Becky
Kungar Ice Caves, Russia
3 July 2018
Becky can make out only some vague words. Idris. Solar. Then a year: 2001. There seems to be another name too but it’s undecipherable. She brushes her thumb over the inscription. Maybe Idris had simply brought Solar here to see the inscription. She would have been about nine. A nine-year-old girl would have liked that, seeing a princess’s inscription, and making one of her own.
More voices sound out in the distance.
‘Iskar!’ Becky calls out, her voice booming around the cavern. ‘Hannah! Ed!’
Silence.
Then a voice comes back to her. ‘Becky?’ It’s Hannah.
‘Kai’s hurt his ankle, he can’t walk!’ she calls back.
‘Dork,’ she hears Ed mutter. She smiles to herself.
‘We have to come back anyway,’ Iskar’s firm voice shouts. ‘The other entrance is closed. Can you find your way back to Kai?’
‘I think so,’ Becky replies. ‘Now my bloody torch is working,’ she adds under her breath.
‘See you back there,’ Iskar says.
‘Okay!’
Becky scrambles down and manages to make her way back with less drama now the torch is working. When she returns to the cave, Kai greets her with a raised eyebrow.
‘No luck?’
‘The path over the cavern was too unstable and I have no caving gear. I managed to call out to them too. They’re coming back. Iskar said the other entrance is blocked.’
‘Looks like the evening’s going well then,’ Kai says sarcastically. He reaches into his rucksack, pulling out some biscuits. ‘I found these. Might as well keep ourselves occupied while we wait.’
Becky sits down, leaning against the cave wall as she takes one of Kai’s biscuits. ‘If you told me a week ago I’d be spending the evening in a cave with a speleologist, I wouldn’t have believed you.’
‘You say it like it’s a bad thing.’
She looks around her. ‘I guess the company’s okay. But the whole cave dwelling thing? Not for me. I prefer fields and countryside.’
‘Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.’
‘I have. It’s left you with a sprained ankle, maybe even a broken one, and it nearly got me very lost!’
He laughs. ‘I don’t mind a few broken bones if it means some adventure.’
‘I’ve certainly had some adventures the past couple of weeks.’ She pauses, thinking of the inscription. ‘I found something interesting in the cave actually.’
‘Oh yeah?’
She tells Kai about the inscription Solar and Idris had made.
‘Maybe he brought her here to see the princess’s inscription then. I doubt they lived here.’
‘That’s what I’m thinking. There were other words too but I couldn’t quite see them. Maybe other Children of the Current members.’
Kai frowns. ‘Children of the Current?’
‘The name of Idris’s cult.’
‘You really think it was a cult?’
She takes a bite of her biscuit. ‘The way people who knew Idris talked about him certainly makes it sound like he wielded this weird power. Who knows …’
‘So what next?’ Kai asks Becky.
‘I’m going to the local library Caden told me about. I might have a better chance of finding records for Solar there. I’ll ask around, see if I can track her down. Then I’m going back home,’ she adds with a contented sigh.
‘You look happy about that.’
‘Yeah, all this digging into the past is wearing me down a bit. I need to start looking forward.’
Kai examines her face. ‘And what does looking forward mean for you?’
‘I don’t know really. Work. The dogs.’
‘Just you and them?’
‘There’s more to my life than the dogs, you know! I have my dad, even if he is a few hundred miles away. I have friends, including the odd speleologist or two,’ she adds, jogging her shoulder into his.
‘Ah, so we’re friends now, are we?’
‘Maybe. It depends if you give me your last biscuit.’ He hands it to her and she laughs. ‘I was only kidding. Here,’ she says, snapping it in half and handing him the other piece.
‘Okay,’ he continues. ‘So you have your dad, who lives ages away. You have friends. And you have dogs.’ His face turns serious. ‘Is that enough for you?’
‘Of course it is! God, you sound like my friend Kay. I don’t need a man in my life to be happy, you know.’
‘I’m not talking about a man! I’m talking about having a deeper connection. You said yourself you didn’t get on with your mum. Maybe your search for your sister isn’t just about finding someone you’re related to. Maybe it’s about finding someone you can share your life with – other than those dogs of yours.’
They hear voices and both look up to see Iskar jogging in, looking out of breath, Hannah and Ed behind her.
‘Why’s the other entrance blocked off?’ Kai asks.
Iskar shrugs. ‘Locked. Lev told me it would be open.’
‘What happened to you then, mate?’ Ed asks Kai, walking over.
‘He slipped on the ice,’ Becky explains.
‘Finally, he will find his prince!’ Hannah says.
‘I keep telling you, it’s a princess I want!’ Kai retorts.
‘So how did you manage to get to the princess inscription on your own without getting lost?’ Hannah asks Becky.
Becky tells them all about what happened. A big smile spreads over Hannah’s face. ‘That’s amazing. You did that all without a torch?’
‘I had no choice,’ Becky says.
‘Okay, you are officially one of us now,’ Hannah says.
Becky laughs. ‘Near-death experiences make me one of you?’
‘That’s the beauty of this profession,’ Kai says. ‘Coming out alive after. We need to celebrate! Any bars around here?’
‘You need to get that ankle checked out,’ Becky says.
‘Okay, after that,’ Kai replies, shrugging. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’
‘That might be a bit of a problem,’ Iskar says, looking at her watch. ‘I told Lev we’d be back out by midnight,’ she says. ‘It’s now past midnight. I know Lev, and he will not hang around.’
‘When will he come back?’ Hannah asks.
Iskar shrugs. ‘The first tour starts at eight in the morning.’
‘So we’re stuck here all night?’ Becky asks.
Iskar smiles. ‘Looks like it. But don’t worry, I have something to keep us warm.’ She pulls a large bottle of vodka from her bag and everyone whoops.
Over the next couple of hours, the group huddle in a circle, drinking the vodka and talking. Becky hears stories of their caving exploits and she shares stories from her life as a vet.
‘Another sip?’ Hannah asks, lifting the bottle up. There’s just a third left now and Becky’s head is swimming but she doesn’t care. She rarely drinks but the past couple of weeks call for some alcohol consumption. She’s enjoying the pleasurable burning feeling of the vodka as she drinks it, warming her from the inside out in this freezing place.
‘Yep,’ she says, taking it and slugging back a mouthful before handing it to Kai, who’s lying on the ground and staring up at the icy ceiling in drunken awe.
Becky joins him, her head next to his, feeling a sense of contentment as she stares up at the ice crystals forming a beautiful patchwork above her.
‘Maybe it’s not so bad here,’ she slurs. ‘The surreallness of it, the beauty, the feeling. It’s like I’m really part of something.’
Kai turns his head to look at her. ‘See, I told you you’re just looking to connect.’
Becky looks around her at the others. They get on so well, are so natural with each other. In a way, they’re their own little cult.
‘Did you know,’ Kai says as he points up at the stalactites above, ‘stalactites grow so slowly that when they break, it takes over a human lifetime for the ice to bond again and recover?’
‘I did not know that,’ she says.
‘Each one is different. Individuals, standing alone despite being clustered together,’ he continues.
She watches him as he talks. He really is quite attractive. She rolls her eyes. She’s had too much vodka, clearly.
‘What?’ Kai asks, moving awkwardly onto his side so he’s facing her.
‘Oh, just thinking of how surreal it is, lying in an ice cave with a bunch of strangers.’
His brow creases. ‘I’m not a stranger.’
‘No, you’re not. You know what I mean though?’
‘Not really. Some relationships can form in just a few moments, others can take years, just like the ice in this stalagmite.’
‘Or people don’t get the chance to bond at all,’ Becky says with a sigh.
‘You’re thinking of your sister?’
Becky nods. ‘My mum too.’
‘You’ve never really forgiven her for leaving you, have you?’
She frowns. ‘It’s not like that. I’m not bitter.’
‘Aren’t you?’ Kai asks, his eyes probing hers. ‘No harm admitting it, Becky. I fell apart when my dad left to go back to Jamaica.’
‘How old were you?’
‘Fourteen. My hormones were all over the place. I rebelled, my poor mum.’ He sighs, shaking his head. ‘Fell in with the wrong crowd, got caught up in some trouble. But then this saved me,’ he says, gesturing around him. ‘Caves. I found something to focus on.’
‘And I found romance novels, and then animals. Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.’
Kai smiles. ‘And we’ve only known each other, what, about two weeks? I reckon we’re one of those fast-forming stalactites.’
They smile at each other. Then there’s the sound of clapping.
‘Right, time for some fun,’ Ed says, standing up. ‘One day, Little Johnny visited a cave.’ He then sits down and points to Hannah.
Hannah stands. ‘Unfortunately, Little Johnny got lost in a grotto in that cave.’ She points at Iskar and sits back down.
Becky frowns. ‘What are they doing?’ she asks Kai.
‘The Unfortunately Fortunately game,’ Kai explains. ‘It’s something we do at night if we’re all staying together, a little ritual I guess. People take it in turns to tell parts of a story, alternating fortunate and unfortunate events.’
Iskar stands up, the vodka bottle in her hand. ‘But fortunately, Little Johnny found a bottle of vodka in the cave.’
Iskar points to Kai and he sits up, shrugging as he points to his ankle. ‘Unfortunately, Little Johnny slipped on the icy ground because he was a clumsy oaf,’ he says with a raised eyebrow, ‘and then he dropped the vodka bottle.’
He points to Becky.
‘Oh God,’ Becky says. ‘I’ve never been a good story-teller.’ She thinks of her mum, the award-winning novelist. She’d know how to do this.
She stands up, closing her eyes as she sees her mum’s pen working over the pages of her notepad. Then she opens her eyes.
‘Fortunately, as the temperatures were sub-zero in the ice cave, the vodka froze so Little Johnny could lick the frozen vodka off the floor.’
Everyone laughs and cheers and she laughs with them, taking a bow and sitting down. As the game continues and they get more drunk and raucous, Becky hugs her knees to her chest, smiling. Was this how her mum felt when she was living in the cave? Part of something? Becky has been alone for so long. Even with her patients and David next door, it isn’t like this. This is special, the bond these people share, the way they live their lives. And in here, in this cave, it somehow enhances that feeling.
For the first time, Becky is beginning to understand why her mum might have done what she did.
She frowns. But did that justify leaving her daughter behind? What happened when the honeymoon period wore off?
Hannah sits next to her, pulling her phone out. ‘I forgot to show this to you in all the excitement hearing about Kai’s fall. We saw this in the cavern, and I took a photo of it for you.’
Becky takes her phone to see it’s Idris and Solar’s inscription. ‘Oh yes, I saw this too. Can you email it to me when we’re back? Kai has my address.’
‘Of course.’
Hannah goes to put it back in her pocket but Becky stops her. ‘Wait. Maybe if we zoom in, we can see the other name better?’
‘Good idea. I have a sharpening app actually. Let me try.’ Hannah messes about with her phone for a few minutes then hands it back to Becky. ‘Got it! I am officially the queen of forensic photograph investigations.’
Becky takes the phone off Hannah and stares at the other word on the inscription.
Idris, Solar and Oceane were here. 2001.
Oceane. She recognises that name. Wasn’t it Caden’s ex, the one who left the group before they went to Spain?
‘Okay, another game,’ Ed says.
Becky reluctantly hands the phone back to Hannah. She could stare at that inscription all night, her mind whirring with the possibilities of how and why Idris, Solar and Oceane had ended up here in this cave.
At eight the next morning, the five of them reappear from the cave. Lev smiles wryly as he holds the iron gate open for them.
‘I did tell you I wouldn’t hang around,’ he says to Iskar. ‘My wife would not have been happy.’
Becky blinks up at the bright morning, yawning. They’d managed to get a few hours’ sleep in the end, huddled up together in the cold, her head on Kai’s shoulder. But she still feels as if she’s been bulldozed.
Lev frowns at the empty bottle of vodka Iskar is carrying. ‘You drank all that inside?’ he asks her.
‘To keep warm,’ Ed says as he yawns.
Lev shakes his head. ‘You Brits really are crazy. And I should know, I’m married to one.’
‘You never mentioned that your wife is from the UK,’ Iskar says.
Lev laughs. ‘Perhaps I haven’t. And people certainly can’t tell from me mentioning her name. Solar sounds more cosmic than British.’
Everyone’s mouths drop open. Becky has to take deep breaths to control herself. Tears flood her eyes.
Had she finally found her sister?