Chapter Thirty

Rett

 

“What is taking so long?” I snarled softly, pacing up and down the yard in front of the Coven’s building. It was a large warehouse, and usually accessible only to Coven members. Even the Northbane Command, save for Xander or under extreme circumstances, weren’t allowed inside, except in specific areas. Something about delicate equipment and lumbering oafs.

That, and Beylore always got her way with Xander.

Tristan was sitting on the steps, staring down across the rolling hills to the ocean. The waves were roaring in the aftermath of yesterday's storm, and the wind gusted by us, shaking the trees. A storm that had lasted all night while we’d roamed the woods, searching for Laia.

It had been a hellish passage of hours, probably the worst of my life.

Until Tristan found Laia, and had to come tell me she’d forgotten everything.

Tristan roused himself and gave me a half-hearted grin. “Try to breathe, Deaks, please. I can’t handle another Luke.”

“I just don’t understand why they can’t give us some sort of update,” I said and raked my hands through my hair. “You said—the brand, it had spread? Up her arms and around her neck?”

“Rett, how many times do we have to go through this?” Tristan asked, his voice sharper than I’d ever heard it. “Yes. Shut up, and let the Coven do their damn work.”

“I’m sorry,” I said roughly, and Tristan shook his head. “If I hadn’t gone back for Jasper—”

“She’d probably be dead,” Tristan said. “I think you saved them both.”

Or saved the man who tried to forcibly bind Laia to him in the hopes that she’d fall in love.

“Still, I keep failing you, brother, when it comes to her,” I said, and Tristan gave me a flat look. With a groan, I came over and slumped down next to him. “I never apologized for that.”

“For helping me look for Laia for the past two years?” Tristan asked.

“For asking you to put my family over yours when we went back for them,” I said.

“Jesus, Rett,” Tristan said, and he stood up, his face etched with deep lines of rage. “You didn’t do that. Even if we had gotten there a week or so earlier, there’s no telling if Laia would’ve come with us. She was her own person—it was her decision to go off and help the freedom fighters. Besides, if you’ll remember, I only helped you to ask me to look for her when she fell off the radar."

I drew back in surprise. “What? I didn’t know that.”

“Deacons—never listen to a damn word you say,” Tristan muttered.

Ruminating, I shook my head. “It’s so strange. I really don’t remember—”

Tristan cut me off. “Just shut up and listen now, then. Rett, I don’t regret going to help your family first. You guys had young children and elderly. The Llarys had plenty of strapping young shifters. They’ve always held their own.” He looked up at the house. “Please stop blaming yourself. It only causes this awkward tension between us, and I’m too tired to deal with it.”

“All right,” I said gruffly. “Uh, thanks.”

Sitting back down, Tristan heaved a sigh. “It’s going to be okay. Laia’s strong.”

“I know,” I said, and my throat worked. I just feel hollowed out—like I’m missing something…

And it’s her.

I should tell him now. It’s only right.

But I couldn’t get the words out.

Tristan, Laia is my mate, and I love her. Whether she remembers me or not, I’m not going to leave her side. She can stay with me, and I’ll take care of her. I mean, if your family lets me.

“I’m glad she’s been with you,” Tristan said, and the knot in my stomach worsened. “I hope she didn’t drive you too insane.”

“I wasn’t bored,” I said in a strained voice. “She lit up the whole house.”

“Not literally, I hope,” Tristan said dryly.

I shook my head and dropped it, trying to will myself to admit to Tristan what had happened. What I felt for his cousin. Why I was losing my mind out here with each passing minute.

“Oh, look who’s here—the lynx and the lemon bear,” Tristan said.

I looked up and saw that Fallon and Kal had appeared over the crest of the hill. Fallon rushed forward, her face worried and her hands out. We both stood up, and she hugged us.

“Still nothing?” she asked, and we nodded. “Oh, I’m so sorry. How’re you holding up?”

I shrugged, and Tristan held up his hands. “Not the reunion I was hoping for, but…”

“Have you seen her?” Fallon asked me, and I shook my head. “Why not? Maybe it will help.”

“I mean, she didn’t recognize me,” Tristan said. “Why would she recognize Rett?”

“Yes, why would she?” Kal asked as he sauntered up and shot me a small grin. He thrust his hands into his pockets. "Still, there's a chance Rett might have more luck, so long as the bond is somewhat in place."

I cleared my throat and shot him a look. Kal raised an eyebrow, while Fallon gave me a disbelieving look. I shot one back that said, Keep your mouth shut.

“Bond?” Tristan asked. “You mean claim.”

“Right,” Kal said, his face not moving a muscle, while Fallon glared at me.

“Yeah, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve all done for Laia,” Tristan said.

“Don’t look at me,” Kal said, and a smile flickered on his face. “All Rett.”

“All Rett,” Fallon echoed.

“No worries,” I said, wondering if I was going to throw up. “Happy to help.”

“Rett,” Fallon growled.

“Shoot me if it happens to me,” Kal said to my sister. “I’m begging you.”

“I’d love to meet the woman who could melt your heart, ice bear,” Fallon retorted. “I’d want to be her best friend.”

“Not gonna happen,” Kal said.

“Never say never,” Tristan said with a mischievous smile. “Didn’t Rett and I say that?”

I stared at him. “What?”

Kal gave me a look. “You could never quite get the Deacon poker face down, Rett.”

“Tristan, I, uh, could we…” Now everyone was staring at me. “That is…”

“Jesus,” Kal muttered and rubbed his forehead. “Please just spit it out.”

“Now I’m embarrassed,” Fallon said.

“Okay, stop. Leave him alone,” Tristan said. “He’s been working up the courage to tell me.” A huge, diabolical grin spread across Tristan’s face as I spluttered. “Rett, come on, we’ve known each other since we were kids.” Now I just gaped at him. “I know.”

“You do?” Fallon asked.

“Yes,” Tristan said. “It’s all over your face. Rett and Laia, sittin’ in a tree…”

“What the shit, dude—you’ve just been letting me twist in the wind, then?” I asked and lightly punched him. “Brutal.”

“Couldn’t resist,” Tristan said. “Needed something to keep my mind occupied.” He gripped my shoulder. “Why do you think I always wanted to introduce you two?”

“Let’s hope that doesn’t actually come to pass,” Kal remarked, and Fallon elbowed him.

“Commands, Lady Vixen,” said a husky voice.

We all turned and inclined our heads toward the dark-skinned, silver-haired woman with dark green eyes who’d appeared at the top of the steps. Beylore, the head of the Coven.

“Thank you for waiting and not charging inside.” She came down the steps, her poise regal, and her head held high. As usual, she was wearing loose pants and a short, cropped top that flaunted a muscular core with a sparkling belly button stud. “Laia is awake, and you can see her now.” My heart leaped, then fell as Beylore sighed. “Although you will have to take care.” She looked between me and Tristan. “Her memories have not returned.”

I couldn’t speak.

No, we couldn’t have come this far for nothing…

“What about the brand?” Tristan asked.

“It’s gone from her arms and neck, but not her ankle.” I let out a rough breath. “Without the crian shard, I have no way of undoing its harm completely. Even with it, there is a good possibility that we couldn’t reverse it. I’m sorry.”

“Oh no, that—that sucks,” Tristan said in a husky voice.

“Hold on,” Beylore said and put her hands on her hips, scowling. God, she looked like Xander when she did that. “We have the man responsible for this brand in our custody. With his blood, we may be able to undo it. But it’s a slim chance—you must understand that.”

“Why didn’t you say that first, Beylore?” Tristan demanded, and I couldn’t help but agree.

She rolled her eyes. “Because, dolts, as I said, it’s a slim, desperate chance. Bloodspells are finicky, and this brand is over a year old. Plus, the blood cannot be taken unwillingly.”

“Why the hell not?” I growled.

“Binding, Rett,” Beylore said. “If Laia is truly to be free, Jasper must release her.”

“What if we just kill the SOB?” Kal suggested, and we all looked at him. “What?”

“There’s no guarantee that death will end it, either, Kallen,” Beylore said. “And he is dying. Slowly. So, rest assured, the Bloodfang shifter is paying for his sins.”

“What?” Fallon, Tristan, and I asked together.

“The arrow that hit him was poisoned with a substance I have never come across,” Beylore said. “I believe it’s from the crian shard—something that kills shifters. Painfully.” She sighed. “At the very least, we’ve given him something to help. But he will not last the week.”

“I should go talk to him,” Tristan said. “You go see Laia.”

“No,” I said and clapped him on the shoulder. “She’s already seen you. Let me deal with Jasper. I saved him from the Skrors—the least he can do is give me his blood and free his friend.”

 

Entering the room of a dying man, even one who’d sold out the love of my life and caused her untold pain, was not easy. Finally, I entered quietly and crossed the room. The cloying smell of herbs met me. Jasper was propped up in bed, staring out. The soft light of the afternoon coming in through the window cast a pallor over his skin. He looked thin and small, almost like a boy.

It wasn’t until I cleared my throat that Jasper realized I was there. With great effort, he looked over and nodded. “I thought I might see you before the end, brother,” he said, and I winced. “Sorry. But then, you brought me here. You woke me up from Orion’s dark dreams. I owe you a great debt.”

“Why did you do it?” I blurted out.

“Which part?” he asked and let out a cough. “Turning my back on my brethren, or destroying the twenty years of friendship I had with Laia?”

“Both, I guess,” I said and sat down.

“The Stasis Bureau,” Jasper said slowly. “I saw horrors in their prisons and labs—saw my own family used, tortured, and discarded as though they were nothing. As though they no longer had souls.” His throat worked. “I let that anger poison me, control me, undo me.” He looked at me as I raised my eyebrows. “Having my own mind back has allowed me to go through all of this, but I always knew what I’d done when I made a deal with the devil.

“I let Orion in because I wanted to be the monster they were afraid of, not the other way around.” Jasper gave me a small smile. “It was fear. Fear of going back into the dark, back into the cage, and hearing those screams again.” He paused. “But it was also the fear that the SB was right.”

“That you were a monster,” I said quietly.

Throat working, Jasper nodded. “Orion feeds on that same fear, only in a far more cunning and dangerous way. Don’t underestimate him.”

There was silence for a few moments as I mulled that over. Jasper was so different from the shifter I’d fought two days ago. This man spoke softly, like a college professor, and had a certain kindness that made you want to be his friend. In another life, perhaps we would have been.

“I’m sorry you went through that,” I said with genuine compassion. “No Northbane has ever underestimated the toll that the SB took on shifters. Every shifter understands those fears.”

“But I will always be the shifter whose immolation of self and principles, of honor”—Jasper said the word with a certain bittersweet nostalgia—“whose lack of strength meant that Laia became collateral damage. After Laia saved me, too.”

“That pain,” I said slowly, “what shifters went through after the Rift—it changed us.” I wondered if I wouldn’t have wanted to cause some of my own pain if it had been my family captured by the SB and tortured in front of my eyes. “You weren’t the only one to make mistakes out of fear.”

“I can see why Laia loves you. You are too kind.” Jasper let out a sad, broken laugh. “And it wasn’t mistakes so much as madness, Deacon.”

“I’ve tasted that madness,” I said. “All of the Winfyre Commands have. Why do you think we work so hard to keep Winfyre safe? To make it what it is?”

“Orion has heard those rumors, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Jasper said.

“I knew it,” I said. “And he sent the shard with Laia, hoping we would use it?”

“Yes,” Jasper said and winced as he sat up straighter. “But it didn’t activate until that day—and the augris found a hole in your defenses on that island. It can move across lands in the blink of an eye and take as many people with it as it desires.”

“It feeds on fear, doesn’t it?” I asked, and Jasper nodded. “Then it was my fault.”

“But you didn’t use it,” Jasper said. “You only wanted to. There’s a difference.”

Yeah, I wanted to ensure that Laia got better, and Winfyre’s safety, no matter what. And it called for the augris. So she had to nearly lose her life to destroy it. Now she can’t remember anything.

“Good thing it’s lost now,” I said.

“Lost?”

“Laia was cornered by Sarrow, the augris, and some Skrors. From what we can tell, the shard activated and began to brand her anew, tracing up her arms and around her neck. So, she threw herself into the sea, off a cliff.” Jasper sat up, and I held out a hand, easing him back. “She lived. Probably thanks to you.”

“Dammit,” Jasper said and closed his eyes. “What of her memories?”

“Gone,” I said. “Even, I think, of you.”

“A small mercy,” Jasper muttered. “God, what have I done?”

“The healers say that with your blood and blessing, Laia can be freed of it,” I said.

Jasper gave me a wide-eyed look, white to the lips. “Take my blood,” he demanded. “Take it now. Save her, please. Let my death have some use.”

Beylore, who had been waiting outside, now entered and swept across the room. I moved so she could stand next to his bed, and Jasper extended his arm.

“As I take it, you must focus with all your heart on letting Laia go,” Beylore said, palpating his arm and finding a vein. A syringe dangled between her fingers. “It will be painful.”

“Anything to help her,” Jasper said passionately, and he gritted his teeth as Beylore inserted the needle. I caught one look at his stark face, his eyes focused on the ceiling and his muscles bulging on his neck, before I averted my eyes. He let out a soft and strained sound, then Beylore tapped my arm.

I nodded at her and looked back at Jasper. “Thank you.”

“You’re a far better man than I could ever have hoped to be,” Jasper said. “Someone worthy of Laia. I was a coward. Tell her…no. I have no right to send her messages. Take care of her, Deacon.”

“I will,” I promised and followed Beylore out.

To my surprise, the Riftborn gave me a small, sad smile. “I would have to agree, Rett. Not many men could thank a man like that.”

“He’s trying to save the woman I love, trying to make amends,” I said, a bit flustered by Beylore’s praise. “What else could I say?”

“That’s what I mean,” she said. “Come on.”

Tristan was sitting in a dejected heap outside of Laia’s room and started up when he saw us coming down the hall. I couldn’t help but glance around in curiosity, never having been allowed inside the Coven House before. All of the hallways were quiet and hushed, the sense of a library hanging over the place, but with an air of mischief, too. It smelled of clover and wood smoke, of sweet and dark smells. It gave me hope.

“You got it?” he asked, and Beylore nodded, vanishing inside. “My man.” Tristan embraced me. “I’m sure this will work.”

 

It didn’t.