School is out, and I’m officially a senior. I was hoping to spend most of my summer with Kason, but he’s working more hours than what he did during the school year. He doesn’t need to explain why, I already know, so I refuse to guilt him with the fact that I’ve been missing him.
To fill in the boring gaps of hanging out at my house alone, I spend time with Micah and even sometimes Trent. My mom is busier than ever now. She does what she can to try to get home to see me before I go to bed, but those nights are starting to dwindle as the trial draws closer.
Needless to say, today couldn’t have come soon enough. Molly just texted me to let me know she landed, and by the time I make it from the waiting lot and circle around the airport to arrivals, she’s already standing outside.
Her familiar smile reminds me how much I’ve missed her, and I can’t undo my seatbelt fast enough.
“You’re here!”
There’s no doubt everyone can hear our high-pitched excitement as we hug. She’s one of the few people from back home that I truly love and miss. I can’t ever remember a time when she hasn’t had my back, and with everything falling apart with my dad for the last few years, she’s been the only person I’ve felt comfortable confiding in. That is, until now. I find myself turning to Kason more and more. Not that I intentionally turn to Molly less and less, but it’s hard when she lives so far away and Kason is right here. Though, I can’t deny how good it feels to have a piece of my old life with me in my new life here in Florida.
We hop into my car, and when I start driving, she pegs the air conditioner, whining, “My God, it’s so humid.”
“You’re telling me? It’s awful.”
There’s really no point in slathering on makeup when the second you walk outside, it just melts off in the thick, stagnant air. It hangs heavily and plasters to your skin like a sticky dew, and it only gets worse after the hour-long sun showers that come nearly every afternoon. I thought summers in Florida would feel like paradise—I was wrong.
“I can’t believe this is your life,” she says as we cruise along Bayshore with water on one side and palm trees in front of luxury homes on the other. “I wonder if I could convince my mom to let me transfer here for senior year.”
“I wish. I haven’t made a single girlfriend since I’ve been here.”
“Are you serious? Why?”
With a shrug, I respond, “I don’t really know. I mean, I don’t want to come across as a snot, but my best guess would be that they’re jealous.”
“Of what?”
I turn into the front drive of my house. “I somehow wound up making friends with a group of guys that are all pretty popular. But popular here is different from popular back home. They kind of do their own thing, but they’ve always included me, and we’ve become close.”
“I take it Kason is one of those guys.”
“Yeah.” I park the car but leave the AC running. “You’ll meet him later when we go over to Micah’s. They’re all down at the beach right now,” I tell her. “But the thing is, he’s a pretty quiet guy, so I don’t want you to think he isn’t being friendly. He barely even talks to anyone at school.”
“Oooh, the quiet type,” she teases, wagging her brows.
I grab her suitcase from the trunk as she steps out of the car, and when I take her inside, her voice echoes through the open space when she says, “This is amazing.”
“Oh stop. My house back in Texas was nice, too.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have this view,” she exclaims, holding out her arm toward the back of the house, which is covered in floor-to-ceiling windows that offer a perfect view of the veranda and pool.
I roll her suitcase over to the foot of the stairs and give her a quick tour before we head to my room.
“So,” she says, dragging out the word as she walks over to the large window, “this is where you stalked Pool Boy?”
I roll my eyes.
“You still watch him?”
I throw a pillow from my bed at her.
“You do, don’t you?” she teases. I do, but I’m not about to admit that to her. She embarrasses me enough as it is and doesn’t need more ammo.
We spend the afternoon lying around and catching up. She fills me in on all the latest gossip at my old school, and I gush about Kason while I paint her toenails. When I get the text that the guys are heading back from the beach, Molly freshens up, and we drive over to Harbour Island.
“Guppy’s here!” Micah calls out when I let myself in.
“Guppy?”
“It’s a size thing,” I tell her as we walk into the kitchen and find the guys devouring a huge bowl of chopped fruit.
They’re all shirtless, sun kissed, and in their board shorts.
Kason walks straight to me and lifts me in his arms, giving me a strong hug. “Hey, babe.”
I plant a kiss on his neck and then lick the salt from my lips when he sets me back down on my feet.
“Kason, this is Molly.”
“Hey, Molly,” he greets, and then I introduce her to Micah and Trent.
Everyone exchanges hellos and then we all head out back so I can show Molly an even more impressive view than the one at my place.
“I would never leave my house if I lived here,” she says as she rounds the pool and walks down closer to the water. “Is that your boat?”
“Yeah,” Micah tells her. “If you want, we can take it out while you’re here.”
“I’d love to.”
Trent then jumps into the pool and finds himself a raft to lie out on to deepen his already dark tan while the four of us hang out under the shade.
“So, what do you two have planned tonight?”
Sitting on Kason’s lap, I tell him, “No plans. I thought we’d take it easy for today.”
“Dude, your best friend, I mean, second best, comes out to see you, and you’re going to bum it at home?”
Molly eyes Micah. “Second best?”
“Tell her, Guppy.”
“I’ll let you two battle that one out,” I say.
“Until you’re able to make this girl laugh so hard she pees her pants, there’s no way you’re trumping me.”
“Oh my god! Molly!” I shriek as I swat my hand at her, but all she can do is laugh at me.
“You peed your pants?” Kason chuckles.
Molly gives an exaggerated nod. “Luckily my car has leather seats.”
Kason’s face is slathered in amusement, and I throw him under the bus right along with me when I say, “And what about the time you pulled down your pants and used Micah’s pool as your own personal toilet?”
“Dude!” he shouts at Micah. “Is nothing sacred?”
“Besties share everything,” he teases in response and then shoots an antagonizing air kiss to Molly.
But Molly likes retaliation, and as quick as lightning, reaches over and pinches his nipple.
“Holy fuck!” Micah jumps in his seat and covers his chest as she and I burst out in a barrel of giggles.
“What the hell’s going on?” Trent questions when he walks over to us as he’s toweling off.
“Girl just attacked my nipple, man.”
“Nice. She’s feisty.”
Trent drags a chair over to where we are and sits next to Molly, and I already see it in his eyes—he thinks she’s cute. But I have nothing to worry about as I slack into Kason’s arms a little more. Molly isn’t attracted to boys with foul mouths, and especially ones who drink and smoke pot. So, I sit back and watch him as he proceeds to flirt, enjoying the entertainment as the evening plays on.
“This humidity is killing my hair, literally,” Molly fusses as she gives up on the flatiron.
“Tell me about it.”
Molly stands in front of the mirror in my bathroom as I sidle up next to her, dab on a little gloss, and toss my hair back into a ponytail.
“So, what kind of party is this?”
“Pretty much like the ones back home, except there might be pot there.”
Her eyes bulge. “You mean, like, marijuana?”
I nod, wondering if my reaction was as dramatic to Micah when I first saw Trent smoking. “It doesn’t seem to be a big deal around here.”
Twisting the cap back on the gloss, she leans her hip against the sink, asking, “Have you smoked it?”
“God no!”
“Do your friends?”
I shrug passively as I walk back into the bedroom. “Trent and Micah do, but they’re not obnoxious about it.” I slip on my sandals as she stares at me from the bathroom, still half-shocked. “Molly, relax. It’s fine.”
“I can’t believe you’re being so . . . whatever about it.”
“Trust me, I was as stunned as you, but honestly, it’s different from how it is back in Plano.”
“I guess,” she succumbs as we head out.
Molly and I have been keeping busy this past week. We’ve hit the beaches, explored the port, and have spent a lot of time with the guys, swimming and hanging out. Tonight, we are going over to Trent’s house. His parents are away on a week’s vacation in Montreal, so he’s throwing a party with his older brother, who’s home from college.
When we arrive at his place, the house is already packed with people. I recognize a lot of faces from school, but there are even more I’ve never seen.
“This is crazy,” Molly says as she holds on to my hand while I navigate my way through the crowd.
I raise on my tiptoes to try to find Kason who texted me a little bit ago to tell me he was already here, but even on my toes, I’m still shorter than most.
“Adaline!”
I turn around, and see Kason weaving through everyone to get to me.
“Did he invite the whole town?” I joke, and he takes my hand.
“We’re all out back.”
Molly and I follow him out to the backyard where a group is gathered around the large stoned-in fire pit. Everyone is drinking, and when Trent offers, both Molly and I decline. It doesn’t take long for him to strike up a conversation with Molly, and when Kason leans down to my ear and asks to sneak away, I get an approving nod from her.
“I’ve been missing you,” he says when we are far enough away from the crowd that it feels like we are alone.
I soften into him. “I’m right here.”
“You know what I mean.”
And I do. With his busy work schedule and Molly being here, we haven’t spent any real time together. Since both our moms are always at work, we’re used to being alone with each other and we spend more than our fair share of time kissing and making out. Kason is an extremely affectionate person, more than what I would have guessed when I first met him, so I don’t doubt him when he tells me this.
After a few more steps, he takes a seat next to a palm tree and pulls me down with him so I’m sitting between his legs. I scoot and angle myself toward him, and when he threads his fingers into my hair, I slip my hand around the back of his neck and kiss him.
We kiss until our lips grow tired and then he holds me against him. A simple touch that consumes me, and I find that there’s really no place else I’d rather be than in his arms. I’ve come to know them well, and often crave them when he isn’t around.
Somehow, he’s found the hidden path straight to my soul, a path not even I was aware of. But here he is, my body absorbing him in fractions as he continues to slowly hand himself over to me, piece by piece. He isn’t one to open up quickly, but when he does, with every small bit he hands over to me, I fall that much deeper.
“I love you,” I whisper up into the stars, but he grabs hold of my words before they travel too far and gives them right back to me, saying, “I love you, too.”
We stay tucked away from everyone for as long as we can until we’re dragged back into the chaos.
“Where’s Molly?”
“She went inside with Trent,” Micah tells me.
When I leave Kason to go find my friend, I’m shocked when I see her dancing with Trent and a few girls. Girls that go to my school. Girls that have never spoken a word to me. They only stare and whisper, never outright rude, but it’s clear they have something against me. But here they are, dancing and laughing with Molly. I can’t help the tinge of insecurity that spills over me, wondering what it is about me that keeps them from wanting to talk to me.
It isn’t until dawn reaches the horizon and Molly and I crawl into bed that I find out.
“I heard something tonight that I feel like I need to tell you,” she says in the darkness of the room, and the uncertainty in her voice is apparent.
“What is it?”
She props her head on her hand, and the seriousness on her face has me worried about what it is she’s going to tell me.
“You know the girls I was dancing with? Well . . . I later overheard them talking about you.”
“What did they say?”
“Those girls are cows, just so you know.”
“Tell me what they said,” I press, anxious to know but also scared.
She stalls for a moment before revealing, “They were saying really gross things about you.”
“Tell me.”
She sighs heavily. “They were calling you a slut. Saying that the only reason Kason is with you is because you must be an easy lay.”
The chill of shock spreads through my chest. “Are you serious?”
“Apparently, the one girl, Katy . . . she and Kason . . . they’ve slept together.”
“You mean sex?” I blurt out.
She nods, and my stomach drops. I instantly feel sick. Waves of sadness crash over me, and I can’t even speak. I had asked him if I was the first girl he’s been with, but I meant it on my level, as in dated, kissed, made out with. Never did I even consider sex, so when he told me no, it was easy to accept. But to think of him being so intimate with another girl, more intimate than he is with me, it feels like a punch to my gut. My throat tightens with so much hurt as I struggle to hide it from Molly, but she knows me better.
How could he not tell me?
How could we be at the same party with her and he not even say anything?
I roll over and turn my back to her the moment I feel my eyes water, and I want to cry so badly. I want to fall apart the way my body is begging to, but I force down a painful swallow, take a deep breath, and do my very best to speak on an even tone when I say, “He already told me that I wouldn’t be his first,” even though I didn’t know that was what he meant when he said it.