Chapter Twenty-Two

Rett

 

Pulling my arm free of Laia’s limp grasp, I tilted her face up to mine. Her eyes were haunted, and her face drawn. Terror seized my stomach and tied it into knots.

“Laia, what do you mean—what did those bastards do?”

She let out a shuddering breath. “Orion has set his sights on Winfyre, and I’ve spent the past few weeks wondering if I should’ve even come here.” Her hazel eyes, filled with anguish, met mine. “What if I’m playing into his game? Now that I’ve seen Winfyre, Cobalt, and met all the people who live here, who’ve made lives here after the Rift…” Her eyes closed, and her chin pressed down into my hand. “Could a place like this ever be a home for someone like me?”

“Someone like you?” I asked gently and brushed my fingers up her cheek. “Incredibly brave? Determined? Selfless?” Laia caught my hand, her eyes darting from side to side, and I could tell she was trying not to cry. “I think we’ve got room to spare.”

“But what if it was a mistake?”

“It wasn’t,” I said.

“Deep down, I want to agree with you, but when I think of Orion’s influence, his sway over the Bloodfang shifters…” Her eyes closed. “I want to convince myself I escaped it, but there’s no way of telling. Especially with that thing on my ankle. And the weapon in my bag.”

“You deserve to be here as much as anyone else. You risked your life to warn Winfyre.”

“It doesn’t feel like enough,” she murmured and swiped at her face, trying to look away.

“Laia.” I caught her chin and raised it again. “By now, you have paid the predator’s price tenfold. And…” I trailed off, struggling to find the right words. How could I express to her the depths of my own feelings for her, my gratitude and my admiration? “You’ve helped me. You’ve helped Winfyre. You care what happens to your people. What more could we ask?”

“Thank you,” Laia said, and she smiled up at me. “Rett, I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you or anything. God, it’s hard to keep any secrets while you’re around.”

Who cares about me? I’m scared for you, Laia.

“You have a knack for pulling me back from the brink, too, you know,” Laia continued in a more cheerful voice, trying to pull herself together. “Impeccable timing. I mean, just think about that first night we met.”

I tugged on her chin. “You mean when you got into a brawl?”

“Then passed out on you and wound up as your house guest,” she said.

As much as I wanted to return her smile, I said slowly, “Laia, I understand if you can’t talk about what happened at the Bloodfang base. I mean, there are still things…” My throat went tight, and my eyes closed, as it always did, thinking of that night. “Things I can’t talk about. After the Rift.”

“I know,” Laia said, surprising me. “That’s how you get me to blubber and confess all sorts of things. But that goes both ways. I’ve seen the darkness in your eyes.”

“We suffered losses during those months, went through shit I can’t even begin to fathom…”

“Does it have something to do with Brody Sampson?” A jolt went through me, and I nodded. “You never talk about him, and I know…he was kind of the glue of your group.”

“Yeah,” I said.

Behind my eyes, fire and thunder raged in the sky as I stood helpless, watching huge forms writhe through the clouds. Xander’s best friend, the big brother to all of us. Some days I still expected to see him come whistling down the trail, or hear his booming voice echo through the hills.

Of all the things that happened during the days after the Rift, losing Brody stood out as the starkest and most surreal.

Laia was looking at me expectantly, and I said slowly, “It happened not long after the Rift. That’s why we couldn’t leave Winfyre at first and get our families. It was such a mess. I don’t think any of us have been quite the same since that night, especially Xander. I mean, it didn’t help that the Rift affected him in a pretty intense way, and…” Brody was the one who understood that the best.

“Is that why you keep his shifted form a secret?” Laia asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.” She bit her lip. “Rett, it’s not that I don’t trust you—it’s more that…” She looked down at her leg, and I saw she was wearing knee-high socks. “Until this brand is off of me, and the weapon destroyed—I won’t be able to shake the feeling of carrying a curse into Winfyre.”

I wrapped my arm around the back of her neck, pulling her in and kissing her hair. Staying like that for several seconds, I had a sense that this was what she needed more than any words.

Even when we started walking again, I remained quiet. Suddenly, Laia let out a loud laugh.

“What?” I asked.

“You think you’re such a tough guy, and you might look the part because of the beard and the build, but you really are a teddy bear, Rett Deacon.”

I made a face. “Yes, yes, I’ve heard this a hundred times before.”

“And also…” She grabbed my hand and swung it. “If you weren’t so oblivious, you could’ve kissed me weeks ago.”

“Hey!” I protested. “I’m not oblivious.”

“Rett, I adore you, but you can be a little thick sometimes.”

“Nice,” I retorted.

“It’s part of your charm. I’m not saying you’re not smart. You’re just not as dark as you’d like everyone to think you are.” Her face twisted. “Now, your cousin Kal—he’s got a cold heart.”

“Oh, I can get cynical,” I said. “And often.”

“That’s different,” Laia demurred. “That’s just stress and life as a Command. No, you’ve got a warm heart, big bear, and I’m glad.” She smiled at me. “What’s a firecracker without fire?”

“Wow,” I said with a laugh.

“What?” she asked.

“Laia Llary, getting sappy. You really like me,” I teased.

I thought Laia would make some sassy comment or roll her eyes, but instead, her smile grew. “I really do.” Then she gave me a fierce look. “But the sappiness stays between us, Rett Deacon. We take that secret to the grave.”

“Nah, I think I’m going to announce it all over Winfyre,” I teased. “Sing it from the hills. Laia Llary likes me and is saying the most ridiculous things—” She went to pull away, and I stopped. “Okay, okay, I’ll keep it to myself.” I paused and winked. “Just like you.”

“God, you’re rubbing off on me,” she muttered.

“Exactly,” I said in satisfaction as I watched her, holding myself back from saying more.

But all I could think was how she’d filled up every corner of my heart.

 

Even in the depths of the August heat, the road along the coast was a comfortable walk, thanks to the constant sea breezes. That night, though, the temperatures plunged, and I could almost see my breath in the air. I didn’t mind, however, as Laia glued herself to my side by the fire. We’d made camp in a small clearing, and I couldn’t help but grin at the cozy tent waiting for us.

In the meantime, I was content to stay exactly like this. Laia was running her hands up and down my bare forearm, knuckles to elbow. I watched her out of the corner of my eye with amusement, and she glanced up, catching me.

“You have the sexiest forearms I’ve ever seen on a man,” Laia said.

I laughed. “What happens when I get older, and I lose my body, woman?”

“Please, you’ll still be ridiculously handsome,” she said with a sigh. “A silver bear.” She suddenly sat up straight. “Wait, you know I like you for more than your muscles, right?”

“Oh, no, I didn’t. I thought it was all physical,” I said and slid a hand down her back to graze her ass. Laia jumped and laughed. “I like how silly you get when I take my shirt off. Don’t stop.”

Laia flushed, and her head fell. “I don’t get that silly.”

“Look, even thinking about it, you do,” I said. “Even when I thought you hated me, I thought, hey, she appreciates all my hard work for Winfyre. I’ll take it.”

Laia looked at me with big eyes and a downward-curved mouth. “Aw, Rett. I was a mess. It wasn’t personal.”

“I know,” I said and sighed. “God knows why I let you into my house.”

Laia elbowed me. “Hmm, not just into your house, but your room. Your bed.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m onto your game, Deacon. You wanted to get me into your bed because you knew eventually I’d give in to your hirsute, muscle-bound charms.”

“Yes,” I said dryly. “I’ve got that kind of game.”

Snuggling against my shoulder, Laia laughed and said, “You don’t, but don’t ever change.” She closed her eyes and leaned into me even more. “Although, knowing you, you’d change for the better, and I’d like you even more, you bastard of a bear.”

On that note, grinning down at her, we fell silent and spent a very different night together in the woods, as opposed to the first time around.

 

Each passing day took on a dreamlike feel. Waking up at sunrise and watching the light fall over Laia’s sleeping face inches from mine. Waiting for her eyes to open and her lips to curve up, before she’d attack me with kisses or a pillow, laughing as I tried to fend her off or tickle her.

Finally, it would end up with Laia sitting on top of me, sparkling and squishing my face, making me laugh. She’d make all kinds of ridiculous expressions and say silly, Laia-like things.

Then we’d have breakfast, teasing each other and falling into amiable debates. Or we’d sit in comfortable silence, watching the clouds turn from the soft colors of sunrise to the bright blue-gold hues of August days.

Finally, we’d set off on a comfortable ramble down the road, stopping often to look out over the sea. Sometimes, we’d even steal down to the shore if it got too hot, wading in the water and resisting the urge to splash each other. Or we'd get sidetracked into a beautiful grove of wildflowers for the afternoon. Anything to keep that smile on Laia’s face.

All her worries seemed to have fallen away. She was filled with a buoyancy I hadn’t seen before, and laughed easily. Even better, she slept soundly through the night. No more restless dreams plaguing her, or nightmares. Nor had she had even a whiff of an amnesia attack.

One night out from Veda, I found myself a bit reluctant for this trip to end. But we were already a day behind, thanks to those detours. If Xander and the Coven hadn’t been waiting on us, I probably would’ve taken a few more. However, I didn’t want Kal to be the one to break the news to Tristan about me and Laia. God, that would be a nightmare.

The closeness of Veda had put us both in a funny mood. I was restless, and Laia was quiet, more thoughtful than she had been in days. Every so often, she’d glance at me like she had a question. Poking at the fire, wrapped in one of my sweatshirts, she caught my gaze and smiled.

“Yes, you’re very handsome, Rett Deacon,” she purred, and my heart did, too. Damn this woman—she always knew what to say to me. “You okay?”

“Yeah, but I know you’re not just lookin’ at me ’cause I’m so handsome,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Says who?” Laia said.

I swallowed, trying to keep my cool, and my pants even bulged a little. I didn’t think I’d ever get over that sultry dip in Laia’s voice when she said things like that. Or how she looked at me.

I could only imagine how I looked as I drank her in. I did have a bear of an appetite, after all.

She patted my knee and gently laughed, waking me up. “I love how you take compliments.” She placed a hand on her heart. “It’s so freakin’ adorable and sexy.”

“Compliments from a smokin’ hot woman like you?” I asked, grinning. “Hell, yeah.”

“There should be more people like you in the world,” Laia said wistfully.

“There shouldn’t. I don’t want competition,” I growled.

Laia giggled and pressed her face into my shoulder. “Ugh, that’s exactly what I mean.”

“Now tell me why you were staring at me,” I mock ordered, running a hand over her bright hair. “What’s on your mind?”

Laia pulled back, and her lips bunched together in a funny line. A tremor of nerves went through me, and I arranged my face into a gruff mask, hoping I looked grave and prepared. Now she looked downright nervous and twisted her hands into her hair.

“Um…”

“Laia, come on, you’re killin’ me here,” I said.

“I wanted to ask you about your life before the Rift.” Laia’s voice was barely above a whisper. “To get to know you better. But I’m not sure it’s fair since I haven’t exactly shared everything…”

Staring at her, I went to speak and stopped.

“Sorry, you don’t have to tell me,” she said, and her hands became agitated. “I don’t mean to pry. I was only curious, because…well, of how you are with kids. But it’s not my place. It’s fine.”

“Not your place? What?” A huge laugh escaped me, and I squeezed her to my side, as Laia gave me a surprised look. “That’s it?” She nodded. “Damn, I thought you wanted to ask me to take a break or something.”

“A break from what? Walking?” Laia frowned. “Don’t we have to be in Veda tomorrow?”

I gave her a small smile. “No, like a break from this,” I said and waved between us.

Laia gasped and grabbed my hand. “No.” She shook her head emphatically. “Rett, no. I l-like this…” She suddenly flung her arms around my torso. “No, I never…you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

I’m surprised the stars didn’t all implode or fall down from the jolt of energy that went through me. It spiraled bigger and bigger, filling me up, and I held Laia close, inhaling her scent. Remembering the softness of her skin, the music of her laughter, and her fierce strength.

I’d thought I was in love with this woman when I’d first laid eyes on her—but that had nothing on this moment. Nor, I imagined, would this moment have anything on tomorrow. Or the day after, never mind ten years from now. Maybe even a hundred years from now.

“You’re the most unexpected thing to ever happen to me,” I admitted, and she let out a wet laugh. “Laia, I…” I hesitated. Was it too soon? Would I scare her off? I’d always been a patient man, or at least more patient than my friends, but with Laia, I found myself hurtling face-first off cliffs.

I should wait. This should be magical, for her. Plus, with the brand…

“I wasn’t trying to make you feel insecure or make you worry that I thought you weren’t appropriately receptive,” I said, my voice dropping to suggestive notes on those last words. But Laia clung on more tightly. I laughed. “I know what I want. But you’ve been through a lot, and I don’t want to ever make you feel like you have to accommodate me, I guess. If you needed space, I would wait.”

“You aren’t real, are you?” Laia muttered. “God’s gift to womankind, and you’re mine.”

“You’re going to destroy any humility I might have had,” I said.

“You shouldn’t be humble,” Laia said in a fierce voice and rubbed her nose on my sternum.

We fell silent, and I thought about her question about my pre-Rift life. The dreams and plans I’d once had. After the space of two years, it now felt like another life. Sitting there with Laia, I realized that the ugly feelings I had about the Rift had started to fade away. Or maybe they were scarring over—leaving their mark, but healed for the most part.

It was Laia.

Laia had helped me realize that I’d gained a hell of a lot more than I’d lost.

And now, I had her.

“Hey, Rett?” she asked and pulled back, looking at me.

“Mm? Yeah, what is it?” I asked and touched her cheek absently. Her eyes were almost silver in the wavering light of the fire.

“What is it you want?”

A smile tugged up into my cheek, and I brushed back Laia’s hair, then slid my fingers down her neck, watching her shiver. “You don’t know?”

Laia shrugged and shook her head, but, at the same time, bit her lip. Deep down, she knew.

I blew out the word on a single, joyful exhale of breath.

“You.”