.
She remembers her mum imitating her grandmother. ‘I was destined to be the next Patsy Cline. The Brunette Patsy Cline, my manager once called me. Then you came along.’
Her mum was a mistake, so she was constantly told. Becky had overheard her dad telling Cynthia about it once during a playdate when she was a child, how her mum’s poor relationship with her own mother could be detrimental to her relationship with Becky. He told Cynthia that Becky’s grandmother had met her first husband while singing at a nightclub in Margate. He was a manager at the local Dreamland theme park and she had been impressed at first, seeing him in his smart suit and hat. After an impoverished childhood, Becky’s grandmother yearned to never have to worry about money as her parents had.
But by the time she was pregnant and she’d married him, it transpired that the man behind the smart suit and hat was riddled with debt and would never be able to guarantee her a good life. Selma’s mother had eventually kicked him out when her main – her only – reason for being with him gone. As money dwindled, they’d had to downsize, ending up living in a tiny flat in Margate, the same flat her grandmother lived her later years in, only once or twice living somewhere with one of her many ex-husbands during short-lived and tempestuous marriages.
Becky had visited the flat in Margate once, long ago sold. It sat above a fish and chip shop a five-minute walk from Margate’s main promenade. She remembers standing outside, peering up and imagining her mother up there as a child, the smell of chips and vinegar floating up, the shouts of drunk tourists outside on the streets. It couldn’t have been easy, but at least she’d had her mother with her until she left when she went to university, unlike Becky who’d lost her mum at eight. Or so it felt. Would it have been better if Becky’s mum had been without her mother from eight? From what she could glean from the way her parents talked about her grandmother, it couldn’t have been pleasant living with her. Maybe that was why her mum was the way she was. But then plenty of people had difficult childhoods, didn’t they?
‘Want a taste?’ Kai’s mum asks, getting back up and going to the pot.
Becky shakes the memories away. ‘Yes please.’
She scoops up a spoonful and brings it over to Becky. Spices and herbs and the most succulent goat’s meat hits her tongue as she sips from the wooden spoon.
‘Incredible,’ Becky says.
Kai’s mum smiles. ‘Good. Let’s set the table then, shall we?’
Twenty minutes later, Becky is sitting at a packed table with Kai’s mum, sisters, their partners and his sweet little niece. It’s a clatter of chatter, words machine-gunned out between mouthfuls of his mum’s amazing stew. They’re all fascinated by her job as a vet, laughing and flinching as she tells them stories, and Kai fills them all in on his latest cave adventures. His other two sisters are the youngest, in their early twenties, one with her short hair dyed red and a piercing in her nose, the other glamorous in bright pink lipstick. They’re each so different but all as lovely as each other, and Becky can see why Kai is so natural and fun.
As she watches them all interact, she imagines things being different with her mum. Maybe she would have had more children if she hadn’t have left for that cave? Or if Becky’s dad had been more relaxed about it all, Becky could have shared her mum’s life, spending half her time in the cave with her sister, growing up around the noise and fun of a community.
But more than anything, Becky feels a loss at having no real female influence in her life. Kai moans about his sisters taking up the bathrooms and filling the house with the stench of perfume and hairspray, but Becky craved that as a child. Some noise, some clatter, even someone to argue with. It was always just so calm and clean with her dad.
‘Want to go outside? The sun’s out, we can talk all things Russia,’ Kai says quietly after they’ve eaten their succulent delicious sweet potato pudding. She can see in his blue eyes he can sense her contemplation.
‘Yeah, sure. That’d be good.’
She says her thanks then follows Kai outside as the sisters exchange raised eyebrows. It seems that, no matter how much they deny it, his family are convinced they’re an item. Becky allows herself for a moment to imagine it to be true. Coming here for the weekend, sitting on that big corner sofa with his sisters and watching a girly film. Learning his mum’s recipes. Huddling up in the very swing chair they’re heading to now, looking up at the stars as they talk into the night.
She feels her cheeks flush. What is wrong with her?
‘So how was Slovenia?’ Kai says as they both sit down, the swing chair creaking under their weight. Next door, a raucous barbecue is taking place, men whooping as girls laugh. On the other side, a woman nurses her screaming baby.
‘Interesting,’ Becky says. ‘The caves are beautiful.’
He shakes his head. ‘I’m so jealous, I’ve never been.’
‘Ha, I have one cave up on you.’
He playfully narrows his eyes at her. ‘So tell me what you learnt then.’
She tells him everything: about the cavern where Idris and Solar lived, the way they just suddenly left, then the photo of Idris’s painting in the Russian cave, and the article Caden found about Solar. She hands the article to Kai and he looks at the photo.
‘I guess if Idris likes caves, the Kungar Ice Caves would appeal,’ Kai says. ‘But to live there? Especially with a kid. They’d be freezing.’
‘Maybe he had no choice. I keep hearing from people he was running from someone, was scared.’ She thinks of the burnt-out cave in Spain, the scary paintings Solar drew. Who was after him and why?
‘I talked to that Julien guy a bit after you left Spain actually,’ Kai says. ‘He said the same to me, about Idris being scared of someone. You’re not worried about your sister though, are you?’ he says, looking down at the article. ‘She seems have survived her childhood unscathed judging by the photo.’
‘But what about Idris? Nobody can track him down, not even someone like Caden who’s trained to trace family members.’
‘Solar will probably know.’
Becky nods.
‘Hey, I got some other good photos from Spain,’ Kai says, pulling his phone from his pocket. ‘I didn’t want to bombard your inbox with all my photos from the trips so I didn’t send them all.’
They lean close as he scrolls through them. Many are of that evening in the caves, Becky beaming out in some, her face red from the wine. A few were taken after she left too, including some of Julien sitting outside his cave as he whittled his wooden figurines.
‘These are good,’ Becky says. ‘Choose the right filter and you’ll be an Instagram star in no time.’
Kai laughs. ‘Hashtag no filter all the way, baby!’
But Becky doesn’t laugh back. She’s noticed something in one of the photos from inside Julien’s cave during daylight. She can see paintings she hadn’t seen before, including one of a building she recognises: the old abandoned hotel her mum bought. She can tell it’s that hotel because of the big oak tree that dominates the background.
She zooms in closer. In the painting is a boy, standing on the cliff edge. Behind him, peering out from a window in the hotel, is a face: one half white, the other half black.
The scary face Idris and Solar drew.
Becky shivers, quickly handing the phone back.
‘What’s up?’ Kai asks.
‘That face again,’ she says, pointing to it. ‘But this time, it’s in the hotel Mum lived in.’
Becky nods. ‘Thing is, it was abandoned for years before Mum bought it. It certainly wasn’t open when I lived in the town as a kid.’
‘It could be something from Idris’s past.’ Kai goes to the browser on his phone. ‘What was the hotel called again?’
‘The Bay Hotel.’
He quirks an eyebrow. ‘Original. Okay, let me see if I can find anything on it.’ He types the name in as Becky looks over his shoulder and a series of results appear, many of them related to a similarly named hotel in Australia. But a couple are from pages dedicated to the history of the town that Becky grew up in. Kai clicks on it and they both read a small paragraph with a photo of the hotel when it was open. She realises her mum had pretty much restored it to how it once was with its white board exterior and glossy windows.
The Bay Hotel was opened in the year 1900 to a fanfare, particularly popular with people in ill health seeking to benefit from the cave spa beneath it. It dominated the tourist scene for most of the 1900s until the owners put it up for sale in 1975.
‘Idris only arrived in the town in 1991, which is when Mum first left,’ Becky says.
‘Did he? Or maybe he grew up in the area?’
‘Hey, Kai!’ a voice calls out.
They both look up to see a woman peering at him over next door’s fence. She’s pretty with large oval brown eyes and black hair in a wavy bob. Becky notices a change in Kai’s face when he sees the woman. His jaw clenches and he nods stiffly.
‘Hey, Tara.’
‘Who’s this then?’ Tara asks as she stares at Becky.
‘Becky, meet Tara,’ Kai says with a sigh. ‘Tara, meet Becky.’
‘You should come over some time, Kai baby, catch up over a beer,’ Tara says, lifting her bottle up.
‘I don’t think so, Tara,’ Kai replies.
She pouts. ‘Aw, don’t be like that.’
‘You’re drunk.’
She raises an eyebrow. ‘And you clearly need to be. Nice to meet you, Becky,’ she says, giving Becky a look that suggests she really isn’t pleased to meet her. Then she disappears.
‘That was … interesting,’ Becky says when Tara is out of earshot.
‘Always is when it comes to Tara.’
‘She a friend?’
Kai shakes his head. ‘Not any more. Used to be. Used to be a lot more than that, too.’
‘Like your fiancée?’ Becky asks gently, thinking of what Kai’s mum told her.
‘Yeah, something like that,’ Kai replies, leaning back and squinting up at the blue skies. She examines his dark smooth skin, the nose gem twinkling in the afternoon light.
‘I had a something like that once as well.’
He looks at her sideway, one eye closed. ‘Oh yeah?’
‘His name was Gus.’
‘That’s some name.’
Becky smiles. ‘He was some guy. Or so I thought anyway. I was fourteen, a bit lonely. He was lonely too I guess. He’d just moved from the States. We bonded over books. Wasn’t long before we were living in each other’s pockets.’
‘Sounds like me and Tara. I was sixteen. Except it wasn’t books with her, more like beer.’
They laugh.
‘So what happened with this Gus dude?’ Kai asks.
Becky sighs. ‘I wrapped myself up in him, used him as my security blanket. I wouldn’t admit it at the time, but I was missing my mum like hell. It worked for a while, things felt good. But he was a bit controlling. I’d always been interested in science, in animals especially. But Gus convinced me to pursue history instead of “soulless science” as he called it.’
Kai rolls his eyes. ‘Not sure I like this Gus.’
Becky smiles. ‘So I focused on history, following Gus to college and then university, getting a job at a local historic society after, even getting a little flat by the sea in Busby-on-Sea where I moved with my dad. I was so sure we’d always be together.’
Kai nods. ‘I hear ya. Same with Tara. It was just the way it was. Kai and Tara. Tara and Kai. Until I discovered Tara preferred it to be Tara and Zane.’
‘Zane?’
‘My best friend. Found them doing some horizontal dancing on a bench in town last year.’
Becky puts her hand on his arm. ‘A bench? God, I’m sorry, Kai.’
He frowns slightly. ‘Best thing that ever happened to me. Better to have found out before we got married. That holiday in Spain?’ he says. ‘Hannah and Ed dragged me out there to take my mind off the fact I’d have been getting married that week if I hadn’t caught Tara doing the dirty last year.’
‘They’re good friends.’
He smiles. ‘They are. Anyway, here I am talking all about me. What happened with the science basher, Gus?’
Becky sighs. ‘He just told me out of the blue he didn’t love me any more. We were having dinner, watching some programme. And he turned to me and said it. “I can’t do this any more, Becky. I’m not in love with you.”’
Kai flinched. ‘Ouch.’
‘Yep. He moved out the next day. But it’s like you say, better it happened before kids and marriage … I know first-hand how it feels to watch your parents separate. Plus, I’d never have become a vet if he hadn’t left. I’d still be working for that society, archiving photos of old garages.’
‘Why become a vet then? You mentioned some horses behind your house but that was when you were a kid.’
Becky smiles to herself. ‘Gus’s grandmother passed away and left her dog to him. He turned up at my new flat a year after he dumped me, asking me if I wanted the dog because he was going to give it away.’
Kai looks at her incredulously. ‘No way!’
Becky laughs. ‘Yes way. I took the poor thing in, how could I not? He was gorgeous, a three-legged staffie called Rupert. But boy, did he have health problems! I was in the vets a lot. It made me realise just how much I’d love to be the person treating Rupert rather than the one standing there, nodding.’ She frowns. ‘Truth was, the seed was planted way before that. I always blame it on the horses behind our house, but now I remember that it all started when I visited my mum at the cave for the first time. A dog got hurt and I helped and … and I remember Idris telling me I’d be a vet one day. I’ve never liked to attribute it to him but the truth is, that’s when the obsession started for me. He made me believe it was my destiny. Anyway,’ Becky says with a sigh, ‘two years of adult classes to get those science A Levels I always wanted, and five years of training later, I finally qualified! All thanks to Idris …’
‘He sounds like quite something.’
‘I guess he was, to pull all those people in.’
‘Must be complicated emotions though. Your mum had an affair with him, got pregnant.’
Becky shrugs. ‘It wasn’t really an affair. Mum and Dad had split up when she lived in the cave really.’
‘What do you think you’d say if you met him?’
Becky plays with the hem of her shorts. ‘Why did you take my sister … and where is she?’
Kai puts his hand on her arm. ‘You’ll find her.’
‘I hope so.’ She looks him in the eye. ‘You going to help me by coming to Russia?’
As she says that, she realises she desperately wants him to. Not just to help her get access to the cave but for his company too. His smile. His jokes and his support.
He pretends to think about it. Then he shoots her his huge smile. ‘Hell yeah!’
As they high five, Becky glances at Kai’s phone which is sitting on his knee, still open to the page about the old hotel.
How is it all connected?