Chapter Twenty-One

Laia

 

Humming to myself, I stood in front of the kitchen windows and watched as the stars in the western sky faded with the morning light.

Rett was upstairs, showering. Sadly, alone. It had been my call, though he’d kissed my neck for a good five minutes and tried to persuade me otherwise.

However, if we indulged in that again, we’d never leave the house. Never get to Veda.

Nerves churned in my stomach, and I folded my arms across my stomach, taking a deep breath. Veda loomed larger than life in my mind. Everything was there. My family. A possible cure.

And after? I glanced around with a smile and closed my eyes.

More of this.

Waking up to Rett's grin, the spark in his eyes as he leaned in to kiss me, the soft way he murmured my name, or bit it out between his teeth.

Mm. I like that second one more, I think.

I should’ve been packing, but instead, I was lingering, holding an empty coffee mug and wishing I didn’t have to leave this house. In spite of all my feral squirrel jokes, before the Rift, I’d preferred a stable home base. Something to center all the chaos.

Rett’s become that, I thought, and smiled.

There was a heavy creak of floorboards under a big, sturdy body, and I turned, smiling. Then I gasped and pressed myself back against the window.

This big guy was not my big guy.

The huge shifter loomed in the doorway and stopped, surprised. He rested his hands on the top of the doorframe as his eyes flashed over me. He was like the inverse of Rett, with his ice-blond hair and beard. Where Rett’s eyes were a light sky blue, this man’s eyes were dark, stormy gray. Those eyes met mine again, and his lip curled as he stepped into the kitchen.

I got a hold of myself. It was the shock of not seeing Rett that had me acting like a damsel in distress. Good thing I was dressed, even if I was wearing thin cotton shorts and one of Rett's flannel shirts over a camisole. My fingers tightened on the mug, and I stiffened my spine.

We glared at each other for a moment.

“Nothin’ worth stealin’ in this house, red,” he growled.

“Excuse me?” I barked and brandished the mug. “Who the hell are you?”

“Could ask you the same question,” he said. “Where’d you get that shirt? Where’s Rett?”

“I’m not tellin’ you jack shit till you tell me who the hell you are!”

“Is he even here? You squatting while he’s off in Veda?”

“I’m not a damn thief, you bastard,” I snarled.

“That sure as hell ain’t your shirt.”

At that, I snapped. The mug sang through the air towards his head, but he caught it easily.

Looking at it, then me, he raised an eyebrow and asked. “Do I know you?”

“Whoa, whoa, what—” Rett came running into the kitchen in a pair of pants, his wet hair dripping on his shoulders, and his face wild. His eyes immediately went to me. “Laia, you okay? I heard—” He then did a double take at the other man. “Kal?”

“Kallen Deacon?” I asked.

The blond man nodded and gave me a fleeting smirk. I bristled. Jackass.

“Yeah,” Rett said and glanced between us, rubbing his hand over his head. “Uh, what are you doing here, cuz?”

“I could ask you the same question. I thought you’d left already,” Kal said and tossed the mug in the air. A small smile formed on his face. “Sorry, red, didn’t know you two were acquainted.”

“Name’s Laia,” I said stiffly and folded my arms.

“Kal, what the hell?” Rett hissed. “You can’t barge into my house. I-I told the family that.”

“You did?” I asked. Aw.

“Yeah, I asked everyone to start knocking and not just march in,” Rett muttered.

“Just got back,” Kal said and leaned against the counter, looking at us. “You’re the first Deacon I’ve seen. I didn’t think I’d catch you, but I thought I’d try.” His gray eyes bored into me. “You’re a Llary, aren’t you? That’s why you threw a mug at my head.”

“She—you what?” Rett asked and turned to me.

I glared at Rett’s cousin. “Yes,” I said. “But that stays between the Commands for now.”

“Throwing a mug at my head?” Kal asked.

“My name, jackass,” I snapped.

Kal grinned and looked at Rett, shaking his head. “Tristan is gonna love this.”

“You threw a mug at him?” Rett interjected and jerked a thumb at his cousin.

“He thought I broke in,” I said, still outraged. “And stole your shirt. Like I’d steal this shirt and not something else. Not that it’s not a nice shirt, babe.”

The little name slipped out, and Kal let out a snort, while Rett flushed.

“Leave him alone!” I burst out. “What the hell is your problem?”

“Forgive me—Rett might be a flirt, but he’s never been much of a ladykiller,” Kal said and smothered a grin as I glared at him while he gazed at Rett. “Another claim, another heart?”

At his sardonic tone, I started forward, but Rett caught me and said, “Easy, firecracker. And yeah, we’re together. You guys can laugh all you want—I don’t care.”

“You found your mate,” Kal said with a shrug, and I sucked in a breath, cheeks flaming. Goddammit, we hadn’t even talked about that. “I wouldn’t laugh at that.” He gestured between us. “But this, this is kind of funny. I’m glad you found someone so bold, cousin. It’s perfect.”

So Kal is a pretty quick read, I thought, grumpily impressed. “Sorry I threw a mug at your head,” I said, trying to smooth out the sour note in my voice.

“You’ve got decent aim,” Kal replied. “And a pretty powerful throw.”

I forced myself not to roll my eyes while Rett walked over and took Kal by the shoulders. “I’m glad you’re back,” he said. “Everything okay?”

Kal gave him the quickest smile in the universe. It made him look human for a second. “Good to be back. And yeah, sure.”

“Breakfast?” Rett asked, and his nose wrinkled. “Or a shower?”

“I’m going home after this, so thank you, but no,” Kal said, and Rett stepped back, pretending to waft away fumes. “Hilarious. Speaking of asinine jokes, Tristan is in Veda.”

My heart leaped, and Rett turned, beaming at me, then looked at Kal. “Really?”

“Yes, idiot, that’s why I came to see you. He had some trouble out in the Tiselk and is recovering. All the Commands are converging there in a week and a half to discuss it."

“That’s why he wasn’t checking in,” Rett said thoughtfully.

“Along with forgetting to,” Kal said dryly, and Rett laughed. “It wasn’t funny. I had to go nearly fifty miles out of my way to make sure he was okay.”

“Thank you,” I spoke up. “I’ve been looking for my cousin for months.” I tucked my hair behind my ears. “Um, does he know I’m in Winfyre?”

“I thought you weren’t telling your family you were here,” Kal said.

“Tristan is a special case,” Rett spoke up.

“If you say so,” Kal said, and I prickled at his skeptical tone. What the hell did he have to be skeptical about? "All I meant was when it comes to family, Tristan lacks his usual finesse."

“Ah, that is true,” Rett commented.

I nodded, a little troubled by that point. I hadn’t thought of how Tristan might insist on my seeing the family, even holding it over me in exchange for his help. Well, I’d worry about it later.

Relief filled me as I watched the two Deacon cousins.

Finally, Tristan was home.

 

In spite of the unexpected appearance of Kal, Rett and I were on our way to Veda by nine a.m. Instead of walking the long loop around the bay to get to the coastal trail, we’d taken a boat, and it had skimmed across the clear, sparkling water, the sea spray making the ends of my hair curl.

As we disembarked now, I felt a bit melancholy. I could barely see the other side of the bay, with Cobalt and Rett’s house hidden in the thick trees. Turning north, we struck out.

“You know, Reagan and Luke had to come up this way not long ago,” Rett said.

“Really?” I asked, picturing the wolf shifter and Riftborn arm in arm, laughing together.

“Yeah, but they weren’t together then. So, it was kind of a tense trip at first, because they were giving each other the mutual silent treatment," Rett said with a laugh. "But anyone with eyes could tell that Luke was smitten. Reagan was a harder read until she started getting nosy."

“Nosy?”

“Askin’ about Luke,” Rett said with a laugh.

“You sound happy for them,” I said.

“Well, yeah, Luke had a lot of Rift demons. Not Excris—the other kind.” Rett tapped his head. “I mean, we all do, but those two together, they helped each other. I thought it was nice.” He glanced at me and smiled. “And it is.”

"Aw, thanks, but we don't want to ruin this beautiful morning by dragging the past into it, do we?" I asked, a sliver of panic lodging in my chest. "Rett, I told you, I need…"

“There’s something I need to tell you, Laia,” he said quietly, and I glanced over at him. “When Kal said that thing about Tristan ‘loving it’ this morning…he meant that Tristan probably won’t be happy.”

“Of course he will,” I said. “You’re his best friend, and I’m like his sister. He’ll be thrilled.”

“I know you’re like a sister to him, Laia,” Rett said, and his face fell. “Do you remember how I told you that Tristan and I would go out looking for you?” I nodded. “We went almost every month, like clockwork. Trying to find out what had happened to you.”

“What?” I asked and stopped, catching his wrist. “Rett. Wait, since the Rift? Every month?”

“Whenever we got a spare weekend, we’d take those days and go out looking for you.”

“But…”

The Bloodfang said no one was looking for me. That I was forgotten.

My eyes closed. How could I have believed them? How could I have doubted Tristan?

“It’s my fault.”

I jumped at Rett’s voice, opening my eyes onto his miserable face. “Your fault?” I echoed.

“A few months after the Rift, once Winfyre was secure…Luke, Tristan, and I went south to get our families. Luke split off from us in, um…” I frowned, trying to recall the name. “A Fallen city. That’s a long story. But Tristan and I, we had to make a choice. Llarys or Deacons.” Rett’s hands found my shoulders. “I asked if we could go to my family first, and he said yes.”

“Probably because he was happy to, Rett,” I said. “Besides Fallon, how many of your family would know how to defend themselves? Llarys are scrappy. We’re fighters.”

“I know that,” Rett said. “But by the time we got to your family, you’d been missing for a week, and we couldn’t stay to search for you. Luke was in danger, and…God, Laia, I’m sorry.”

"I went missing to throw the Stasis Bureau off my trail," I said. "I was a freedom fighter, a rebel, trying to get shifters out of those prisons." I put a hand on my stomach. "My letter never made it. Oh, my God. All this time, and I never thought of that."

“Letter?”

“I sent word to my family to go along without me, that I’d follow,” I said and reached out, fiddling with his shirt. “Here, do you want to sit?”

“No, we should keep walking,” Rett said. “Unless you want to stop.”

“No, come on,” I said and tucked his arm with mine. Rett gave me a goofy grin, and I shook my head. “Such a strange bear.”

“Tell me what happened,” Rett said.

“I didn’t want anyone looking for me—I didn’t want attention or to be found,” I said. “We were moving quickly, from place to place, hitting SB buildings, getting shifters out, and sending them to the North.” I blew out a breath, remembering the cycle of chaos that had been those days. “My friend Jasper—his whole family got taken, and then I found out they’d been killed.”

Rett pulled in a breath and shook his head. “God, those days were awful.”

‘Yeah, it makes you appreciate what we have now,” I said and looked around, at the peaceful forest, the warm sunshine, and the arch of blue sky. “I heard Jasper was spared the treatment. His family’s deaths were ruled an accident.” Rett snorted, and I nodded. “Yeah, like that wasn’t one we’d heard before. I also heard Jasper was in bad shape, and we made a plan to get him. It worked.”

“How bad of shape?”

“I didn’t realize how bad until it was too late,” I said. “Jasper, the Jasper I knew—he did die in those prisons.” Pressing my cheek to Rett’s bicep, I sighed and squeezed his arm. “At that point, a group of us split off from the others. The plan was to get Jasper and other hurt shifters to Winfyre.”

I could almost taste the anxiety that had edged those days again, hear Jasper’s terse replies and see his vacant stares. Feel the burn of the cold wind as we snuck through the mountains.

“This was maybe ten or so months after the Rift,” I said. “Things were dangerous, and Winfyre was nothing but a whisper. It was hard going—we had to sneak from safe house to safe house, spending countless nights in the woods. Then we got to Bloodfang, and Jasper got ill.

“The others went on ahead. Jasper and I stayed. I didn’t want to, but he had a bad cold. I thought we’d be there a week. But then he met Orion, and suddenly he wanted to stick around. It was the first time he’d shown interest, the first time I’d seen a glimmer of the man I knew.”

My head tipped back, and I stared up at the sky, not seeing it.

“I wanted him to get well so badly, I was blind to what he’d become. His pain was magnified and bled out of him in the Bloodfang. That’s why they have that awful name. It’s about the blood they bleed for the fang, for the shifter—themselves and their brethren. Orion, once he realized he had a white lion Alpha in his midst—well, he wasn’t going to let Jasper go.”

“Why didn’t you leave?” Rett asked, and I heard the edge in his voice.

“Well, I didn’t know my mate was in Winfyre,” I said, and Rett let out a soft laugh. “And I didn’t want to leave my friend behind. I thought it was a phase. Plus, some of my other rebel friends were there. Orion kept saying it would be safer in the spring, then the summer, and so on.”

“I wasn’t blaming you, Laia,” Rett said. “I was curious.”

“If you’re wondering if I had feelings for Jasper, I didn’t,” I said. “He was why I stayed at first. But three months in, I was ready to go.” A tight knot formed in my throat. “Then I found out about those weapons. The augris.”

“The new kind of Excris?” Rett asked with a sigh, and I nodded.

“Yes, and then I was glad I hadn’t left yet. I needed to stay and find out what the Bloodfang were up to. I began to see Skrors and hear strange rumors about the Northern Wilds. My instincts were in disarray. I knew it would be safer for me to go, and I knew as Tristan’s cousin I was in danger living with his enemies, but I had to find out the truth.”

“They spoke of the Northbane?” Rett asked quietly.

“Yes,” I said heavily, and now I stopped, hugging his arm and pressing my face into it. “Rett, this is why it’s not your fault. It was mine. I was naïve about the Rift, riding high on screwing over the SB and my gifts as a shifter—I ignored the dark side of it. I was blind to Jasper’s pain, his rage.”

“What do you mean?” Rett asked, and he put his other hand on my head. “Laia.”

Breathing hard, I adjusted the backpack, thinking of what lay in the bottom. Now that I’d had weeks to think about it without running, a theory had been forming in my mind.

I’d been wondering if I’d been meant to end up in Winfyre all along.

In a low and choked voice, I said, “I think I became Orion’s unwitting pawn.”