Chapter Eleven

Rett

 

Why did the rain heat up as soon as Laia’s hand was in mine?

I glanced back, and Laia beamed at me, squeezing my fingers. Jerking my head back around, my shoulders lifted, and my jaws clenched. Even on a miserable, soggy day like this, who could miss the sun with Laia around? Suddenly, the rain came down harder, and I stopped, heading for the shelter of a tree.

“You shouldn’t be out in this storm,” I said.

Laia tugged on my arm. “Oh, Rett, I’m fine. Come on, let’s keep going.”

I turned back. She looked absurdly adorable in that giant slicker, her red hair framing her warm cheeks, and her eyes sparkling. I nodded and forced my gaze away.

Every time I looked at Laia now, I was searching for that blank, scared look of last night. Then getting a rush of temporary relief when I saw she recognized me. Followed by a stomach-churning terror that it could happen again, at any time, and she might not…

“You okay, big guy?”

Laia’s other hand wrapped around my wrist, then began to rub up and down along my forearm. I looked down at her hand, watching it move, and swallowed. That felt really nice. Too nice.

“Rett?”

“What?” I asked hoarsely. “I mean, yeah.”

“You’re squeezing my hand pretty hard, there,” she said, and her gaze clouded. “Listen—”

There was a distant crack of thunder, and I began walking faster. “Oh, shit—hurry.”

Laia nodded and walked next to me now, her hand still in mine, and her other hand resting on my forearm. I wanted to both get back to the house immediately, and have this walk never end.

Lightning flashed, and we both jumped. Instantly, I shook off Laia's hands and swung her into my arms, racing back to the house. Thunder shook the earth as we got to the back door, and I put her down. Wrenching open the door, I had her duck in under my arm, and I glanced back at the darkening sky. Dammit, I hoped all the boats were in. If there was a storm surge…

“Rett, come in,” Laia said and tugged on my wrist.

“Ah, right,” I said and walked in, closing the door.

“Thanks for the lift,” she said.

“Anytime,” I said and tried not to notice the narrow dimensions of the hallway or Laia’s scent or her damp, flushed skin. “I gotta take a quick shower.”

“Didn’t you just take one?” Laia asked.

“Yeah, well, hard workout,” I said and edged around her. “Not sure if rain’s enough.”

She scowled at me as I slid by. “It’s storming out.”

“I’ll be quick,” I said and backed away quickly. Between the risk of a lightning strike or doing something stupid because of our proximity, I’d take the lightning. “You should change into something warm and take your temperature.”

“Okay, nurse,” she called sarcastically as I ran down the hall.

Scrubbing off in the shower as fast as possible because I really didn’t want to get electrocuted, I futilely tried not to think of Laia.

But she was in my head, under my skin, and sending sparks through my blood.

The memory of her skin against mine, her body pressed into my bare chest…Christ.

I needed to limit our interactions for the remainder of her stay in my house or something.

Didn’t Luke try to do that with Reagan? asked a treacherous voice in my head. Guess you and Tristan shouldn’t have laughed so much at him, huh? Karma’s a real bitch.

It’s not like that, I yelled at the voice.

There was no way I could be as bad as Luke. I refused to even entertain that idea. After I was dressed, only raging hunger got my ass downstairs, though.

Laia was at the stove, dressed in an oversized sweatshirt, leggings, and fuzzy socks. My eyes strayed up her legs to her ass just as she turned around. Arranging my face into what I hoped was a cool, indifferent look, I prayed she hadn’t caught me ogling her. Again.

“Headache?” Laia asked, raising an eyebrow, and I realized I’d tensed my whole face.

“Nah, hungry,” I said, rubbing my brow. Thankfully, my stomach growled.

“No wonder, hardcore workout like that.”

Again, my face betrayed me as I smiled. “You watched the gun show?”

Laia snorted. “Sure.” She twinkled at me over her shoulder. “Like an audience, big guy?”

If it’s you.

“All right, stop smirking and get the bowls. I can’t reach,” she said and gestured at a cabinet above her. I moved closer, trying not to brush against her as I reached and grabbed two bowls. Hastily, I put them down as Laia glanced sideways at me. “Anyway, hope you don’t mind my heating up your mom’s soup. It looked so good.”

“Not at all,” I said. “And I could move those bowls to a lower shelf, you know.”

Laia gave me a mischievous smile. “Hey, don’t rearrange your life for me.”

“What if you need them, and I’m not here?” I asked.

“Guess I’ll starve,” she said seriously, and I grimaced. “Rett, relax. I’ll get a chair.”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” I said and moved away, swallowing.

Ignoring me, Laia moved around the kitchen with the energy and lightness of a dancer, considering how exhausted and snail-like she’d been up to this point. Humming to herself, she filled two bowls and carried them over to the table.

“Eat with me?” she asked and fluttered her eyelashes.

“Uh, okay,” I said and sat down.

For a few minutes, there was silence as we ate. Laia was at ease, while I was decidedly not.

But then she broke the silence, singing the praises of the soup and laughingly telling me how she’d survived on nuts and fruit like a squirrel for weeks.

“I’m surprised I didn’t turn into one,” she commented.

Laughing along, I told her about the time Tristan and I had gotten stranded out on a nearby island because of storms. Our supplies had run out, and we'd been forced to forage. Two grown men, predator shifters to boot, squatting in a cave and eating nuts. This time, Laia was almost in tears at the end of it, she was laughing so hard.

Though both of us were being careful in what we shared and asked, I had a pretty vivid image of her journey to Winfyre by the time we’d finished lunch. Then, after hearing of her exploits, her resourcefulness and humor impressed me even more. She’d outrun all kinds of Excris, bounty hunters, and Skrors. Made up all kinds of stories to get information on Tristan. Spied on Northbane shifters. Slept in trees.

That last one had me laughing, and I teased, “You really are like a squirrel woman.”

“I told you,” she retorted.

What was supposed to be a quick lunch turned into a marathon of swapping stories. It wasn’t until I looked at the time and saw three hours had passed that I realized I’d left the awkwardness, uneasiness, and worry behind. We were in a comfortable bubble now, and I didn’t want to leave it.

But a knock came at the door, and Laia leaped up to get it. It was a message for me—I had to go help Luke deal with something at the southern gates. What a shock. With great reluctance, I went and got my jacket, while Laia promised to clean up.

“You don’t have to do that,” I said as I pulled it on. “You’re still recovering. I can do it later.”

She rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall. “I think I can handle a couple dishes, Bear.” Hugging herself, she smiled at me. “Thanks for having lunch with me. You’re pretty funny when you want to be.”

Because I was forgetting to act like a Command, dammit. So much for limiting our interactions. I knew I should brush her off, create space between us…

But I didn’t want to. It had been nice to sit there with Laia, to hear her laugh and her stories.

Which was why I blurted out, “Same time, same place, tomorrow?”

Laia tilted her head and frowned, then she smiled. “Yeah. Sounds good. Or maybe I’ll see you sooner—for dinner?”

I wanted to say yes, but I had no idea how long this thing was going to take.

She nodded, sparing me from saying no.

“I get it. Busy, important Command.”

“Yeah, something like that,” I muttered.

Back out in the rain, slogging towards the gates, the rain had turned ice cold.

 

After spending several hours at the gates, I’d gotten home around midnight and had slept late. Even when I woke, it took me a good twenty minutes before I was able to move a muscle. Between the late night and the workout, I’d gone too hard yesterday.

Yet I was itching to go at it again.

Part of me knew I should maybe sleep in some more and take advantage of the fact that no one had come looking for me, but I got up and got into my workout gear. I needed the mindless repetition to drown out the clamor in my mind and the gnawing in my gut.

I slipped quietly downstairs, made a protein smoothie, downed half, and went outside. Stretching, I went for a lap through the woods, inhaling the morning air and the mist off the sea. It was cool now, as it was only eight-thirty or so, but today was promising to be clear, sunny, and hot.

Back in the yard, I started to go through my workout, telling myself to take it easy. But that gnawing, deep in my gut, had me pushing as hard as yesterday. The clamor started up in my mind.

I saw Laia’s crumpled form in the sand, her vacant stare, and her trembling lip.

The brand on her skin.

A growl escaped me, and I began to move through a series of intense interval drills: burpees, mountain climbers, and sprints. My breath was short and harsh, my ears pounding, and my skin blistering hot. If I ever got a hold of that bastard Jasper—

“Do you sleep?”

I stumbled, and there was a quick laugh that was stifled as I looked up. Laia was standing there, hands on her hips, and smiling at me.

“Yeah, of course,” I said stupidly and winced. “I’ve only been up for an hour or so.”

“Mm-hm," Laia said and gave me a once-over. It was hard not to grin. "An hour or so? So, what, you trying to raise every vein in your body or something?”

I looked down and then made a face at her. “Most women don’t complain.”

“Oh, the bear does like an audience,” Laia said. “At least charge admission.”

Leaning down, I picked up a towel and wiped off my face. “Actually, I’m pretty shy, so if you wouldn’t mind turning around…” Laia gave me a surprised look, and I laughed.

She shook her head and gave me a rueful smile. “Dammit, Deacon, you got me.”

“I know,” I said and rubbed my neck, wondering if Laia maybe found me at least a little attractive. I didn’t have Luke’s smooth charm, Tristan’s boldness, Kal’s intense iciness, or Xander’s mystery—I was just a big, tall guy trying to do his best. “No audiences, I swear.”

“Did you really think I thought that?” Laia asked.

“Well, no, but if you wanted to stick around…” I stopped and laughed. “I mean, when you’re feeling better, if you work out, not that I don’t think you work out…uh, forget it.”

I turned around and winced, hoping Laia would leave me and my idiocy in peace. Instead, she came around and gave me a funny, searching look. She was in a pair of low-hanging sweats with a loose top, and I could see a sliver of her stomach. Immediately, I went hot and had to avert my eyes. Dammit, Laia, you’re killing me here.

“I gotta finish,” I blurted out. “Talk to you later?”

“First of all, you’ve been out here for over an hour, and second of all, we have company.”

“We?” I asked and smiled at her.

“Well, you,” she said. “Seeing as you’re the only company I’ve got these days.” I chuckled as she rushed on. “Good thing, too. I think you were about to kill yourself with that workout.” Her eyes flicked over me, and that stupid grin worked itself back on my face. “Trust me, I’m not complaining, but don’t hurt yourself, Bear.”

“So, you’ve noticed,” I said in mock thoughtfulness. “Thanks.”

Her eyes darted up, and, for the first time, Laia looked self-conscious, her hands tugging down her shirt, and her cheeks flushing.

“Sh-shut up,” she said and flipped her hair back, avoiding my gaze now.

“I mean, you’re welcome to hang out here, I wouldn’t mind—”

“Rett! Hey!”

I broke off with a sigh, Bix interrupting the one time I’d flustered Laia. He charged across the grass, with Drue and Gabriel following, then pulled up short as he got closer.

“It’s that lady!” Drue said. “Hi, Laia.”

“You remembered me,” Laia said, sounding gratified. "Hi, guys."

“Hi! And of course, Auntie Reagan said you were staying with Rett,” Drue enthused, coming over to give me a hug and then stopping. “Rett, you’re all gross. Aren’t you training us today?”

“Today?” I asked, dismayed. I had things to do, and I was supposed to go into Cobalt later. “Uh…” Shoot, I had run into them the other day and had agreed to that, hadn’t I?

“You forgot?” Gabriel asked and frowned. “Man, training is so sporadic now.”

“Hey, my man, it’s the summer, and we’ve had a lot going on,” I reminded him gently. “You know we’re shorthanded with Kal and Tristan gone.”

“Kal?” Laia asked.

“My cousin,” I said. “Older, cooler. In more ways than one.” I looked back at the kids’ faces and glanced up. “I have an hour. If you don’t mind me being gross, we can train.”

“Yes!” Bix shouted. “I don’t care, and Drue, that was rude.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she argued back.

“Guys, guys, I am gross, but Drue, if we weren’t friends and I didn’t mind being gross, that wouldn’t have been very nice,” I said.

Drue nodded. “Okay, I won’t tell people they’re gross.” She looked at Laia. “Wanna train with us? It’s super fun!”

I interjected quickly, “She’s still recovering, sweetie.”

“Then you should watch,” Bix said. “It’s really cool. We’re getting really good.”

“I could do that,” Laia said.

After I ran inside to get a shirt and a blanket for Laia to sit on, I went over the training plan with the kids. We’d go through agility and speed drills, then they would practice shifting back and forth.

As they ran around the yard, I stood by Laia and explained how I used to do this with all the kids in Cobalt, but I’d been too busy lately.

“I’m trying to treat it like summer break, but it sucks,” I sighed.

“You really have a soft spot for kids, huh?” she asked.

I nodded, as memories of my pre-Rift life filtered into the back of my head. Excusing myself, so I could avoid them and help the three kids practice shifting, I jogged across the yard. Of all my kids, only these three had asked to keep up with shifter training. While adults seemed to grasp it intuitively, kids required a bit of supervision.

Granted, Bix, Drue, and Gabriel were also some of the newest kids in Winfyre, so they felt like they were behind. Which was why, when I told them we had to stop for the day and they all groaned, I crouched down and met their gazes, one by one.

“You guys know that I’ve trained a lot of kids,” I said, and they nodded. “Between just us, you guys have made some of the fastest progress I’ve seen. You’re doing great. Soon you’re gonna be better than me.” I was met with three wide grins, and then, in spite of being gross, I was tackled onto the grass as they hugged me. “Ah, Laia, help,” I called, laughing.

“Nah,” she called back.

“Traitor,” I hollered and laughed as Bix sprinkled grass on my forehead. “All right, I yield.”

At that, the three of them scrambled back and beamed at me. “Thanks, Rett,” they yelled in unison and then scampered off. I sat up and watched them go, then sighed.

Light clapping interrupted my thoughts, and I glanced over to see Laia giving me a standing ovation. I bowed my head, and she laughed.

“Better not let the ladies of Winfyre see that side, Deacon.”

“Oh, shut up,” I said and flopped back on the grass.

“Hey, I mean it,” she said, and I turned, opening my eyes and meeting hers. “If you have kids, you’re gonna be a hell of a dad.”

Throat working and heart squeezing, I murmured, “Thanks.”

“Seriously, I can’t wait to see you…” Laia trailed off and shook her head. “Ah, never mind. I think I’m gonna go in and take a nap.”

“Laia,” I called, wanting to say something, anything, to make her feel better.

She looked back and gave me a soft smile. “See you later, Rett.”

We’d both forgotten. My head fell into my hands. It had been a brief and temporary bliss, but now pain lanced through my chest as I remembered.

What could I say?