Chapter Thirteen

Laia

 

Short of breath, disoriented, flushed, and with a rapid heartbeat: I took a vague and hasty inventory of my symptoms as I sprinted upstairs and closed the door of my room. I wasn’t relapsing.

No, something else entirely had come over me.

What had possessed me to kiss Rett on the cheek like that? I pressed my fingers to my lips.

Oh. Don’t forget giddy.

Walking over to the window, I stood back and craned my neck, trying to see if he was still in the backyard. The wind tossed through the trees, the green dancing against the bright blue, and the ocean sparkling. Everything seemed ten times more vivid right now.

And yet it still paled in comparison to how bright he made the world seem.

God, did I really just think that?

Ugh, I did, because it was so damn true. Under that gruff shell lay a sweet guy you wanted to get a smile out of. I tugged on my hair and shook my head. He had to think I was insane.

I looked in the mirror, seeing the woman holding on to her hair for dear life, and winced. Not only did I look insane, but I was also still so pale. There was no denying that girl had been sick for the past week.

Sick in the head, too.

Maybe it was just hormones or something. I’d never been around a guy like Rett before, big and muscular, working out shirtless. Of course I was finding excuses to come outside, so I wouldn't be that creep in the window. There was only so much one strained woman could take.

Then today. Ugh. He’d been sitting there, all hunched up and muscley, his skin glistening with sweat, his hair all messed up, and his face flushed. I’d been half-wishing it was from me, not the workout. I mean, how many times had I caught myself checking Rett out? Something I'd have to stop, since he wasn't as oblivious to it as I'd thought.

Between that and his smiles, I’d gone a bit insane. God knows I’d pushed it with Rett one too many times this past week. He’d go along with the flirting at first—until he realized it was flirting. And now that I knew Rett thought he’d overstepped with me, especially with the Alpha thing...

I’d thought that was why he kept backing off. However, even after we'd cleared some air today, and the offer of friendship was on the table, Rett had done it again…and he’d given me such a strange look, too, come to think of it.

So maybe it wasn’t the Alpha thing…but then what the hell could it be?

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the bed and tried to order my thoughts.

Laia, this is what I—

I heard Rett’s stumbling words again. He’d been staring at me, then he’d looked away, his face twisting with pain and his shoulders hunching.

I didn’t mean—

This is what he what? I shook my head. What didn’t he mean?

My body had almost fallen forward as Rett had pulled away. For once, it hadn’t been Llary chaos, which always had an edge of pragmatism.

No, in that moment, I’d just wanted to make him feel better.

I wanted him to be my friend.

What am I missing, here?

I looked down at my hand. Rett’s beard had been soft, with that satisfying scratchiness at the ends, while his skin had been warm and salty under my lips. He’d gone rigid at my touch, and I’d instantly regretted it. I’d gone too far, as Llarys tended to do.

And that look on his face as he turned back to me, of absolute shock. I hadn’t even explained…

My stomach sank. What if Rett thought I was trying to manipulate him?

I groaned and flopped backward. I should never have gone outside. I’d wanted to ask him to go into town. One, I was restless, and two, we were running low on supplies.

Then I’d seen him doing those push-ups, one hand folded on his lower back, the other moving in a blur as it held him up. His big shoulders had rippled with the effort, and his biceps had seemed twice as big. As had happened when I’d seen him, my teeth dug into my lower lip.

Yeah, if I had to pinpoint when I’d lost my sanity, it was probably then.

“Fallon, just let me get it.”

Rett’s bark echoed up the stairs, and I sat up. Quick, deliberate footsteps were coming down the hall. Coming towards me.

“I’m already up here,” Fallon called back.

“Fallon, dammit, wait—”

The door flew open, and I jumped, recoiling on the bed as Fallon barged in. She froze and stared at me, lips parted, while Rett came panting up behind, still bare-chested and sweaty.

“Oh my God,” Fallon said and came in, hands on her hips. “What are you doing in here?” She stepped farther in and whirled on her brother. “Something I should know about, li’l bear bro?”

Baffled, I looked from his grinning sister to Rett, whose cheeks were stained dark red. It made my heart do a funny little flip.

“No,” he growled. “I gave my guest the best room.” Fallon let out a giggle. “That’s all.”

“What?” I asked, and Rett looked up, the muscles in his neck taut, and his flush spreading down it. “I don’t understand…” I looked at Fallon, who pressed her lips together, struggling not to laugh, and it dawned on me. “This is your room?” I slid off the giant bed, looked around, and began to laugh. “Rett, you didn’t have to do that.”

“My little brother, the perfect gentlebear,” Fallon teased.

“Laia was—you were sick,” Rett snapped. “It was the polite thing to do.”

“So, once I wasn’t sick, what were you going to do? Kick me out?” I asked.

Rett’s shoulders rose, and I swear, I could feel the heat coming off of him. When our eyes met, I immediately dropped mine as the air hummed like a summer storm.

What is happening here?

“Of course not,” Fallon said and leaned against the dresser, wiping her eyes. “He would’ve kept up the pretense until the end of time. He may have even moved into the other room.”

“Rett,” I chided and snuck a glance up at him. He gritted his jaw as he glared at his sister. “I’m better now. Why don’t you let me move into a guest room?”

“No,” he said and darted a glance at me. “I’m going to take a shower. You stay.”

He stomped out before I could get another word in. Fallon straightened, going over to a desk, rifling through the lower drawer, and grinning to herself.

“I can’t believe he did that,” I said, half to myself.

“I can,” Fallon said and waved a folder at me. “Sorry I jumped to other conclusions.”

I gave her a nonplussed look, and then my cheeks burned. “Oh. Oh, no. Never.”

“Well, you have to admit, sometimes there does seem to be something interesting in the air around here…”

“No,” I demurred and rubbed my arms. Shit, Fallon was picking up on that? Did that mean there was something in the air? “We’re not even friends.”

“Yeah, friends don’t typically look at each other quite like that,” Fallon said thoughtfully, and I let out a small gasp. “I’m teasing. Although I’d never complain about having a Llary in the family.” She came over and gave me a brief squeeze. “Have a good rest of the day, okay?”

I nodded, unable to find a single word as Fallon strode to the door.

"Hey, Laia.” I jerked my head up. Fallon was lingering in the doorway, and her gaze was soft. “Don’t let him fool you. He’s not doing this out of obligation. He’s doing this because he wants to.”

“Um, okay,” I said and watched her go.

I wasn’t completely sure what she’d meant by that. If there was something more to Rett's charitableness than the fact that he’d claimed me and was a Command...

No, there couldn't be.

Still, just the idea made my heart leap.

 

The next day found Rett and me alone for the first time since the afternoon before. He’d gotten called out right after his shower and had gotten home late. I’d lain awake for hours in that bed. His bed. The room had changed with that knowledge. I wasn’t sure why it mattered, but it did.

Maybe because I kept picturing Rett stretched out in it, the blankets kicked down, his arms thrown above his head, and wearing nothing but boxers.

Or maybe nothing at all…no, stop it, Laia!

That image hit me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. It was responsible for the nervous, weirdly high-pitched “good morning” I chirped at him. It was also why I scurried to avoid coming within three feet of him.

For his part, Rett was wrapped up in thought. Not aloof, but gruff and tired.

“Was there something you needed yesterday?” he asked absently as I poured coffee.

My hands shook, and coffee slopped over the edge. “Shoot,” I muttered and put it down, spilling more. “Oh, ah, I need—”

I turned around and met a wall of muscle barely contained in a black t-shirt. Rett was so close, I could feel the heat coming off of him. It brought me back to yesterday, to his flustered growls, his red cheeks, the bed…oh no.

“Haaa-hi,” I squeaked, stumbling back. “What-what are you doing?”

“Rag to clean up the coffee,” he said and held it up, raising an eyebrow. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah, just rushing and not paying attention,” I said and smiled up at him.

Why was he so tall, handsome, and nice? Dark, wavy hair offset by brilliant sky-blue eyes. Broad shoulders and muscles everywhere you looked. I swear, sometimes I didn’t think this guy was real. Even his scent. The man smelled too good. Pine, bergamot, and cinnamon. Plus, his scent, that touch of masculinity, the warm bear under his skin. It made my chest tingle.

“Laia.”

“Hmm?”

“You gonna take the rag?”

“Huh?”

I blinked, and my lips parted as I realized I’d been staring up at him.

Rett snapped his fingers. “Laia, hello?”

“Yes,” I said and snatched the rag. “Thanks, sorry.”

Flushing, I spun around and began to scrub the floor, taking my time so my brilliant cheeks could fade. I made sure to keep my back to him as I wiped up the counter, sensing his gaze.

“So, how're things?” I asked when I finally turned around, my smile painful now. “Busy?”

Rett gave me a long, meditative look. “You’re weird this morning.”

“No,” I spluttered and flicked the rag. Coffee and water splattered on my face. I cringed, and Rett raised an eyebrow. “Well, that settled it.”

He sighed. “It’s because of yesterday, isn’t it?”

I froze. “Wh-what?” I asked. “What about yesterday?”

“You were going to ask me something.” He rubbed his chest. “But I got called away, and you don’t want to bug me. Or you don’t want to because I told you I was worried about being too familiar. Please, Laia, if there’s something you need…”

Relief swamped me. “Oh,” I said slowly as I eagerly latched on to this ready-made excuse. “Right. Yes. I mean, sort of—I was going to ask if we could grab stuff together in Cobalt. You know, since I didn't get to see much of it, being unconscious and all. But if you’re busy, I understand.”

“Wait, that’s it?” Rett leaned on the counter and studied me. “That’s what you wanted?”

“Yes,” I said. “Is that okay?”

“Llary, yes.” Rett gave me a crooked smile that lit me up from head to toe. “Hell, I’d be honored. Wanna go in about a half-hour? That enough time?”

“Perfect,” I squeaked, even though I had no idea how I was supposed to keep it together around him while we walked around town.

I’d thought he’d say no. Plus, all of my flirty energy of yesterday had dried up. Why had I thought this would be a good idea? Why hadn’t I lied?

Heading out a little while later, I felt marginally better. My hair was in a pretty topknot on top of my head, with just the right amount of messiness to make it look like it had taken me seconds, when it had actually taken about ten minutes. And I'd eschewed the regular Winfyre shifter garb of camo pants and black shirt. I was wearing a teal button-up tank and swishy umber skirt. Corinna had made both and had sent them over. That girl had an eye for flattering curves, I had to say.

Rett kept glancing over at me, and I grinned at him, my energy unfurling like a flower in the sun. He shook his head and looked away, his face becoming serious again. We were almost to the town, and I couldn't resist poking the bear just a little.

“Something on your mind, Deacon?” I inquired lightly.

“Yeah,” Rett said and met my grin with a demolishing one of his own. “You didn’t have to get dressed up on my account.” I gaped at him. “What? You look nice, Llary.”

My mouth opened wider, but no words came out, and Rett’s grin grew.

“Mm-hm, that’s what I thought,” he said. “Thanks.”

I could have gone doubly diabolical, which always seemed to throw him, or have outright denied it. Instead, I smiled and said, “You’re welcome.”

Rett let out a rolling laugh as we turned the corner into Cobalt. “Llary through and through.”

The air eased between us, and we spent the last minutes on the way to Cobalt bantering.

“Wow,” I murmured as we got closer. “This is unreal.”

It was less a town and more a rambling settlement, the houses set at comfortable distances apart, growing somewhat cozier as we got closer. Every roof was covered with a thick layer of waving green grass, some dotted with wildflowers. With the trees and overflowing gardens of Cobalt, it looked as though the woods had made room for the people, and not the other way around. I could hardly tell where the fields and forests had been cleared out, save for the road.

Up ahead, the winding, grassy road became hard-packed earth.  A fragrant mix of wood smoke and woody scents filled the air. I caught snippets of laughter, songs, and voices on the wind.

“So, right here is the crossroads,” Rett said as we stepped up to a juncture of six paths. “Head north, it’s the other side of Cobalt, and then you start getting up into the mountains—that’s where Luke lives. Head east, that’s the gates.”

“West?” I teased.

“Southwest is us,” Rett said. “Straight ahead is the market.”

The market was a colorful, crowded place. Everywhere we went, people hailed Rett with enthusiasm and introduced themselves to me. I met so many people, my head was spinning with names. The only ones that stuck were the families of Bix, Drue, and Gabriel, the Graces and the Juarezes.

Everyone was so welcoming and friendly. The only snag was when people asked me the presumably easy question about how I’d gotten here and my name. But Rett was good about deflecting them. He gave my name as Laia and conveniently found ways to avoid giving my last name. I’d never appreciated or liked him more.

His gruffness fell away in the town, especially as kids came up to say hi and chatter his ears off. A small crowd attended us all through the tents and stalls. By the time we left, we were laden down with bags and had several kids offering to help us bring them home.

“Nah, go off and play,” Rett said. “It’ll be winter before you know it.”

“Oh no, don’t say that,” cried a woman passing by. “It’s not even August yet.”

“You’d be surprised,” Rett said, and there was a wistful twist to his mouth. “Time goes too fast.” He half-glanced at me and squared his shoulders. “Go have fun,” he ordered the ragtag group bouncing around us. “I mean it.”

The kids scampered off, and I gave him a small smile. “That was nice.”

“Gotta make the most of the time you got,” Rett said.

“I don’t know,” I said as we left town. “Seems like time doesn’t rush up here. It’s nice.”

“No,” Rett said, his tone abrupt. “There’s always a clock runnin’ on something.”

“But if you’re always checking the clock, fussing about wasting time or not having enough time, how can you enjoy yourself or get anything done?” I asked.

“Unfortunately, I don’t have the leisure to ask those kinds of questions,” Rett said coolly.

“Oh, I…I didn’t mean anything by that,” I said quickly, hugging the packages closer.

Someone called hello to Rett, and he nodded at them with a forced smile. “I know,” he said after a few silent and tense moments. “Forget it. I just have a lot I have to get done today, is all.”

“Rett, you could have said no,” I murmured. “We could’ve gone another time.”

“No,” he said and swallowed. “Couldn’t have.”

We fell into a silence I wasn’t sure how to break. As we went along, I noticed he wouldn’t meet my eyes, either. Heart in my throat, I swallowed and looked at the bay. 

Rainclouds were rushing in over the bay, like the ugly thoughts in my head.

Is Rett talking about me?