Friday, June 10
Family.
We drive away from the lake in Mountain Home, Arkansas. I put my feet up on the dashboard. I’m not in pain and I haven’t had to take any medication, but Kale doesn’t want me to drive. He thinks I should relax. He’s treating me like a porcelain doll now, which is rather annoying. But I understand. I hope he gets over it soon.
I pull my list out and mark out all the things I got to do while I was in Arkansas.
2. Go cliff jumping.
32. Ride a jet ski on a lake.
“Which state are we going to next?” I ask him.
“Missouri,” he answers.
“Awesome.”
“So, how are you feeling?” he asks, glancing over at me.
“I’m fine, Kale. Stop worrying,” I say.
“I will never stop worrying about you. You’re my wife.”
“Okay. But I am fine. I promise,” I say. “I’m glad that you care enough about me to worry, Kale. I appreciate all you’re doing. I know this is a lot to ask of you. You have basically given up your life to watch me die.”
“I wouldn’t trade this time with you for anything,” he says, grabbing my hand. He keeps his left hand on the steering wheel. “I am sorry I freaked out yesterday. I guess it didn’t really seem real until then. You’re really...”
Dying.
He doesn’t have to finish the sentence.
“I know,” I say. “I felt the same way. It was the first time that I had ever felt pain.”
“I hate that you were hurting.”
“My doctor in LA told me I would probably start losing weight soon,” I tell him. “But according to the hospital scale, I’ve gained three pounds. Probably all the amazing restaurants we’ve been eating at.”
“You’ve been eating all vegan food. I can’t believe you’re still on that kick,” he says.
“For some reason, I don’t want to stop. Eating this way makes me feel better,” I tell him. “And most people would probably say screw it, and spend their last few months eating cheeseburgers and French fries, but I want to live as long as I possibly can. I’m just glad I will most likely get to see my brother’s wedding. That means a lot to me.”
“I’m glad you get to be there,” he says, squeezing my hand.
“Kale, one of the things I want to do when we get back to Idaho is plan my funeral,” I say. “And I know that I have no right to ask anything more of you, but will you go with me to the funeral home? This isn’t something I really want to do on my own.”
“Of course,” he says.
He smiles, but I can tell it’s forced.
Kale doesn’t want to talk about me dying. Or think about it.
My phone rings, for which I am grateful.
It’s my brother.
Kale pushes the answer button on the steering wheel.
“Jason, hey!” I answer.
“Hey, Juliet,” he says. “What’s up?”
“Oh, you know. Just road tripping it,” I answer.
“You didn’t upload a video yesterday,” he says. “I thought you guys were going to upload one every day. I missed seeing your adventures.”
“We will upload today,” I say. “We have some awesome footage of us in Arkansas. We just... spent all day indoors yesterday, so there wasn’t anything we could share with the internet world.”
“Gross, Juliet. I so do not want to hear about your honeymoon with my best friend,” he says.
My face grows warm.
The truth is Kale still hasn’t kissed me. There is no honeymooning going on, like, at all. Not even close.
But it’s better for him to think there is.
“Can Kale hear me?” Jason asks.
“Yeah, man,” Kale says. “What’s up?”
“Hey. Not much, just chilling with my fiancé,” he answers. “Counting down the days until I can make her my wife.”
“You could always elope like we did,” Kale says.
“Mom would kill me if I eloped, too. I don’t think her poor heart could handle it,” Jason says.
Kale and I laugh.
I feel bad that mom had to miss my wedding, but I knew I couldn’t have them there. I can’t tell them about me dying, just yet. I don’t want to tell them until I have to. I just hope I’m healthy enough during Christmas and the wedding to fake it, but I doubt it.
“So, how much longer do you guys have on this road trip?” Jason asks.
“It’ll be a while longer,” I tell him.
“Okay,” he says, sounding disappointed. “Well, I’d better let you two lovebirds go.”
“Bye, Jason. I love you,” I tell him.
“Love you too, little sis. And you too, Kale. Take care of her for me.”
“I will,” Kale says, his voice breaking a little.
The call ends, and I’m sad for all the time I’m going to miss with my brother. It breaks my heart to know that my dying is going to hurt him so bad.
I only let a few tears fall before forcing them to stop.
I have to be happy—for them. I want Kale to be able to tell them how happy I was on this trip. I know it will mean a lot to my family. And Kale. He’s family too.
3 p.m.
Branson.
We’re only in the car for an hour and a half before we arrive at our destination—Branson, Missouri.
It’s a tourist town. There are only two lanes and the traffic is almost as bad as it is in LA. Or maybe we’ve just been gone from LA for so long that I forgot what bad traffic was like. But it is a Friday and it’s summer, so probably a lot of families are on vacation. We have to stop at every single stop light a few times, but finally we arrive at our hotel. Kale checks us in and then carries in our bags. He refuses to let me help, but I know that’s not because I’m sick. He would do that, even if I was completely healthy. He’s chivalrous like that. Just like his mother taught him to be.
“Thank you, Kale,” I tell him, once all our stuff is in the room. I’ve started editing the daily vlog for him. “So, what are our plans for here?”
“Well, we are checking one item off your list tomorrow,” he says. “Also, we’re going to a theme park.”
“A theme park?”
I love roller coasters.
So does Kale.
“Silver Dollar City,” he says. “Apparently this place is famous for it.”
“Huh. Cool,” I say. “Sounds fun.”
“And after this, we are heading south again. Alabama. Just staying there for a night, and then going to Savannah, Georgia. We’ll stay there a couple of days and try do get a few more things checked off your list. From there, we will drive all the way down the coast towards Miami,” he tells me.
“I’ve always wanted to go to Miami.”
“I know,” he says. “You tried to talk your mom and dad into taking you for your tenth birthday, your thirteenth birthday, your seventeenth birthday and, most recently, your eighteenth birthday.”
I grin. “Yeah. Though, I suppose I could’ve taken myself this year. I was just too cheap. I was trying to save as much money as I could. Now, I don’t know why. I have plenty of money coming in from ad revenues. I doubt we will have to touch my savings account on this trip.”
“I’m glad you got me into making videos online,” Kale says. “If not, this trip most likely wouldn’t be possible. For one, I’d probably be in college right now.”
“Both of us. Except you’d probably be graduating soon.”
Kale went to college for two years and dropped out to devote more time to making videos. His parents were furious at the time, but the sacrifice has paid off. My own parents were pretty mad when I dropped out after one semester, but I realized I had to do what made me happy.
It’s kind of crazy to me that people like watching my videos. I don’t feel like I’m that interesting.
“A lot of people have been watching our daily vlogs,” Kale tells me, when he pulls out his laptop. “We’ve both gained a ton of followers.”
“It’s weird, right? Us just vlogging our road trip. That can’t be that exciting,” I say.
“I’m pretty sure the guys watch because you’re hot.”
I laugh. “And I’m pretty sure the girls watch because you’re hot.”
“Juliet, you think I’m hot?” Kale smirks, and it’s quite possibly the sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen.
“You know you are,” I say. “Besides, if you were ugly I wouldn’t have married you.”
He fake-gasps. “I never knew you were so vain.”
I throw a pillow at him. “Shut it, Johnson.”
“You’re Johnson, too, now, you know,” he says.
I can’t help but smile at that.
He’s right.
I like my new last name
Later that night, Kale and I go to the best Indian restaurant I have ever gone to in my life. It’s called India Clay Oven. The guy who worked there was super nice, the food was amazing and we even got free dessert. Well, Kale did. The dessert wasn’t vegan, so he got to eat it all. I was stuffed anyway.
After that, we went to ride go-karts. I beat Kale, and he swears it’s because my go-kart was faster. Really, I beat him because I’ve clearly got more skills when it comes to racing.
We laugh a lot and for a little bit; we both forget that I’m dying.
It was perfect.