Chapter Ten

Laia

 

Fiddling with my shirt, I stared at myself in the mirror and let out another unsteady breath. I had been doing this for the last ten minutes, fearful I would look up and not recognize myself.

Yesterday had been the worst episode yet. The skin on my leg prickled and itched, as though sensing how much I wished I could cut it off. I sank down on the side of the bed and looked around. How could I have been so stupid? The last thing I’d wanted was for Rett or anyone else to know about the brand and the effects it had on me.

Restlessness was rapidly replacing the weakness in my body. Staying in the same place for more than a few days was a novelty. Being in the same place with someone so grounded, honorable, and kind, no matter how gruff he tried to act, was mind-boggling.

Initially, I’d been pretty pissed at Rett's rage. But after Xander called him out, my temper had cooled, and all that was left was a vague embarrassment. One that had gotten worse with each passing hour. Now, come morning, it threatened to drown me.

I hated the idea that Rett was worried about me. That he cared.

I’d hurt enough people. I didn’t need to add him to the list.

But I couldn’t deny that in that brief moment where I’d lost myself, Rett had been the one to find me and reassure me. I’d felt safe in a way I’d never known.

After I’d been injured by Jasper, and the brand had been sealed on my ankle by an augris, the episodes had started. Brief and random at first, I’d thought they were a result of the stress of my captivity. Of being locked in an opulent room with a row of unlocked windows just out of reach, mocking me.

Then, once I’d escaped, I’d had one that had lasted for over a minute, then two, then three.

Each time was a little longer, and I’d feel the flicker of the animal, the driving desire to shift.

Cold, snarling fear went through me, and my head bowed. As long as no one had known about it but me, I’d been able to ignore it. That, and I’d told myself it would go away in Winfyre.

Now, it was like there was an invisible clock clicking down to the total loss of myself.

A tear fell onto my lap, and I swiped at it angrily. The least I could do with my remaining days was take down Jasper and Orion, those smug bastards.

Getting up, I went down the bright hallway and down into the kitchen. My strength was returning to me, and I felt none of the shakiness of yesterday. Rett's house gleamed in the sunlight, all warm wood and clean corners. I heard laughter in the kitchen and paused.

It seemed like a part of this house, while I hovered like an unwelcome ghost in the hallway.

A woman poked her head out of the kitchen doorway and smiled when she saw me. "Hi there, Laia. Come on in, don't be shy." She had Rett's bright blue eyes and height, only she was lean with short blonde hair. "I'm Fallon." Walking in, I saw more blonde and black heads of hair, all of them tall with bright eyes. "Meet the Deacon ladies."

“You’re awake,” said a woman with a lilting, faded accent under her words. She was tall and robust, with apple-red cheeks and dark, curly hair. “It’s so nice to see you, Laia. I’m Ellie Deacon, Rett’s mother.” She squeezed my shoulders and guided me over to the table. “Sit.”

The other women followed, clustering around and finding seats, chatting. This was followed by more introductions. I met Rett’s two younger sisters, Callie and Maddie, both with dark hair and bright blue eyes. I also met his cousins, an ice-blonde named Corinna, who was effortlessly cool, and a miniature version of her, a younger girl named Charlotte who was jolly and clumsy. Their mother was a sweet, reserved woman named Lily.

While the Deacons were bubbly and talkative, they didn’t pry. In fact, they were extremely considerate and warm. They were there to drop off supplies and some food for Rett.

“I know he’s a grown man, but I still like to cook for him,” Ellie sighed. “Even though I know I should be handling all those manifests and checking in with Sandy about the shortages.”

My ears pricked up at that, but I didn’t press, and the conversation ebbed away, turning to gossip and good deals in town, as well as Reagan and Luke’s wedding.

“All thanks to our fierce Fallon for braving the South,” Corinna said.

Fallon grinned lazily. “Who knew I’d be able to wield yet another thing over Luke’s head?”

“Oh, you leave him alone,” Ellie scolded. “I remember you all at Camp Micousha as kids, always competing like maniacs. Who cares who can run faster?”

“Me,” Fallon said, and her cousins laughed.

“Micousha.” I knew that name. “Tristan went there,” I said and looked around at them. “I totally forgot about that. I think a few of my other cousins did, too.”

The camp had been an adventure and sports sleepaway program in Northern California, not far from where we lived. I’d forgotten that that was where Tristan had met Rett and his other friends initially. They’d always kept in touch over the years, and then had signed up for the service together.

Fallon nodded. “Oh, yes, the camp prankster. No one could quite drive the counselors up a tree or make them beg for mercy like Tristan.”

“I got more calls about him and Rett than all the rest of you combined,” Ellie said with a reminiscent laugh.

"That's because we had no interest in trying to create Bigfoot tracks, or stealing all the whipped cream cans, or going streaking during story hour," Corinna said, and she shook her head. "Honestly, though, he was the best part.”

“You never went, right?” Maddie asked me.

I shook my head. “I never wanted to go. But I was pretty envious of Tristan and his stories.” My heart squeezed. God, I missed him. “He used to beg me to go.”

“Well, Winfyre is like a Micousha reunion in some ways,” Corinna said, and her mother gave her a look. “What, am I wrong?”

“We owe Tristan a lot,” Fallon said out of nowhere. “I hope he gets back soon.”

The squeezing got worse. “Me too,” I said and flicked my eyes around. “Where’s Rett?”

“Out back, working out,” Fallon said. “He’s in a mood, so we let him be.” She sighed and stood up. “As much as I hate to leave you all, I have to go.” Callie, Maddie, and Charlotte flew to her, hugging her tight. “Vixen duties never end—you know that.”

I started. Had Rett mentioned that his sister was in charge of the Vixens? I’d heard of them while I was traveling, the elite female fighters of the Northbane. I looked again at Fallon, at her calm and capable demeanor, and her sculpted arms and body. Damn, the Deacons had some good genes. I would have killed to not be built like a semi-toned cinnamon roll.

After Fallon bid everyone goodbye, Corinna, Charlotte, and Lily left shortly after. Ellie and Rett’s younger sisters cleaned up. It turned out they had work to do as well, but again they impressed on me how they liked to stop by and make sure Rett was okay from time to time.

“How often is that?” I asked with a grin.

“Oh, maybe twice a week or so,” Ellie said with a matching grin. “He’s always telling us to stop, that we have enough to do, but anything we can do to help him, helps Winfyre, you know?”

“Sure,” I said, feeling even more like a useless lump gobbling up Rett’s precious time.

Once his mother and sisters had gone, I walked around the house and tried to find something to do. Sitting around, even reading, wasn’t enough. I wished it wasn’t raining so I could at least go outside. My eyes went wide. Oh shit, had I left that blanket and book at the beach?

Hurrying into the hall, I found a closet and rummaged through it until I found a massive rain slicker. Securing it and donning a hat, I found my boots by the door and pulled those on. They chafed at my bare feet, but I did not feel like running upstairs for socks. I wanted to get this over with before Rett came back.

Using the back door, I cast an eye around for the shed but saw nothing but trees. Peering around the corner of the house, I stopped and sucked in a hard breath.

Rett was home.

Shirtless. Doing lunges across the lawn. With two tree stumps propped on his shoulders.

Dark hair fell into Rett’s face, and the rainwater traced over his tanned skin. Now I could see the extent of his tattoo, wrapping up his arm, over his shoulder, and across his chest. A ridged scar arced from his sternum and across his ribs, almost glowing silver. His huge legs bunched with muscles as he worked, and his hard breaths were so loud, it was like they were moving across my skin. His face was set in hard lines, eyes burning, and I couldn't stop watching.

He turned around, and my hands fisted in the slicker. That’s a nice view, too.

When Rett had crossed the backyard, he simply dropped the logs as though they weighed nothing. He stretched, rolling his neck and rotating his torso. Then he stopped moving, standing there and letting the rain rush over him. His hands found his face, and he dragged them up, into his hair. He gripped it and let out a soft, frustrated sound.

That snapped me out of spying, and I ducked around the house, praying the rain hid my scent. This was the last thing I needed to add to the awkward mountain growing between us.

However, I also couldn’t quite find it in myself to regret taking a good, long look.

Biting my lip to hide a smile, I slunk down to the trees and found the path from yesterday. It was even steeper and more knotted than I remembered. The gushing water didn’t help, and I had several near-misses as the hood slipped over my eyes, and I had to grab nearby trees. By the time I got to the beach, my shoes and pants were soaked.

Shoulda put on shorts. No point in hiding the brand anymore.

Scrabbling around, I saw that the blanket, book, and everything else was gone. Damn, Rett must have grabbed them. I hadn’t even thought to ask.

Pushing back the crinkling hood, I lifted my face and looked at the gray mists hanging over the bay. The rain rushed from the sky, shattering the surface of the lake and obscuring the distant mountains. Despite what had happened yesterday, I still liked this spot.

Maybe if something does happen to me, they could…

I shook my head and dispelled that grim thought. I wasn’t going there today.

There was a crash of branches from behind me, and I jumped, stumbling towards the water, thinking a tree had fallen. Instead, a massive figure landed in a crouch in front of me and slowly rose to his feet, face twisting with rage.

“Guess it’s true what they say about poking the bear,” I said before I could stop myself.

“You think this is funny?” Rett asked and clenched his big fists. “Seriously, Llary, what the hell is wrong with you? Why are you back down here?”

“I thought I left stuff down here, and it was raining…” I said lamely.

“I grabbed that last night when I carried your ass home,” Rett growled.

“I, uh…I’m sorry,” I said and nibbled the inside of my cheek, trying really hard to focus on his face.

But my eyes kept dipping down to that broad chest, trying to take in those tattoos and pounds of muscle. Water was racing down his skin, and I swear I thought I saw steam rising off of him. I’d never really been around a big, ripped guy like this, and my heart fluttered.

Except for my cousin, and, ew, that didn’t count.

“We should go back,” Rett said a few moments later.

Something fluttered in my stomach, and it took me a few moments to realize that Rett seemed distracted as well. He kept flicking his gaze across my face, and a warm burst went through me. But no, Rett couldn’t possibly think I looked good in an oversized rain slicker.

Needing to distract myself, I said quickly, “I love this place. Did you know about it?”

“Yeah, of course,” Rett said and folded his arms. His shoulders bulged, and I swear I almost squealed. “This was my secret cove. Of course, you found it on the first day.”

“I mean, I probably won’t be coming back,” I said.

Rett’s face darkened alarmingly. “Don’t say shit like that.”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean…” Or had I? “Crappy joke, I guess.” He was still glowering at me, and the embarrassment from last night surged back through me. “We should go.”

He didn’t move, only looked away and ran a hand through his hair. My mouth went dry, and my face flamed. Dear God, he could probably smell the lust on me. I didn’t look away, though.

“Laia, you can’t give up hope,” he said. “Please. Tristan and me, we looked for you.” My eyes went wide as he looked at me again, a miserable expression on his face. “You can’t succumb to that stupid thing after finally making it home.”

“I’m trying not to,” I said softly. “I’m scared, though. It’s like it’s eating away at me.”

Rett held out a hand. “Come on, Llarys don’t go down so easily.”

“Yeah, I have to imagine we’re tough chewing,” I said and lightly slapped his fingers.

But he caught my hand and towed me back toward the trees. “I don’t want you slippin’.”

My heart warmed as hotly as my face. “I mean, that’s okay, I can…”

“It’s this, or I carry you, Llary,” he threatened over his shoulder with a small smile.

I smiled back, resisting the urge to yank away my hand so he could make good on it.

Instead, I focused on every moment that I got to hold on to Rett. Because whether he wanted to admit it or not, our time together was ending sooner rather than later.